CHAPTER TWENTY-SEVEN

The day dawned warm and bright, the lazy breeze stringing the fresh scents of trout and salmon through the reeds. Sootpaw yawned as he pulled himself to his feet, disoriented by the light and the sounds of movement in the camp. He blinked, trying to dim the harshness of the rising sun, momentarily forgetting where he was. There was no wall of rushes blocking the sun, no cool darkness surrounding him. Why was he not in his den? Then the feeling of a body at his side jolted everything into place.

"Lilypaw," he mewed stiffly. The she-cat was lounging beside him, her side pressed against his flank. His tail had somehow wound its way over the ridge of her back, and now he pulled it away hastily, skin heating underneath his fur.

She blinked, opened her eyes, and yawned. She was remarkably adorable, pink tongue flicking out from between sleek white teeth, but when her mouth shut and her keen vision met his, her beauty enveloped him once again. Her scent had wreathed around him, he noticed, feeling his flush deepen. "Morning," she breathed.

They had simply fallen asleep in the clearing, he realized with sudden relief. Nothing had happened between them last night. They were still both so young, merely apprentices, and if anything had passed between them, he would remember it. Sootpaw was sure of that, just as he was sure of the way his skin tingled whenever she looked at him. He would remember.

"Hey," he said, more gently this time, amber eyes warm. His heart was beating loudly and he could feel it in his ears, though it was a gentle thrum, warm as the greenleaf sun. For a wild moment, he wondered what it would be like to wake up like this every day, to feel Lilypaw at his side, to have her eyes be the first thing he saw each morning. He could stay in RiverClan, receive his warrior name from Rowanstar, and take Lilypaw as his mate. They could have kits, beautiful bundles of fur mewling and tumbling over his paws, kits that would one day grow to be strong warriors. He could name one after his mother. Cricketkit. It would be perfect.

Yet why did he feel so ashamed? Guilt pricked at his skin, guilt at falling asleep with an enemy apprentice, guilt at loving a RiverClan she-cat. No. I do not love her. He winced. His fate lay elsewhere, in ShadowClan. To give it up for her, whether or not his feelings were true, would be nothing but cowardly.

And then there had been Brambleclaw and the dream. Or had it been real? It was real. He knew that, much as he wanted to deny it. He remembered every detail perfectly, the scene etched permanently into his mind. He wanted to share it with Dawnpaw, and almost reached to take her back, but he couldn't do it with Lilypaw watching him. Sootpaw dug his claws into the ground in frustration. If Brambleclaw had been telling the truth, his course of action was clear. He couldn't waste another moment caught up in his emotions.

Lilypaw noticed him tense. "Are you alright?" she asked, voice soft and sweet. The she-cat pulled herself to her paws, lithe body elegant as the lake itself. "Sootpaw?"

"I have to go back," he whispered, the joy of his awakening now dust in his mouth. He was redeeming himself, but abandoning her. Was this the burden that Brambleclaw felt as well? Did he have to choose between love and duty? What about the others who defeated Tigerstar, what trials did they face?

"I know," she mewed grimly. The words were so simple from her mouth; she had accepted the fact before he had. "You told me last night, and I told you that I understood."

The grey tom was at a loss for words. He looked over her, wondering how so much heart could fit into such a small body. "Lilypaw, you said I was the bravest cat you knew," he mewed. He didn't repeat her other words, that she cared about him in a way she shouldn't. He wasn't ready to face that. "How... you barely know me."

"You're honest," she said quickly, before realizing how eagerly she had responded. Lilypaw shut her mouth quickly, flustered, and looked to the ground by his paws. It took a few seconds for her to compose herself again, but when her gaze matched his once more, the embarrassment had fled. "You... you told me about your mother. And you weren't scared of Russetpaw, or any of them. You're a strong fighter, a quick learner, but you're also kind and smart and funny. And you're not ashamed to care for another cat."

I wasn't always like that, he reflected wryly. There was a certain cat he needed to thank. Sootpaw wondered what would have happened if his mind had never been joined to Dawnpaw's, if he had been forced to face Falconswoop by himself. Would he have defeated his father, or just died, broken and sad, a replica of his father with twice the arrogance and half the strength?

