Okay, this is what happened. Last night, Mai-chan told my mom there was someone at the door named Sherry who wanted to talk to her. Turned out she was one of those people who go door-to-door surveying people, you know? Anyways, her name being Sherry gave SG-chan a cracky idea; namely, Vermouth as a telemarketer or something like that XD Thanks go to KSA Key-chan and Abs. from the DCTP forum for letting SG-chan use...something. Not saying what, cause that'd be spoilers otherwise! ^^


Day Jobs

Rating: PG-13

Word Count: 593

Conan was bored. Extremely bored.

Mouri hadn't really been getting any cases lately, and even the dead bodies that seemed to follow him everywhere had slowed down. Ran was doing laundry at the moment, the Shonen Tantei were at various family functions, and Haibara, damn that demon spawn, had merely smirked evilly at him over the phone (yes, it was possible, dammit!) and told him that if he was so bored, maybe she could call Ran and give her a hint as to where her errant not-quite-boyfriend was. Hanging up the phone quickly, Conan vaguely wondered if the mini-scientist had a child version of PMS or something.

Shortly after his conversation with the demon spawn known as Ai Haibara, the phone rang.

"Hello?" he answered it.

"Hello," a familiar voice sultrily greeted. "I'm with Breathe Freely, and I was wondering if the lady of the house would mind taking a survey on our newest products."

Conan quickly hung up, eyes wide in fear. Why the hell was Vermouth calling the house as a telemarketer??

"Conan-kun?" Ran asked, coming into the room. "Who was that on the phone?"

"Oh, uh, wrong number, Ran-neechan!" he replied nervously.

"Oh. Well, I'm thinking of ordering pizza for dinner, so I won't have to wash dishes for a change. What kind of toppings do you want?" Ran inquired.

"Anything's good, really," Conan beamed. Smiling, Ran went to go order the pizza. Just then the doorbell rang.

"Could you get that, Conan-kun?"

"Hai!" he chirped cheerfully. Going to the door, Conan stood on tiptoes to reach the knob. Upon opening it, however, he stared in shock.

It was Vodka. In a green and red plaid kilt.

"Would you like to buy a bagpipe?" the burly man asked gruffly. Conan stared for another second before slamming the door. "I hate this job," Vodka growled, crushing the bagpipe he held in his fist.

"Conan-kun, what was that?" Ran came in from the other room.

"Ran-neechan, there's a scary man at the door!" Ha! Take that, Vodka! Face the Wrath of Ran for scaring her little charge! Conan barely was able to stop himself from laughing maniacally.

"Girl Scout cookies?" he heard Ran say from the doorway, and did a double take.

Creeping up behind his not-quite-girlfriend, the shrunken tantei gaped. Just a moment ago Vodka had been wearing a kilt and selling bagpipes. Now he was wearing an oversized camp counselor uniform, holding boxes of Girl Scout cookies.

I am just going to go lay on the couch, and when I open my eyes, this will all be one craaazy dream. Yeeaah. So, he did exactly that. For exactly thirty seconds Conan had his eyes closed, then he opened them.

The sun was shining through the Detective Agency windows, the world looked perfectly normal, and as Ran walked through the living room to the kitchen, there were no Girl Scout Cookies to be seen. Conan was convinced the worst was over; it had all just been a dream.

Then the doorbell rang- again, if he wanted to remember that craaazy dream he'd just had.

Going up to the door, Conan heard a voice on the other side say, "Pizza delivery." He frowned. That voice sounded familiar. Where had he heard it before…?

Opening the door, he looked up to see the delivery man. Who had cold, killer eyes. And long silver hair. And whose smile looked like it was composed of fangs. Conan's brain promptly decided to take a nap, and he passed out.


Cookies to anyone who can figure out what was up with Vodka! Oh, and SG-chan credits/blames Morwen Mai for the bagpipes XD And, yes, Conan is a vindictive little hellion x3 Hope everyone enjoyed, and don't forget to review!