Waking up the next morning was strange. I suddenly felt like I was carrying some burden, a secret too heavy for my own conscience. But I had sworn to myself last night, and I had sworn to my mother who knows how long ago, and I wasn't about to break a promise, especially not one made to my mother.
My eyes felt heavy and tired as I remembered what I had dreamt of the night before. I placed my hand on my neck, seeing if I could feel the flame marking. No such luck. Apparently, it was just a part of my skin, like an originally shaped birth mark. I wondered if anyone else had anything quite like it.
I rolled out of my warm and comfortable bed, throwing the soft sheet aside. Running my hands through my hair, I made my way over to the bathroom, careful not to wake Lily or Alice as I had woken up a little earlier than usual. Once I gotten to the bathroom, a brushed out my hair with an actually hairbrush rather than my fingers, the caramel highlights shining from the lights on the ceiling, small waves spread throughout it. I moved my hair slightly out of the way so that I could see the black mark on the back of my neck. Yup. Still there. And I had a feeling it wasn't going away anytime soon. I'd just have to deal with it. I decided just to leave my hair down so hopefully no one would even notice it. That too would be part of my giant secret.
Quickly, I did my makeup, just some eyeliner on the top lid and some mascara. Realizing I had forgotten my clothes back in the room, I simply opened the door, envisioned what dress I wanted along with my usual Hogwarts robes and summoned them to me. Hurrying, I got dressed (See picture) I wanted to be gone before my friends woke up. I wanted to eat breakfast alone today, and then I was going to hunt down an empty classroom and play my violin. I hadn't played in a very long time, since I'd been busy with my social life and school. But the need to play was overwhelming, with all the things that were going on. I just wanted to escape from the world, even if it was just for a few minutes during a favourite song.
Tiptoeing out into the room, a put my wand in my one of my cute, knee height, black boots and quietly pulled my violin and music folder out from under my bed.
Rushing down to the common room, out into the corridor, and all the way to the common room, I constantly moved my violin case out of the sights of the few students that were up at this hour. If someone asked about it, I'd probably just tell them a played. But if I could avoid the questions, then I would.
When I reached the Grand Hall, I saw that not very many people were up except for a few professors. Dumbledore smiled at me as I entered and sat at the Griffindor table, setting my violin and folder down on the bench beside me. I saw his eyebrows lift in curiousity, but I just avoided his gaze and pretended I hadn't seen, focusing my eyes on the table in front of me.
" ," I heard him call. Damn it.
" I didn't know you played and instrument."
"Well... I guess there's some things that are best unmentioned, professor." I shot a quick look up at him, hoping with all my heart that he wouldn't ask me to do anything. But, as usual, my hopes were tossed aside as he said- "Mrs. Bell I'm sure the other faculty members-including myself- would love to hear you play something."
"Oh I'm not sure-"
"Mrs. Bell, I'll give you an extra ten points on your charms essay if you just play something." Said Professor Flitwick from the far side of the staff table.
My feelings were split right down the middle. On one hand, I'd never played I front of anyone, except by accident when Remus caught me. But on the other hand, I wanted to play so badly at this exact moment that my fingers were moving at my side to form notes.
Sighing, I gave up on fighting it and leaned over in my seat to open my case. This was always my favourite part. Everything from the sound of the clasps opening to the original scent of the beautiful instrument made me excited to start playing as soon as possible.
I lightly placed my hands on the smooth surface of the violin, and then picked it up, along with the bow. I also opened my folder, pulling out the song that had been stuck in my head since the last time I'd played.
I was just about to properly prepare to play when Professor Dumbledore asked, "Will you come stand in front of our table?"
My knees quivered, but whatever I was feeling at that moment came second to the need for music. I quickly got up, bring my music and using my wand to make it float in place. After I'd placed my wand back into my boot, I just got right to it, bring the instrument up to the right level and tapping my foot, counting myself in.
At first, I was nervous. So nervous I could barely feel my fingers. I was thinking to myself the note names, but after awhile, I gave up on the technical things, stopped thinking the notes and even stopped tapping my foot. I just felt. I moved slowly back and forth and played like it was the last song I'd ever play. I could feel the familiar feeling of my mind just being set free, and I didn't have to worry about my life for the next five minutes. I felt at home, like this is what I was always supposed to be doing. I was surprisingly comfortable.
When it was over, it felt too soon. The entire hall was silent, not a single sound.
But the silence only lasted for so long. Apparently people had heard me playing, and more and more people had joined the group. An ear splitting applause filled the stone room, cheers and clapping and whistling assaulted my ears in great contrast to the previous silence.
"Oh Godric." I grumbled, rushing back over to my case, placing the violin inside, grabbing my music folder and making a break for it towards the doors.
Working my way through the crowd was extremely difficult. People kept patting my back and saying good job and some people even wanted to hug me like I was some kind of star.
I finally broke through the mob and into the corridor, running back to the common room and up to my dormitory, smiling the whole way.
After all this time of being terrified to play for else, thinking they'd judge me and poke fun, I'd finally done it. And it felt amazing. It was like all of a sudden, I was being rewarded for my hard work and effort. My heart was beating fast, but not from the running. From the pure joy of being recognized for the time I spent practising alone.
I never thought I would ever feel this way, but I felt like I couldn't put my instrument away fast enough. It sounds selfish, but I couldn't wait until I got back out into the school and talked to groups of the people who heard me.
Did Lily and Alice? The Marauders? My stomach leapt in excitement, and I ran to my first class as fast as possible after making sure my hair was all right and my makeup wasn't a complete mess.
Speed walking into potions, I sat quickly and got a few smiles from the people around me. I even got a thumbs up from some guy I'd never seen before, and when my professor came in, he patted my back and said well done as he passed.
Even though class had just started, I was excited for the next one already. I hurried through my work, finishing page after page, rushing and completing much more than the rest of my magical classmates.
Putting down my quill, I realized just how hard I had actually worked. I had finished all the class work, the assignments and some of the extra work from other classes. I even took the time to memorize part of my charms work for a test we would be having on the subject within the next few days.
When it was finally time to go to the next lesson, I was greeted by many people while walking through the corridor. Strangers and friends alike complimented me, one girl even comparing me to a musician back in her home town.
And when I saw Remus waiting outside my next class for me, his face immediately lit up. He picked my up in a hug, spinning me in circles. We must have looked like a pair of fools, but at that moment, I didn't care.
He whispered in my ear, "I'm so proud. I knew you could do it." Before placing me down on the solid ground, taking my hand in his and walking into the classroom with me.
Today was going to be a good day. I just knew it.
