*wails* is this really the last chapter!? Well, not including the epilogue anyways... I'll post the epilogue soon guys, And there'll be an important question for you so please stay tuned to answer it!
Thanks for all of my faithful followers and reviewers; you know how much you mean to me. Please, read!
Enjoy!
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Chapter 29
I watched through hazy eyes from where I knelt on the ground, feeling my life slowly leech away like ashes floating away on the wind as Melkor looked sternly at the cloud of darkness that leered at him with fiery red eyes and teeth that were like daggers.
"I walked through the Void alone, thinking of many things, and you- against my will- used my thoughts of the flame to produce feelings within me so that you could take over my body and soul. I was the lord of chaos and you were the part of me that was able to create that chaos even as I balanced it, and yet you in your lust for complete chaos and domination overthrew my will." Melkor said, and I smiled as I heard his audible voice for the first time, beautiful and strong, filled with power.
"I tried to get you to see the benefits of ruling the universe, but you refused to listen. What else could I do but take you over since I had no body of my own?" Morgoth snorted.
"I was not created to bring chaos. I was created to balance it. But you- you have overstepped the boundaries set upon you by the One." Melkor declared frostily.
"You cannot stop me!" Morgoth roared, towering over Melkor. "I am chaos and destruction!"
"And I am charged with the protection of order and peace, in which I have admittedly failed." Melkor admitted calmly. I suddenly realized that someone was holding me gently, helping me sit up to see Melkor, and recognized Esgalnoron's clothes. I squeezed his hand gently, and I felt a tear drop onto my hair.
"This is not over. You think you have defeated me- fool! You have made me stronger. You may have weakened me for a time, but I shall start again; and then there shall not be Melkor to hinder me!" Morgoth began to laugh, the sound of it making my collar seem to constrict. I reached up and clutched the thing, futilely pulling at it for air. Morgoth faded away, the black miasma dissipating in the air along with the laughter.
There was a silence, just as I struggled to sit up and retched miserably, shaking as I clawed at the collar. "Master, please-!" I cried weakly, and in a moment Melkor was kneeling at my side, removing the collar with gentle fingers. I collapsed back into Esgalnoron, feeling pain everywhere. The battle field erupted, everyone resuming the battle as the orcs began to flee and the Elves began to overrun the others.
In a moment I felt several people rush to where I was, just as Melkor lifted me into his arms gently. I smiled faintly up into his face. "Master." I said softly, and he smiled back gently, brushing a hand over my hair.
"Yes, Caladiel. I am here, brave one. Thank you, for giving me back my life and a chance to serve my Atar once more." He said tenderly, rocking gently as though I were his child.
"It was my duty, master. Thank you for allowing me to serve you, if even for a very short time." I answered, then looked up at him. "Please, master. Where is-" I gave in to a spasm of coughing, blood splattering my clothes. I grimaced as I was handed over to someone else.
"Oh dear one. What have you done?" Finrod's voice asked me mournfully, and I looked up at him.
"My duty, my king." I answered with a lopsided smile. "I'm sorry for anything I might have said-"
He placed a hand on my lips gently. "No, child. You have done well, and served me just as faithfully as I would have expected from anyone. Be at peace." He said, kissing my forehead as from liege to vassal. Maeglin bent over my face, tears streaming down his cheeks.
"Please don't leave us, Nana." He rasped, shaking his head. "Tye melin, Nana. Don't leave." He begged hoarsely, and I managed to reach up to kiss his cheek.
"Take care of yourself, my little prince. Please, if you can find it in your heart, befriend Eärendil. Tell him all you know of me. I love you too, Maeglin. Please take good care of Faelon for me." I said, and he nodded wordlessly as Finrod hugged his sobbing form gently.
I looked up at the next person, and smiled in relief to see Sauron. "Well, I feel overrated." I attempted to joke weakly.
"Don't jest." Esgalnoron snapped somewhere beside me. "What sort of person goes through the pain you did?" He asked shakily. I shook my head.
"I didn't do anything, Esgalnoron. All I did was offer the Faithful another chance. All I did was give back what I was given in the first place. It was never mine." I said weakly, and then grasped Sauron's hand, struggling to focus on his face.
"Please Ada, I love you." I said, just as drops of liquid landed on my cheeks and splattered. They seemed to burn red spots into my skin.
