I hope this chapter isn't too crappy! It's been a busy week.


I never imagined that becoming a T.V. star would involve so much paperwork. Since getting the part on Wednesday morning, it seems like every day I have another contract and agreement to sign, which Sheldon insists on reading. (You know, since he's the expert in contract making and general bat shit craziness.)

I've received my first call sheet through email already, which has dictated that filming is going to begin Monday morning at 4:00 A.M., but my call time is actually 2:30 A.M. for hair and makeup and costuming. I have to go for fittings Sunday at noon.

Holy shit.

This is already flying. Since NBS is pressed to get the show out by fall, we have to start like, yesterday. Which means, my weeks are going to be pretty full, but I'm sure the paycheck at the end of the week is going to make me happy. They haven't told me how much I'm making yet. Whatever it is can't be worse than the money I made as a waitress.

So, my ass is going to make the most of tonight which is technically Laundry Night, but which Sheldon and I had to make a very technical stipulation that we would do laundry during the day. I'm a little worried about how my new schedule is going to screw with him, but that's the thing. I've waited too long for this.

So this is my last free night for a while and I'm planning on making the most of it. Which means, I'm pulling out that green dress that I thought about wearing on my date with Leonard back in January. If that doesn't get his attention, I'm pulling out the old Wonder Woman suit. Or going the full monty and jumping on him like a spider monkey.

Maybe I am more like the primates than I thought.

I also have it on good authority that Sheldon has been doing research on where to take me on a date. Mostly because Amy texted me earlier.

Hey Bestie, Sheldon asked me where he should take you tonight. I suggested a place where he could show you off like the arm candy you are. Don't worry. This is an ears only operation.

I'd stared at the paragraph for a full minute, trying to decipher what the hell it meant before responding.

What is an ears only operation?

Spy lingo. We're keeping Leonard in the dark. Do you know morse code by any chance?

Not even slightly.

Don't worry, Bestie. I got your back.

I know she's got my back. Even if she is slightly obsessed with it, at least I know I can count on her to cover my back. Painstakingly, I straighten my hair with the flat iron and put the front part back.

Again, I know this stuff doesn't matter to Sheldon, but it matters to me. How am I supposed to make my boyfriend want me if I don't even want me? I love feeling attractive and this dress makes me feel attractive. I've never gotten a chance to wear it after finding it on seventy-freaking-five percent off! Sure, it's probably last season. But I love this dress. It matches my eyes and it makes me feel like J. Lo. Minus the giant booty.

I am finally just finishing up around six when I hear Sheldon answer the door and speak to someone. Leonard and Amy are gone for the night, so it's not one of them. I peek my head out and see Sheldon shutting the door again, dressed in his black suit. I love that on him. He looks like a man, not a six year old. Which is good, because I kind of don't want to feel like I am going to end up on To Catch A Predator even though I know he's five years older than me. Because I'm planning to debauch him just a little tonight. I'm not going to violate him, I'm just going to give a little push in the right direction.

Hopefully.

"Sheldon?" I call out, walking toward him. "Who was—?" My words die out when I see the bouquet of flowers he's holding. He looks a little uncomfortable, but holds them out.

"Social protocol—"

"Don't you dare talk about social protocol," I warn, giving him a look and taking the flowers – lilies – from him. "Spontaneity, Sheldon."

"These are for you," He tells me, sounding as if he's forcing every word out. The gesture is not unappreciated, but it is amusing anyway.

"Thank you!" I grin and his eyebrows furrow worriedly.

"Sarcasm?"

"Not even a little," I assure him, leaning up to kiss his cheek as I pull the little card out.

Your hair is like the purest gold and your eyes the most sparkling green…

Slowly, I look up at him in suspicion, the suggestion of a smirk twisting my lips a little.

"You let Amy write the card, didn't you?" I say and notice his eye twitch. That does it. I crack up.

"I don't want Amy's words, Sheldon," I tell him, trying to sound stern and only succeeding in giggling more.

