Disclaimer: I own nothing. Thank you J.K. Rowling for creating this magical world for us to play in.
a/n: I apologize for any mistakes. It has been an incredibly long day for me and the pain and muscle spasms have taken a toll on my body and mind. I wanted to post this chapter ASAP since we finally find out why this is happening to Hermione. I'm sure some won't agree with my why, but this will help Hermione relate to others on a completely different level.
Chapter 29
"Normal speech"
thoughts
'mental conversations'
Guest bedroom at Longbottom Manor-
Harry just stared at Emma opened mouth for a moment before gulping. He tried to look to Andy, then Narcissa for help and saw he was on his own as a very angry Emma swiftly crossed the room. Harry went to give her his chair but thought otherwise with the glare Emma was giving him. "I can explain…"
Emma cut him off and said, "You bloody will! Was that the real reason you wanted me out of the way?" She angrily turned to Narcissa and added, "Were you in on this? Was any of that real?"
Narcissa quickly crossed the room and grabbed Emma's arms while she replied in a firm tone, "Emma, I need you to stop and listen. Harry is going to explain what is happening." Pulling a distraught Emma into a tight embrace, she continued, "As for earlier, it was all real. I meant every word of it. Now, If I let you go, will you let Harry explain what has happened?"
Narcissa went to pull back, but Emma didn't move. Narcissa held her close as Harry said, "Her body was metabolizing the potions too quickly and she was in an incredible amount of pain. She couldn't say anything aloud for any of you to hear. But I heard her…" He was desperately trying to keep his own tears from spilling over as he felt his heart breaking all over again. By this point, Susan was standing next to Harry with a hand on his shoulder, and Augusta, Sirius, Amelia, Draco, Neville and Luna were watching closely. He looked to Emma with pleading eyes and went on to say, "I had Andy put her in a Coma. We didn't have any other choice. Please, I need you to understand, there was no other way. She…"
Emma went over and wrapped Harry in her arms as the tears finally were flowing freely. "What else are you trying to stay Harry. I need to know. I am trying to understand what happened to my daughter." Emma was trying to keep her voice steady. She couldn't wrap her head around what was happening. Harry held on tightly as he wept. Everything finally came tumbling down. Never one to really share what was going on, Harry was finally beyond his breaking point and what drove it home was Hermione begging for him to make the pain stop. Emma looked up to see if anyone would come over to help her.
Sirius may be thick at times, but he got the message loud and clear. He gave Amelia's hand a quick squeeze before going to his Godson's side. Crouching at the side of the chair he said, "Can you tell us what else is going on pup?" He knew there was something else Harry was holding onto. Harry just continued to shake his head no. "Do you want everyone to leave? You know you can tell me anything pup, and you know that I won't tell a soul if you do not want me too."
Emma went to protest but was cut off when Susan said, "Stop it. Can't you see that this is making everything worse? Everyone take a step back, give him some room." Susan looked directly at Emma and added, "Please." Narcissa came forward to pull Emma back, recognizing not only the tone the young witch used, but also the look in her eyes. Emma tried to fight her on this, but saw that she just shook her head no. Once every one was far enough way, Susan cast a quick privacy charm so that no one could hear them. It was Susan's turn to crouch in front of Harry and ask, "What else did Mione say? I know that you aren't telling us everything." She cupped the sides of his face so that Harry had to look at her. "Harry, it's just me. I made sure no one can hear us, alright?"
Harry relaxed slightly. When he looked into Susan's eyes, she saw that he was utterly crushed. "You're all right, there is more to it. What I didn't say is that she begged me to make the pain stop, and if I couldn't then….. to just end her misery. That she couldn't stand the pain any longer." Susan fell back stunned. This was not the Hermione Gran… Potter she knew. Staring off into space she heard Harry say, "How can I tell her pregnant mother who already lost a husband that? The same woman who was brutally beaten and raped. The very woman who is my mother in law?"
Susan took a moment to gather her own thoughts on this latest development. "You know she isn't going to drop this. Do you want me to do it? I know this is a lot for you Harry, but we're in this together. You don't have to go this alone, you have us… we're family after all."
"I'll tell her. It has to be me." Harry said as he went to stand from his chair and squared his shoulders. Helping Susan off the floor, he brought her in for a hug. "Thank you, for all of this. It's like you've said, we're family. I'll happily call you sister any day." Susan gave him a beaming smile just before she dropped the charm. Harry looked over and saw Narcissa was holding Emma close. Harry took a step to the side and as he motioned for Emma to take a seat he said, "I think you should take a seat." Emma looked to Narcissa who gave her a reassuring nod, to let her know that she wasn't going anywhere. "Narcissa, could I ask you to stay by her side for this. I know you want the truth and you deserve it. All I ask is that you bear with me, I beg you. Can you do that for me?"
