sorry guysss!!! better late then never right??
(i don't own twilight)
Chapter 28
Nessie
"Ness, what's wrong?"
"Is Rachel pregnant?"
"Yeah, why Nessie, what's wrong?"
I couldn't help it, I just started to cry, the tears silently falling down my face.
"I don't- I don't think I can have children." I said, my voice quivering.
"What do you mean? Have you guys been trying?"
"No, I don't even know if Jake wants kids. I mean, I think he does. The way he acts around Emily and Sam's kids. Now his sister is having a kid. I just don't want to disappoint him again."
"Have you talked to Jake about this yet?"
"No, it just never came up."
"So what makes you think that you can't have kids?"
"I've never had a period. Isn't that what makes it so that you can kids?"
"Damn, you're a lucky kid, not really for thinking that you can't have kids, but you don't get a period. I get them, but I can't have kids."
"Oh."
"Have you talked to your mom, or even Carlisle?"
"How do I start that conversation? 'Mom, Carlisle, I want to know if I have sex with Jake if I'll get pregnant?' Yeah, that will go over well."
"Ok, well you guys could try."
"You mean try to get pregnant?"
"Well yeah, or you could talk to Jake about it."
"I don't know, we haven't even talked about that yet. Like we've had some hot make out sessions; I wouldn't even know where to start."
"When you get to La Push, come see me, we can talk."
"What did he say?"
"I'm sorry, I'm so sorry."
"No Ness, you aren't. Maybe you just should have stayed in New York. You should have never come back." He turned towards the door.
"Jake don't leave, please I love you!" I started to cry.
"No, you don't if you loved me, you would be able to give me a child. And you can't so I'm leaving, just like you did; only I'm never coming back."
He walked out the door and all I could do was call to my knees and scream his name.
"Nessie, wake up." I opened my eyes, everything was blurry. "Baby it was only a dream, you're ok." I was breathing hard, I tried to get it under control but it didn't work. I just started crying harder, seeing Jake's face. That was the worst dream that I could ever have.
"Jake?"
"Baby, you're ok" he climbed into bed with me and held me until I calmed down.
"I'm sorry."
"Why are you sorry?"
"I haven't packed and its 7:30, you wanted to leave by 8."
"Well we better start packing, shouldn't we?"
We started packing, but all I could think about was that dream. That was my worst fear. I don't want to disappoint him again, so I didn't bring it up.
We got on the road a little after 9. I have to say, I'm glad that my parents got Jake a Hummer. There was a lot more room and the two front seats are far apart. I had an excuse not to hold Jake's hand. I couldn't risk the dream leaking into Jake's mind.
"Do you want to listen to music?" Jake looked at me. We haven't really listened to music together since before I left. I didn't know if I could handle it, being alone, in such close proximity to Jake and not feel any regret; I've been feeling that a lot these days. I don't blame myself either. It was my fault, and now I'm going to crush Jake's dreams again.
"Ness?"
"Oh, um. I don't care, if you want to." I shrugged and he turned on the radio, searched until he found something that he liked. Finally finding a station and sticking with it.
"Is Billy Joel ok?"
"Yeah, I don't care it's your car."
Jake squinted at me, "Ok."
We got to Rachel's house a little after 10:30. She ran to meet us, more Jake I think.
"Baby brother, you just couldn't stay away." She smiled ear to ear.
"Ugh, what did I tell you about that?!" he picked her up in a bear hug, and I met them on his side of the Hummer.
"Hi Nessie, glad to see you."
"You too Rachel."
"So what's the big surprise?"
"All in good time little brother."
Jake just looked at her. Rachel grabbed my hand and led me inside; I didn't give a backward glance at Jake.
When we were inside I started to tell Rachel congratulations, when Jake came in. he came and wrapped his arms around my waist, which I tried to get out of without making him mad.
"Rach, do you need help in the kitchen?"
"Ness that would be wonderful!" she clapped her hands.
I walked out of Jake's hands again not looking at him. I have to talk to Leah soon.
"So," I lowered my voice. "Can I show you something?"
Rachel looked confused. I held out my hand and she grabbed it. I showed what I thought she would look like in a few months. She gasped. "How did you know?"
