A/N: Now this was a fucking journey, holy shit.
MASSIVE shoutout to quite-a-riot for betareading and editing this chapter. Putting up with my bullshit must've been quite the ordeal lmao. You people should seriously go and check her story - Passive Aggressive Post-Its - out, if you haven't already. If you thought this piece of shit was good, that one will blow you out of the water. I'm not kidding.
Hangover
Erik Cubellios was never somebody who openly showed distaste for things. Over the years he'd learned to tolerate most things that would inherently piss anyone off, likely the result of hanging around Natsu and dealing with his annoying crap day in and day out. But what he did find borderline psychotic were the utterly atrocious prices in hospital vending machines.
"Who the fuck would pay three bucks for a goddamn Pepsi?" he mused aloud, his eyes scanning the supposedly wide selection of beverages and snacks. A sigh left him.
"This is so not what I'm used to," he muttered to himself. Backing away from the mechanized thief of a machine, Erik's eyes glazed over the surrounding premises. The bland-white covered hallways, the medical coat-adorning doctors and scrub wearing nurses, the sickly patients and the anxious and/or depressed visitors. Everything just seemed so damn familiar it made him feel like a kid again.
It wouldn't be a stretch to say that Lucy's horror-stricken voice over the phone about half an hour ago didn't really surprise him. Okay, it kind of did, but when he was let in on the little piece of information that caused her distress, the redhead could only laugh. A human using nothing but his own fucking head to practically rip off a darn lamppost would have been shocking to anyone but him. He was used to Natsu's bullshit, though, so all he could really do was humor her.
Granted, it wasn't like Erik didn't care for Natsu. He did. More than he himself could stomach at times. What he could decipher from the relatively incomprehensible flurry of words from the blonde on the phone was that Natsu somehow launched himself into a lamppost and ended up passing out. Anyone else would've gone what the fuck and just stood there scratching their heads. Not Erik. By this point he had a How-to-Natsu field degree under his belt which guided him through his next steps.
Luckily for all of them he was with his car. Lately he'd been saving gas money and taking the bus or hitching a ride from Kagura to class if she went in the campus' general direction. So he acted quickly: he found the two of them huddled up next to Clive Center, tossed Natsu over his shoulder, got them into his car and raced over to Magnolia Municipal where their team's designated physician, Warrod Sequen, was doing his rounds. On Lucy's demand the redhead floored the gas pedal and couldn't help but feel almost as though he was a stuntman in one of those cheesy and redundant Fast and Furious movies.
The result of phoning Warrod ahead of time didn't surprise him much either. The physician could arguably be more used to Natsu's surprise bullshit attack! than even Erik was, given how many times the doctor treated him for shit he'd literally brought upon himself.
Then again Erik was, likely, the only one who knew what it felt like to help Natsu get off a fucking flag post he had managed to get stuck on. Or to walk in on him when he was in the middle of a threesome… with girls he wasn't really supposed to be having threesomes with.
What the hell has my life come to?
Making his way back to Warrod's office, where Lucy was undoubtedly still going out of her mind with worry, Erik had begun deliberating whether it was really worth it to spend three fucking dollars to buy a beverage on account of how dry his throat was. Kagura and he had downed a couple of wine glasses the previous night and he was still nursing a slight hangover. It wasn't anything Natsu-level, but it was enough to give him a light form of cottonmouth.
"Are you okay, dear?" a voice called out to him, making him turn to the source.
Score! He thought, barely suppressing a grin when an elderly nurse found him. "No, yeah. I'm alright," he said, chuckling nervously.
"Are you sure?" she asked again, looking unconvinced. "You look lost."
"It's just…" Erik began, groaning, "My best friend's in Doctor Sequen's office right now. He hit his head pretty hard and passed out. His girlfriend is waiting for him, worried out of her mind. I thought I'd try cheering her up with a coke or something," he pointed a thumb over his shoulder towards the vending machine, "but everything's just so horribly expensive… if I buy it I won't have any money to cover my bus ticket fare." The redhead let his head slump down in defeat.
"Oh, dear…" the nurse began, the tone of voice she used telling Erik everything he needed to know. "I keep telling them the darn thing is just too expensive. This is a hospital, for Mavis' sake. We shouldn't be stealing from our patients. Here, come with me."
Feigning curiosity, Erik did as he was told. Inwardly, however, the redhead deliberated how utterly evil he was. But then again three bucks is three fucking bucks.
The elderly worker led him behind the nurses' station and into a small room that Erik found too familiar. Sure, it wasn't the same one he had basically grown up in, but one hospital was pretty much like another.
"Help yourself to some," the nurse said, smiling up at the basketball player as she pointed to the storage fridge. "I'm sure the other nurses won't mind sharing with a handsome and polite young man such as yourself."
"Are you sure…? I mean, I don't really have any way to pay you back," he said, hesitating.
"Oh think nothing of it. A simple thank you will do!" She gave him a wave as the tiny speaker hanging around her neck screeched out a request for an assist, and left him to pilfer their beverages to his heart's content.
Don't need to tell me twice.
"Well, okay…" Crouching down in front of the small fridge, Erik was surprised to see a couple of Red Bull cans stored inside of it. He guessed it belonged to one of the younger nurses making her rounds. Speaking of younger nurses, those energy drinks really reminded him of…
Oh, fuck.
Frantically scanning the inside of the fridge, Erik settled for some iced tea he found lying in the very back. Taking the item, he closed the fridge, stood back up, thanked the older woman from the bottom of his heart, and did his best to get the hell out of dodge before…
"What are you doing here?"
Before that happened.
Now this is just fucking wonderful.
"Sayla," Erik greeted the beautiful dark-blue-haired female in front of him with an uneasy chuckle. Scratching the back of his head nervously, the redhead began contemplating what he had done to deserve this.
The nurse in question seemed less than amused to see him, judging from the way she tapped her foot against the ground and glared at him. Yep, definitely not a heaping pile of amusement.
"I asked you a question, Cubellios," she demanded, the tone of her voice alone implying he was about to get murdered.
"Oh, you know. Same old, same old," he said, backing away from the nurses' station carefully. All he really wanted to do was get the hell out of there and as far away from this witch of a woman who was very likely imagining all the ways she could cut his balls off.