Narcissa pulled a chair up and after placing it next to the other one transfigured it into a love seat big enough for the two of them. Once Emma was settled, she put one arm around her shoulders and held Emma's hands with the other. Determined to be the rock Emma needed she said, "We can do that Harry. Take all the time you need."
Susan put a hand on his shoulder to let him, her brother in all but blood, know that she wasn't going anywhere. Harry took a few deep breaths, and without even thinking, he tried to reach out for Hermione, but found nothing in the wake. Even though this threw him off kilter, he managed to gather his wits and thoughts enough before saying, "I'm going to start at the beginning. I called Andy to come…"
Within the world between-
Hermione felt herself floating and was surrounded completely by darkness. She tried looking around, but found nothing. Part of her was relieved, finally the pain was gone. She had never felt anything so intense. It zapped all her strength, energy, and resolve. The other part of her was terrified. What was all this doing to Harry? She knew he was close to his breaking point. He was the type of person who tucked all his emotions deep down until everything eventually over flowed and he either exploded or broke down… or both. The last thing she remembered was Harry telling her that she had to fight to come back to him, but that memory was fuzzy at best. She tried to reach out to their bond, but found nothing. It was as if it was blocked.
After what seemed like hours, Hermione finally saw a flicker of light, as if a door had opened and closed. Before she realized it, she was half way there. When she got a few steps away, the door opened one final time and revealed a silhouette of a man who called out, "Hello princess. Would you care to have a spot of tea with your old man?" Daniel Granger barely had enough time to get his arms up so that he could catch his daughter. He just held her close as he felt her shoulders shake as she was sobbing into his chest. He skillfully maneuvered her through the door and onto the sofa.
Making sure she was comfortable, Daniel turned and prepared their cups. He handed Hermione hers, just how she liked it, and settled on the sofa next to her. He could see the wheels turning and decided to break the ice by asking, "How are you holding up poppet? How is your mum?"
Hermione gingerly took a sip of the scolding hot tea before saying, "Mum is doing the best that she can. Narcissa Black has been her rock, and saved not only her life, but also the baby's. Then again, you already know all of this. Did you ever hear mum mention knowing her?"
Daniel frowned slightly and replied, "Don't think I don't know what you're doing poppet. I won't let you avoid that first question. As for your mum, she did tell me about someone named Cissa and their time together in France. We never kept secrets, both of us knew that secrets can rip a marriage apart."
Hermione sifted in her seat, knowing that her father would never let that fly. She held her cup with both hands and replied, "I don't know how I'm holding up. One minute I was sitting in the back-yard reading and the next thing I know, I'm married to the boy I fell in love with the moment I laid eyes on him. Then, we're going through these crazy changes, and with that comes all the emotions that made me sound as if I was a spoiled little brat. Then I stupidly jumped in front of a curse that not only caused a tremendous amount of pain, but fed off my magic. The topper would have to be my battle with a bigot, which leads me to where we are now. How can I be of any help if I keep getting injured?"
Daniel saw the tears begin to form in his daughter's eyes and knew it was due to frustration. Hermione has always been independent, and she was in no way use to always being on the shite end of the stick. "I know it doesn't seem like it now, but it will get better."
Hermione slammed her cup on the table as she shot up and started to pace back and forth. "When? When will this get better? Why is this happening to me? Did the fates decided that they needed a laugh?" She turned to face her father to say, "We both know that what is happening to me is not normal. When have you ever know me to be this pathetic and defenseless? Even when I was bullied while at primary, I wasn't this bad." Hermione flung her hands in the air as she fell back onto the sofa.
Daniel put a hand on Hermione's and said, "The fates are putting you through this for a reason, but they aren't laughing at you. Things that happen in our past in order to help shape our future." He waited a moment for that small tid bit to sink in before continuing, "Perhaps they are trying to test your resolve and prepare you for what is to come. It could be that they want you to learn from all of this. Since you know what being helpless is like, you will be able to look back on all of this and use the experience and to help those who can't help themselves. Be their advocates, and help give them a voice. Because of all of this, you will be able to relate to them on a level that others cannot. You can comfort them and truly understand what they aren't saying, relate to them on another level. It all comes down to you being able to help others when no one else can, just like Harry can use his experience to helps those who are in similar situations."
