The next day, after waking up without seeing Emily in our room, someone gets her ass released from isolation and that ass is the one that got me down here. The second she walks into the common room, she sends a shiver through everyone. She's a total bully and I now understand why I got this sense of something wrong when I arrived.
I should have stayed away.
Tricia stares at me like she can see into my soul. I so don't like that. She tilts her head at me, like she's analyzing me. I so don't like that either. She gets right in my personal bubble, making everyone glad she's leaving them alone.
"Figured it out yet?" She asks me and I shrug my shoulders, which makes her glare at me. "You better." She adds, with a tone of warning. Oh, scary.
"Don't you know how?" I ask and she narrows her eyes at me like I'm stupid.
"If I did, do you think I'd be waiting on you?" She asks, sort of insulted.
"You said you know a lot of spells." I reply and she sort of holds her head high, like that was a compliment. Fuck, we got a weird one here.
"I do, but not when it involves life and death. That's your department." She says and I fight the urge to roll my eyes.
"You think Clotho tells me everything?" I ask and she narrows her eyes at me again.
"She should, like my ancestors do to me." Tricia says and I don't know what the Hell that means. "The power of seers stays in the family. When one is born, they gather knowledge throughout their life from their ancestors. It's not a joy when they dump everything on you. It's too overwhelming, hence why I'm here." She adds and I nod. That's exactly what Clotho wants to avoid, me going crazy due to everything she knows. "But no, you're the previous vessel of the Moirai. They'd never give you all their knowledge. They want to keep you pretty and sane." Tricia concludes with resentment.
Yeah, someone has issues.
Then, she smiles coldly at me.
"You'll have to figure it out on your own, seeing as how you're so fucking clever." She says, sounding more like a hard stab than a compliment. Then, this twisting feeling in my gut makes me think of something horrible.
"Why did you cut my communications with Clotho?" I ask and she glares at me, like how dare I ask that question. In that moment, I realize that Tricia hates the Moirai, maybe due to the fact they don't make their vessels go crazy like her ancestors did to her. Not only does she hate them, she fears them.
She fears Clotho.
"Figure it out. Your dreams will turn into nightmares, so you better think fast." She says and walks away, scaring the other patients away from the checkers board where she plays alone.
Lily walks over to me with a folded paper, looking at Tricia with worry.
"Are you okay?" She asks me, handing me the note. I take it and smile at her.
"Yeah, just a little chat with Sunshine over there." I add and she smiles at me, like she's happy that I'm not afraid of Tricia. Of course not. She can be scary all she wants, she needs me. Her threats are empty.
Lily walks away and I unfold the note, looking first at the signature at the bottom.
Emily. Oh good. I don't know where the Hell she went.
It reads:
Hi, Celeste. Everyone likes you so much. Let me just tell you how much I like you too. Please don't worry about me. Mornings are hard for me. Everyone knows that. Tomorrow, I'll try to be better. Or I'll be put somewhere else. Don't worry. I want to be better. Everyone knows that.
I reread her message, getting worried that something is wrong. Then I feel like her note isn't making sense, like maybe it's not the message I should be focusing on. There's something here she wants me to know and I don't think it's about her wanting to be better. She repeats a little, so I start reading and reading, trying to figure out if there's a secret message or if I'm just overthinking it.
Maybe she means just as she said.
So, ignoring the meaning, I look at how the sentences are written. Why start sentences when you can easily put a coma and bridge two sentences together? I would have written it differently, but this wasn't written by me, so think differently Celeste.
So I start looking at the first letter of every sentence and then it hits me like a ton of bricks.
H, E, L, P, M, E, T, O, D, I, E.
Help me to die.
My heart feels heavy in my chest. This can't be a coincidence. She planned this. Emily deliberately wrote this message because she's tired of living and wants my help to end her suffering. She knows I brought the crow back to life. She knows I'm a Fate. She knows I can kill too. That's why she asked if I was going to kill Tricia.
That's why her future wasn't clear to me. I'm going to kill her.
Right now, just knowing this, it feels like I'm doing a Helluva lot worse than carving sigils into Amelia and Lindsey to bind the Moirai to us. I have a friend asking me to kill her.
The rest of the day, I sit alone with my thoughts. Tricia stares me down like a wolf with a rabbit and I can't even focus. How can I figure out how to reverse the effects of time on her when I'm so worried about Emily. When am I going to see her? Does she expect me to kill her tonight?
I feel full of worry, so much that it becomes apparent to the nurses.
Jill looks at me as I stare out the window.
"Have you been taking your medication, Celeste?" She asks me and I know that she knows. I'm sure I'm not acting like I should, based on the side effects of my pills.
"Yes." I lie to see what that gets me.
Jill is silent as she stares down at me. That's probably not a good sign.
"I'm worried about Emily." I say and she makes this sound in her throat.
"I understand she gave you a note?" She asks and I look up at her and based on the way that she stares at me, I have a feeling Lily wasn't as discreet as she thought she had been.
"She did." I reply and she looks at me, sort of surprised. What? She expected me to lie? I did. I don't usually like twice in a row, a little bit of truth mixed with a lie makes it so difficult to detect a lie. Or am I just thinking crazy?
I take the note out of my bra and give it to her to read. Maybe she'll catch onto the hidden message and have us separated. In a way, that would be nice. I don't want to kill my friend.
Jill reads the note, nods and returns it to me.
"Keep it concealed. It might upset the others." She says softly and I nod, returning to the window. I see Jill walk away in the reflection of the window. She's not so bad, it's just that her bitchiness shows more than any tenderness she could possess, as demonstrated all the fucking time.
I see someone else come up to me and this one has no tenderness.
Tricia.
She stands so close to me and pokes me. I feel this spark and it momentarily makes me whimper, a tear in my eye.
"Stay focused." She says and walks away. I glance around the room to see the patients all looking at me, but looking away. They know Tricia has a new victim and they're just glad it's not them. No one is willing to help me.
Thank God I don't need their help.
I look at Tricia and glare as she plays checkers alone.
Oh, I'll stay focused and figure it out, but I'm also going to kill you. And that won't make me hate myself.
