Disclaimer: Everything familiar belongs to JE.

Warning: Adult Situations, TISSUES NEEDED

Chapter 29: Tuesday, August 23rd, 1400-2000

Funeral Home

Julie's POV

I know I need to be here. I know I need to say goodbye to my family, but I feel very conflicted. I don't want to see them lying in a coffin, dead and lifeless. I want to see them the way they were on Friday, almost a week ago, when we spent the day together at the beach. I want to see them happy. I want to hear Joselyn and RJ laugh, watching them run around and play. I wanted to keep them safe. I never wanted them to feel that fear that I had when Scrog had me. That fear that overtook my body when I saw the bullets hit Papi. I thought I lost Ranger that day, and I didn't want to lose him. Yes, we didn't have a relationship, I didn't know him nor did he know me, but he is my biological father, and in the few moments that we spent together in the years before Scrog, I felt a bond to him that I never felt with Mom or Dad. I felt that same bond, that same connection to Stephanie when I met her. I know when they are both near, I sense them. Papi more so than Steph, but I feel them inside me. It is almost like the three of us are connected, like our souls connect in some way. I want Stephanie to be my mother. I want her to be the one who is there as I navigate my teenage years and life. I trust her. I know Papi trusts her as well.

Papi went to my former home and retrieved the items I asked him to get for me, Joselyn, and RJ. I have in my bag Joselyn's and RJ's favorite stuffed animals, the two they couldn't go to sleep without holding them in their beds. When the door to the car opens, I look at Stephanie, who nods that it's going to be okay. She and Papi help me out of the truck, and we walk into the funeral home together. The funeral director is trying to stop us from entering the viewing room, as it is still fifteen minutes before the start time.

"Julie will see her sister, brother, and parents before anyone else enters. Do you understand?" Papi tells the man. He immediately changes his demeanor and is full of sympathy and concern. I love watching men quake in Papi's wake. I ignore his platitudes, entering into Joselyn's and RJ's room first.

I see them in coffins, side-by-side, looking ever peaceful in death. Joselyn is wearing the dress she wore for Aunt Rita's wedding, and RJ is wearing his Easter suit. I see that Aunt Rita put the stupid teddy bears she got them in their coffins. They both hated those teddy bears. Joselyn's was rainbow colored, wearing a gown and a tiara. RJ's was light blue wearing a baseball uniform. RJ hated baseball. He kept the bear in his closet, out of sight, out of mind. Joselyn was a tomboy, and hated wearing dresses, but knew it made Mom happy, so she wore them without complaining, at least to her. She kept that bear on her bench, that was only because then Aunt Rita wouldn't feel bad. I removed both the bears from their coffin. I wasn't going to force them to keep them for eternity. Instead, I opened my bag and took out Joselyn's yellow duck. I got the duck for Joselyn the day Mom told me she was pregnant. I was so excited to have a baby sister or brother. When she was born, I wanted nothing more than to help Mom with her, but she pushed me away. I realize now that my Mom was trying to keep us apart even then. I tucked the duck under the sheet carefully laid around her, where no one would see it. I'm sure Aunt Rita would take the duck away. When Joselyn stayed by Aunt Rita's house, she forgot her duck and Mom and Dad had to drive home to get the duck so they could drop it off so she would stop crying. That was the day Aunt Rita brought her the bear. I kiss my sister on the cheeks.

"I'm sorry, Josie. I didn't want you to get hurt. I hope you weren't scared. Papi said that you probably didn't even know what happened to you, that it was over quickly. I hope for your sake that what he said is true. I tried to get help, I tried to keep you safe, but I failed you and RJ. I hope you can forgive me. I know that you are with Mom and Dad, and I hope you are very happy in Heaven, which I know is where you are right now. Don't worry about me, Josie, because I will be with Papi. I wanted to be with Papi, and I'm glad that my wish has come true, but I never wanted that wish at your expense. Keep Pinky the duck with you and think of me. I love you, Joselyn." With one last kiss, I move to RJ.