"Don't worry, you big dummy," I laugh, laying the flowers on the counter as I move to retrieve a vase from the cupboard, "the flowers are enough. I don't want some stupid sappy card that doesn't mean anything." He visibly relaxes…well, for Sheldon at least. "So whatcha got in store for me, MoonPie?" I ask, setting the flowers into the vase and making sure no little tiny kittens can jump up and get to them. He's going to chill in my room with his toys and litter box while we're gone. I don't want to risk him ripping anything of Sheldon's. God forbid he ruin the toys…the toys! Oh, the horror!

Sorry, that was melodramatic.

"As always, your grammar is deplorable," Sheldon says, though I notice with less snark than usual, "We will have dinner at Angelina's Bistro followed by dancing at The Ballroom Center. I assume this to be acceptable by your standards, considering prior to this your idea of a good time was dinner at a T.G.I. Fridays with a man you hardly knew followed by an evening of casual sex."

"Jesus." I groan, wincing. Yeah, it has been over a year, but I don't want to hear about that. The worst part is, the smart ass is right. "Honey, you really need to learn when to shut your hole." I say this because even though what he said was highly offensive, he believes he's just stating a fact. He's not being purposefully hurtful…this time.

"Are my plans not preferable to you?" He inquires innocently, making me want to slap him and kiss him at the same time.

"No. You're absolutely right. Just lay off the bratty comments. No talking about who I used to date or the things I used to do. That is over," I give him a pointed look, "Deal?"

"Very well," He nods, still not getting my point, but at least dropping the subject. "You look very aesthetically pleasing."

"Wha—?" I laugh, shaking my head. "Thank you. So do you."

A tiny mewl makes me turn my head and see Flash chasing a tiny little ball with a bell inside. He looks so sweet and happy, I pout my lips a little at the thought of leaving him all by himself.

"Come on, little guy," I laugh, picking him up with one hand and the toy with the other. I kiss his furry little cheek before placing him on the floor of my room and tossing the ball, causing him to spaz in a flurry of kitten energy. I shut the door quietly behind him and turn back toward the living room.

"Look, Sheldon…I want you to know how much I appreciate this. I know how hard it is for you to screw with your routine," I tell him sincerely, grabbing my purse.

"I've come to realize, over the course of the past five years, that I am finding it increasingly hard to say 'no' to you, Penny," Sheldon sighs, "it's very distressing, I can assure you." I hide my surprise, with a quick smile and grab his sleeve.

"Alright, you. Enough of this mushy, bullcrap. Let's go eat us some pasta," I urge him toward the door, while he gives me a weary look.

"Penny…" he whines pleadingly. I can see his desperate need to correct me, so I roll my eyes and shake my head.

"I'm sorry. Let's go and eat some pasta, oh King of Grammar and Science," I correct acidly.

"While I am certainly no king of any sort, I appreciate the sentiment all the same," He says, barely hiding his satisfaction as we walk out into the hall and he locks the door.

"Of course you do," I answer, snickering, "you're an egomaniac."

"I am merely less modest than most people, and I would say deservedly so," He informs me, as we start down the stairs, "Penny, if this new research trip to Switzerland gets approved, I may well make the discovery of my career and finally win my Nobel Prize."

"Of course you're going to win it, Sheldon," I chuckle, "it's just a when." And I realize, that's exactly what he's needed to hear. Even though he praises himself all the time, what he really wants is someone to agree with him. To believe in him and to reassure him that what he's doing is worthwhile.

"…what good is it if you have no one to share it with? You need someone who's going to cheer you on and root for you."

Who would have thought that someone would end up being me? Even though I don't understand what the freaking hell a Higgs Boson Particle or a monopole is, I couldn't have more faith in Sheldon. Because, if I'm being really honest, if anyone is going to prove string theory and the existence of a God Particle, it's MoonPie.

I know this is what he needs, because his hand voluntarily grabs mine. Of his own accord. First. Which is a huge thing. We both turn to stare at our clasped hands as if neither of us knows how it happened. But he doesn't let go until we get into my car, which really does not want to start.

"Penny, you really should get that—"

"Not tonight, Sheldon," I remind him. "I will. As soon as I get a little bit ahead money wise, I will get it fixed."

We don't talk about it the rest of the way to the restaurant. And he never knows the difference; that I'm keeping the damn thing running with two feet.

Okay. I have to admit, it's kind of cool walking into a classy restaurant and having Sheldon step up to the Maitre d' and tell him there is a reservation for Dr. Cooper.