"I've changed a lot," he mewed softly. "I was a horrible cat. I'm not anymore. I wish I could stay here in RiverClan... I like it here, Lilypaw, and I like you."

She looked away, and he wondered if she was sad. His stomach churned. He had admitted his feelings, though they had been quite understated, and Lilypaw hadn't reacted the way he had hoped she would. "Are you okay?" he mewed, as softly as he could.

"Yes," Lilypaw said, though her response was delayed. "I like you too. A lot. And I respect your privacy, Sootpaw, and I know you don't have to tell me anything, but... if you're going to leave, I want to know why."

Her words rang deep. Sootpaw pushed his muzzle against her cheek, her silvery fur soft and fine against his coarser pelt. "I don't usually confide in others," he told her. "Maybe that was my weakness. I'll tell you, Lilypaw, but only if you're sure. You shouldn't have to suffer under my burden." He owed it to her to tell the truth, coming to RiverClan so abruptly, and falling for her, and causing her to fall for him.

"I'm sure." Lilypaw's voice rang with confidence. She had straightened up, and there was a fire in her eyes now. Not a fire. Lightening. Beautiful and strong and whip-like, just like her. She wanted to help him, a cat she barely knew, a tom from an enemy Clan, and that meant everything to him.

Sootpaw hesitated, his throat tight. This was the moment he could tell her everything, finally tell another cat his secret, finally relieve the pressure that had been weighing down his chest since he had cut Dawnpaw from his mind. But if he said the words, he couldn't go back. Never go back. But it was Lilypaw, and she was beautiful and kind, and he needed someone like her to gentle the arrogance and the anger and the fear that lived within him. So he said it.

He told her about Falconswoop and the trail of blood, told her that his father meant for Hailstripe to die. He told her what he could about the battle, how he thought Falconswoop had started it, and how his father had murdered the deputy and tried to frame it on Russetpaw. He told her how Falconswoop had been watching him, how ShadowClan was no longer safe. He even told her about Kitepaw, how he had mistreated his brother and how he had saved him in the battle, how Kitepaw had always loved him, and how it was time to finally set his brother free.

The tom left out the parts about Dawnpaw, telling Lilypaw that a ThunderClan patrol had been wandering by and had heard the noise from the border. He didn't want the RiverClan apprentice to know about his mind-link. He said only that he hadn't felt safe going to ThunderClan, thinking that his father might have predicted it.

To her credit, Lilypaw never flinched. She swallowed heavily, and without saying a word, pressed her head against his neck. He instinctively moved to rest his chin on the top of her head, feeling her body rise and fall with every breath. "I'm so sorry, Sootpaw," was all she said. "I'm so sorry."

"Me too," he said wanly, and let her press herself against him for a moment longer.

After a long time had passed, she turned to look up at him. "Will you come back?"

He wanted to say yes, to tell her that they could be a family, that their kits would be beautiful and strong. But he would never be happy as a RiverClan warrior, and he knew, just as he had known last night, that he could not love two she-cats at once. So he only dipped his head. "I don't know."

Lilypaw accepted his answer. StarClan, how can she be so understanding? It was enough to make him angry, but that was the old him, so he let the feelings settle down. "Thank you," he murmured.

"Of course," she said. She did not sound sad or frightened, only weary, but her eyes were still bright, and they glimmered with her usual sly humour. Lilypaw wasn't weak. This was a light blow, nothing more. Relief flooded through him.

Other cats began to move from their dens, and the two had to pull apart. Skin prickling once more, Sootpaw forced himself to eat something, though his stomach was threatening to do backflips. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Lilypaw pad towards the camp exit, and a heavy sadness fell over him. The tom turned. "Lilypaw."

She looked back, and he felt his heart beating, hard and heavy. Tell her no. No. No. Say no. No. "Yes."

The she-cat understood him and dipped her head, the slightest of movements, before turning away. Sootpaw stood there a moment longer before he realized he was holding his breath. Exhaling, the tom felt as if his limbs were mush. Did he just promise to come back to her? It was a promise he could never keep.

No. He couldn't think about that now. He needed to find Toadstripe and tell the deputy that he was leaving. Sootpaw watched Lilypaw's slender tail as it slipped through the reeds and disappeared, and just recalling her scent, felt his heart tear in two.