"Is Natsu here, Cubellios?" she cooed in a sing-song voice, yet her intentions were crystal clear. Her glare swiftly turned borderline homicidal at the thought of the pinket, "I thought I told you two to never show your faces here ever again."
"Come on, Sayla, baby," Erik said, another nervous laugh leaving him. "Don't be like that. This is a hospital. Healthcare be praised!"
"Get the hell out of here before I stab your eye out with a syringe."
"Getting the hell out of here before you stab my eye out with a syringe – got it," he nodded as he raised his hands up defensively, backing up. He knew better than to turn his back to her.
As soon as he rounded the corner Erik leaned against a wall and let out the pent up breath he didn't realize he had been holding in. Why the hell did Natsu have to think it was a good idea to flirt and/or sleep with every other eye-candy-like female he laid his eyes on? It was bad enough the guy didn't know what the fuck he was getting himself into when he did it on the fly, but to get Erik involved was another matter entirely.
Pocketing the beverage he'd practically nicked from the nurses station, Erik made his way along the hospital's long hallways towards Warrod's office. He had to admit, he kinda missed the feel of them. Despite the usually ridiculous circumstances of Natsu that drew him inside one of these places, he couldn't say he didn't enjoy them. He could practically see his dad walking down the hall in his lab coat, checking his ancient pager and barking out orders to whatever surgical intern he had that week. It reminded him of home. Actually made him homesick – something he couldn't help but chuckle at.
"Yo," Erik said as he approached Lucy, seated in the waiting area next to Warrod's office. He couldn't help but notice how nervous she seemed, fidgeting in her seat. This couldn't be all because of Natsu, could it? Not like this wasn't a usual occurrence, he reasoned, raising a brow. "You alright?"
"Hey. Yeah," she replied, offering the male a wide smile that didn't quite make it to her eyes as he sat down next to her. She dropped her gaze quickly and her fingers fiddled with a corner of the faded vinyl covering her chair that had come loose. "I'm totally fine."
"What's wrong?" he pushed, trusting his intuition. "It almost feels like you're scared to be here or something."
"Natsu might have just split his head open, Erik. I think I'm entitled to some discomfort," she defended, her brows furrowing, but her fingers still tugging away at the fabric.
"Yeah, sure. But this is Natsu we're talking about, yeah?" he countered, still very much unconvinced.
"I'm just not the biggest fan of hospitals, okay?" She finally met his eyes again, with a spark of annoyance flickering in hers. Her shoulders had tensed as her fingers quit moving. She was going on the defensive.
"Why?" Maybe it was the ball player in him, but he couldn't help but keep pushing her.
"It's…" A sigh left her lips as the tension left her again. She took a moment before she spoke. "It's my mother. She was in and out of hospitals when I was a child."
Erik could tell where this was going, and it made him sick to his stomach at the mere thought. Regardless of that, he asked anyway. Really hoping he was wrong. "Where is she now?"
"She passed away when I was thirteen," Lucy stated, her smile turning melancholic at the memory.
"Shit, Lucy," Erik said, instant regret washing over him for not just leaving her the fuck alone. "I'm sorry."
"It's okay, it's been years since it happened," she said. "You seem right at home, though," she added, finding it amusing how he was practically laying in his seat.
"Huh?" He turned to her, having been caught lost in his thoughts for a split second, "Oh, yeah," he laughed, thankful for the change in topics, "I pretty much grew up in one. Dad was a surgeon, mom was mostly out of town for work and stuff. Well, and because Natsu's an idiot. I know this particular place like the back of my hand."
As if to cement this, Erik stood up, pulled his seat back, turned it around, and laid back down, lifting his legs up on the support-railing on the wall, using it as a footrest, "There we go."
"That… isn't really surprising," Lucy said, chuckling at the redhead's antics. "Considering how fast you got to us – our hero – I could tell this wasn't your first rodeo."
"Yeah, yeah, laugh it up," he said through a snort. "you two will be paying me back for the gas before you know it."
"Say," she began, turning to him with some curiosity, "you said your father was a surgeon. And you do seem to fit right in here. Didn't you want to follow in your father's footsteps?"
"Not necessarily," Erik replied with a shrug, glancing at the ceiling absentmindedly. "I mean, yeah, sure, that was the plan. At first, anyway. Then basketball happened in high school. We won back-to-back titles and I sort of realized what I really wanted to do, I guess?" He smiled. "It just felt right."
Those years, aside from his time spent in FTU, were arguably the greatest years in his life. Erik was likely the only member of their team to have started playing ball just for the hell of it, like most sports. He was just naturally athletic and had a good enough brain on his shoulders to be able to efficiently succeed in just about any sport, so the might as well mentality carried him through his first season.
When he reached the finals, things practically did a complete one-eighty on the spot when he experienced something he had truly been missing: victory. The realization that he was standing at the very top, above everyone he walked-over in order to reach that precipice of glory. It made him feel like he had some kind of purpose, as cliché as it sounded. The struggle and grind that he had gone through to reach that point made everything feel so real, so… fulfilling.
"Coming to Magnolia just felt like the logical choice considering how many stars this program has produced over the years. Plus I heard Gajeel was going here, too. He and I were on opposing teams back in high school and he was arguably the toughest guy to play against back then. Teaming up with him felt like it was going to be fun."
Lucy hummed as she listened on to Erik's tale continue; how they went on to win the college championship in their freshman year, back when Jellal was still spearheading their offence as a Shooting Guard. The blonde wasn't really aware of the team's history aside from what had been happening during the current year, so to find out that Erik was actually a college champion once, regardless of the fact that he and Gajeel were benchwarmers for the better part of the season, was pretty surprising to her.
"What about Natsu?" She asked, genuinely curious, "He told me he joined in the middle of the season?"
"Yup. Pretty much before winter break, I think. Sometime around then." Erik chuckled to himself as the memory replayed itself in its head. When Lucy gave him an inquiring look, he ventured to explain. "See, Natsu and Gray's situation was similar to mine and Gajeel's. Natsu had just come off taking it all in the inter-high. They faced off against Gray's team and ended up winning. Wasn't really a landslide, but not what you'd consider close either."
"Did something happen between them?" she asked, stifling a laugh. "I mean I understand you and Gajeel got along fine-"
Erik let out a sharp laugh at this. "You underestimate how immature we were back then, Lucy."
"You mean you didn't get along?"
