Confessions of a Gold-Digger

#27. My Murderer Orders A Happy Meal

"Would you like french fries with that, sir?" I asked the customer, giving him a strained, sleep-deprived smile.

Dear readers, you're probably like– Wait, what?

A timeskip happened! Why are you working in some junk-food pigsty (aka McDonald's), Elena?!

You were probably expecting me to turn into some badass who could break people's heads with her thighs and shoot flaming arrows but still somehow have time to study for her PhD.

I was kind of hoping that I'd turn into a Mary Sue, too.

I mean it's been 2 years (7 months, 6 days and 45 minutes but who's counting?). That's enough time to turn into some gorgeous diva.

But, you know, shit happens–

"I'd like a Happy Meal, Elena-chan," a grown-ass man sang and I looked up from the register. "I love those Minion toys. I'm so happy that the movie is having a sequel.

Holy shit.

Byakuran Gesso.

"Byakuran," my voice was barely audible. I was literally staring at my death in the face.

Everyone in McDonald's stiffened. Byakuran was the Don of one of the strongest Mafia famiglias in the world. Every Venetian knew about him.

"Elena-chan," Byakuran gave me a Cheshire grin, "it's so nice to finally meet you."

Now, when your killer walks into your workplace, you should run for the hills. That's common sense.

But if you think I developed some common sense in the last 2 years (7 months, 6 days and 45 minutes but who's counting?)… you are fooling yourself.

I bent over the counter and grabbed Byakuran by his fancy Armani collars.

"Listen, you son of a white crayon snake," my face was just inches from his, "if I ever see you again, I will shove those Minion toys so far up your ass–"

"Elena-chan," Byakuran laughed, gently pulling my hands away from his collar, "you are so charming. How about we talk somewhere more private?"

He grabbed me by the waist and pulled me over his shoulder with ease, like I was a sack of potatoes. I was too stunned to speak.

"If anyone tries to help her or call the police, I'll burn this entire place down," Byakuran said sweetly.

"YOU ARE DEAD MEAT, YOU HEAR ME–" I started punching his back and screaming but he touched my neck and I passed out.

I know. I know. I know.

I know what you're thinking. But, it's not like I enjoy being kidnapped!


"I'm so glad that you're awake, Elena-chan," Byakuran sang when I opened my eyes.

I ignored him, trying to get a better idea of my surroundings. We were in a secluded corner cafe and my hands were tied to a chair.

Great.

"I didn't really want to tie you up but if you tried to run, it would just waste precious time," Byakuran said, studying me carefully.

"I don't run," I said and glared at him.

"I know," Byakuran sighed. "Storms are annoyingly brave. I literally have to drag my Storms out of certain-death situations because they are so stubborn."

"Cut the crap. What do you want?" I demanded.

I know I'm supposed to behave around unstable psychopaths but fuck that jazz.

"I want us to be best friends," Byakuran smiled and it gave me the creepies.

"Listen, white crayon, I have standards. I don't befriend assholes who kill me in some parallel future universe and then kidnap me."

"I know you don't hate me because I killed you," Byakuran said. "You hate me because I killed you in front of the Lightning Guardian."

"You fucking killed me in front of my kid," I saw red and the only thing holding me back was the restraints, "You traumatised Lambo and I swear, I'm gonna cut you like a carrot when I'm–"

"Your threats are endearing but, trust me, I have come to regret killing you," Byakuran said. "Your Tsunayoshi made sure of that.. Which leads me to my current predicament."

I stiffened when I heard Tsuna's name. Pain and longing throbbed in my veins.

"What does Tsuna have anything to do with this?" I asked quietly.

"Well, Elena-chan, he has everything to do with this," Byakuran gave an uneasy smile that suddenly twisted into a smirk. "Look at you. You were destined to be the Queen of the Underworld but now you work long hours in McDonald's. What happened?"

There was no reason for me to share but you know me: the ultimate blabber.

"Tsuna," I exhaled deeply, "he never came back for me. He promised he'd take me back home after a year. He promised. So, I thought, maybe he was busy and I tried to buy a plane ticket back to Namimori with my Vongola card but apparently.. I'm forbidden to buy plane tickets with it. Tsuna' direct orders."

"Go on," Byakuran said.

I glared at him. What was I? Some reality TV show?

"So I decided to work for the plane tickets. I mean, they are not that expensive but it's hard for me to get that kind of cash. Due to legal Italian laws, I couldn't work until a certain age. I finally reached that age a few months ago and luckily got a job in a Venetian McDonald's but I have school so I can't work too much– Ugh." I groaned when I remembered that I have a Mafia Politics test tomorrow.

"So," Byakuran crossed his fingers and smirked, "you are pretty shameless. Working this hard to go back to someone who abandoned you. Why do you think he won't let you come back to him?"

I wanted to cry when he said that. I had asked that question to myself a million times.

"I don't know," I finally answered. "I thought if I got better grades and knew how to defend myself, he'd come back for me but… I'm a straight C student now. That's a huge improvement from being straight F. I also have a B in archery. I mean, I worked so hard–"

"All this for some boy," Byakuran rolled his eyes playfully. "As a feminist, I can't help but disapprove of this behaviour."

"He's my Sky!" I snapped. I'm not supposed to be thousands of miles away from him!

"Find another Sky," Byakuran sipped his coffee. "You live in Venice. You'll find plenty of Mafia bosses who wouldn't mind having a Barbie for a Storm."

"He's my permanent Sky," I said. My flames couldn't stand being away from their Sky and they, sure as hell, couldn't imagine being claimed by someone else.