RJ looks so much smaller in death than he did in life. As with Joselyn, I removed the horrendous bear and tucked Thomas the Train under his covers. RJ didn't like trains, or the Thomas the Train show, but he loved the stuffed train I got him when Mom told me I would have a baby brother. He would often sneak into my room in the middle of the night, especially during thunderstorms, saying that he always felt safe with me. Hmp. Some job I did keeping him safe. I brush his hair off his forehead before kissing it. "RJ, hermano, I love you, always. I'll miss you sneaking into my room. I'll miss practicing soccer with you. I'll miss sitting together eating smores by the fire. I know that I will be happy with Papi, but my smores eating days are over, as Papi doesn't eat marshmallows or chocolate. I always wanted a baby brother and was so thrilled to have you. Please watch over Joselyn and make sure she's okay. I'll never forget either of you and will love you until the day I die. Goodbye, RJ."

I step away from both coffins and turn around. I see Stephanie and Papi watching me from the back, sitting down next to each other. They gave me my privacy to say what I needed to say but still were here in case I needed them. Now, I need to face my parents. I take the two teddy bears, hiding them in my bag. I know if I give the bears to Papi, he'll make them disappear. I walk over to them, to my parents, and allow them to pull me into their embrace. I know that Stephanie and Papi are not married and that they aren't even a couple, but I hope that their status will change, and change soon. It feels so right with them together.

"Princesa, are you okay?"

"Si, Papi. I'm good." I kiss his cheek to reassure him that I'm okay.

"Proud of you, Julie. Are you ready to face your parents?"

"Yes. Let's go." I reply, walking in front of them. I glance at the clock, seeing that I only have five minutes.

"Don't worry, Princesa. Take as much time as you need. No one will disturb you or enter the room."

"Thank you, Papi. Oh, can you please make these hideous bears disappear before Aunt Rita insists that Joselyn and RJ have them?"

I watch as a ghost of a smile forms as he replies, "Of course. Consider it done." I watch as he passes the bag off to Uncle Lester who does smile at the request. He nods to me, and I know he's off to do the deed. I love my Uncles. I step into the room and feel an overwhelming urge to run and hide. I see both Mom and Ron, who I refuse to call Dad, in front of the room. I go to Mom first.

"Mom, I'm sorry that you were hurt, I'm sorry that the men violated you, but I'm not sorry that you're dead. You and Ron did nothing to stop them from hurting me. You constantly told me I was useless, a waste of space, and not good enough. You took the money Papi sent for me and spent it on yourself, Ron, Joselyn or RJ, but never on me. Now, I'll never have to wear second-hand clothes again. I'll never have to be ashamed to get a 98 on a test, and I never have to wish that I weren't born. I regret that Joselyn and RJ are dead too, but they are better off being dead than having to live without you and Ron. They are too little and too innocent to deal with everything that happened. As you always said, I'm my father's daughter I will survive, coming out stronger in the long run. I know I'll make Papi proud. Goodbye, mother."

Next, I move to Ron's coffin and have to force the bile back down my throat. "Ron, I'm glad you're dead. I hate you. I hate that you poisoned my mother against me. I hate that you allowed those men to touch me and hurt me. I hate that, because of you, Joselyn and RJ are dead. I hate that you had the other company come and disengage the Rangeman system, thinking that someone else could protect us better than Papi. I'm glad that it didn't work fully. Now, I get to live with Papi, who loves me like I deserve to be love. I'm glad I'm his daughter because if I were your daughter, I'd be dead."

I turn around and run out of the room, not sure if I could hold off on vomiting until I get to the bathroom. I know Stephanie is following me, and I hear her behind me in the stall as I lose the contents of my stomach.

"Julie, sweetheart, it's okay. Everything will be okay." She keeps repeating as I wait for the heaving to stop. I'm glad she put my hair in a braid, at least it isn't in my face or the toilet bowl. I carefully stand up, turning around to face her. She brushes a stray hair off my face before guiding me to the sinks. She hands me a toothbrush and toothpaste. I brush my teeth, then rinse my mouth with mouthwash. I feel better now that I brushed my teeth.

"You ready to go back out? I'm sure Carlos is worried about you."

"Yes, Steph, I'm ready." I step out of the bathroom and into my father's chest. The tears that I've been holding in since Papi told me in the hospital are finally flowing, and I'm unable to stop them from falling. He gently picks me up, mindful of my injuries, and walks into a private office where he sits on the couch, holding me in his arms. He murmurs to me in Spanish, consoling me. His deep voice is hypnotizing, and I find myself drifting off to sleep.

