Hello :D. Just wanted to say a huge thank-you as always to everyone who read and reviewed the last chapter, it's so lovely to get such positive feedback. Sorry this story is moving so slowly at the moment, I hope that doesn't bother anyone, but let me know if it does. I hope you all like this chapter, please leave me a review to let me know what you think, and I should have the next one up within the week!


Dougie sat on a shabby beige sofa, in a room through the back of the flat, Veronica sat down next to him with the music from the party pounding through the walls. Dougie brought a cigarette to his lips and lit it, waiting in anticipation for something to happen. Veronica had told him it would take half an hour for the Magic Stars to kick in, a point in time they were fast approaching, but that once they did it would be intense. Veronica had taken him out into the back room, telling him that it would be best for the pills to kick in and for Dougie to have a chance to get used to it before re-joining the party.

"Are you feeling it yet?" Veronica asked, her mouth twisted into a smile as she stretched her arms out, staring at her hands, "I think I'm coming up."

Almost as if on cue, as soon as Veronica spoke, Dougie felt his chest fluttering, like his heart was beating too fast for his body to handle. He was about to start panicking when another wave hit him, calming him instantly, feeling like every inch of his skin was being soothed. As he looked around the mostly bare room, he couldn't help but smile, his jaw pulling back of its own accord. The dim light of the room tinged with orange as his eyes opened wider, taking in every bit of light they could, wanting to see as much as physically possible. He looked back at Veronica, seeing trails sparkle off her hands as she moved them, and felt himself laugh slightly, fighting off the urge to reach over and stroke her hair as it glimmered in the light.

"I'll take that as a yes then," She laughed, "What do you think?"

"It's… amazing," Dougie said, feeling the words in his mouth before he spoke, tasting their shape, "It's like everything is the same, but different, and better and prettier, and… I didn't know it was possible to feel like this," Dougie rambled, his feelings of ease and euphoria increasing with every word he spoke. He raised his cigarette to his lips, seeing that it had burned down to the end, "Did I smoke that already?" He asked.

"Probably not," Veronica grinned, "They'll do that though, the Magic Stars, they play around with time a little… here, have one of mine," She said, holding open her pack and passing it over.

Dougie took one, smiling. In his current mindset, this was not just Vanessa giving him a cigarette… In his current mindset, a cigarette was not just a cigarette, but a wondrous invention that would fleet between his hand and his mouth in a near perfect exchange, before ceasing to exist at all. In his current mindset, this was a gesture of acceptance; this was her wanting to spend time with him over anyone else at the party. It felt like fate for Dougie to be sat there with her, a kind of magnetism stronger than could be understood by the human mind, drawing him and her together, sucking them into a whirlpool in which they would both cling to the centre. As Dougie thought, his mind formed images out of words, painting landscapes in his minds eye, projecting them out into the room. He lit the cigarette, inhaling it, tasting tobacco in a way he never had done before as the smoke lingered in his mouth.

"I feel so… connected to you," Dougie said, before he even realised what he was saying or how it would sound. He didn't really care; it was true. Or at least, it was in that moment.

"Of course you do, man, we're rolling together," Veronica chuckled, her hand reaching out and landing on Dougie's. As her skin connected with his, Dougie saw little pink fireworks puncturing the orange light of the room, "But I always knew there was something about you, from the first time we met, you seemed… different. I had to roll with you to know though, you know?"

"Yeah, yeah I think I do," Dougie nodded, completely entranced in the moment, though not entirely sure what Veronica was saying at all. He knew on some level that he should be questioning things, that Veronica was not the healthiest person for him to pursue, that all this was so far from being him that he had to change himself completely in order to fit, and that, if it really came down to it, he could not. All he could focus on was how happy he felt, the overwhelming swelling of content within his bones, the feeling of belonging in a place he knew he could never really be.

Dougie was so caught up in experiencing the room that it took his a moment to notice the beeping coming from his pocket. Putting two and two together, he slid his phone out, seeing Harry was calling him.

"Oh," Dougie sighed, struck by an internal conflict. It wasn't guilt as such, the Magic Star's overwhelming happiness didn't really allow for that, but there was no anger anymore, no sadness, nothing. In a way, seeing Harry call made Dougie wish he could be there with him. He thought of how connected he felt to Veronica, and imagined how that would feel with someone who he actually shared a connection with in the real world, outside this chemical level. He thought about talking to Harry. He thought about what he would say, about how the words would taste in his mouth, about what Harry could or would say if he knew where Dougie was or what he was doing. Defeated, Dougie silenced the call.

"What's wrong, man?" Veronica asked, reaching her hand out and stroking Dougie's, intertwining her fingers in his.

Dougie left his hand in place even though he knew he shouldn't, the feeling of her skin against his too beautiful not to, "Oh, uh, it's my friends… my band, actually. We're really close, and we had a bit of a, uh, a fight, I guess, earlier today. They don't know I'm here… they wouldn't really approve of this," He gabbled.

"Are they worried about you?" Veronica asked.

"Maybe…. Probably, I guess. I haven't been doing that well lately… and they like to make sure I'm okay," Dougie said.

"You should call them back," Veronica said, lighting two cigarettes and handing one across to Dougie, "If you're as tight with them as you say you are, they'll get it."

"Maybe," Dougie sighed, taking the cigarette from Veronica, "I don't know… I think they're getting a bit fed up with me, honestly," he said. Though he knew there was truth in what Veronica was saying. Through the rainbow coloured sugar-coating that the Ecstasy pills were giving everything in his mind, Dougie could just about see sense. However nice it felt to be away, to feel happy, beyond happy even, to feel a connection to someone new, to feel like he was seeing the world through new eyes, Dougie knew that somewhere behind it all, somewhere so hidden he wasn't even quite certain if it was there, Dougie knew what this wasn't right. Nothing here was real… it was all powdered chemicals and orange light, and fireworks that weren't there.