"Is that really so surprising?"
"I just figured since you guys are friends now and stuff, maybe things were the same back then?"
"Oh hell no," Erik replied, trying his hardest to stifle his laughter. He'd learned very early in his life that being loud in a hospital was kind of like being loud in a library – some old bat was going to start hissing at you from a random corner to shut the hell up. "The dude looked like he was going to strangle me half the time we were outside the court, and on-court I was lucky if I didn't catch a ball to the face at least once per half."
"Wow," Lucy said, bursting into a fit of laughter, "I never thought Gajeel was such a sore loser."
"Eeeeeh…" The male rubbed the back of his head while snickering rather deviously, "when you're constantly reminded of that loss, anyone would lose their cool."
"…you are evil."
"So they tell me," he laughed. "But yeah, Natsu and Gray's situation was pretty much the same. Though Natsu didn't really come to FTU to join the basketball team. Wait… now that I think about it I don't even know why he enrolled here in the first place. I know he wanted to get away from home, just not exactly sure why here in particular."
"So why didn't he join the team from the start?" she asked. "Clearly he's in a league of his own on the court, so why-"
"He was settling in," Erik explained. "Natsu moved out from his dad's and rented out an apartment by himself on a runaway corner in town. He was paying the full college tuition, too, so to manage the upkeep for all of that he was juggling two jobs at a time. Basketball took the back seat when survival was concerned. It was understandable."
"But he still joined," the blonde stated. "How'd that happen?"
"Don't ask me, I haven't the foggiest," Erik replied with a shrug. "We got Gray to go talk to him. The guy was initially very against Natsu joining – you know, the whole he beat me in the finals thing played a part in that."
"Which you undoubtedly never ceased to remind him of."
"Naturally," he said, scoffing as she chuckled. "Gray couldn't deny that Natsu was a great player, though. So eventually the guy came 'round and talked to him, got him to join."
"And you don't know how that happened?"
"No idea. They never talked about it so we stopped asking."
"Huh…" Lucy hummed, trying to think of what the reason for that could have been as the time they spent waiting next to Warrod's office stretched on and on without their notice.
"Y'know…" Erik began, a small smile on his face as he once again treaded down memory lane. "I didn't really like Natsu when he joined. Hell, I pretty much hated him."
"Now that I find hard to believe," Lucy replied. "You two are like the Sherlock and Watson of idiocy. I couldn't imagine you hating each other."
"I'm obviously Sherlock."
"Of course."
"Yup," Erik confirmed, groaning as he stretched his arms and legs. "He just… Natsu just seemed too careless to me back then. He joined the team, yeah? But it seemed like he didn't give a shit about what was going on. He didn't show up to team practice, barely ever came to team meetings, never watched any vids with us before a game. It just wasn't working with him, y'know?" He paused. "That, and…"
"And?" she inquired, glancing at him curiously.
"And it pissed me off that someone as talented as him would sit idly by, wasting his potential."
"So you were jealous," Lucy said, grinning slyly when Erik responded with a half-glare.
"No!... yes," he sighed. "Wouldn't you be? I mean, come on. Here comes a guy who's clearly better than you, and instead of further cultivating his skills he just sits on his ass and does nothing?"
"That is pretty sound reasoning, I have to admit."
"Right?" A breath left his throat. "I gave him a lot of shit about it back then, too. You know how it is with hazing. Gotta make the freshies suffer just as much as we did."
"I find that hard to picture."
"Yeah? Imagine Natsu and Gray hoisted up on a flagpole 'cause they forgot to bring Laxus his lunch."
Lucy found that it was indeed better to stay quiet inside a hospital when she burst out laughing. The glares she received were borderline venomous, "You're serious?"
"It took me a whole hour before I got them off the damn thing. An hour!" he exclaimed, waving his hands. "God forbid I see a freshman forgetting to bring Natsu his lunch now. The kid would be handed off to science class as a guinea pig. First freshman to step foot on the moon! That'd be a sight."
"Anyway, one night I found myself bored out of my mind. Decided to go over to Clive Center to put up some shots. We'd been given keys to the place and passwords to all the alarms so we could get some after-hours practice in if we wanted."
"Natsu told me something about that," Lucy said.
"Yeah. It's something of a tradition here," he nodded. "So I get there, right? And the place wasn't locked up, nor were the alarms prepped. I go into the gym and imagine my reaction when I see Natsu there. The guy was sweating like a pig, dozens of basketballs around him. He was practicing his dribble, his shots, played mental one-on-ones, things like that. It surprised me, at first, but then I found out Natsu often did things like that."
"Explain."
"Well he couldn't really show up to practice 'cause he was working and stuff. What little time he didn't spend at work or sacrifice for class he spent improving himself at the gym," Erik said with a snort. "Mavis, I was an idiot. Should've known that basket brain would be doing something like that. I approached him, apologized, got to know him better, all of that stuff. We started hanging more, practicing together. Since I had a car I was able to get him home faster. It helped him manage his time more efficiently since he lived about an hour from campus, if you took the bus or train. Eventually we'd gotten so good people started calling us the best duo FTU had seen in years."
"That…" Lucy paused before continuing, "that sounds like a high standard to live up to."
"Trust me, it was," Erik confirmed. "The media was all over us in a heartbeat. You wouldn't think it now, but college basketball is pretty damn popular in Fiore. The players… while we aren't League-player levels of fame, we're apparently pretty famous. Anyhow, that season ended up in our favor. We faced off against Tartaros," Erik couldn't help pausing at the mention of the school, his eyes instinctively looking around to make sure Sayla wasn't anywhere close, "in the finals and holy crap were they a strong team. We barely won, to be perfectly honest with you, but in the end we got that damn trophy."
"So you actually won it all," Lucy said with a smile, trying to imagine what Natsu looked like when they won. The smile on his face… Lucy thought she likely hadn't seen him smile like that. Ever. Maybe never would, considering the direction their relationship had been taking recently.
"You mean you didn't know?" Erik questioned, surprised. She shook his head as a response and Erik couldn't help the short laugh that left his throat, "Geez, woman. What rock were you living under?"
"And next year?" the blonde suddenly asked, once again piquing the male's curiosity. "How'd that go?"