"You promised." Mairon's voice was flat and broken, like the glass beads that fell off of my own face.
"Some things I have no control over, as hard as that seems to believe." I tried to laugh, only to go into a paroxysm of pain as I coughed up more blood. I clutched his hand tightly, panting. "My body is falling apart from the inside, because the flame was what held me together. Please, before I leave, let me see him." I begged, and he nodded woodenly.
I closed my eyes wearily, and a few moments later heard someone say my name brokenly. I opened my eyes heavily and managed to see Ancalagon through swollen eyes, managing a final, genuine smile. "Please don't let them remove my ring." I requested. "I am proud to have been called the wife of Ancalagon the Black." I whispered, reaching up with the rest of my strength to cup his cheek. "All this time, I searched for a place I could call home. But now I realize: my home was always right there in front of me, and I never saw it. Home is where the heart is. My home was- is- with you." I struggled to stay awake.
"I love you, Caladiel. You are my light." Ancalagon choked. My hand fell away, and I felt lips gently kissing my own.
I see now, Atar. Through all of my sorrows and suffering, I have now found joy and peace in the end because of all of the friends and people I have come to love and be loved by in return. Through the scars of my experiences, I have grown wiser; and I have passed through the fire to become pure gold- I have become perfected. There is no greater happiness than this.
"Remember us, Caladiel." Melkor's voice whispered in my ear. "This is not the end..."
And everything slowly spiraled into blackness, where the stars wheeled overhead and each day was as a thousand years. You were right, Olórin. You just didn't mention how hideous it is for all its beauty.
_Silmarillion_Dark_Lords_Silmarillion_
A steady beeping sound brought me to consciousness, and my mind seemed to spin in circles as I slowly peeled my eyes open.
"Oh thank God, you're awake! Can you hear me? If you can hear me, try to speak, Celine." A concerned, relieved, hopeful voice said. That was an order. It snapped me into action, and I opened my mouth.
"I hear you." I rasped, struggling to adjust my eyes to the sudden light that crashed against my eyes.
"Thank God." The voice said in heavy relief, and someone helped me to sit up carefully. The steady beeping continued, and sounded eerily familiar to my ears. Where in the galaxy was I?
"Where am I?" I whispered, finally managing to open my eyes. The first thing I saw was wires in front of my face, and it shocked me fully awake.
"You are at the hospital, Celine. Your mother will be so happy to hear you're awake. You've been in a coma for four years." Said the nurse, and I felt the blood drain from my face.
"What happened?" My voice must have sounded panicked, because the nurse immediately moved into my vision, her face worried. The beeping, which I now realized as a heart monitor, began speeding up.
"Please, calm down Celine. You were badly injured when a container of radiation flew through the window of your house. You threw yourself in front of your mother, becoming injured by the flying glass and inhaling enough radiation to kill a bull." The nurse said calmly, and my mind whirled, trying to process the information. Radiation? But that meant- radiation causes mutation!
"Can I have a mirror?" I rasped, and the nurse gave me a sharp look.
"I don't think-"
"Please!" My voice must have come out a lot harsher than I realized, because the nurse sighed before nodding.
"Try to stay awake as best you can." She said, and scurried out. I closed my eyes. I was back home. Or rather, I was back to my original world. Tears streamed down my cheeks. I already missed Arda, my home. The oxygen mask over my face made hissing noises, and I reached up, pulling it off as I took in a lungful of air. Why radiation?
"Are you able to breathe well?" A masculine voice startled me, and I turned my head to see a man sitting in the corner of the room, a small smile on his face.
"I- yes. Thank you." I answered, somewhat disoriented by his sudden presence.
"You look just as beautiful as I remember, even if you were a bit dirtier the last time." The man remarked, and a frisson of- something- ran down my spine. Not fear...
"Have I- met you before?" I asked, my voice frail.
"Not here. But yes, we have before." He answered, and stood. "I've just stopped by to give you something." He said with a kind smile, and walked over to my bed, pressing something into my thin hand. In fact, I felt thin, as though I had been in very poor health for a long time. I felt like paper.