He found Toadstripe eating a trout outside Rowanstar's den. The black tom looked weary, but his eyes lit up as he saw Sootpaw approach. The ShadowClan apprentice had never understood why Toadstripe had taken to him so fondly, but there was an unspoken connection between the two, one that traced its origins to the battle in ShadowClan camp. Toadstripe had had no choice but to lead the patrol, but his heart had never been into the fight. He's like Hailstripe, thought the grey tom. A good deputy, a good fighter, but not one that lusts for blood.

Not like Falconswoop.

"Hi," he said, rather stiltedly. "Are you busy?"

Toadstripe shrugged. "Counting flies."

Sootpaw didn't know how to reply to that. "How's Rowanstar?"

Something dark flashed in the deputy's eyes, and for a moment, Toadstripe looked uncertain. "She's alright," he said slowly. "Cats get old, and her body is frail, but her mind is as sharp as it ever was."

"Good," said Sootpaw. "Umm..."

Toadstripe sighed. "What do you want, Sootpaw?" he asked.

Sootpaw took a moment to study him. Toadstripe was close to Falconswoop's age, maybe a few seasons older, and he had also lost his mate. Sootpaw remembered the pain in Lilypaw's eyes when she had spoken of her mother. It couldn't have been easy for Toadstripe. Yes, the black-and-brown tom seemed tired, even gaunt, but there was an air of wisdom and humility to him that Falconswoop would never possess. You could have been like my father, but you were stronger and wiser instead.

"Sootpaw?" prompted the deputy.

"Sorry," he mumbled, shuffling his paws. "It's just... I'm going to go back to ShadowClan. I've cleared my head and I know what I need to do now. So..."

"You have my permission to return," said Toadstripe wryly. "But I guess you didn't really need it. Thank you for telling me, Sootpaw."

Also, I might have feelings for your daughter. Sootpaw swallowed. "Is that... is that it?"

"There was never a moment when anyone thought that RiverClan would become your home," mewed Toadstripe, not unkindly.

"Okay," said Sootpaw. He paused, stricken, not sure if the words pressed in his throat were advisable. He said them anyway. "I'm sorry about... about the fight. We didn't... It shouldn't have happened. I'm sorry. Again."

"Me too," said Toadstripe softly. There was another flicker of darkness in his eyes. "I can't undo the past or fix the mistake that was Hailstripe's death. But I can promise that there will be justice."

"Thank you," said Sootpaw. He looked kindly at the older tom, amber eyes warm, and then turned away. It was time to go home. There was something he was itching to do, but he wanted to be well away from camp first.

He went past the reeds towards the lakeshore, following the sandbanks as they led him towards the treeline. The day was warmer than he had hoped, and the wind was refreshing as it filtered through his fur. Tufts of grass tickled at his ankles. On the sheltered side of a scrub-covered knoll, he stopped beside a mass of bramble and closed his eyes. It was time to find Dawnpaw.

He visualized the cave entrance again, stacked with boulders. They were easier to remove this time; he was the one who had put them there. He could feel her on the other side, pulsating gently, as if she was one with the wind. Sootpaw longed for the tranquility of her mind, the softness, the love and the kindness. Her mind was pinks and yellows while his was a mixture of blues and browns, hers white where his was black. He remembered how shy and unsure she had been when they had first met. Now she had changed as well. She was stronger than she looked, and stronger than he was, by far.

Hey, he said softly, pushing his mind delicately against hers, longing for the sweet feeling that would course through his veins when her mind responded in turn. There was a very long silence, and Sootpaw realized he was holding his breath. He tried to see through her eyes, but it was like looking into clouded water, and he didn't want to push any further.

Sootpaw? Her voice was so sweet that he nearly broke down. He clung to the sound of his name, wrapping it in his mind and locking it up where it could never be taken from him.

I'm so sorry, he told her gently. He felt her hesitate, felt her ache to trust him and the disbelief that held her back. I made a mistake and I'm so very sorry. I've made a lot of mistakes, Dawnpaw. But I promise you, this is the last time I'll have to ask for your forgiveness.

She was still unsure, he knew, but the harmony between them was so beautiful that he felt her uneasiness begin to fade. Their minds were humming together as one, their thoughts merely beads on a long string that stretched far over the trees, through the clouds, past the stars themselves.