Erik wasn't oblivious to how Lucy dodged the question. Being what one would call the mediator in the team, he was inherently required to possess good people-analysis skills. That was part of the reason why Natsu and himself managed to forge and maintain a friendship in the first place. The pinket wasn't someone who easily disclosed information in regards to himself, so it was up to Erik to read into the guy to find out what was going on in his life.
It seemed as though a very similar approach was necessary for Lucy, and while he did consider himself as her friend, Erik thought better than to poke his nose into her business. Especially after the shit he'd stepped in with her mom. He'd leave that to Natsu – a thought that he hoped would actually come true.
Speaking of Natsu...
"Wait, what time is it?" he asked.
"Uhh," Lucy stammered as she fished out her phone, "Two-forty. Why?"
Several veryexplicit words left the redhead's lips, "I got class in twenty minutes. Class I really can't afford to skip more than I already have," he explained, feeling tired just from the thought. "You mind if I head out first?"
"Oh, yeah. Sure. Go ahead. I'll make sure he doesn't do anything stupid," Lucy replied, offering him a small smile.
"You sure?" he asked, slightly surprised. "I mean, the two of you aren't really on good terms and all that, as I recall. I wouldn't mind staying." She shook her head.
"No, it's fine. Really. Before he passed out Natsu said something about wanting to hang out and talk anyway, so I'm pretty sure we'll be going somewhere. If he's okay."
"Well, alright. If you say so," he said. "Thanks. And don't worry, he'll be fine. Natsu's gotten his head cracked open both proverbially and literally so many times it makes me question how the damn thing's still on his shoulders," he said, grinning when she giggled. "Also, Lucy?"
"Yes?" she hummed, looking up at him.
"Do go easy on him, yeah? I know Natsu can be a handful sometimes, but he's trying."
"I'll keep that in mind," she said, chuckling.
"Oh, right, before I forget. Listen, can you," he fished out the bottle of iced-tea he snatched from the nurses station, "give this to him? I intended to drink it myself, but completely forgot about it while I was talking. I'll just get some more on campus."
"Sure."
"Thanks," he said. He then gave her a salute and made his way back to his car and campus.
Lucy, on the other hand, remained in the hospital. She waited for about ten more minutes before she was finally called into the office by Warrod's gruff, yet at the same time soft-spoken, voice.
"You may come in."
"How is he?" Lucy asked as she came through the door, worried eyes darting between the stretcher-seated Natsu who had a bandage around his head and the doctor who was comfortably resting on his own chair.
"I'm fine, Lucy," Natsu said, giving the girl a wave and a smile.
"Light it may be, but a concussion hardly constitutes fine. You're like a walking bundle of idiocy, Natsu, I swear," the doctor chided, rubbing his eyelids tiredly as he tapped his fingers against a device similar to an iPad – likely hospital-issued to access medical records portably - scrolling through what appeared to be an extensive list.
"Tell me something I don't know, doc," The pinket replied with a roll of his eyes, causing the blonde who was approaching him to chuckle somewhat nervously.
"Here. Erik left this as a get-well… thing?" she said, somewhat unsure herself as she handed him the small bottle of tea.
Natsu blinked several times, clear confusion evident in his eyes as he took the offered item.
"Thanks? What's he doing here anyway? I mean, he's not with you?"
"Left. Had class. He got us here after you blacked out," Lucy replied. Giving him a quick once over, she tilted her head with some worry. "Don't you remember?"
"Not a bit," Natsu said with a shrug as he pushed the offered item against the side of his head. The contact ended up making him wince when the lamppost-obliterating-projectile pulsated with pain.
"Is…" The blonde turned to Warrod. "Is he going to be alright?"
The older male scratched his chin in thought, deliberating over the highlighted date in Natsu's medical record.
"As I said, the concussion was light – nothing too serious," he explained, drawing some form of relief from both the blonde and pinket at the revelation. "However I'd highly advise sitting out the next game-"
"I'm playing," Natsu declared suddenly, interrupting the physician mid-sentence. The unusual amount of determination in his voice surprised even Lucy, yet Warrod only sighed, having already expected this.
"I figured as much," he stated as he rubbed his face again. "Alright. I'll let you play, but only if you promise me bedrest until then." Warrod glanced over his shoulder to check the calendar hanging loosely above his desktop. "You still have several days until the match. If you take it easy you should have plenty of time to recover by then."
"Fuckin' A," Natsu said, grinning at the older male who snorted in response.
Lucy, on the other hand, didn't seem as convinced, "Are you sure you can't sit this one out? Better safe than sorry, right? It's only one game, too…"
"It's the game, Luce," Natsu said, acknowledging her worries with a smile yet decidedly pursuing his choice nonetheless. "We're playing Sabertooth next. I absolutely can't miss this game."
Lucy didn't need to recognize the adamancy of his tone or the strength beneath his gaze to realize what that one singular statement meant. As soon as she was told who their next opponent was she simply smiled at the pinket.
"I'll be there," she said.
"You better be," he replied, offering her a grin.
"Alright, you two. Get out of here. I have other patients to check up on," Warrod said with a wave of his hand, motioning towards the door.
"Thanks, doc. Really," Natsu said as Lucy helped him to his feet.
"How about you stop thanking me and just keep yourself from getting hurt? I know that's a tall order for you, but it would make both your and my days much less stressful."
"Noted."
"Thank you, doctor," Lucy added. Warrod nodded his farewell as the duo made their way outside the hospital and straight for the bus stop. Just as Natsu had said, the two of them needed to talk, and they knew only one place that could give them some peace and quiet at this time of the day.
Eclipse.
The familiar guitar strums from Morning Ridersby The Temperance Movement made Natsu's ears tingle in delight as they found their way inside. Natsu held the door for Lucy as a smile took over him at the sight of the all too familiar interior.
"Mavis, this place alone makes me want to get a drink," Natsu said, shaking his head with that smile still very much intact.
Lucy glanced at him over her shoulder, "Wouldn't that… you know?"
Natsu rolled his eyes, "FYI, I'm not an alcoholic, Luce. It's not like I get cravings or withdrawals when I don't drink."
"Can't this be considered a craving though?" she asked, turning to him fully. He thought about it for a second.
"Fair point," he said. Was he actually addicted to alcohol? It wasn't like he drank just to drink anymore. It was a coping mechanism at one time or another for him. A coping mechanism he managed to shed relatively easily. "Naw. I'm good," he said. "think I have a few more benders in me before I can't let go of the bottle anymore."
