Part XXIX:

"What do you mean I'm still the Fire Lord?" Zuko exclaimed, staring at his secretary in open-mouthed shock. Fen stood before him with wide eyes and a thin mouth, clutching a folder of papers to his thin chest. "I abdicated! It was official, Fen."

"He's right, Fen. I witnessed it," General Mak spoke up from his position in front of the windows to Zuko's office. Zuko glanced at the others. Kikki, Xiuying, Mei Lin, and Qing were standing at attention in the corner, all of them looking bruised and battered. Chao-Ahn was in the healing ward and would be for some time. Rin and Tam were with her. Mai was sitting in a chair, looking as if she were fighting sleep; she was paler than usual and he knew that her injuries had taken a toll on her. Her help had been priceless during the fight though. She had been the one to contact June and brought her in to the fray. Her help had been invaluable too.

June was helping Mak's forces identify and interrogate former Smoke Demons at the moment. He'd have to remember to thank the woman the next time he saw her. Maybe he'd buy her a drink.

Fen's eyes darted to the side and he swallowed a little. "Well, see, the thing is... I may or may not have burned the documents you signed about five minutes after you signed them."

Zuko sank back in his chair, his sore and bloody body too exhausted to move. He ran a soot-streaked hand down his bruised and swollen face and glanced over at Suki, who was sitting on the couch, looking equally as exhausted as Nam-Kyu stitched up a long knife wound on her arm. Suki was still covered in blood, her uniform torn, her makeup smeared.

Despite that, she looked beautiful. Beautiful and alive. It took all of his strength to tear his eyes away from her and turn them back on Fen.

"You burned them?"

"Yes."

"Why?"

"Well, the thing is, they sort of weren't official anyway. I...I neglected to get a Fire Sage to provide their seal on the documents before you signed them. Which, as you know, is required of any official decree made by the Fire Lord," Fen said quickly. "You were making a mistake, Zuko. I couldn't allow you to abdicate or pardon the Smoke Demons. You weren't thinking clearly. I... I'm sorry, but you weren't!"

Zuko sighed as he studied Fen for a long moment. "You're right, Fen. I wasn't. I let Shura manipulate me. She got under my skin, and frankly, her campaign of mistrust worked. I was afraid of faking it. I was convinced she'd know about it."

"I know, sire. I... I just did what I thought I had to. As your secretary, it's my job to handle your paperwork correctly and... And I hope you're not angry with me."

Zuko shook his head and then laughed. "I'm not angry, Fen. What you did ensured that there will be no legal hurdles to imprisoning the Smoke Demons now. We can put them away for good."

Fen visibly relaxed and a small smile hit his lips. "Good. Is there anything you need, Fire Lord Zuko? Food?"

"Food would be good. Get enough for everyone. I think we're all starving," he said, realizing how exhausted he was. It had been too long since he'd eaten, and far too long since he'd had a moment to breathe. What he really wanted was a moment with Suki alone.

"I'll have it served in the dining hall within the hour. You, uh, may wish to wash up, sire."

Zuko glanced down at his grimy, blood-covered hands. The urge to scrub himself raw came over him as he watched Fen walk out of the office, leaving Zuko and the others alone.

"So you're still the Fire Lord," Mak said with approval in his voice. Zuko turned to meet his gaze.

"Seems so."

"And we have leverage against the Smoke Demons. The ones that survived the fire, in any case," Mak said, staring into the hot sunlight pouring in through the windows. "I have my men searching the streets. At least two of the bastards have turned, now that they believe they won't be killed for talking. It seems Shura had a zero tolerance policy against traitorous actions."

"It worked, didn't it?" Suki said bitterly, wincing as Nam-Kyu sewed up her wound.

"It certainly did," Mak replied just as bitterly. "What are you going to do with her, Zuko?"

Zuko thought a long moment, studying Suki's blood-splattered face, the cuts on the corners of her mouth, the bruises on her face. He thought of Aiko's broken body. He thought of Ty Lee's tiny body hooked to machines that kept her breathing. He thought of Mai, injured and swaying. He thought of Sokka, tattooed and ragged, and his sister, fragile and damaged but trying to be good.