Yeah, that's right. Penelope is on the town with a doctor. I mean, he's not like, a medical doctor or anything, but who the hell cares?

"Right this way," The hostess says, leading us into the dining room, which is adorned with crystal chandeliers.

"This place is classy," I whisper to Sheldon, trying not to think of what this dinner may set him back, "Are you sure you can afford—"

"Penny. It is impolite to bring up the subject of money on a date," He reprimands me as we are shown to our table and given menus.

"Your waiter will be along shortly," the hostess informs us politely, leaving us to look at the menus. Okay, I know this place is way out of my financial range because there are no damn prices on the menu. It just lists the dishes.

"Sheldon, there are no prices—"

"Penny," He cuts me off in a very Alpha voice. Not un-Sheldon, but more authoritative than condescending. You know, the kind that makes me want to rip his clothes off.

Shit. I need a drink.

I immediately order a glass of white wine and Sheldon orders an iced tea. While we're waiting, I reach across for his hand and feel a tiny thrill when his fingers close around mine. Seriously never would have dreamed this. What if I wake up and I'm back in my own apartment and none of this ever happened?

I think I would be a little devastated. Or a lot.

Don't even think it yet. I warn myself, squeezing my eyes closed for a moment as I brush the thought from my mind.

"So, your sister will be arriving in two weeks, yes?" Sheldon asks, making conversation. I nod, distantly remembering my sister and nephew are coming to California to visit. And so Brian can get his recommendations from Sheldon and Howard.

"Yeah, a week from Saturday, after my nephew's school lets out."

"And is your sister content with the prospect of staying in a hotel?" Sheldon inquires cautiously, eyeing me over his drink. I let out a breathy laugh.

"Are you kidding? Darcy hasn't ever been out of Nebraska! She's probably sick with glee over getting to stay in a hotel." I sigh again, "Which is another thing I'm going to do when I get my money situation going better. Pay you back."

"Penny, I've said this before and I'll say it again. Repayment is not necessary. Especially given the paradigm of our relationship and the new dynamics of which—"

"You're getting the damn money back, Sheldon."

"As you wish, but let it be known that I have no expectations of you regarding the money. Also, I do not wish you to start avoiding me as you did the first time I loaned you money."

"Well, maybe you should give me a reason to stick around…" I tell him seductively, sipping my wine. Of course, he doesn't get it. Sighing, I begin to lean over the table to tell him what I'm talking about when I hear a voice from behind me and see Sheldon's eyes widen to the size of silver dollars.

"Well, well, well…what are you two kids up to?"

Fuck.

I panic for half a second, meeting Sheldon's eyes before turning to face Howard and realizing that it's Howard, Bernadette, Raj and Bridget. All staring at us. It's pretty damn obvious what's going on here.

"We were just…celebrating," I lie, swallowing. "You know, a belated dinner thing to celebrate my getting the part in Home Planet." Howard's face lights up like a kid on Christmas morning…or I guess Hanukkah for him.

"You've got to get me into the set, Penny," He pleads, forgetting his original purpose. I should have known. Mention the sci-fi T.V. show I'm going to be starring in and the guy turns into goo. "I need to see it."

"Uh…we'll see how things go," I bullshit, glancing over at Sheldon, who looks thoroughly irritated.

"Is it true that they are thinking about Katee Sackhoff being plugged for a recurring role?"

"Howard," I reply, "I just found out I got the part on Wednesday. The only things I know are the lines I've memorized for the pilot episode and the fact that I have a costume fitting at noon tomorrow."

"But you'll let me know if you hear anything, right?" He chirps interrogatively. I make a face.

"Yeah…probably not." I don't want to picture Howard (even married Howard) skulking around my film set ogling the female actors. "I don't think we're allowed to bring friends on set unless we're married to them or they're our kids." Raj is pointedly looking down at his phone, while Bridget and Bernadette titter back and forth.

"Lookin' sexy, Sheldon!" Bernadette pipes in cheerfully, giving him a wink which he rewards with a puzzled stare.

"That is a very nice suit," Bridget agrees, smiling at him politely.

