Chapter 29

BELLAMY:

I was indisbelief. I could not believe that he was saying these things to me. Why had his confidence in me flipped so drastically? And when had he changed his mind? All of his faith was erased. Had he seriously waited until now to tell me how he really felt? Oh, my anger strings were being pulled and bothered. After everything that had happened in the last few days, I could not comprehend this complete one-eighty Dimitri was doing.

"Bellamy, I am asking you not to do this. Please do not go through with this fight." His hands were gripped atop mine, and I could not ignore the appeal coming from his eyes.

I wanted so much to agree to his pleas. Hell, I was having such anxiety, and approaching my own existential crisis about this, that even I was doubting the idea of walking into this whole encounter with Brooklyn Pearce. So, why couldn't I just agree and be done with it? Why couldn't I give up this impending fight?

I knew exactly why I was not willing to abdicate my position. Others had been killed. Brooklyn was planning an attack on any and everyone that I cared for in order to get to me. She'd already made sure that I knew she had killed Preston. My friend and personal Moroi Court liaison had been brutally attacked and killed by Brooklyn. She was trying to get my attention, and she had it.

My brow furrowed, and I lowered my eyes, unable to go on enduring the guilt I was feeling.

"Bellamy, please…"

"I shook my head and opened my mouth, closing it as I carefully thought about my response to Dimitri. "You are going to have to rewind and help me understand this change of heart Dimitri, because I am downright confused." I conveyed my own opinion. "One minute, you are telling Bridgette how much you think that I can do this; on my side, fighting to train me yourself. And now, you are sitting here, doubting me. Which assessment is the truth? What do I believe?"

"I don't doubt you Bellamy." His hands were still held over mine. "But, I have seen the worst possible scenario. I have seen those I cared for destroyed and taken when I wasn't expecting it. I won't…"

I saw him grow introspective and distraught. "Bellamy, run." He said to me. "Just run from this. Survive."

He was telling me to run now? "Weren't you the one to state that we are Guardians? We do not run."

"You are not a Guardian yet." He then said without missing a beat, becoming overwhelmingly insulting.

I had no words except to agree.

"You are right." I returned, removing my hands from under his as I stood over him.

This argument was about to get loud and heated.

DIMITRI:

"You are right Dimitri."

I was quick enough to know that she wasn't actually agreeing with me. She was visibly slighted and becoming increasingly enraged by this conversation. I may have crossed an invisible barrier, and possibly phrased my comment unfairly. I never should have brought up or pointed out her status as a future Guardian, but I had already seen so much horror and ruin in our world, due to Strigoi. I was not about to let Bellamy make the same mistakes I'd seen others make; mistakes that had cost lives.

"I am not a Guardian yet." She went on not agreeing with me in only a way that Bellamy could. "But, you should never tell me to run. It is the complete opposite of what you, Alberta, Bridgette, Yuri, and others consistently scream, drill, and try to make me understand. You cannot switch things up now. You cannot dangle me in front of a menacing Strigoi as bait, and then tell me to run."

She made a good point. I would never tell Bellamy to run from her problems. I could never bring myself to believe that she should run from Strigoi. It went against everything she was taught to believe; everything that she was trained for; and, everything that she would face as a Guardian not long from now. But at the same time, I could not tell her why I was asking her to run from this particular battle.

"Why not?" I growled in argument with her.

She was not backing down, so as she spoke, I turned to the side, still listening, but writing a short note.

"This is my fight. Brooklyn is threatening me. And, if she hurts or god forbid kills anyone else in order to get to me- that will rest on my conscience. Not yours, not Bridgette's, mine. I will not let that happen."

Preston's death had put a sense of vengefulness in her, and I knew all to well how much damage that could do.

"I will not let others die because much like our exalted leader and Queen, Strigoi cannot determine that there is no difference between order and chaos. Their desire to use me does no good to anyone. I am the thing that can either save our world or destroy it. But again, I should make clear that Strigoi cannot see the difference in either."

"I will not let you die in order to prove some convoluted philosophical point Bellamy!" I stood up, angered now by her arguments.

We were both shouting back and forth now, bound to raise the attention of others soon enough.

"What the hell do you want me to do Dimitri. I'm not giving in to fear, but I am open to any other ideas you might possess in that big strategic Guardian brain of yours."

Yup, she was fully riled now, and off on a raging demand to debate this to the end.

Her underlying philosophies were not hard to hear in her debate, so I figured playing on those might do some good.

"I will go with you." I suggested, wondering how well this part of the argument might go over. "We will fight side by side." At least with a little more experience at her side, she would have a better chance and not become so distracted by the reality of the situation.