Shura had used them all to pursue a selfish dream of power. His friends, his family, had suffered because of one woman's blind ambitions and insane idea that the world owed her something. She had fractured his trust in his Council, in his servants, his armed forced, his whole way of life.

She had taken Suki. She had wanted to kill her, and he knew, from the glazed look in his Suki's eyes, and the blood on her face, that Shura had let her son put his hands on her.

He wasn't feeling particularly merciful. Not after everything that had happened.

"She'll go on trial for her crimes. If she's found guilty, I'll use my discretion."

"You'll commute her sentence like you did your father? Prison?" Mak asked.

Zuko shook his head. "No. I afforded my father a life term because he was my father and because I couldn't stand the thought of being the cause of his death. Shura is nothing to me. An example has to be made to others who may think this monarchy is weak. If convicted, Shura will burn for her crimes before the whole of the Fire Nation. And I'll light her pyre myself."

He met Suki's gaze and saw the tighten of her lips as Nam-Kyu finished up bandaging her wound.

"You've never given out the death penalty, Zuko. Are you sure about that?" Mak pressed.

"I killed a handful of men this morning. I burned one of them alive and I would do any of those things again if necessary. I'm sure," Zuko said heavily and then stood, facing them all. "I want to thank you all. All of you have proven your loyalty me a thousand times over. That's no small thing."

"Zuko..." Mai started, but he held up his hand, stopping her.

"Mai, your courage and sacrifice is what saved all of us. Without you, we might never have known there were people intent on destroying us until it was too late. You infiltrated them and worked to uncover as much about the Smoke Demons as you could, at the risk of death. Thank you. That means more to me than you know. I'd like to honor you with the highest commendation a civilian of the Fire Nation can receive, the Special Services to the Crown."

Mai opened her mouth to speak and then closed it again. She flushed and mumbled, "Thank you."

Zuko's smile was grim and tired as he turned to the Kyoshi Warriors. "I want to thank all of you for what you did tonight. I don't have the words, ladies. Each and every one of you are invaluable to me, to the crown, to this Nation. The Kyoshi Warriors will receive Medals of Honor. I'm also pardoning Aiko and awarding her the same honor. She'll receive a state funeral. Her mother as well."

He saw Suki's eyes fill with tears as he looked down at her. She cradled her bandaged arm to her chest, looking overwhelmed. He knew how she felt.

"Sokka and Azula will also receive pardons for anything they did while working undercover and I'll honor them with awards as well. I know a medal isn't much, it doesn't encompass what you've done for me or my gratitude, but..." He stared into Suki's blue eyes. "I hope it's enough."

"It's enough," Suki said softly and he let out a breath.

"Oh, I don't get a shiny metal? No one appreciates the things I go through, patching up uncooperative patients, massaging hearts for an hour, and having my healing ward turn into a bloodbath!" Nam-Kyu groused as she packed up her supplies bag and stood with a stoop-shouldered surliness.

Zuko found himself grinning. "You're right, Nam-Kyu. I've put you through the wringer the past couple of weeks. You deserve a medal too. Mak? Do you know if we have a Nosy Old Gossip of the Year Award?"

Nam-Kyu pursed her lips as she walked past him toward the door. "Go fuck yourself, you little shit. And put some ice on that cheekbone."

"Nice to see you too," he said as she walked out of his office. He turned back to the others with a sigh. His gaze went back to Suki, who was touching the cuts at the corners of her mouth. Nam-Kyu had cleaned them, but they looked bloody and raw. "We should all get cleaned up. Fen's laying out food in the dining room if you want any. Take the rest of the day. I don't know about you, but I'm going to bathe, eat and then sleep for ten hours. I suggest you do the same."

That seemed to break up the sudden silence. Mai stood with a sway, and Kikki gave her a shoulder to lean on. He watched the Kyoshi Warriors limp out of the room with Mai in tow. General Mak followed them, leaving he and Suki alone.

He stood in front of her as she sat on the couch, her head down, staring at her bloody fingers. He started to say something, but a knock on the door startled him. "Yes?"