"Well, we have to get going," Bernadette urges, pulling Howard by the hand and nodding toward the door, "or we're going to miss our movie!"

"Oh, that's too bad…" I say…really trying to sound sincere, but I know damn well that I don't. Howard gives us another once over.

"You guys could always come with," he offers, while Sheldon starts to twitch. I suppress the urge to cover my face with my hand and shake my head.

"Nah, we just ordered and I haven't eaten all day, so…"

"Well, you kids behave yourselves," Howard waggles his eyebrows at us, making me glare at him. Saying a quick goodbye, they leave as Bernadette practically has to drag him away. When I turn back to Sheldon, he is looking down at his phone, perplexed.

"Finally found a problem you can't solve, Shelly?" I tease, relaxing and taking a long sip of wine. Giving me a scathing look, he turns his phone toward me and shows me the text he's reading.

Shelly plz tell Mama that I am 32 years old n capable of making my own choices If I wanna move to Austin that's my decision

"Wow," I say, raising my eyebrows. Sheldon sighs, looking back down at it with a slight shake of his head.

"I know…it's a tragedy. The poor girl can barely spell, much less use proper punctuation and grammar," he utters, pocketing the phone while I stare at him in silent disbelief.

Why do I always forget he's a big ball of clueless when it comes to things that are plain as day? The poor schmuck can't even tell that his sister just kind of gave him a cry for help by telling him that she's moving away from her hometown with her possibly abusive soon-to-be hubby. I recognize the tone of that text as if it was a voicemail. It's saying, 'Sheldon, you're my twin brother and I need you to understand that my fiancé is forcing me to live hours away from my friends and family to isolate me so that he can destroy my ego and my support. Help me!'

Maybe I'm wrong. Maybe years of making stupid decisions and dating assholes has made me cynical. But what if I'm not? What if Ben is abusing Sheldon's sister and I didn't do everything I could to help him help her?

"Sheldon, I don't think it's a good idea for Missy to live in Austin with Ben. Isn't that like, over an hour away?"

"It's three hours away," he corrects, sipping his iced tea. "Two hundred, fifteen point seven miles away."

"So, far," I conclude. Slowly, he nods. "Sweetie, I want you to listen to me, okay? Because I need you to understand…I think Missy is in trouble. I think this guy is bad news and I think she's falling into a trap a lot of girls fall into. Moving three hours away from your mother and your brother and MeeMaw is a mistake."

"You are insinuating that you still suspect that the man to whom she is affianced is abusing her…?" His voice is unsure, but I nod, biting my lower lip. "And what would I be able to do about it? Even if Missy would listen to me, which she's never done up to this point, my attempt to aid her would be futile as I am here and she is there."

"I'm not saying that…" I insist, "I'm saying I think you should talk to her when we are down in Texas in July for the engagement party. Just let her know you're here for her. I think that's what she needs right now."

"I still don't think anything I say will—"

"Trust me on this, Cowboy," I stop him, "Just…I know how she feels, okay?" His eyes flash with understanding for a second and I kind of sag in relief that he's getting the message. "Tell her you are here for her," I urge again, watching him reluctantly text his sister back though he still looks skeptical.

The rest of dinner goes by pretty pleasantly with almost no problems (other than Sheldon kind of freaking the waitress out when his steak is not as well done as he ordered, but I'm sure the trusty cooks in the back will follow the oath of food workers or whatever garbage Leonard told Sheldon years ago.)

"Honey," I begin on the way out of Angelina's, "I'm thinking, maybe we should just go home and watch a movie…maybe?"

"But, we planned to go dancing," Sheldon answers, confused as I take his hand.

"But wouldn't you rather be safe at home in your spot watching a DVD, than in some dirty, germy dance club where the people could be transferring any number of germs—"

"Penny," he stops me, and I turn to look up at him, "you had me at my spot." I laugh, rolling my eyes and giving him a shove, noticing his smirk.

"Ass!"

The prospect of getting Sheldon all to myself tonight is both a daunting and a dizzying thought. It's only a little after eight, and the laundry is done, so we have all night to ourselves. Not that he's going to be watching much of any movie. We'll call it an experiment in progress.