Dawnpaw paused. What are you going to do now?

His thoughts were grim. I'm going to do what I've been meant to do my whole life. I'm going to prove that I'm not my father. I'm going to prove that his anger makes him weak. I'm going to end it.

Yes, he would end it. But before he found his father, there was one other cat he needed to see.

x x x

Toadstripe caught the large ginger tom just as he was leaving the RiverClan camp. The apprentice's deep red fur shone like fire in the sunlight, a dark flame that threatened to set the reeds alight. It was symbolic, in a way, and it caused an unsettling feeling in his stomach. His gut was tight, his ears pricked and eyes wide, his whole body tense and riddled with anxiety.

"Russetpaw," said Toadstripe. The apprentice had stopped but had not turned around. His muscles were rippling, tense, underneath his sleek fur, and by the sound of it, he was trying to control his breathing. "Russetpaw," Toadstripe said again.

Russetpaw turned, his dark green eyes carefully neutral. "Yes, Toadstripe?"

"Can we go somewhere and talk?" The deputy cut straight to the chase.

Russetpaw paused. "Can it wait? I was going to go meet Reedthroat and Lilypaw for a training session."

"No, it can't." Toadstripe had assigned Reedthroat to a patrol not long ago; he wouldn't be back until sunhigh. "Where were you really going?"

The RiverClan apprentice said nothing. His eyes glittered with malice. Eventually, he turned away, passing the reeds into the open grasslands of their territory. "Follow me," he mewed stiffly, and Toadstripe obeyed.

They walked until they met the lake, and then they walked some more along its edge, heading towards the ShadowClan border. The ground was soft and sandy underfoot, interspersed with patches of sparse grass and smooth grey pebbles. Russetpaw stopped underneath a spreading oak, its red leaves dry and cracked. "You figured it out."

"Yes," said Toadstripe. "But tell me, why? Did you do it for power?"

Russetpaw just shrugged. "How did you know?" he asked.

"You lied about Sootpaw being on the patrol," said Toadstripe. "I knew Sootpaw wasn't there. He was just as confused as I was on the night of the attack. So it had to be you. You made up that there was a patrol. You wanted us to attack ShadowClan. You wanted Hailstripe to die. Why?"

The red tom snorted. "You're so weak, Toadstripe, so old and weak. You don't understand."

"Was it for power?" Toadstripe repeated, angrily this time. "Who helped you? Who planted the ShadowClan scent? Why? What did he promise you?"

"There are two types of cats," said Russetpaw. "The weak and the strong. When RiverClan fell to ShadowClan, I didn't want to be part of the weak. I helped him, yes, because he's strong. I helped him because Rowanstar is old and frail and you're too weak to lead. RiverClan needs a strong leader, someone who isn't afraid to fight."

"And that's you?" Toadstripe's voice was tight. He was angrier than he had ever been, but sad as well, so horribly sad that the emotion threatened to drown him.

"It would have been," said Russetpaw. "I was protecting myself, and the cats I care about. I would have been fine. Leader, even, when I grew older. He wouldn't have hurt the ones I loved most. He would have kept Lilypaw safe..."

His daughter's name stung as if Russetpaw had raked him across the face. "Who, Russetpaw? Who?"

"Falconswoop," Russetpaw spat. "A better deputy than you. I know Sootpaw's gone after him."

"I know you know," said Toadstripe darkly. "That's why you try to slink out of camp. You're going to stop him."

"Falconswoop will rule all the Clans one day," said Russetpaw. "That was his plan. First, he would take over ShadowClan. Then it would be RiverClan's turn. With the strength of those two at his back, the other Clans wouldn't have a fighting chance."

Anger, confusion, and heartbreak all swam through his chest. "You were only concerned with saving yourself."

"No!" roared Russetpaw, and there was pain in his voice amidst the hatred. His eyes were wild now. "I told you. It was for them, for her..."

Toadstripe felt sick. He was disgusted with the younger tom, disgusted and outraged, but most importantly, hurt beyond belief. "You were my apprentice..."

"I was," Russetpaw agreed. "You were always fawning over Lilypaw, or mourning Silverpool, or breaking your back for Rowanstar's every need... So I found someone who could actually teach me."