"That's not funny," Lucy said, giving him a disapproving look.
The pinket shrugged before making his way to the bar. His onyx eyes darted around, looking for familiar faces he could try avoiding. Only a few visitors were present, some in couples, others in small groups of friends huddled around their tables of which the selection was wide during this time of day.
"Welcome to Eclipse! What can I get for you- oh, hey Natsu. Lucy." The duo smiled at the approach of Ikaruga who greeted them with a salute, "Fancy seeing the two of you here- what in the hell happened to you this time?" the bartender asked, covering her mouth in an attempt to stifle a laugh at the expense of the bandage on Natsu's forehead.
"Don't ask. Please," the pinket pleaded, his head slumping in defeat.
"Did you smash your head against a wall or something? Geez," she guessed, a grin twisting her lips at how Natsu glared at her.
"That's not that far from the truth, actually," Lucy commented with a chuckle.
"Not you too, Luce!"
Both females ended up snickering at Natsu's expense.
"So, what brings you on this fine day?" She grinned as she focused on Lucy. "Not taking after his habits are you?"
"Real subtle there, Ruga," Natsu said.
"No, not at all." the blonde replied, giggling. "We're just hanging out. Nothing too fancy."
Ikaruga hummed, clearly curious, yet she decidedly kept what questions she had to herself. She was privy to the situation between the would-be couple, but figured she might as well let them handle themselves.
"Well, the two armchairs in the corner are free. You need the menus?"
"It would be appreciated," Lucy confirmed.
"Alright. There you go." She gave them one each. "Get yourselves sorted and I'll be with you in a second. Need anything on the spot?"
"Coffee. The usual," Natsu said.
"A latte for me," Lucy added.
"Any preference?"
Lucy thought about it for a second, "Hazelnut."
"Coming right up!"
As they sat down at their designated seats, Lucy turned to Natsu, "See, even she's calling you an alcoholic."
"She's a bartender, for Mavis' sake. The fuck did you expect?" he defended, making the blonde laugh lightly.
The song was promptly changed to Theory of a Deadman's Easy to Love You by Ikaruga, to which the reply was a feral glare from Natsu. Luckily for him Lucy was completely oblivious to the music as her eyes were gazing at the many guitars hung on the bar's walls, some of them having been signed by famous guitar players.
"Woah. I knew they had a lot of decorations here, but I never really noticed just how much," she said, seemingly mesmerized.
Natsu chuckled, "Yeah. I think they have one signed by Jimi Hendrix, too. A guitar, I mean."
"Wait, seriously?"
"Yeah," he said, laughing at her bewildered reaction. "An original, too. Precht's old as shit like that. Keeps it in his office. Way too valuable to hang out in the open, you know?"
"I can't really blame him," she said, smiling, "if I had one I'd likely put fifteen locks on it."
"And a bitchin' Umbrella Corporation-like laser defense mechanism," Natsu agreed.
The next five minutes the couple spent in relative silence, waiting on their coffee. It was awkward to say the least. The conversations which felt long overdue were also the ones that were the most difficult to start, much less fully follow through with. Even when they received their hot beverages they sat in silence and simply enjoyed the taste for a bit. Eventually, however, as it so often happened, Natsu got fed up with the awkward silence and decided to break the ice.
"So…" he began, yet quickly found that Lucy had a very similar idea to his.
"How have you been?" she asked suddenly, making the basketball player raise a brow.
"How have I been, huh...?" He breathed out solemnly, thinking back on the days spent after his supposed apology to the girl when he was done staring down her taser-wielding roommate. Now that was something he'd rather forget altogether. "I've been alright, all things considered," he said, purposefully leaving out the fact that he wasn't at all holding it together. Natsu knew that Lucy was the type of person who would blame herself if he admitted that he felt like shit. And it was his cross to bear as he did bring this on himself. "You?"
"I've been better," she admitted, her eyes glancing out the window to the sun-reflecting river next to them. "Things have been… strange recently," she explained. "In between classes, work, and all of these other things I've just felt like my life has been so disorganized lately."
"Like nothing's in your control anymore?" he asked, giving her a half-smile as she made eye-contact with him.
"Exactly," she agreed with a nod of her head. It was peculiar how different yet at the same time very similar their situations were. The funniest thing about this whole mess was that it didn't come about by means of external forces. Natsu and Lucy were the ones who created these circumstances and at times it felt stupid how they were the ones making things difficult for themselves.
"Yeah, I can relate," Natsu said, taking a sip out of his coffee.
"Say…" she suddenly began, the blatant carefulness in her voice making him think she was navigating a minefield while in conversation with him. "Is it true you've been having panic attacks?"
Natsu blinked once. Twice. Thrice. Until eventually the question registered in his brain and something inside him clicked. Aw, fuck, he thought, feeling the need for some kind of gesture to emphasize how tired he was, yet at the same time realizing he couldn't do as such.
"Yeah," he confirmed, deciding to keep it simple.
Lucy very subtly tilted her head to the side, examining the pinket. The usual cheerfulness and laid back attitude that she had known him for had all but evaporated in the past month or so. Instead he seemed tense, less sure of himself. That alone was enough to tell her that something was off beyond the issues they had with one another. But she had never expected it to go to a stage where he would have genuine anxiety. Natsu Dragneel was literally the last person one would expect to have such issues, hence why this entire ordeal came as such a shock.
"How bad were they, if I may ask?" she said. Natsu noticed the shred of guilt in both her voice and the way she turned to look at anything else but him after she spoke. Just as he had thought, Lucy immediately started blaming herself when he confirmed that certain piece of information for her. Gods how he wished he could pummel the idiot who thought telling her was a good idea. It was obvious to everyone who knew either of them that she would blame herself, so why the fuck would anyone be so damn stupid?
"You want the watered down version or the actual one?" he asked, chuckling to himself afterwards as he shook his head. "Who am I kidding? I can't lie to you," he admitted.
Lucy smiled at the confession as she watched him. Despite what they had put each other through, she was glad the two of them could still share a semi-decent and honest conversation. At least that didn't change between them.
"It… it got pretty bad, Luce. Not gonna lie," Natsu said, "That time when I came to see you? You know… after the shitstorm that was that one night at the club?" She nodded. "I was having one when, well, when you hugged me. I thought you realized it and that's why you did what you did."