Dougie felt his heart beating in his chest, his ribcage tightening around it, waiting for the tingling sense of numbness to kick in to soothe him. But it didn't, his chest tightened slightly, feeling a split second of panic wash over his body. He wanted the guys, he needed them. He had to call them back.


"Come on, Dougie, pick up the damn phone!" Harry shouted, hanging up on Dougie's voicemail yet again. He and Danny had gone in search round the area, but not found anything that could have led them to Dougie, so they sat back in Tom's living room, drinking tea and making phone calls, hoping that something would happen, or that one of them would have a brainwave of a brilliant idea or plan they could put in place.

Harry thought back to the group therapy session, to when Dougie stormed out, to how he had managed to hold on to his arm, how he could have stopped any of this from happening. He'd had Dougie quite literally in the palm of his hands, and he had let him go. What sort of friend was he, if he could just let Dougie go when he knew he needed him the most? Dougie had needed help, guidance, and instead Harry had essentially just left him to fend for himself. Tom had been right; this was all his fault. How could it not be?

Harry's thoughts of self deprecation were interrupted by the ringing of his phone, breaking the deathly silence, startling everyone in the room.

"Who is it?" Dan asked, as Harry checked the screen.

"It… it's him. It's Doug," Harry replied, shocked as he found himself nervous to talk to Dougie. Harry felt disgusted in himself. How could he be nervous to talk to his best friend?

"Answer it, dude," Tom said, impatient, anxious to see if Dougie was okay.

Harry nodded, gulping down his fear, and clicked the green button, "Hello?"


Fuck, Dougie thought, hearing Harry's worried voice through the crackling phone line. He hadn't thought this through properly. What was he meant to say now? Dougie felt so lost within the crevasses of his own mind that he couldn't think of how he could possibly interact with Harry and have him not suspect anything. Right there and then, all Dougie could think of was how much he missed the guys, how much he loved them, how much he loved everything and everyone in the world. He had never felt so at ease before, and yet he knew it wasn't real. It was a strange and uncomfortable place to be, hanging in the balance between the outward facts, and what felt so real in his body and mind.

"Hi," Dougie said, eventually.

"Where are you? Is everything okay?" Harry asked. His voice sounded different to Dougie, like someone had run it through a tape recorder, slowed it down and then sped it back up again.

"Everything's fine. Better than fine; everything's amazing. I love you, Harry. I love everything and everyone and everything is so, so beautiful," Dougie rambled, unable to stop speaking once he had started.

There was a long pause on the phone line, "Dougie, where are you?" Harry asked, slowly.

"I'm at a party, a couple of streets over, you should totally come, I miss you, dude. I miss all of you," Dougie said, without really realising what he was saying. Even when it did finally register what he had said, the part of Dougie's brain that wanted the guys there with him screamed louder than the part telling him to shut the hell up.

"Dougie, we're going to come there, okay? Now tell me where exactly you are," Harry said, trying to stay calm, trying to not let any of the horrible thoughts of where Dougie might be and what could be happening come through. He knew something was wrong, he could hear it in Dougie's voice, not to mention in what he was saying. Harry tried to convince himself that Dougie was just really drunk, and not one of the far worse possible situations racing through his mind.

Dougie paused for a second, trying his hardest to use any part of his brain not effected by the Ecstasy pill. He couldn't tell Harry where he was; Harry would make him leave, he would drag him away from Veronica, wouldn't he? Or maybe, Dougie thought, maybe he could convince Harry to stay, to bring the guys and hang out at the party with him. Maybe Harry wouldn't even notice he had taken anything.

"Dougie?" Harry said, breaking Dougie's thoughts.

"Oh, yeah, sorry… I'm at 37 Lymington Street, I think," Dougie said, looking over to Veronica, who nodded to confirm the address, "Yeah, 37 Lymington Street."

"Okay, we'll be right there," Harry replied, "Don't do anything silly, okay Doug?" He added.

Dougie tried to suppress a giggle, "See you soon," He said, hanging up the phone.

"See, they were chill, right?" Veronica asked, as Dougie put his phone down on the sofa and lit another cigarette.

"Yeah, I guess," Dougie replied, hoping that Veronica was right.


Harry put the phone down, his hands shaking as he ran through the house, wanting to get to Dougie as soon as he could before anything happened. He was certain Dougie had taken something, and knew it couldn't be safe for him to be on his own, or off with whatever so-called friends he was with. This was his fault. This was all his fault. If he'd done something differently this morning, if he'd just told the others then and there, if he hadn't let Dougie out of the room at the therapy session, if he'd followed him, not left him alone, then none of this would have happened.

"Harry! What happened? Where are you going?" Tom shouted, grabbing on to Harry's arm as he, Danny and Gi ran behind, following Harry to the front door.

"He… he's at some party, he wanted us to go there. But… he's not right, he's on something, I don't know what, but he sounded pretty wasted," Harry said, feeling himself start to panic more as he spoke, his breathing getting quicker.

"We'll come with," Danny said, slipping on his leather jacket as Harry opened the door, "Safety in numbers and all that, mate."

Tom nodded, pushing his feet into a pair of Vans, "Yeah, come on, let's go."


Hope you all liked it, please remember to leave a review, any comments/suggestions/etc are always welcome! Oh, also, I have a Twitter now! If anyone wants to add me, my username is orangepeelpixie. I don't really know anyone who uses Twitter, so I may not tweet all that much, but yeah, come follow me :D.