Byakuran froze when he heard that and muttered a string of curses. His reaction alarmed me a bit.

"What's up with you? Sad that you can't claim my flames and mind-control me?" I joked.

"Permanent sky?!" Byakuran hissed. "And you've been away from him for how long? Two and half years? What the fuck is he thinking? This is no way of protecting you." The last line was an angry whisper.

"You look like a genocidal maniac right now," I said.

"You are supposed to be with him," Byakuran massaged his temples. "The situation is more dire than I thought it would be. If he can send a Permanent Storm away–"

He was no longer acting like a happy-go-lucky hippie. He looked like a stressed Don.

"You need to drink some alcohol and chill–"

"As you eloquently said, I'll cut the crap," Byakuran said seriously. "Your beloved Sky's Inheritance Ceremony is going to be held soon."

Inheritance Ceremony. Daemon Spade. Mukuro.

Being stuck here.. I had failed Mukuro, too. I had nearly pursued Nono to hold the Ceremony two years ago. (If I only hadn't agreed to move to Venice for a year..)

"What of it?" I asked dryly.

"What do you think will be Tsunayoshi's first order as Vongola Decimo?" Byakuran asked.

"Wait a sec, let me pull up my mind-reading skills so I can answer that question," I said sarcastically.

"Total annihilation of the Millefiore Famiglia," Byakuran's face was blank when he said that.

What. The. Fuck.

It took me a few moments to swallow that information.

"What kinds of drug are you doing, white crayon?" I demanded. "Tsuna would never order something like that. He's your typical goody-in-two-shoes. He's a peace-loving hippie."

"That's usually true but," Byakuran groaned, "I killed you."

"But in some parallel future universe that doesn't exist anymore. Tsuna would never order the annihilation of an entire Famiglia because of something like that!" I was getting angrier.

How dare he describe Tsuna like some revenge-hungry monster!

"Well, you see," Byakuran sighed. "during our last, final, epic battle… when I started losing against him, I told him a lie to rile him up. I was hoping the lie would make him so angry that he would lose himself to rage and make mistakes."

"What lie?" My woman's intuition was screaming warnings.

But he called the battle 'epic'. That was kinda funny.

"I told him you were pregnant when I killed you," Byakuran finally said.

It took me a few moments to process this.

Come on, bro. I have a big test tomorrow. I can't process these kinds of crazy information right now.

"I was pregnant when you killed me?" I hissed.

"No, you weren't," Byakuran said and made a face. "I'd notice if you'd have a strong Sky in your weak Storm body. I lied to rile him up but I just shortened my lifespan instead."

"I still don't get it. Tsuna hasn't contacted me in two years but for some reason he cares about me enough to want you dead for killing my unborn child. Say he wants to kill you, what excuse is he going to give the Vongola for ordering the annihilation of an entire Famiglia?"

"It won't take much persuasion to convince the Vongola to aide him once he becomes Decimo. They'll think I killed a Vongola heir. It doesn't matter if it happened in a parallel, future universe. That's enough of a reason to destroy us."

"Wait. What." I gave him a blank look. "What does Tsuna's heir have to do anything with my pregnancy?"

"Fake pregnancy," Byakuran corrected and looked at me like I was some moron. "What do you think it has to do with your pregnancy, Elena-chan?"

It finally hit me like a shit ton of bricks.

"You think that Tsuna thinks that I was pregnant with his child when you killed me?" I asked.

What. The. Fuck. (I'm saying that a lot today.)

"You finally get it–"

I started roaring with laughter because THIS SHIT WAS HILARIOUS.

"Bruh, you're talking to the wrong blondie. It's Kyoko you're looking for. It's not that hard to notice the difference between us. I'm a sexy badass and she's a sweet angel." I started laughing again. "Oh my gosh! Tsuna and me! This is such an LOL moment. I can't breathe!"

Byakuran crossed his arms. He didn't look even the slightest bit amused.

Didn't he realize he made the joke of the century?

Tsuna and me.. BAHAHAHA!

"But you love Tsunayoshi," Byakuran pointed out.

"Of course I do! He's my family. I love Tsuna the way I love Mukuro. I will love them both till the day I die. What does that have anything to do with this?"

Byakuran sighed.

"Let's make a deal," Byakuran sat up straight.

"I don't think so–" My face twisted into a glare.

"You will explain the big misunderstanding to Tsunayoshi and, in exchange, I will aide you in the reunion you have craved for," Byakuran said.

"You'll take me to Namimori? With your fancy private jet?" I asked.

"Namimori is too heavily-guarded. I'm not going to waltz into his home territory. No, I'm going to bring him to us," Byakuran said and raised his hand towards me.

His hand was suddenly engulfed with a bright orange flame and I felt them tugging my Storm flames towards it.

"Stop! I'm already claimed–" I yelled but Byakuran silenced me with a look.

"Even if you're miles away, your Sky will know if someone else is trying to claim you. Tsunayoshi remembers my flames very well. Once he realizes that I am in your presence, he'll drop everything and come here to Venice."

The flame perished and Byakuran withdrew his hand.

"Now what?" I asked uneasily.

"We wait," Byakuran said. "A permanent Element is never supposed to be away from their Sky for so long. Hopefully, he'll realize his mistake when he sees what state your flames are in."

I didn't say anything.

"What will you do when you finally see him? Hug him? Kiss him?" Byakuran teased.

"Break his nose," I said seriously.

Byakuran laughed.

"I like your spirit. Hopefully, that bravery of yours will be able to prevent my certain death."


Step #29: Be smarter than me. Don't make deals with your murderer.