Sorry for the short chapter, this one and the next are just fillers. It's my birthday so I didn't have much time. I promise next chapter will be twice as long.

Disclaimer: I own nothing.

Chapter 29- You know you've gone crazy when...

Dear Diary, am I talking too much? I guess I would since I'm having a one-sided conversation with myself. The week passed by, awkwardly enough. Every time I tried to talk to Sesshomaru about anything, I would freeze up and run away, and before I knew it, Friday arrived and Spring Break was going to start. I probably wouldn't see Sesshomaru for the next two weeks so today had to be the day I speak to him. I was ready to get back into a steady relationship with him. I wanted us to be together, in love. I want so much to make things right, but every instinct in my body is telling me to be careful. What you don't know can't hurt you.

After my session with Lily, things just kept getting better which was weird because this never happens to me. She told me pretty soon we would be done and to tell you the truth, I was scared. What if I went back down the hill again? I didn't want to see what was down there again. I had to have someone who would help me through this after I was done. That was why I needed to talk to Sesshomaru, if I didn't freeze and run away like a girl on a crush first.

So then why was I just standing in front of his closed door? He was probably in there, marking something, waiting for me to go inside. I shouldn't be nervous around him. I never really have before the…we had sex for Christ sakes! I should just be marching right up to him and kissing him senseless! I mean, I was allowed, right?

This was ridiculous! He could smell me, so then why didn't he just open the door? Ugh, this was annoying. And before I knew it, the bell had rung, letting me my chance might've just gone out of the window. "Great," I mumbled, walking away down the crowded halls.

The few hours before lunch hit were torture, and boring. It was the last day, what else was there to do besides watch random movies and let my anxiety rise to the tip top of a mountain. So I decided to skip the next period! Whatever! It was better than watching a sappy romance film. And besides, sitting right beside Sesshomaru's classroom door seemed like a better use of my time. He was lecturing, as always. I should know from his final class he never did anything fun, and the one time we did watch a movie, it ended up being an educational historical documentary on demons in the 1600's that made me fall asleep. It sucked for me because there was a pop quiz after that I, of course, failed. We had a long talk that night and he made me watch it at his apartment. Most boring night ever.

I envied the people who got to start this Spring break early. My cousins were probably on their way to Fiji, or Florida or where ever it was warm and sunny. I still have those tickets to Fiji, I thought to myself. But I didn't think Sesshomaru would be up for an awkward romantic vacation, and frankly, neither would I. Ami ended up going up North with Shippo to visit his family. She was nervous to travel with Michi, but Shippo reassured her she would be fine. Ayame and Koga went up North too, to Sapporo, to visit her Grandfather. She told me it was something concerning the future of her tribe, whatever that meant. Which now leaves me. I didn't even know what Kagome was doing, and I was pretty sure Sango and Miroku were going to spend the break together. Then there was Jak who was going to New York to visit his new boyfriend. Lucky him. Everyone was going somewhere, leaving me alone. Man, I needed new friends.

"Rin?"

The voice alarmed me and thought it was a teacher, but when I looked up, I saw Kagome and Inuyasha standing over me. I got up and breathed. "You guys scared me. I thought you were a teacher."

Inuyasha rolled his eyes. "If you're scared about getting caught by a teacher why are you sitting outside of Sesshomaru's classroom? Heck, why are you here anyways. If I was to skip out, I would've just left."

"Then why don't you?" I asked, cross.

He looked away. "Keh, I have an English test this afternoon, but I totally would if I could."

"So," Kagome started, pulling away from the subject, "you doing anything this Spring Break, Rin?"

I shook my head. "Besides, babysitting my twin brothers while Jun plays video games, I have no plans."

"Then why don't you come with us?"

"Uh…where?"

"To Hawaii! Inuyasha and his family are going and I need a girlfriend where I can talk about clothes and cute guys on the beach."

"Hey!" Inuyasha growled.

"I don't know," I answered.

"Please?" She said, clasping her hands together. "It's all paid for."

I glanced over at Inuyasha. He didn't seem every happy about it. "I don't want to be a third wheel," I said.

"Oh you won't! Please come."

Inuyasha sighed. "She isn't going to stop until you say yes."

"And you're fine with me coming?" I asked.