Toadstripe could only shake his head. "I can't look at you. I just can't. There's no way to forgive what you've done. Hailstripe died because of you. Our Clans nearly went to war because of you. You sicken me."

"So kill me," taunted Russetpaw. "I dare you to do it, right now."

Toadstripe wished he could. He wished he could sink his claws into the tom's neck and watch as his blood pooled on the sand around them. But that wasn't the type of cat he was. Russetpaw had been his apprentice. He could never hate the tom, not truly. It's my fault as much as his. How had it come to this?

"I won't kill you," he said at last. "But I will banish you. Russetpaw, I hereby strip you of your name and rank. As of now, you are no one. You are in exile. If I ever see you on RiverClan territory again, I will kill you."

The tom who had once been Russetpaw stared up at him with hateful green eyes. "You can't do that. Only Rowanstar can do that."

Toadstripe shook his head very slowly, and raised a long, pale claw. "Leave. Now."

And so the red tom did.

X X X X X X X

A/N: First, I'd like to stress something pretty important. Dawnpaw and Sootpaw are distantly related, yes. They share Tigerstar's blood, but that was generations ago, and their ancestors have been in different Clans since that time. One of the reasons Dawnpaw was chosen at the time was that she was around the same age as Sootpaw as well. But if you look in canon, Dustpelt is Ferncloud's uncle. That's just an example, but cats don't really see relatedness as we do. Sootpaw and Dawnpaw aren't close family, meaning that anything between them wouldn't be wrong or incest. Not saying that there will be something between them (heh) but the whole distant relation thing doesn't impact any potential romance.

Anyway, here's your long-awaited Soot/Dawn reunion, plus the revelation of who the traitor was. Hopefully some of you had already caught it. Russetpaw was basically Falconswoop's pawn, though he wouldn't phrase it that way if you asked. I believe there are about five chapters left, maybe six, including the epilogue. From here on out it's going to be a lot of action. Branchpaw fans will particularly like the next chapter (or dislike it, considering the content...) We'll have some Branchpaw, some Sootpaw, some Dawnpaw, and even a Kitepaw POV as we draw toward the climax.

I also have to start planning for the next book. I'm about halfway done outlining it, and it along with the necessary Dawn and Soot viewpoints, we'll get to see from Thickfur and Elmheart's perspectives. We'll also finally get a somewhat consistent WindClan narrator, along with a returning character from PotS who you probably won't expect to see.

Blackish: Don't get me wrong, I'm grateful that you're taking the time to give such an in-depth criticism of my work, but I think you're missing the point of reading the story. Yes, my grammar sometimes needs work, and yes, my descriptions are predictable. But if you're not going to read the story and enjoy it, then why bother reading it at all? Give me some feedback on the characters, the plot, the action sequences. Tell me if you're engaged in the conflict, if you care about Sootpaw and Dawnpaw and Branchpaw. That's what I want to hear.

Thistlethorn of ShadowClan: Of course I'd love to give you some tips! Thanks for such high praise :) I'm glad that you love Sootpaw, whiny and critical as he is, and that you don't mind Lilypaw either. You guessed it, he's going back.

Ponyiowa: Read the first paragraph of my author's note and your worries will vanish :)

Frostfeather: I think Dawnpaw would have been happy, once upon a time. If she was older and nothing had happened to Branchpaw and Sootpaw, it might have worked out with her and Elmheart. But as it stands, there's a cat she seems to need a bit more, and I'm sure you know who I mean.

allygirl56: Thanks for the review! Yeah, he's pretty confused, poor guy. Hopefully he can work it out.

zestia240: Woo, Thickfur fans are the best, though! He's probably one of my favourite characters, haha.

DaugherofZeusRules: Yes, there will be more, as you can probably tell by the paragraph I wrote about it up there :) And don't thank me, I'm just the writer! You reviewers are the ones I couldn't do it without.

I guess there's nothing left to say here except thank you to everyone who reads this and has added it to their alerts. You guys are awesome, even if you don't review. Also, it's pretty crazy to know I have my own mini-fandom. There are no words to express how grateful I am for your support, though you'll know it when I start to troll you by throwing red herrings in every chapter.

Quick question: if I had a blog thing for updates and more in-depth review responses (so as not to clutter this space) would it be something you guys would actually read from time to time?

Thanks for reading and please review!

- PV :)