I hear a quiet din of voices, and I register strong arms holding me. I slowly open my eyes, remembering that I'm at the wakes for my family. I'm still in Papi's arms, but instead of sitting in that private office, we are in the back of my brother and sister's room. Papi realizes I'm awake.

"Are you feeling better, Princesa?" he asks.

"Yes, Papi. How long was I asleep?"

"Two hours."

"And you held me the entire time?"

"Yes. Stephanie is dealing with Rita, who is demanding to know where the teddy bears are, and what you did with them."

"Sorry Papi, but Joselyn and RJ hated them."

"You don't have to apologize to me, Julie. But I do think you may need to say something to Rita. Don't worry, though, Stephanie and I have your back." My father tells me.

I watch as Stephanie walks back into the room, clearly annoyed, but she smiles when she sees that I'm awake.

"How are you doing, Jules? Do you need to use the bathroom?"

"Better. Yes, please."

She reaches for my hand, and I take hers. We walk together, hand-in-hand to the bathroom. It feels right, standing here with Stephanie by my side. I don't know why she thinks she'll be a bad mother; she's already better than Rachel was, at least where I was concerned. We enter the bathroom and do our business. After she helps me wash my hands, we return the room. I start to look around and see many of RJ's and Joselyn's friends. I squeeze Steph's hand, letting her know I'm okay before I walk over the kids and start to mingle. We hug, and they cry, sharing memories of Joselyn and RJ. I see some of my friends come in, and they immediately walk over to me, hugging me warmly. They all express their sympathy, glad that I'm alive and that I will be okay. No one asks about what happened to me, and I know they won't ask, but instead will wait until I'm ready to share. It's the same thing they did after Scrog. Suddenly, I hear a commotion out in the hallway.

"Cupcake, get over here and tell this goon to let me into the room. I'm a detective for Pete's sake."

I watch Stephanie sigh, then straighten her back as she goes to deal with Joe. Papi walks with her, his hand on her back.

"Detective Morelli, we discussed this early. There are to be no weapons in this building. There are too many children here. Either you leave your police issue in your vehicle or allow Marco to keep it until you leave. Otherwise, you will not be allowed entrance."

"Fuck you, Manoso. I have the right to carry, and I will carry and enter this building. You cannot keep me out."

At that moment, I watch as JJ and Matt, the FBI agents, walk over to the group. "Detective Morelli, you are making a scene. If you'd like, I'll hold your piece for you. Don't cause a ruckus. It isn't fair to Rachel or Ron's family, or to Julie," Jennifer said.

I see that Joe figure out that he won't win and he hands his gun off to Jennifer. "Your clutch piece as well," Papi says.

Once both of Joe's guns are out of sight, Joe enters the room with my parents first. I go back to my friends, ignoring the adults for the time being. A short time later, a priest comes in. I recognize him from the church; it's Father Maniscalco. He says prayers for everyone from Joselyn's and RJ's room, asking that I sit up front. I don't like to look at the dead, and I feel uncomfortable. Papi sits in the chair and lets me sit on his lap. Stephanie sits next to him, and she seems just as awkward as I am. After the prayers are said, everyone starts making their way to say goodbye.

"Papi, what time is it?"

"1930."

I look at him confused before he replies, "7:30, Princesa."

"Okay. Where are we going for dinner?"

"Where do you want to go?"

"Can we go to that place Abuela always takes us to, you know the one that her friend owns?"

"Of course. We'll go to Casa Cubano if that's what you want."

As we are about to leave, Aunt Rita corners us.

"Okay, Ranger, you had your fun. Now give my niece to me. Rachel and Ron wanted her to live with me, and I'm taking her home."

Uncle Javier materialized from I don't know where and he spoke to Aunt Rita. "Rita, I told you earlier this week that Ron's death voided Julie's adoption. With both Joselyn and RJ also gone, Julie is not your ward. She is Carlos' daughter, and as her father, he has custody of her. If you continue to harass them, I will file charges against you."

"It isn't over, Ranger. I will have Julie in my custody before long." She replied as she stormed out of the funeral parlor.