Hermione had tears freely running down her cheeks when she asked, "Why? Why did you have to die? I need you more now than ever."
Daniel's heart was breaking as he wrapped his daughter in his arms and held her close. "It was my time poppet. What happened to me helped bring you to your Harry. It also brought your mum back to Narcissa."
"How can you be ok with this? With leaving us behind?" asked Hermione.
"I may not be there physically, but I am always watching. If I had to relive it all over again, I wouldn't change a thing and I'll tell you why. It brought you and your mum love. Yes, I know your mother loved me and if I was still alive, we would have been happily married and in love. Now then, enough of this rubbish, tell me all about your Harry." Daniel said as he was wiping away Hermione's tears. "The only down side to all of this is that I never got the chance to make him sweat." And so, Hermione 's sniffles slowly tapered off as she began to tell her father all about the love of her life.
Hours passed as the two spoke of everything and nothing. Daniel was happy that he got the chance to spend time with his daughter. Just as Hermione was ecstatic to be with her father again. Eventually Hermione fell asleep and actually rested for the first time in what seemed like ages. Daniel was sitting across from her when Lily and James appeared near the door. He sighed heavily and asked, "Is it time all ready?"
Lily walked towards him and replied, "It's now or never. The choice is ultimately up to her." Lily saw Daniel struggling with this and went over to place a soft hand on his shoulder in a silent gesture of comfort. "This is always the hardest part. She still has a whole life ahead of her. You may not be there in person, but you will always be able to watch over her. A part of her will always keep you in her heart. Between her and Emma, your son will grow up knowing that his father was a wonderful man. But that can only happen if she goes back."
"How do you handle all of this? How can you keep saying good bye?" he asked.
"I sacrificed myself so that my son could live. He knows that he can always come to us for help. Because of how special these two are, Fate has given us a boon. When they escape into their minds, they have that chance to speak with us." Lily gently replied. "Do you want me to wake her? I know this is a heart breaking situation and wished you didn't have to go through this… either of you."
Daniel slowly stood and shook his head as he said, "I should be the one to do it." He reluctantly walked over to his sleeping daughter and watched her for just a moment longer before gently shaking Hermione to wake her. "It's time to get up princess."
"Mmm… Five more minutes daddy."
Daniel felt his heart swell when he heard that. "Come on poppet, time to get up. You wouldn't want to be late now would you? We wouldn't want to keep your Harry waiting."
Hermione tried to burrow further into the pillow as she mumbled, "Harry? Is he ok?"
Lily took this moment to step forward and said, "He is in a bad place without you right now."
Hermione slowly sat up and rubbed the sleep from her eyes. "Do I have to go back now?"
Daniel sat on the sofa and wrapped Hermione up is his arms. "Yes poppet. Do you remember what you promised Harry?"
She chewed on her lower lip as she tried to think of the answer. Everything was very fuzzy and Hermione was finding it difficult to concentrate. Something was tickling at the back of her mind. "He made me promise."
"What did he make you promise poppet?" asked Daniel
Suddenly it was as if the light finally turned on. Hermione shot to her feet and replied, "To fight. He made me promise to come back to him."
"Then go to him princess. Once you are through that door, run. Promise me that you won't stop." Daniel said as he tried to not get emotional. "Now, give your dad one last hug."
"I love you Daddy." Hermione said as she gave her father a bone crushing hug.
"I love you to princess. Now go to him, and tell your mum I love her."
Back at Longbottom Manor (jump back in time)-
The tension was so thick, you could cut it with a knife. By the time Harry finished speaking, he was shaking uncontrollable and Emma had silent tears streaming down. As she sat there she wondered how it got so bad. Emma continued to stare at her daughter's lifeless body while Narcissa held her close. "How dare you keep this from me." Emma softly said before attempting to jump to her feet, only to be stopped by Narcissa who pulled her into her lap as Draco briskly walked to their side. Emma was still trying to stand as she yelled, "She is my daughter you bastard! I had a right to know!" Emma turned herself and was crying on Narcissa's shoulder.
Sirius stepped forward to defend his Godson, but stopped as Harry's hand shot up to top him as Amelia pulled him back. "I know that she is your daughter, but what you seem to be forgetting is that she is also my wife, thus making her my responsibility. And before you try to blame anyone else, I and I alone am responsible. I made a decision in the moment and that is something I will have to live with." Harry went and crouched in front of Emma and said, "I told you before and I will say it again. Hermione is and will always be my world."