"We all aren't as dense as your brother."
She giggled. "Thank you." she smiled.
"Do you mind if I use your phone? I left my cell in the car."
"Of course, go ahead."
I picked up the cordless and went into the bathroom and checked behind to make sure no one followed. I closed the door and locked it.
I dialed Leah's number quickly.
"Hey," I whispered into the phone.
"Hey, why are we whispering?"
"You don't have to, I just don't want the house of werewolves to hear me."
"Ness, whispering isn't going to help."
"Fine," my voice was back to normal.
"You at Rachel's?"
"Yeah"
"Ok I'll be there in ten minutes."
"Ok"
I got out of the bathroom and out the phone on the counter. Jake came in and eyed me, before he went to the fridge. He got two beers and then walked out of the kitchen. I sat down at the table with my head in my hands.
"HEY!" the door opened and I heard Paul and Rachel greet the visitor. I walked out into the living room and there was Leah hugging Jake. I cleared my throat.
"Oh, hey Ness." Leah came over to hug me. I gladly hugged her back. "Jake I hope you don't mind if I steal your girlfriend for a while?"
"What?" Jake looked confused.
"Oh Jake, don't look so worried. I'll bring her back soon."
"Ok," Jake came over to me and hugged me. "I love you." He whispered in my ear and kissed my forehead.
"Bye," I tried to smile, but he knew something was wrong. I was out the door before he could say anything; Leah was right on my heels. We got into the car. "Drive." was all I said. I couldn't get Jake's face out of my head. He looked so hurt.
"Ok Ness, we need to talk."
"Ok shoot."
"What's wrong? Did you tell Jake?"
"No."
"Then why are you guys acting so weird around each other?"
"I had a dream."
"Ok, what was it about?"
"I told him that I can't have kids, and he totally flipped. He ended up leaving. And then Jake woke me up."
"Did you tell him about the dream?"
"No, I couldn't."
"Did he hear any of the dream, were you crying, anything?"
"I don't know."
We pulled up into her apartment parking lot.
We into the apartment and sat down on the couch. She held me while I cried. We shared a tub of cookie dough ice cream.
"Here," she handed me the cordless. "Call the doc."
"What?"
"I'm pretty sure he'll know what do to."
"What?"
"Ness, just call him, if anything, you can talk to your mom, or even that blond chick, I'm pretty sure they'll be more help than I am."
"Leah, don't be ridiculous. You're a great friend."
I called the house, on the second ring Esme picked up.
"Grandma, can I talk to my mom?"
"Sure sweetie, hold on."
"Hello?"
"Mom,"
"Nessie, baby, what's wrong?"
"Oh god, um, I need to talk to you and well, I don't now how to-"
"Its ok, just start from the beginning."
"Well, Rachel's pregnant."
"Oh,"
"Oh, what do you mean 'oh?'"
"Well, hold on."
There was a brief silence.
"Ah, Nessie, we were wondering when you were going to start ask questions."
"Grandpa? What do you mean by start to ask questions?"
"My dear, you don't have to worry."
"How can I not worry? I'm freaking out because I don't think that I can have kids and you're telling me not to worry? I just-"
"Don't let it ruin your holidays,"
"What is this?" this is absurd! Leah left me, giving me some space and she was being really sweet.
"Honey we can talk about it when you get back home, we'll sit down with Carlisle and he'll explain everything to you and Jake."
"Why can't you just tell me now?"
"Is Jake there?"
"No, he doesn't even know-"
"Well you could start there, have you guys been talking about it?"
"No, but then again he doesn't even know that his sister is pregnant, that's why we're here, she wanted to tell him in person."
"Ok, well maybe you should tell him that you were thinking about it, or don't, it's up to you, but when you get back we'll talk about it ok?"
"Ok,"
"Now honey, enjoy you're holiday."
"Ok, but is it going to be ok?"
"Yes honey it's going to be ok."
"All right, thanks mom."
"Have a good time, I love you."
"Love you too."
Leah came back after I hung up, I handed her the phone.
"So it's good news?"
"Kinda, I guess, they didn't really say. But at least its not bad news."
"Ok, so how are we gonna seduce your man?"