"I could barely breathe, let alone speak," he began. "When I woke up after what I'd done to you it took me about a week until I could properly talk to anyone, excluding you. No matter how much I hated myself after what I had done to you… to us, you were the only person who I could see myself talking to. The only person I wanted to talk to," a laugh devoid of any type of humor left his lips. "Guess I'm just selfish that way."
Lucy didn't say anything. She simply listened and tried to understand. Tried to put herself in his shoes. He explained how he took anxiety medicine and later decided to once again go cold turkey and survive on his own, how it took everything he had not to seem weak in front of others, and how he had become forcefully addicted to basketball again in order to sort himself out. She remained silent throughout. Lucy realized she didn't need to say anything. It just wasn't necessary as Natsu was filling her in on what's been up – the lives they led after Tenrou were completely foreign to them now, and she realized that these weren't only his confessions, but perhaps his way of bringing her up to speed so they could resume the friendship they had before.
"When did they start? The panic attacks?" She finally asked, breaking her silence when Natsu had grown quiet, taking a pause to collect his thoughts. No matter how much she wanted to know what had been going on in his life these past couple of weeks, her worry for his well-being overshadowed her curiosity. That wouldn't really come as a surprise to anyone.
"You mean in my entire life?" he asked, and she nodded. "Anxiety hit me somewhere around my last year of high school, panic attacks began last year," he said. "The anxiety I could handle. It wasn't anything too bad. Stopped when I moved to Magnolia anyway. But when the attacks started was when shit got… bad."
"What caused them?" she asked.
"Geez, Luce. I thought we were here to talk. Feels like I'm being interrogated right now," he said, half-joking. Natsu knew that he would have to fess up about shit that he really didn't want to talk about. But damn, just the thought of it pissed him off as he was forced to remember times when he was weak. Beyond weak. Pathetic even.
"Sorry, it's just that I hardly really know anything about you, if you think about it," she reasoned. "I mean, you've never told me anything about yourself. All I know is what other people tell me."
A gruff sigh left Natsu's throat, feeling the sting in her words, "I… yeah. I guess you're right. I never did really talk about any of it." He nodded. "And that's because, if I'm gonna be completely one hundred with you, this is just difficult to talk about."
Natsu paused, collecting his thoughts so he could properly retell the story. On Lucy's part, the blonde simply waited, tasting her coffee as she watched him with a feeling of inquiry. She knew this was hard on Natsu – he had made it plenty obvious in the past. But being this close to someone – regardless of what happened between them in the past – and barely knowing where they were coming from was just as hard.
"Well, I guess it started when last year began," he began, "Erik and I had just come off of a championship. Man, I can't tell you how fucking amazing that felt. I couldn't even begin to describe it. Winning a high school championship was one thing – especially since I got to dunk on that stripping cunt Gray – but winning the college league, and in my freshman year? Damn. That's a feeling I likely won't ever forget," he explained, a smile making his lips twitch upwards at the memory. "That's kinda when I met my ex, Flare," he said and blinked several times as realization struck him. He turned to Lucy. "You might know her, actually. Flare Corona? She was in StuCo. Dropped out a couple of months before graduating."
"Flare… where have I… oh! The weird event coordinator, right?"
Natsu bit back a laugh, "I guess that's one way of looking at her, yeah," he said, chuckling. "She was the event coordinator then too. After we won she hosted this huge-ass party for us. Since I was still working here," he motioned all around himself, "she asked if I could talk to Precht, see how much it would cost to rent the entire place out."
"Then what?"
"What you'd normally expect, to be honest," Natsu admitted. "We started talking more and more about the party and I ended up helping her host the damn thing. I think that was the first time I was here as a client, actually. Anyway, since then we started talking to each other more, hanging out, things like that. Flare was something of an addict to parties. Every other Friday you'd see her either at Eclipse or Tenrou, sometimes both places in the same evening. Being bored over the summer weekends I ended up tagging along. One thing led to another and we were in for a very awkward one night stand. Or, well, that's what we thought it was going to be… waking up in someone else's room with my head inside a bucket filled with I don't even want to fucking knowwasn't one of my finest moments."
Listening too intently for her own good, Lucy almost choked at the image of Natsu hunched over with his head inside a bucket, snoring away absentmindedly, "Oh my God," she said, trying to compose herself, "that… Seriously?"
"Yup," he said, stifling a laugh. "Suffice it to say I had a little too much to drink that night."
"Not really surprising."
"Oh, hey. She has jokes now," Natsu replied, snorting at her giggle. "Anyway, long story short we got together after that. Kinda felt right at the time, y'know? Since StuCo took over organizing home games for us I saw her more or less every day, so we kind of, I'unno… guess you could say we clicked," he smiled. "I can still remember her yelling at freshmen or people outside uni dragging mud into the gym. Couldn't really blame her though – it was annoying as balls."
"She sounds like a good person… at least I get that from the way you've been talking about her," Lucy said, noticing how often Natsu had cracked a smile.
"She was… or rather I guess you could say I thought she was. I still have no idea. Everything became kind of a blur when Zeref moved into town."
"Your brother?" Lucy asked with a raised brow, remembering the… conversation she had with him when he appeared practically out of nowhere next to her doorstep before the night everything went to shit. She could tell the guy was an odd one and wanted to tell the pinket about it, but she decided to first find out what he had to say about his sibling, "What happened?"
A very distraught breath left Natsu's mouth at the memory of his older brother. These were memories he would have definitely rather kept the lid on.
"What you have to understand about my brother, Lucy, is that he was – is – a maniac," he explained, finding it difficult to talk about him. He had spent so much time trying to block these memories out… having to talk about them again made him regret this conversation altogether, but he knew he needed to explain things to her, "Just talking about him makes my skin crawl."
"To understand my brother – well, to try to understand him, anyway – you need to know some stuff about our childhood," he explained, glancing at her with some mirth. "The way my mother died… he blames me for it. Hell, I blame myselffor it." Natsu took yet another second to compose himself.
"Back when we were kids we lived about forty miles outside Magnolia – in the countryside. My dad still lives there. We used to play on the streets a lot and stuff – no cars were around anyway since it was such a remote area. It was your typical small-time village in the middle of fuck-knows-where where everybody knew everybody, y'know?"