It didn't have to be me she let tag along with her, but I was willing to make the offer. Plus, breakup or not, if I let anything happen to Bellamy still, Bridgette would come after me with a stake herself, and she would be way more dangerous than any Strigoi.

"You expect me to let you risk your life for me?"

"I expect you to be smarter about this Bellamy. Look farther into this situation and really see what is going on. It's not as clear as you think anymore." My hand met hers again briefly before pulling back. "It takes more than one Dhampir Guardian to kill Strigoi. You know that."

Her arms crossed over her chest as her stance shifted. "Unless the Dhampir has Moroi magic."

"Which you cannot use in battle." I challenged.

"Why not?"

"It is illegal." I could not believe how extremely unreasonable she was being. Most days she kept her logic in tact. "If either the Moroi or Guardian Council finds out… Bellamy," I implored, "what if that is what the Guardian Council is waiting for you to do?" I hinted. "Consider that might be their ulterior motive and plan. What if they are looking for reasons to lock you away or have you destroyed?"

"It is illegal for Moroi to use their magic. There are no laws forbidding Dhampir from using magic against Strigoi." She was too far into her argument to see what I was trying to tell her. "But, Moroi are no longer allowed on the battle field. Besides, if there are no survivors, who is going to be around to reveal my magic?"

"You're trying to get around this on a technicality?" She was exhausting me.

"For crying out loud Dimitri!" She yelled back at me. We were fighting still, and it only felt more and more wrong for us to be at odds with each other. She walked away before either of us could say anything more.

BELLAMY:

This was very wrong. I was fighting with Dimitri, and it was not like him to actually fight back so vehemently or so loudly. And, while I found it quite interesting that his Russian accent could be heard more clearly when he was frustrated, something was wrong. Something was very wrong,

While we were shouting back and forth at each other, Dimitri had taken my hand. It was an intentional move, but I had not realized it at the time. He touched my hand for only a few seconds, telling me to be smarter. He told me to look further into the situation-to see what is really going on. And, like the skillful Guardian ninja he is, Dimitri had managed to slip a small piece of paper into my palm. I ended our argument a bit on the theatrical side, throwing my hands into the air, and leaving the building. I was halfway across campus on a run before pulling the paper from my pocket. I opened it and had to sit down after reading it through.

This is not just about you anymore Bells. The Council is more involved than you know. They are looking for an excuse. The Academy now has eyes and ears. Be prepared to go into this fight soon.

TWO DAYS PRIOR:

DIMITRI:

"We have to tell her." I argued with the Headmistress and a handful of other disputing Guardians.

We were all neck deep in a security meeting about the most recent occurrence, and unfortunately Bellamy's name had come up again. Headmistress Kirova rolled her eyes and frowned, still unhappy with and wary of Bellamy. Ultimately though, she did have to agree with me as I argued.

"Bellamy is the only reason I had such a high level contact so close to Queen Tatiana. Preston was her spy. And, without him we never would've found Bellamy and Christian Ozera on time. Preston stayed in the Moroi Court in his position to aide Bellamy. The only reason he assisted me, or Bridgette Pearce, or any other Guardian is because of a very skilled and intelligent novice. She needs to hear this. She needs to know."

So, Bellamy was pulled from her Russian II class, and ushered straight here to the Headmistress's office. She did not look pleased to be here right now. Yuri stood, offering his chair to her.

"Please sit down Bellamy." I suggested, receiving a rather hard cold stare in place of her refusal. I figured I knew what brought on her distant and acerbic demeanor, but this was not the time to address that headache.

"A body was found outside of the Academy front gates yesterday night. It was intentionally placed there."

Her head tilted to her right. "Moroi, Dhampir, or God forbid, human?"

"Moroi." Alberta replied to her, gaining an equally bitter look in her direction.

I feared her reaction to the next bit of information. "Bellamy, it was Preston Koval."

"Preston." She cleared her throat and closed her eyes for only a few moments. "Was it Strigoi?"

I nodded. "Bellamy, I know that you…"

"Is that all you brought me here for?" She kept that distinct edge of contempt in her tone. I was not aware that she had perfected her own stoic poker face.

"Bellamy." I pushed her to drop her guard for a few minutes.

"I am supposed to be taking a test in Russian right now, and I'm not entirely sure what you want my reaction to be here. I am very sorry that Preston was caught in the crossfire of a war that has been going on for ages, but being kept in the dark and given only small pieces of information is not exactly helpful or trustworthy."

"Kept in the dark? I'm not sure I understand." Alberta made the mistake of bringing up the brightly striped elephant now stuck between us and Bellamy.

