Vine - Asshole genie, patrickwilliamcharlton
Kenny kicked a stone over the side of the bridge as he crossed, heading into the forest that surrounded the small mountain town. He was on a mission today, and nothing was going to stop him. He had heard from Cartman (not the most reliable source), that there was a genie out in the woods who would grant people wishes. Well, he definitely had a wish, and there was in harm in going and checking out this potential genie.
As he walked, he wondered if this was a good idea. What if he got his wish them immediately died? Karen would never know what happened to him, or his friends. He doubted his parents would even notice, but he didn't want to make his sister cry. He didn't want to be that kind of brother. Lost in thought, he didn't see the figure in front of him until they collided. Kenny bounced off of them and hit the ground with a grunt, looking up at who the person was.
He blinked in surprise, having not expected to see Satan of all people standing before him.
The red man stared down at him, then offered a hand. "Sorry, kid. You alright?" he asked, helping Kenny get to his feet.
Pulling his hood down, Kenny nodded. "Uh, yeah. What are you doing here? Aren't you supposed to be in Hell torturing people or something?"
Satan let out a sigh and sat on a tree stump. "Technically yes," he said, "but I can also do whatever I want, so I decided to come up here for a little while. I can't stay long, but I wanted to enjoy nature for as long as possible. Then some little fat kid found me and started asking for things. I gave him something to make him go away."
"Stupid Cartman," Kenny hissed under his breath. Of course it was too good to be true, and of course only Cartman would forget what the fucking ruler of Hell looked like. Pinching the bridge of his nose (a habit he had picked up from Stan), he exhaled slowly before looking back up at the giant red demon.
"The only reason I came was become the fat kid told me there was a genie out here. Maybe you can't help me, but do you know anyone who can? I'm kind of desperate," he said.
"What is it you need?" Satan adjusted himself on his make-shift chair, attempting to look more professional. "Maybe I can help."
"I have a curse, and I want it to go away," the boy explained.
"A genie will always try to trick you, be careful what you wish for," the demon warned.
"I wish I was dead."
This was clearly not what the other had expected to hear, and for a moment, the two stared blankly at one another. Finally, Satan said, "... You are now immortal."
Kenny's eyes widened. "What?!"
"Yeah! I told you to be careful what you wished for!"
"I'll already immortal, you red dick!" Kenny yelled. "I don't want to be! I want to be able to stay dead when I die!"
"Well, fuck you, kid! Good luck getting out of your immortality!" The ground opened under the hulking demon, and he descended into Hell, cackling all the way and leaving the stunned boy in his wake.
When he snapped out of his shock, Kenny ran to the spot Satan had disappeared and stomped on the ground repeatedly. "Fuck you, fuck you, fuck you!" he shrieked. He continued to scream until he was out of breath, then let himself flop back onto the ground.
He covered his face with his arm, shaking slightly as tears welled in his eyes. This was so unfair... He just wanted to be a normal kid, why was that so hard to understand? Why couldn't he have that? The sound of approaching footsteps got him to sit up, and he watched the path the sounds were coming from.
Of all the people in town who could have entered the clearing, Kenny did not expect to see Butters. The two stared at one another, and Kenny was confused why Butters' face morphed from surprise to concern.
"Hey, Kenny," the new comer greeted. "What are ya doing over here? Are you alright? You look like you were cryin'."
Kenny rubbed his eyes quickly, scrubbing away the tears. "Hi, Butters. I'm fine, just hanging out," he said, laying back. "Want to join me?"
"Nah, I can't stay for long. Eric just told me there was something cool out here he wanted me to see. H-Have you seen anything neat out here?" he asked. "Did Eric tell you the same thing as me?"
"Cartman is dumb," Kenny answered, then looked over at him and grinned, raising an eyebrow. "Unless he wanted you to find me. I mean, I'm pretty great after all."
The boy blushed, but smiled. "Awe, geez, Ken, I think you're just swell." He moved closer and sat on the ground beside him. "I guess I can stay a few minutes. It gives you the chance to tell me what was upsetting you."
Kenny sighed, having hoped Butters wouldn't want to talk about it. "It's nothing, Butters, really. Don't worry about me."
"Now, how am I suppose to not worry about you? You're my friend, aren't ya? Of course I'm gonna worry if I see you bein' all sad." He laid down in the grass beside the other, giving him as stern a look as he could. "Now tell me."
Figuring he had no reason not to, Kenny told his friend exactly what was wrong. "I hate being immortal, Butters. I want to be able to die and stay dead. It hurts to die, and sometimes it's really scary. I just... I want to be normal." He fell silent, expecting Butters to call him crazy and leave. But that wasn't what happened. Instead, he felt a hand touch his shoulder lightly, and he looked over. He had to blink a few times to bring Butters' face into focus, having not noticed that he had begun to cry again.
"Kenny, I'm sorry..." Butters' voice was filled with actual regret. "I'm sorry, I'm suppose to be your friend and I didn't know you were hurting like this. I may not know what you're talking about, but I'm here for you. You can always tell me when you're feeling sad or scared."
Sitting up, Kenny locked eyes with him. "Listen to me, dude. The things that happen to me, well, they're terrible. Awful, horrible things. All the time. As much as I want someone to remember, I don't want that person to be you. You're one of the sweetest people I've ever met, and I don't want you to have to ever deal with that."
"Well, that's a real problem, Kenny." Butters stood up, putting his hands on his hips and looking down on the other. "Because I'm a tough lil' guy, and now that I know this, there isn't any way I'm gonna forget again."
He darted forward, pressing a soft kiss to Kenny's forehead before bouncing back. Kenny was left speechless as the boy waved and sad a goodbye, then set out back down the path. When the sound of his footsteps had faded, Kenny felt his face flush as he processed what had happened.
Letting a smile form on his face, he chuckled and shook his head, laying back down. Maybe things wouldn't be so bad from now on.
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