Of course, just as I'm pulling out of the restaurant parking lot, my damn car stalls out. Again. Luckily, I get it restarted before Sheldon can fully catch on to what happened. He does give me a suspicious look, but manages to hold his tongue on the subject, which is probably good.

As soon as we're in the apartment, I run to let Flash out of the bedroom and find him asleep on my pillow, sprawled on his back. Leaning down, I kiss his little pink nose and head back out to join my date, who is at present perusing his DVDs.

How am I going to do this subtly?

I wait for him to decide on the first Transformers movie, settling on the couch in my green dress, which is not the most comfortable thing to lounge around on. But the thing is…I don't plan on wearing it much longer.

Because I think we're ready for our next lesson: second base. Sorry, MoonPie…these teacups need a little spinning.

I wait for him to put in the movie and settle into his spot before I pounce, reaching for his tie and loosening it, wrenching it over his head. Loosening the first couple of buttons of his dress shirt, I notice his eyes widen in wary surprise.

"Penny, I wish you wouldn't grope me like a wench in a brothel," he pleads, making me giggle.

"What the hell do you know about brothels?"

"I visit the saloon all the time in Red Dead Redemption. I saved a prostitute just the other day."

"Did she at least put out?" I joke dryly, watching him frown.

"No, I received a medal," he answers, making me shake my head.

"Sounds like you got screwed," I tell him, depositing myself onto his lap and using his tie to bring him toward me, lifting the skirt of my dress so I can straddle him. He, of course, resists me at first, but after the first few seconds of struggle, he relaxes into my touch. Dropping the tie, I carefully cradle the back of his head, combing my fingers into his baby soft hair. I try not to smile as our lips mesh together sweetly, very gentle at first. It's a rule of mine with him. He has to make the first move to go a further before I start to push buttons. This is seriously so bizarre to me still…not just the fact that we are dating and it's working…but that we are living in the same apartment and haven't murdered each other.

I'm just getting ready to pull away a little, when I feel something touch the side of my neck and realize it's one of Sheldon's hands, holding me in place. That's when he does it again. I feel the tiniest brush of his tongue past my slightly parted lips and meet him halfway, carefully caressing his with mine. I can hear a breathy moan escape me when the long fingers of his other hand tighten on the silky material of my dress at my hip and pull me forward. The poor thing must be running on pure instinct, because his hips seem to grind upward on their own and his eyes fly open as if he himself can't believe he just did that.

"Penny…" He gasps, turning his face and taking in a large amount of air.

"It's okay, honey," I assure him, smoothing his hair back, "it's normal. It just means you're aroused."

"Penny, I am one of the most gifted minds of my generation, if not the most gifted," Really? Now? "I have an eidetic memory and I have an I.Q. of one hundred eighty-seven. I neither need a lesson on male sexual arousal, nor do I want one. But I can assure you, that this is not my first experience with sexual arousal and nor will it be my last."

"Really," I reply sardonically, giving him a look, "so you know all about it, smart guy…huh?"

"I've been suppressing my attraction to you for the past five years, so I would say that yes, I do know all about it," Sheldon retorts, eyes blazing with challenge. And yet again, the big whacko has managed to render me speechless.

"You—" I stop myself, shaking my head to gather my wits, "Seriously?"

"Yes," Sheldon answers immediately, "Why on Earth would I make something like that up?"

"You wouldn't," I mutter, exhaling and resting my forehead against his. "You're crazy, you do know that, right?"

"No. I was tested," is his only response. "Furthermore, I don't appreciate—"

"Sheldon, shut up." I growl, taking his face back into my hands and making him shut up. When I pull back, he's pink and his lips are swollen and I love it. But we need to stop, because he's weirdly too good at this for someone who never wanted to have physical contact with another person. And there's only so much more I can take before I debauch him completely. "Hey," I whisper, kissing his nose and making him open his eyes. Jesus, I hope if he ever has kids they have his eyes. "Let's get in our pajamas and make some kettle corn and watch Optimus Prime kick Megatron's big metal ass."

(And if we happen to make out a little more, so be it.)


The next one will be better, I promise. Oh, and for all of you wondering about the s-e-x issue. It's not going to happen for a while yet. They're SO not there. But I promise, the wait will make the actuality of it that much better.

Sydnee