"No?" Bellamy was pushing right back at us. "You aren't keeping anything more from me? There is nothing I should know, considering that I am the one in danger still?"

"No." Others agreed.

"Okay." She pursed her lips, and uncrossed her arms. "Are you still unwilling to tell me why Dacia Marovici is casually strolling around the campus out of the blue?"

"We just told you." Alberta was getting just as defensive. "Preston Koval…"

"I know the laws, probably better than most of you as they are continually drilled into me by each Guardian Council member, so you aren't fooling me. Dacia Marovici does not get out of bed for a situation like that. One rogue Strigoi taking a non-royal Moroi life doesn't even register on her radar. Sad, but true." Bellamy informed the room of people. The truth was, she probably did know the rules better than most of us. She also had an inside view of how those rules functioned on a day to day basis.

"The last time Dacia showed up here, I was called into this very room and placated by the Guardian Council." Her eyes met Yuri's, and I wondered what she said in silence at the moment. "I was not sure of their logic then, and I'm still unsure. What I do know, is that I do not trust most of those members as far as I can hurl them." She took a breath, likely coming up with a better way of phrasing her next insult. "So, when I come across Academy Guardians having very quiet secretive conversations with Guardian Council member Marovici," She disdainfully used Dacia's full title, "I get justifiably suspicious and prickly. I'm neither blind nor inept. Do not treat me as such."

She was fascinating me again with her use of language, volume, and tone. It was distracting and impressive still.

"That is enough." Headmistress Kirova raised her voice a few dials. "I think it is time to return to your class. And do please adjust your attitude Miss Pearce." She insisted.

Bellamy did not argue, happy to leave when dismissed. She agreed, but not before finishing her final point.

"Being in the pocket of the Guardian Council is all well and good for some." Her eyes shifted to me again as she walked by. "But, to have the trust and warped guidance of Dacia Marovici only means that you will not hold mine."

Bellamy left the room after that without need for a response or any other comments. Again, I was right. I knew why she had become so testy and mistrusting. Earlier in the day, I had seen Bellamy walking with Mason and their friends. They were laughing and incredibly cheerful. My hope that she would not see me and Alberta standing in conversation with a Guardian Council member went ungranted. Bellamy's eyes were quick. She spotted Dacia, turned her eyes to me after, and then to Mason, all without missing a beat. She must have said something about Dacia to Mason, because he too looked over to the three of us talking, tightening his protective arm around Bellamy.

After Alberta and I were let go by Dacia, Bellamy inevitably wanted her question answered. Why was Dacia on campus talking to us?

"It does not concern you Bellamy." Alberta answered her.

Bellamy knew that was a lie, but she was not given the chance to inquire any further into the issue. I now had the unpleasant task of finding and trying to get through to Bellamy. I wasn't even sure she would listen to me at this point, but I had to try. I found her in the main quad, still flanked by both Mason Ashford and Eddie Castille. They weren't letting her out of their sight, but when she saw me approach, still a good few yards away, I stopped. She said something to the two men, and each turned their head to me before she made her way across the area after a fair amount of debate with herself.

"That was quite the speech in Kirova's office." I attempted to lighten the mood between us, to no avail.

She shifted her weight from one side to the other. "Thank you for telling me about Preston. Knowing that only fuels my desire to kill that bitch. But, I was not joking. If you feel such a great damned need to be in Dacia's good graces and well meaning corruption, be my guest."

"Well meaning corruption?" I held back a laugh with a cough. "Isn't that contradictive?

This gained me no more than a subtle lift of her brow and a sarcastic expression.

"Of course it is. That's the point. I'm sorry." She said. "I cannot stay aboard your train if it is hopping onto the same rails as hers, following behind like a puppy. You are seriously the last person I expected to find at her feet."

Another insult given.

"The Council is in place to protect us Bellamy." I had to hope she could see more than what I was saying out loud to her. "They are designed to keep the peace."

"Wow." She had missed my point entirely, taking a deserved step back. "You drank the punch, didn't you?" She was not letting up. "Does Bridgette know? After all of that time badgering her to quit the Council…"

I gave her a small eyebrow lift of my own.

"You know I used to believe all of the rubbish they spouted off too. I was naïve enough to think all of those things were true. Then, I found out that they are using me."

I didn't answer, so she put her hands up in a surrendering fashion.

"I can't do this. I will not stand here and listen to you defend them after everything."

I gave a single nod. "At least read this." I handed her a folder letter. "It was found with Preston, and it is meant for you."