"Only if you don't annoy me, I'm good."

"Okay, then, I'm in."

Kagome jumped. "Yay! I'm so excited! We'll have a car pick you up tomorrow morning and we'll see you at the airport!"

I waved them goodbye as they walked away. I really hope this 'vacation' wouldn't me a mistake. But I think I needed it and maybe it was all I needed. I was happy those two sorted it out though. I had heard Kagome stopped talking to Inuyasha for a few weeks and he almost went insane. I guess that was what he gets from cheating on her. Never again would he do that.

The bell rang soon after and the door to Sesshomaru's classroom opened. My heart beat rapidly when I saw him sitting at his desk talking to a student. I waited, watching each of the freshmen leave his room, a few glancing quick looks my way. The girl was still speaking to him when everyone left. Her big, bright smile showed and a small blush appearing on her face too, hitting every nerve with jealously. I knocked on the door once letting both know of my presence and both eyes looked at me. I smiled, "Hey, um, Mr. Takahashi, can I speak to you?"

"One minute please, Ms. Ikeda. Go on, Ms. Abe."

"Well, I was wondering if you could help me understand a bit more. I want to be ready for the final in June."

"Very well. We'll start after break."

"Thank you," she said, walking away, giving me a bit of a sour look before officially leaving the room.

Okay, breathe, Rin. You are in the room, by yourself, with Sesshomaru. Just close the door and do it! Oh god, this was hard. My knees…why were they growing weak? This wasn't going to work.

"Did you need something, Rin?" he asked, organizing his desk like I wasn't even there.

"You know she was flirting with you, right?" I asked, not thinking.

He paused and circled around his desk, looking me straight into my eyes. Oh god. "What do you need, Rin?" he asked more firmly.

My mouth opened but no words came out. I froze again. My mind screamed at me. Run away! Run far away! But I wasn't going to listen to my mind. I wasn't going to run away. I was going to walk out like a normal person.

"Never mind," I said, turning to go.

"Rin."

I paused. "What?"

"Why did you come in here?"

"I told you, never mind."

He grabbed my wrist and I tensed. "You and I both know that isn't true. You've been avoiding me all week. If this is about my car, forget about it. It's fixed. I have insurance for a reason."

"It's not that…" Well sort of. I did pass my driver's test…the written part. I would have to take driving lessons to get my license. I didn't think Sesshomaru would let me drive his car anymore. "…I'm just here to say, I hope you have a good Spring Break."

He let me wrist go, but I was still stiff as a tree. I couldn't do this. Not now.

"You too," he said.

I nodded and left, regretting minutes later. I didn't do anything to help push our relationship together, and because I was being a nervous nelly, I was probably pulling our relationship apart.

I didn't even know why I was so nervous around him! I was so angry at myself! Ugh! He said we could at least be friends so why couldn't I talk to him like a friend would? Oh right, because I was deeply in love with him. I just wanted it to be like it was before, but I knew it would never happen.

I knew his heart though, and I knew he wouldn't do anything to hurt me. I was crazy for him! But when I met him, and I didn't realized that all the confidence I had in our relationship could be shatter by one thing. By something so stupid! Me being so stupid, and not trusting him or our relationship. I was in pain because of this and not because of Mika or the miscarriage. I've realized that it was just me being a total idiot, and now it was probably too late to fix my mistake.

xXx

Dear Diary. Jiro was sick last night. Not just sick as in throwing up, but sick enough to land in the hospital. Mom said to go on the vacation, telling me Jiro would be find and she would call me if anything bad happened. I'm scared. Whatever Jiro has is probably worse than we all realized. I can't lose anybody else. But if Mom said he'll be fine, I have to trust that he will. Still, why do I have the feeling she's lying?

The car dropped me off at the airport around eight in the morning. After being up late, helping my Mom and Dad take care of Jiro, I was exhausted and planned on sleeping on the plane even though it was my first time on one of those large, metal contraptions…that was it; I wasn't going. There was no way in hell I was stepping in those…flying things! They looked heavy and impossible to fly. What if it crashed? Nope, not happening. Goodbye.

"Rin!"

Damn, I was so close. I waved back at Kagome and Inuyasha who were at the ticket counter, walking up to them-trying to not look completely terrified- saying, "Hey guys!"

