29. Simple Pragmatism
When morning comes, I'm still stumped. It's a tricky enough situation even without the stick through the wheelspokes that is Seranni being here.
After staring at the wall for almost an hour, counting the warps and knots in the unpainted boards, one hand running absently up and down the arm Jowan's draped over me, I finally sigh and wiggle free to climb out of bed. Jowan-as always-is so deep asleep he doesn't even realize I'm gone, at least not beyond rolling onto his stomach almost immediately.
I smile slightly as I move to sit in the chair by the window-the only furniture in the room besides the bed. I need something different to stare at while I think, and the view of the treeline this room affords will do nicely. The chair creaks slightly as I settle into it and hug my knees into my chest.
The Disciple is not intentionally hurting people, it never has. On this count, at least, the Architect was right and successful. A peaceful darkspawn. However-and this is a big however-it still spreads the Taint. Still blights crops, animals, land, people. My mind goes to the widow I talked to yesterday, eyes red as she struggled to keep her voice level, tried to be strong because she knew her children could hear us. Her husband will never come home again. Because he was tainted while helping clear the infected land.
My long ago words to Nathaniel echo in my mind. "If only a fraction of them don't stay in the Deep Roads, the Taint will spread with them... I don't want to see the population of Thedas turned into ghouls."
If Seranni's taint really isn't spreading and she's not blighting the land, maybe we need to kill the Disciple. I hate this part of being a Warden. Even if it is a darkspawn, killing innocents is not something I enjoy doing.
But if it's spreading the Blight by its mere presence, is it truly innocent? a voice nags at the back of my brain. And it's a darkspawn. You're supposed to protect them world from them as well as the Blight, remember?
What if Seranni needs it? I retort mentally. If I effectively doom her sister, Velanna will never so much as look at me again. And how many lives is Velanna's cooperation worth? How many deaths are acceptable for one Grey Warden's sentimental attachment to her former life? Maybe once Seranni is feeling better we can relocate them somewhere less populated, like the Anderfels, or Kocari Wilds, or the Frostbacks... Or you could just kill the darkspawn like a Grey Warden should.
I curse under my breath, raking a hand through my hair as I stare at the trees. I wish Jowan hadn't stayed so quiet last night. I could really use a less emotionally invested opinion. The rest of us care too much. For Velanna, it's her sister, Jerin wants Velanna happy, and I know all too well the lengths people will go to for family. I've gone to those lengths, I can hardly blame Velanna for doing the same. Jowan's the only one out of the four of us without a personal stake in one outcome or the other.
"I hate this," I whisper to my knees. Pragmatically speaking, the Disciple is a darkspawn and is spreading the Taint, which has resulted in at least two deaths. It doesn't matter if it's doing so on purpose, as a Grey Warden, I have a responsibility to kill it. We gave it a second chance and it's still-however unintentionally-killing people.
But I'mfar too emotionally driven to make a strictly pragmatic decision. We'd have to find some way to either take care of Seranni-maybe she could come back to the Vigil?-or enable her to take care of herself before I could even think about killing the Disciple. I need to get James to take me to visit her, so I can see how she's doing, in regards to both the Taint and her current illness. I know Velanna said the Taint hasn't spread since the Silverite Mine, but Velanna is the least unbiased source imaginable on this particular issue. I am possessed of enough pragmatism to not just take her word for it.
Since that's about the only course of action I can settle on for sure, I decide to go see if it's possible to carry out right now. I know it's early, but this is a farm. Farmers are usually up early.
Sure enough, I bump into one of James' brothers at the bottom of the stairs. He greets me with a smile that crinkles the corners of his sky blue eyes. "Mornin'. Didja have a good night's sleep? I'm Colin, by the way."
"Rahna. Nice to meet you, and yes, I did, thank you. Would you happen to know where I can find James?" I roll up my sleeves and brush hair out of my eyes.
"He's out in the barn with Owen," Colin replies. "Prob'ly answerin' a slew of wuestions regardin' where he was last night and how he happened t' bring four Grey Wardens home with 'im."
I can tell from the look he's giving me that he's curious as well, and I figure it can't hurt to indulge him a little. "He... sort of bumped into us bumped into us on his way back from visitin' his lady friend. We were so caught up in our investigation we'd lost track of time."
"Even after it got dark?" He raises an eyebrow.
"Mmhm. Two of the four of us are mages," I explain. "They provided illumination."
"Ah, well, friendly piece of advice, Rahna; James will likely be a little cranky, bein' short on sleep an' Owen havin' subjected him to questionin'."
"Thanks for the warning," I laugh. "I'll get out of your hair now." I head for the barn, pulling my hair back in a loose braid as I walk.
When I reach the barn, it's very obvious Colin's warning was a wise one; I can almost feel the tension rolling off James, and his brother looks rather surly as well. "Time for a break?" I joke.
"That might not be a bad idea," James mutters, shooting a meaningful glare at Owen's back.
"Hey, you're the one who's been gentleman enough t' make Pa proud the whole time you've courted Maisy. D'ya really expect me to swallow some bull about you stayin' there far past dark-not to mention when her parents normally go to bed?" his brother fires back.
"C'mon, Owen, we didn't do anything. Just talked." James almost angrily pushes up his sleeves. "Or are you callin' me a liar?"
"All I'm sayin' is it's about as likely as Pa risin' from the dead that you were there the whole time, an' I don't understand why where youactually were is such a big damned secret!"
I garb James' arm as he begins to retort. "Okay, yeah, you two need some space to simmer down before you continue this conversation. James, walk with me."
He follows with only minimal resistance. "What did you need, Warden?"
"I wanna talk to Seranni," I inform him, releasing my grip on his arm. "Can you take me to see her?"
He nods, running a hand through his hair. "Why not? I need to take them food, anyway, if both of 'em hafta stay in the tunnels. And Owen at least is suspicious already, so sure. Let me get together some supplies and we'll be off."
It doesn't take him long to gather some basics that he's mostly sure his brothers won't miss, and then we set off for the cave entrance. James follows the wandering path through the tunnels that even if I was good with directions, I would be totally lost. Me beingme, I couldn't find my way out if all the lives in Thedas depended on it. But finally we reach a point where one last curve leads to a wider section of tunnel-a cave within the cave-where a dark, raggedly clad figure and a familiar-if paler than I remember-elf sit engaged in quiet conversation. They look up as we approach.
"Hello, Seranni," I greet Velanna's sister. "I need to talk to you."
A/N: Hey guys, sorry this is going up kinda late. I had to leave the house really early this morning and haven't had a chance to post until now.