Harry went to stand when Emma's hand shot out and gripped his arm tightly. She turned to slowly face him. Once she had eye contact, Emma slapped him… hard across the face before pulling him into a bear hug only to begin sobbing again. After several minutes, Emma's sobs finally began to lessen and in between the sniffles said, "Don't you ever leave me out of the loop again."
Harry sighed as he replied, "I'm sorry for all of this. But you must know that I really wanted you to have a wonderful evening with Narcissa. With all that has been happening, I just thought you deserved a relaxing evening, one without worries." Harry helped Emma stand and took a good look at her. "Your exhausted, why don't you go rest. I do have one question. How did you know that something was happening to Hermione?"
Emma was in Narcissa's arms once more and replied, "Mother's intuition. I can't really explain it, it was a feeling I had."
Harry fell back on the loveseat as Augusta started to usher Neville, Draco, and Luna out of the room and towards their beds for the evening, leaving Sirius, Amelia, and Susan to speak with Harry. Since Harry was sitting in the middle, Susan took one side while Amelia took the other as Sirius pulled over a chair from across the room. "Did she really say that pup?" Sirius asked. "It just seems so unlike the Mione we all know."
Harry turned his gaze to Hermione and replied, "She was in so much pain and it was the only thing I could do. You couldn't feel what I felt or hear her silent screams."
Amelia attempted to comfort him by putting an arm around his shoulders and said, "You did what you had to do Harry. Do we know how long before she wakes?"
Harry just shook his head at the question. He wiped the lone tear that was streaking down his cheek as he replied, "That depends on her. I made her promise to come back to me, that she would fight. All we can do is wait."
"Then we will wait Harry." Susan said as she put a hand on his. She looked to her Aunt and added, "I'll stay with him. You should go and get some sleep Auntie, you look as if you have been trampled by a Hippogriff." She gave Sirius a pointed glare and added, "And she better sleep Black, I can't have my Auntie falling over. How would it look if the Head of the DMLE fell asleep in her eggs? We can't have that now can we?"
Sirius thumped a hand over his heart in an attempt to be wounded by Susan's words as Amelia gave a small chuckle at their antics. Amelia stood and first kissed the top of Harry's head and then Susan's before slapping Sirius upside the head. "Try to get some rest you two. We can discuss everything else later."
Narcissa and Emma's quarters-
Narcissa and Emma walked back to their room in complete silence. Emma was shocked by what she heard, and Narcissa was clearly worried about Emma's health after such a shock. Once safely tucked in their room, Narcissa saw Emma deposited on to the sofa near the fire before going over and pouring two drams. She handed one to Emma who took it, but continued to just stare into the fire. After several tense minutes Emma quietly asked, "Why couldn't you come to me with your theory? Have I done anything to warrant that you couldn't speak with me?"
"I didn't want to worry you. It was just that, a theory. I never knew that he would do any of this without speaking to you." Narcissa replied as she threw back the dram. She put the empty glass down and turned to face Emma, and took the untouched glass to put on the table. Gently cupping Emma's face, Narcissa said, "You really should get some rest darling."
"Cissa, as we were leaving the restaurant, I felt this jolt run straight through to my core. Did you feel the same thing? Was it because you said we are soul mates?" Emma asked as she made herself comfortable in Narcissa's arms while her feet were tucked under her.
"I felt it too sweetheart. It wasn't just because of that. When we declared our love for each other, we sealed it with a kiss. It was out magic reaching out to each other." Narcissa said as she felt Emma's head slip slightly as she started to fall asleep from the sound of Narcissa's soothing voice. Narcissa leaned in and gave Emma a loving kiss before saying, "Let's get you into bed darling. We can worry about everything else tomorrow."
a/n 2- What I need to say is that I am drawing from my own experience when it comes to being in so much pain… it tends to put you in a very bad place mentally and it tends to make you take a long hard look at your life and what you would be leaving behind. Someone posted a reply about how life isn't easy and to just get over it. I know that better than anyone after watching my brother die when I was only 21, then going through recovery as a Cocaine addict- I have been sober for almost 10 years, all the while being told that you will suffer from a chronic pain disorder for the rest of your life that will progressively get worse and does affect your memory all before I was 22 years old- I am now 32 and happily married to my beautiful wife.
What I am trying to say is that there is a light at the end of the tunnel. Whenever you feel that you are alone, please remember you are not. Someone is always in your corner, and if you truly feel the opposite, then please reach out. My mail box is always open and I would never judge you. I don't think it would make a lot of sense for a 32 year old lesbian to judge someone right ;)