Fen opened the door cautiously, his arms full of clothing. "For you, sire. I've taken the liberty of having food delivered to the Captain's room, as well as the dining room, if the two of you would prefer to dine alone."

He glanced at Suki and then back at Fen. "Thank you, Fen. I think I would definitely prefer to eat in Captain Suki's room today. Could you see to it that we're not disturbed for the rest of the afternoon?"

"Of course, sire," Fen said, putting his clothing down. He bowed and left the room, leaving Zuko to turn back to Suki, who was standing a bit shakily.

He gathered up his clothing and put one hand around her as they walked. She'd gotten banged up during the fight and he knew that she had bruises along her body. The fact that she wasn't complaining was pretty miraculous. His face felt like it was on fire from where Kang had hit him. Nam-Kyu's advice about the ice seemed like something he should be taking right about now.

They walked in silence for a while, passing soldiers at attention. Security in the palace hadn't been relaxed. He doubt it would for a long time, not until they were sure all of the Smoke Demons had been caught.

"You think your room is safe?"

"Safe enough,"Suki said shortly. "Safer than yours, anyway. First thing tomorrow we hire an earthbender to find every exit in and out of this palace and close them off. And you're moving your suite."

"Definitely," he agreed. Even if they blocked off the tunnel in his room, he knew he'd never sleep in there comfortably again. It was a shame too. He'd loved that suite. "Maybe you could move in with me then," he said lightly and Suki let out a little chuckle.

"Won't that set off the rumor mill," she said flatly as they walked into her suite.

"I'm serious," he said as he put his clothing down on the bed. He loved Suki's room, the earth tones, greens and blues and golds. There were splashes of red around too, things she'd bought in the marketplaces of the Fire Nation. A collection of fans took up one wall. Her desk was neat and orderly, her weapons stand full of polished swords and oiled leather armor. Her paint pots sat on a small stand beside a mirror and he could just imagine her standing there everyday painting her face.

The scent of her was everywhere and it made his heart ache. He could imagine himself wrapped up in her world, her things, her body, for the rest of his life.

"You want me to move in with you?" Suki said as she walked into the bathing chamber and started the shower. Steam rose as the water pounded down. He followed her into the chamber and shrugged.

"I'm saying I wouldn't mind if you did," he explained, reaching for the ties on Suki's ruined uniform. She allowed him to slowly pull it off of her, careful of her bruises. She was sticky all over, the uniform stiff with dried blood. The bandage on her arm was soaked through with blood already, and he watched as she took it off, revealing the stitched wound. The knife wound she'd taken in her shoulder looked angry beneath the blood splatter. Her body was bruising black and blue. Her makeup was smeared. Her fingernails were broken and ragged.

She was beautiful and alive... No thanks to him. Guilt hit him, hard and quick. He couldn't stop it. He had no right to ask her to move in with him and he knew it. Being with him had made her a target.

He undressed with her and together they climbed into the shower.

It was slow going, washing the blood and soot and grime off of each other. They didn't talk much. He shampooed her hair and then helped her rinse it. He gently cleaned her face, wiping away her makeup and the blood of the man she'd killed. Beneath, her skin was beautiful and bruised.

They stood in the water until the water sluicing off them was no longer pink. Suki sighed and pressed her face into his shoulder, careful to avoid the singe on his chest. He put his arms around her, his nose in her clean, wet hair. The hot water beat down on his back, relaxing the tense muscles in his shoulders as he held her.

"Did he hurt you?" he finally said.

Suki started, looking up at him with wide eyes. "What?"

"Li-Shang."

Suki swallowed. "No. He tried. I killed him."

"He was going to..."

"Yes."

Zuko felt anger flood him, a savage kind of murderous anger that filled him from heart to head. Only the fact that Suki had killed the man made it bearable. The fact that she had been hurt, threatened, touched, filled him regret and guilt.

"They took you because of me," he said slowly, his voice full of emotion.

"No, they didn't," Suki said immediately. "I humiliated Shura when I tossed her out of your room naked. That's why she sent that assassin after us on the balcony. She was angry. That's why she killed Aiko. She was taunting me, not you."

