"It is terrible to have to ask for anything ever. We wish we were something that needed nothing, like paint. But even paint needs repainting."
-- Miranda July, "No One Belongs Here More Than You: Stories"
Those bastards. Is there anything she ever had that someone didn't manage to take from her? He feels his hands gripping the edges of the couch cushion, how can he be so furious and she's just sitting there numb? So he asks her. "Y'know what I never understood about you, blondie?" he asks.
"What?"
"How come you don't never just get mad like the rest of us?" People take advantage of Juliet's inherent goodness, they always have, and she goes and tries to do the right thing. And time and time again, she just gets fucked over. Maybe for once she should just do all the wrong things and see how that works for awhile.
"Because, James, if I got angry, I could stay angry forever. So. It's a rainy day. Can we just sit here on the couch and watch a silly movie? Please?" She leans back into the corner of the couch, pokes him with her foot.
"What, you playin' footsie with me now to distract me?"
"Pretty much. Hey, did I ever tell you what my favorite silly movie used to be? Before the island, I mean?"
He searches his memory. "Don't think so..."
"Airplane," she replies, arching an eyebrow.
He laughs. "Oh HELL no, we ain't watchin' that!"
She grins. "I didn't expect to. But do you have Back to the Future?"
"Hell yeah, whaddya think Miles an' Hugo an' I watch when they come visit?"
"You see them?"
"Yep. Jin sometimes, too."
She looks surprised. "That's great. Wow. How are they?"
"Well, you know. Hurley's got his chicken empire." He chuckles. "He's been pretty good lately, actually. Sane. Think you scared the shit out of him when you called him, though." He winks. "Miles is ... Miles. Still doin' that spiritualist fraud shit. He's happier, though. Better than in Dharma. Finally found himself a decent girl, too -- the big horndog. Jin and Sun, you know, they ... With the reset, they didn't have their daughter no more."
Her hand flies to her mouth, her face full of compassion. "Oh no. It hadn't -- it hadn't even crossed my mind. Oh no. How are they?"
"They were... Well, pretty devastated. They've adopted two little girls, though. Sang-hi and... uh ... Kyung-hwa? Haven't met the little one yet, though. Sang is a sweetie. Not mouthy yet like they get 'round Clem's age. She's 'bout four. The little one's just over a year."
"It's hard to think about. The people who weren't better off with the reset."
Is she trying to ask about Kate? He barely has time to wonder, or formulate a response, before she stands. "OK, mindless movie time. I'm serious. At least you still have DVDs and not some weird future-y thing, right?"
"Well, ah, technically they're Blu-Ray now."
She rolls her eyes. "Just stop talking."
Despite all the coffee, before they're halfway through the movie, she nestles her head into her shoulder. He watches her eyes lower, drop closed. Watches her as she tries to fight sleep, gives up. He looks at the way her eyelashes curl and how she shifts, a little fitfully, in her sleep.
He's not quite sure when he falls asleep either, he hadn't even felt particularly tired but he must have been lulled into it watching her. When he wakes up, the TV screen a solid blue square, he's sprawled across the couch and she's wedged in between him and the back of the couch, her head on his chest, a strand of blond hair across his lips.
What the...? They'd shifted unconsciously into the exact position they'd taken whenever they'd fallen asleep together on their crappy narrow couch in Dharmaville.
He moves slightly to unearth an arm, to brush her hair out of his face, but goddamn, it smells so good, even though it smells of the shampoo from upstairs, her hair somehow still smells exactly like he'd remembered, and he's paused with a handful of her curls draped across his palm when she blinks open her eyes.
"Um," she says, blushing, making no effort to move.
"Guess we fell asleep," he mumbles, letting go of the strand her hair.
She doesn't say anything for a moment, just looks at him expressionlessly, and he listens to the steady splatter of the rain outside, sounding just like rainy season on the island, and for a second they could have been on their tiny little couch in their tiny little yellow house in Dharmaville.
"Guess we were both tired," she says, and attempts to free the arm that's wedged, impossibly, under his right shoulder.
He tries to shift to the opposite side so she can free her arm and this should be awkward and it is, but somehow it's also not, and as she tries to pull out her left arm, she somehow fails to balance with the right, and she crashes back down to his chest and they smirk and OK, maybe it's more than a little awkward.
"You settin' up shop here or somethin'?" he teases.
She doesn't try to move again for the moment, just looks at him with her poker face.
"'Cause ya know... I ain't complainin'."
He watches the blush deepen slightly (is it just his imagination or has she been blushing practically this entire morning?), and she lets a slight smile replace the poker face and suddenly he realizes he can't resist anymore. Whatever fucked-up things are playing across her memories, they're not there right now, and he wants this and he's guessing by the fact that she's not moving away that she does too, and someone's gotta be first, and he reaches around her and flattens his hand against her lower back.
The smile fades from her face, replaced by surprise and uncertainty. He reaches up with his other hand and cups the side of her face. "Jules," he whispers, a question on his voice, and she answers him when she dips her head down to meet his lips.
Her mouth is warm and soft and sweetly inviting, and he curls his fingers around to grasp the nape of her neck and her lips part and he forgets his own name as the kiss deepens. It quickly moves beyond tentative as she reaches to grasp the back of his head, her fingers knotting into his hair, and hers has fallen around them like a sweet blond curtain, and nothing has ever tasted or felt as good as it does right now.