A couple of days following our embittered words, Bellamy had arrived to the Guardian gym for her training session with Alberta. Alberta was still unaware of the trouble Bridgette and Bellamy endured with the Council, so the things that Bellamy said had hurt. Alberta was stuck welcoming back a royal Moroi who'd been in Austria with his daughter, receiving treatment for his unfortunate disease. Victor and Natalie Dashkov were important enough, and royal, for many Guardians to be given the duty of welcoming them back to St. Vladimir's.

Because I had escaped the draw, I made a point to meet with Bellamy again. She was exiting the weight room, and had surprised me with her punctuality. She'd clearly been here for some time now.

"For the love of God." I heard her say in an unrecognizable manner.

She saw me sitting in a chair, book in hands, waiting on her.

"Are you willing to talk yet?" I asked her nicely.

"Are you still defending Dacia Marovici?"

"We need to talk Bellamy." I made it as much of a command as I could. I had been given information from the Guardian Council, from Dacia herself, and now had to figure out just how to use it. "Sit here. Let's talk about you."

"What about me?"

She sat, and I sat beside her, placing my hands to hers as slowly as possible.

"More importantly, we should talk about you not going into this fight with Brooklyn Pearce. It's suicide."

BELLAMY:

After my run, I returned to the gym, still feeling slightly betrayed, but also a bit apologetic.

"I'm sorry." I felt the need to say, but I got no real reaction.

Fair enough, I thought. The last time I'd said I was sorry, it was preceded with a comment about him being equivalent to a puppy at Dacia's feet. It was a terribly offensive comment, so he had every right to be difficult.

"Really Dimitri, I'm sorry. You are right. "There is no way that I can walk into this terrible nightmare myself. I cannot defeat or even hope to get through round one without help."

He stood as I caved, studying the look on my face.

"So what is your plan?"

"I don't have one anymore. Truthfully, I lost any hope of planning a few weeks ago. My mind has been running a little too free and wild for weeks. Gets harder and harder to hide though."

"You haven't been sleeping." He examined me all over again. "Why?"

I stayed quiet, but that was an even worse decision than admitting why I was not sleeping.

"If you don't tell me I will start making up explanations of my own. Just wait until I get to the creative explanations." He grinned at me as I flipped n my most sardonic gaze.

Unable to resist, I smiled back at him.

"Tell me what is going on."

"Nightmares. I'm having terrible and vivid nightmares."

"About what?"

"Brooklyn." I admitted. "All of these questions of right, wrong, and moral ambiguity keep making me doubt myself, and whether I can actually face her. If you want me to give up this fight, I may soon agree."

"Guardians don't give up." He stated.

"I'm not a Guardian, remember?"

"Close enough."

"Stupid existential crisis." I mumbled.

Dimitri told me about Alberta, and having to greet arriving royals. I made a point to say something far less offensive to her soon, but I wanted to know more first. Punching and kicking heavy objects was a perfect tension reliever. Dimitri and I had agreed not to talk while in the gym, so after sweating and training, he walked with me to my dorm, giving me as much information as I needed.

"You are not going to give in to the Council. You cannot give up this fight. And, since you agree to let me fight with you, we are spending the next two days and nights, training together."

"Because up to this point, you haven't been training me?"

His head moved back and forth. "I don't mean I'm going to train you. I mean that if you and I are fighting Strigoi together, we are going to train together. No holding back. I'm training hard too."

He made sure to mention that I'd be missing a few classes in order to be prepared, and I wondered what the hell I was going to tell Mason and Christian. I was not going to let either of them anywhere near this situation anymore. I was not going to allow Brooklyn the chance to kill them too.

"Your magic is in question here Bellamy." Dimitri went on.

"Why?""

"The Council expects you to use your magic in battle. It is exactly what they want."

"And so I cannot use it. How do you know all of this?"

We sat down outside of my building. "My conversation with Dacia. She was quite focused on your magic, rather than on your schooling or combat progress. I know all about the corruption in there Bells. You know I do. So, after a few minutes of knowing there was something wrong with her questions, I came up with the most likely theory. Alberta and Yuri seemed to agree with me."

"They can lock me up for a number of reasons if I use my magic in battle. They intentionally paired me with Christian so that I could learn to use my magic, and so I'd want to use it. They never let me train it at the other Academy visits. And now, all of a sudden…"

The wheels were spinning at full speed now.

"Do you think that the Queen was in on this? And, I only ask because of Christian. I know that Tatiana and other high ranking royals would love to erase the Ozeras from the royal line of succession. Getting Chris to aide my magic training would be justified reason in their eyes to go on the offense."

Dimitri gave a nod of agreement. "It's very possible."