"But she still took you to get to me."

"Maybe, but when Li-Shang came for me, he could have killed me. If his mother had ordered him to kill me, I wouldn't be here. She needed me alive to bait you, Zuko. You saved my life."

Zuko shook his head. "That's a fucked up way of looking at it."

"I've had a fucked up day. And it doesn't stop it from being true, so stop feeling guilty."

"I don't-"

Suki put one finger on his lips, stilling his protest. "I know you. I know what you're feeling and I want you to stop it. I'm alive. He didn't hurt me. I killed him. We took down the Smoke Demons. Shura's in a prison cell mad with grief over her sons' deaths. She'll burn for her crimes. We survived."

Zuko studied her face. "I thought I'd lost you. I was so scared that you'd been killed Suki. I was ready to do anything to get you back."

"Like abdicate the throne?" she said and reached behind him, turning off the water. She turned away and stepped out of the shower, leaving him to follow.

"I did what I had to do."

"You gave up your throne for me, Zuko, that's... I..." she said, wrapping a towel around herself. Zuko grabbed one and wrapped it around his waist. "I feel like I failed you."

Zuko touched her wet arm, turning her back toward him in the steamy bathroom. "Failed me? Why do you think that you failed me?"

"Because," she said slowly. "Because it's my job to protect you from threats, from people who want to hurt you, Zuko. I shouldn't have let myself get taken. I wasn't thinking. I let down my guard. And she used your feelings for me to force you into something you shouldn't have been forced into doing. I'm sorry."

"Don't apologize, Suki. I need you to know that I would have done anything—anything!–Shura demanded just to know you were safe. They had you and they were going to hurt you and I knew it. Giving up the throne... I would make the same choice again, without hesitation, because to me there is no choice. You mean more to me than a crown. I love you."

"I love you too," Suki said and relaxed against his chest again. He pulled her into his arms, smoothing his hands down her wet hair. "But you need to promise me something."

"Anything, baby."

"You can't put yourself in danger to save me again. If something had happened to you tonight... It would kill me, okay? I can't lose you."

"I feel the same way."

"No, no! It doesn't work that way," she said, pulling back, her jaw set with determination. "I'm your bodyguard. I step in front of swords for you. I watch your back, it's not the other way around. That is not how this works!"

Zuko caught her face in his hands, searching her face for a long moment. Then he lowered his mouth to hers, kissing her lips gently. When he pulled away, she swallowed hard, her hands clutching his bruised shoulders.

"I can't go back, Suki," he said regretfully. "I'm in love with you. That means I can't let you put yourself in harm's way just for me. I can't. I'd die for you. I respect you and I trust you, but if you died to protect me, I'd never forgive myself."

"Then I can't be your bodyguard any longer. Not if it puts you in danger."

Zuko nodded. "Okay, so you're not my bodyguard any longer."

She looked uncomfortable and sad. "Then what am I? What is the point of me being here if I'm not working?"

Zuko chewed on his bottom lip for a moment and then kissed her forehead. "Let me think about that, okay? For now, let's just... Let's just be together. If you still want to be together?"

Suki touched his chest, tracing the edges of the singe on his skin. "You know I do. I know we've only been together for a couple of extremely stress-filled days, but... I do love you. I know it in my bones. Everyone keeps telling me I'm not good enough for you, that I'm some dirt kingdom whore, but when you look at me I can't remember a word they've said."

"Who's been saying that about you? I'll banish them."

"A bunch of spoiled little rich girls who want to marry you. And some of your Council."

"Well, I don't know if you know this, but I'm not interested in a bunch of spoiled little rich girls. The only woman I wanted at that ball was you. And as for my Council... You let me handle them. I just got you, Suki... I don't intend to let you go. Whatever problems we have, we can work them out. Fuck everyone else."

Suki smiled slightly and he bent and kissed her lips again. When he pulled away, she tilted back her head and looked into his eyes, a look of wonder on her face. It was the look of love. He knew in that moment that he would be addicted to that look for the rest of his life.