"You'll get better now, I think." He said with a faint smile, and bent to press a kiss to my forehead. It was such a familiar gesture that felt so right, and I gasped just as the door opened. The nurse came in, but when I blinked, the man was nowhere around. Or was he a man? My hand slid the object in my palm under the sheet, and the nurse- Cassie, by her name tag- came over.
"Here." She said, and handed me a hand mirror, moving the mask from my other hand and putting it away. I weakly propped the mirror up on my lap, and bent my face to look into it. My fingers trembled from the effort.
"Your mother will be here soon." Cassie remarked gently, and I suddenly smiled. Radiation indeed. My eyes that had been brown before were now half brown and half pale blue, and my new hair had grown out completely white. Tears once more sprang to my eyes, and I let the mirror drop as I turned to the sympathetic-looking nurse.
"Thank you." I whispered. "I love my new look." I said with a tremulous smile, and she looked surprised before smiling back widely.
"It's an interesting mutation that you seem to pull off wonderfully." She answered softly, and the door opened. Cassie left as my mother appeared at my bedside.
"Oh Celine!" She cried, and broke down sobbing, kneeling beside my bedside. I closed my eyes, leaning wearily against the pillows as I smiled faintly, placing a bandaged hand poked with needles onto her head.
"I'd do it again if I had to." I croaked, feeling my voice give out. "Besides, aren't you happy for me? I got a new look." My voice petered out, and she looked up at me with a tearful, wobbly smile.
"Oh Celine." She whispered. "You cannot imagine what I went through, knowing that it was because of me you got so badly hurt and I was only mildly injured. It should have been me." She choked, but I shook my head.
"No, Mom. It had to be me." I answered, closing my eyes. "I had a visitor, and he gave me this. Can you please open it?" I requested, reaching out my hand and placing the object into her palm. It turned out to be an iPod, with something dangling from it by a string. My mother unattached the string.
"A ring! Now, who would give you this?" She asked with a puzzled look.
"An old teacher." I answered, and she gave me the ring. I slipped it on my left ring finger tenderly, fingering the mithril band and feeling it seem to grow warm under my fingertips. There were a few clicks as mom opened the phone, and then the sound of a sound track beginning to play. I felt mom watching me carefully, I but I didn't care as I just sat there, tears streaming down my cheeks as I listened to "The Call" by Regina Spektor.
"It somehow seems to fit you." Mom murmured. "I wonder which teacher gave you this."
But my heart had already lightened to the degree where I was absolutely ecstatic. I would see them again. My family. And this time, I wouldn't be alone. Mom would go with me.
"I bought something for you a little while ago, thinking that you might like him. You've wanted one for so long that I finally gave in." My mother sighed, and I opened my eyes to look at her tiredly.
"I'll go bring him, and after that I'll let you rest." She said, and I nodded. She left, and I clutched the iPod in my ringed hand, closing my eyes.
Yes, master. I'll come back, whenever you call me. Thank you, Eru- God. Just please, comfort those I left behind me... Help them to get along without me, that they might think of me with smiles and not tears.
The door opened again, and my mother crept back in quietly. "Hospitals usually don't allow this, but I don't care what they say." She whispered, and I turned to see her holding something in her arms. There was a faint yapping sound, and a warm, little, squirming bundle of fur was deposited into my arms.
The face of a little pup looked into mine, and his little head tilted as his amber eyes looked at me with a gaze that was far too intensely intelligent to belong to a dog- no, a wolf, by his pointed, tufted, bushy blue ears that flicked. His paws were a peculiar shade of rust, and the rest of his fur was black, blue, and white.
"His color was so interesting I knew you'd like him." Mom said in a pleased tone, and I saw the pup wink at me. Tears sprang to my eyes as I clutched the wolfling and cuddled it.
"Thank you so much, Mom. I'm sure he'll help me recover faster." I said thickly, and she smiled, kissing my cheek, which I returned.
"Sleep well, honey. I'll be back first thing tomorrow morning, okay?" She whispered, and I nodded slightly. "We'll name him tomorrow, hmm?" She said, and crept back out. I made sure that no one was around before shifting so I was lying back down, while the pup squirmed under the covers, poking his head out and snuggling into my side.
~Nice to see you, new owner.~
"Love you too, big brother- Esgalnoron." I whispered, and fell asleep with a smile that lingered throughout the night.
~Love you, little sister- Caladiel.~