"This one time I was playing football with some of my friends. Zeref was there too – it was his job to look after me since he was the older brother, as the adage goes. He was reading a book. Something by Shakespeare, I think. I can't recall. Anyway, the ball got kicked way out of the field and without really looking I ran to get it back… Mavis, I should've just left the damn ball and minded my own fucking business."
"There was some fog, too, so I couldn't see the headlights until they were right up in my face screaming fuck you in particular. The driver hadn't noticed in time to hit the brakes either, and my brother was too into his damn book to notice where I had gone. Or if I had gone," he looked up at the blonde, giving a somewhat melancholic smile her way when he noticed an expression that screamed I'm so sorry, Natsu…"It should've been me, Luce. Ishould've been the one hit by that stupid fucking car. But… my mother, I… I still don't fucking know how she got there. But she did. Before I knew what the fuck happened I was pushed out of the way and ended up hitting my head against the pavement and passing out. When I came to I was already in the hospital and, well… mom wasn't there anymore."
"Gods, Natsu, I…" Lucy croaked out, feeling like she was about to burst into a volley of sobs.
Noticing this, Natsu gave her a half-smile.
"It's okay, Luce. It's been years since then. Do I miss my mother? Every day, night, and whatever the fuck else there is. But I'm fine now. Honestly." He took a sip from his coffee, noticing that he had talked for so long it started getting cold, "My dad took it the hardest out of all three of us, I think. He never really was the same again. He kind of… forgot all about us, y'know? I remember you saying that when your mother died your father forgot that you were hurt as well?" She nodded. "Well it was pretty much the same situation here. He shut off. Left us to do whatever the hell we wanted."
"And your brother?"
"He… I don't know. Before he went batshit crazy my brother was actually one of the kindest people I'd ever met. He took after our mother, after all. Was kind of a wimp, now that I think about it. So when something cracked inside him… he was like a different person," Natsu explained. "Never stopped blaming me for it. Promised that I would suffer as much as he and our dad did... as much as she did. Since then he's made my life pretty much a living 3D-realistic fucking hell. He'd find ways to mess with me – often painfully. I can't even recall how many times he'd done something that almost got me killed, to be honest."
"But… what about your father?" Lucy asked, her mind struggling to imagine a scenario where any father would remain ignorant to this, no matter how lost he was. Even her father wouldn't let anyone hurt her, despite his own actions that to anyone else would've stated the contrary.
"He saw all of it," Natsu confirmed, nodding. "And I've no idea what he thought. He probably justified it in his own head. That's what he did before I left. As years went by Zeref's shit just kept getting worse and worse, but my dad never really could do anything about it, or so he said. We were both his children and he said he loved us equally." Natsu grimaced. "That's the reason I left home as soon as I was done with high school. I just couldn't stay there anymore."
"And with Flare?"
"With Flare… When Zeref moved in to Magnolia he had established himself in the media. Apparently he'd gotten some form of communication degree during the year that I wasn't home – don't ask me how, as far as I know the guy paid someone off and is riding on false credentials. Bottom line - he was hired. He started out digging up random bullshit about me and spreading it all around the news. A lot of people thought I was going to shoot for the League Draft after a back-to-back championship, so that was intended to hurt my chances of getting in."
"Did it?"
"I never tried it, but oh yeah. It would have. Massively." Natsu rolled his eyes. "I swear Facebook was brighter with buzz than our Milky Way in space with all the media attention I was getting. Not to mention that Zeref managed to actually spin everything so damn believably… hell, even Erik had to double-check with me on some facts. That was fucking annoying. But to be honest I didn't pay too much attention to it. I just played ball and did my own thing."
"Is that it?"
"I wish," he said, giving a sharp hah at the question. "When my brother realized the approach he took wasn't exactly working, he tried something different. He, uhh…" Natsu cut himself off abruptly, his face contorting in a way Lucy very rarely witnessed.
"He what?" She asked, seemingly on the edge of her seat. While it was crippling to hear such things happening between siblings – not to mention Natsu, of all people – she was still interested. More than she ever thought she'd be.
"Ah, fuck it. No easy way to say it anyway. He violated her, Luce," Natsu said with a ghastly voice, making her eyes go as wide as dinner plates. He inhaled a deep breath. "I had actually begun thinking of proposing to this woman, y'know? Not like right then and there or anything like that, but after she graduated, which was supposed to be that exact year." He rubbed his temples, trying to get back on track. "Anyway, one night I got a text from an unknown number. Said it was from Flare, apparently she wanted to see me in some out of the way bar I hadn't been in yet. Supposedly they had some new shots we hadn't tried."
"That… sounds shifty," Lucy said.
"You're telling me. I didn't think anything of it at the time, though – Flare was what you would call a connoisseur of alcohol. If something new was on the menu – anywhere – she had to try it. It was fun. Stupid as fuck, but still fun. In any case, I get to that bar, and I can't see her anywhere. I decided to call her, try to find out what the fuck was going on. Before I could, though, I see my brother, smiling at me as he walks out of the restroom. I still regret not smashing a bar stool over his head at that precise moment. Would do it too, if I had the chance to turn back time." He glared at nothing in particular. "Over and over. And over. And over." A sigh left him. "When I got the stomach to check the restroom, lo and behold, there she was. My girlfriend, who I thought about marrying, trying her best to clean another man's semen off her fucking clothes. I just wanted to set that entire shitshow of a place on fire, honestly."
"That…" Lucy cut herself off. The image that Natsu described played itself in her mind's eye like a movie and she couldn't help but find herself not only disgusted by the entire scene, but feeling an immense amount of pity for the pinket. "I… I don't even know what to say. That's a lot to take in."
"You don't have to say anything, Luce. Just let me finish," he said. "Might as well finish the story till the end, right?" She nodded at his words, prompting him to continue. "So after I saw what I saw, I just ran out. I don't know, I felt so angry and betrayed I couldn't think straight. I just wanted to find that bastard and break him until he wasn't breathing anymore. I would've killed him. I'm not even exaggerating when I say I would've murdered him in cold blood and not felt a single shred of regret. After all of it went down, I just… I just shut down. Kind of like our father did, I guess. I couldn't tell right from wrong anymore. Hell, I didn't even want to wake up in the morning, let alone go outside and see people. The woman I loved, and thought loved me back just as much, had just been fucked by my older brother and I honestly didn't know how to take that."