"Are you excited or what?" Kagome asked.

"So excited," I said, sarcastically.

"Beaches, hot weather, hot guys," she winked.

"You already have a hot guy," I told her. And I should've said that.

"So you think I'm hot?" Inuyasha asked with a smirk.

"Shut up, you know what I mean."

Kagome laughed. "I mean a hot guy for you, silly."

"Keh, why would she need a hot guy? Sesshomaru would kill them if any guy got close to her," Inuyasha said.

Wait…what? Sesshomaru? Coming? My eyes widened. "And I'm out of here," I commented, turning around.

Kagome sighed, grabbing my wrist. "Come on, Rin. Don't be like that."

"Be like what, Kagome? Sesshomaru and I broke up. Beside, it'll be…awkward."

"What? No it won't."

Inuyasha laughed. "You saw her yesterday, Kagome. Rin was filled with butterflies before speaking with Sesshomaru. By the way, how did that go?"

I gave him a cold stare. "What do you think?"

"So you chickened out? Well he can be quite…chilling."

"It wasn't that…wait, why am I talking to you about my private life? It's none of your business."

He put his hands up in surrender. "Hey, whatever. I can care less what you two do."

I turned my attention to Kagome and asked, "Does he even know I'm coming?"

She paused. "Uh, no…not exactly."

"There. Then what do you think he'll say if all of the sudden show up? What if…what if he's with a girl?"

"Seriously?" Inuyasha cut in. "Don't be stupid. Sesshomaru isn't with a girl. He isn't like that."

"Come on, Rin," Kagome added, "You're already here. If you don't want to be around Sesshomaru then…ignore him when we get there. Besides, we'll be shopping and at the beach most of the time, we won't ever run into him."

I sighed heavily. "You aren't going to let me go home, are you?"

"Nope," she smiled. "Let's go!"

Of course Sesshomaru was waiting at the terminal with Inuyasha's parents, and when he saw me, wow I didn't think I've seen his eyes so wide before. Oh this was going to be beautiful.

"Rin? What are you doing here?" he asked with a hint of shock in his voice.

I shrugged. "I don't even know."

"She's here to have fun," Kagome corrected.

"Yeah, to…uh…have fun," I repeated, "and uh…yourself?" God, this was super awkward since he wasn't the one who invited me. Heck, he didn't even know I was going! But in my defense, I didn't know he was going either.

"A break," he said, shortly.

I nodded. And that was it. The plane was leaving in two hours and during that time we didn't even talk to each other. Actually, I avoided him by going into the gift shop and looking through magazines. Then the cashier told me to get out if I wasn't going to buy anything. These airport people were rude! But it was a good thing my plane was leaving. And who, might you ask, was I sitting beside? Well, I think you can figure that one out on your own since the Universe just loves to torment me.

Sesshomaru was already in his seat, reading the newspaper, when I came up. When I stopped, he asked if the seat beside him was mine and I nodded. I was happy they were wider seats then the economy class. I guess that was what you go in Business. Izayoi and Inutashio got to sit up in first class and ended up with the last two tickets, which would be the reason why we weren't up there with them. I didn't really care though.

Anyways, not only was I sitting next to Sesshomaru, my fear of flying or whatever started to overwhelm me. I was not going to freak out though. I was going to keep cool and not show any sign of fear. "Rin?" I squeaked, jumping to the sound of my name.

"Yes?" I answered, tightening my grip on the arm rest.

"Are you afraid of flying?"

I laughed. "No, why…why would you say that?"

"Because your heart is racing a million miles an hour and you're about to take the arm rest off."

I loosened my grip and looked at him. "I thought you couldn't sense my anxiety anymore."

He flipped through his new paper, answering plainly, "I can't, but it doesn't mean I can still hear your heart racing."

"R…right."

The voice overhead told us to prepare for take-off. I was not ready for this. But when I felt Sesshomaru's hand take mine, pulling it to his lap, I felt a little better. "Just relax. Nothing is going to happen."

I held his hand for dear life as the plane took off. The plane shook and my grip tightened, but I was feeling so much better.

Maybe this vacation wouldn't be so bad after all.


Birthday Reviews make me happy! ^^ I can't believe I'm 20 already.

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Updated: December 9, 2014