"Did you try talking to her?" Lucy questioned, despite how stupid it sounded. "This whole situation just seems off. I mean, why would she send the text message to begin with?"
"Fuck knows. As far as I knew this likely wasn't the first time she'd fucked somebody before meeting with me in the first place and my brother simply used her to his advantage so he could mess with me. He probably lasted longer than she thought he would, who the fuck knows? I don't, and frankly I don't care. She dropped out a few weeks after it all happened so it wasn't like I could really talk to her even if I wanted to anyway. Not sure why. It wasn't like I really told anyone what happened - besides Erik. I still had some shred of respect for her despite myself and didn't want to ruin her life like she ruined mine by telling everyone what happened, regardless of what she did to me. Haven't seen her since."
"Is that… when the panic attacks started happening?"
"Right you are." He nodded. "It was just… having someone you thought was the onebetray you like that, it… it made it difficult for me to trust anyone. I started thinking everyone was against me – the bullshit media didn't help with that either. So I started drinking. And drinking. And drinking. When that wasn't helping anymore I started sleeping around. Not something I'm proud of, but at the time I couldn't see any other relief. Then Erik forced me to focus on basketball. I don't know how he does it, but he always seems to find the right way to handle things. Then again me being me I took things to the extremes and ended up fracturing my fucking ankle and we lost last year's game. Fast forward a couple of months and you arrive at this year," he finished before downing the rest of his coffee as though it was symbolic of the conversation.
Lucy, on the other hand, was trying to take everything in. A myriad of thoughts were running in her brain at light speed and she struggled to make sense of it all. No matter what the blonde thought Natsu went through, she never expected anything like this. A mother lost, a father that abandoned him, a brother that was out to ruin his life, and a woman that not only broke his heart but stomped on it and left him to pick up the pieces by himself. It was tragic on too many levels. She never thought things like this happened in the first place. She had a crap childhood herself, that was true, but Natsu's was miles from what she experienced. His was something she thought she'd only see in tragedy movies, for Mavis' sake.
What she did know, however, was that she was going to hold out on telling him about Zeref talking to her. She'd tell him, just not at this particular moment. He didn't need even more of a reason to resent his brother.
"And there you have it," Natsu suddenly said, bringing her out of her conflicted thoughts almost as though he realized she was struggling. "The mysterious pastof Natsu SalamanderDragneel – who everybody wanted to hang with, might I add – all out into the open. Gods it felt strange talking about this."
"Natsu, I-"
"It's a relief, though," he quickly interjected before she could finish her sentence, confusing her with the statement. "I've honestly never really told anyone about this. Talking to someone, it… despite bringing back some pretty horrible memories, it feels like a weight off my shoulders." I've been learning that a lot lately, too, he thought, but left that part out.
"First of all," Lucy began after a few minutes, tripping over her own words while trying to phrase this properly, "I just wanted to say that you're probably the strongest person I've met, Natsu. To be able to handle this, regardless of what means you used, and to come out of it relatively emotionally stable, it's… astounding."
"Emotionally stable? Have you met me?" he said, chuckling as she glared at him.
"You know what I mean. Shut up, I'm trying here," she borderline growled, enlarging his smile as a result.
"I know, Luce. I know. Thank you," he said softly, letting his head slump down ever so slightly.
"Second…" She breathed out, outstretching her arm to take his hand into hers. "I don't care what your brother said, what happened to your mother was not your fault."
Natsu's eyes widened as the words left her mouth. He stared at the ground, fighting to find the words to formulate a reply.
"Aw, shit," he said with what was clearly raw emotion. He knew Lucy was going to say something, anything, and he was aware of the fact that whatever she said it would hit him harder than anyone else possibly could. But to say something about his mother? Even when he revealed all this other crap to her? He didn't know what to think or feel, let alone what to say. "I… Thanks, Luce. Really," he managed to croak out, giving her hand a squeeze as their fingers intertwined. Lucy smiled and replied with the very same gesture.
"I, uhh… listen," she began, drawing his attention, "I can't really fix anything that happened to you in the past."
"You don't really need to though..."
"Hush," the blonde commanded, drawing a hastily mouthed okay from the basketball player. "As I was saying, I can't really make the past right, but I can help you with what's happening right now." Natsu raised an eyebrow at this, but remained quiet. "You and Erik… you two have been on the ropes lately, haven't you?"
Whatever he was expecting, it wasn't this. This feud between him and his roommate seemed so insignificant in the grand scheme of things he couldn't help but roll his eyes, "Come on, Lucy. Really?"
"Yes, really," she said adamantly. "So, I was thinking… how about we have dinner at… I don't know, your place? Tomorrow? You and I, Erik and Kagura."
"What, like a double date?"
"Yes… yeah. I guess you could call it that," she paused, collecting the courage to ask what had been on her mind ever since earlier in the afternoon. "But aren't you seeing that other girl, though?"
This caught him off-guard.
"What? Who? Dimaria? No!" he defended, flabbergasted. "Did you seriously come here with me thinking I was dating some other girl?"
"At the end of the day I'm your friend, right?" the female stated-asked, giving him a very serious look. "Even if you were seeing her that doesn't change that about us, does it?"
"No… I guess it doesn't," he admitted, smiling for what he considered his own selfish reasons.
"Besides," she added, a sigh leaving her. "You went weeks thinking I was seeing Loke, so I'd say justice has been served."
This took a moment for Natsu's brain to wrap around.
"Wait… Mavis, I've been saying that way too fucking often lately. You're not seeing him?"
"He's a friend, Natsu. Just a friend."
He'd be lying if he said he didn't feel a massive amount of relief wash over him when she said this.
"…knowing how you are with friends, it makes sense why you looked like you were about to murder me when I almost took his head off."
"You did kind of deserve it."
"Touché…" He sighed, thinking things over, purposefully ignoring the fact that they were still holding hands in order keep her in his grip a tad bit longer. "Alright. I'm in. Let's do this," he said, smiling.
"Perfect. Eight PM?"
"Works for me," he grinned before something hit him. "Wait – again - how the fuck did you know something was up between Erik and me?"
"Oh, you know… boys talk to boys, boys talk to girls, and girls talk to girls. It's a vicious cycle, trust me."
"People, man. Fucking people."
