9am comes along and my phone rings.
"Hello" I answer and yawn
"Hey baby, did I wake you?" Adam asks
"Well, if you mean that I would've had to sleep last night in order to be woken, then no"
"Why, couldn't you sleep last night? Is something wrong?"
"Nothing's wrong, it's just… nothing, don't worry about it"
"Oh, okay then… well, me and the guys are heading to the gym, I was just wondering if you'll be down there, but it sounds like you need to get your sleep…"
"No, no… I'll be there, it'll wake me up properly and keep me awake during work, I'll be there"
"Are you sure? You really don't sound up for it"
"Sweetie, I'll be there!"
"Okay, see you there"
"Yep"
"Love ya"
"Love you too" I finish and hang up. I grab my gym bag and put on my workout clothing on, and head to the gym.
On the way to the gym, the little voice inside my head keeps asking "how are you going to tell him?" Honestly, I don't know how, or when, or have a clue of how he'll react to it. He'll probably be disappointed and sad about it, I am too! I don't want to go, I love the life I have… well, had… but it got to a point where it felt like I had to take it… I don't like that decision, but it felt like it had to be made. Man, I hate that little voice inside my head… wish it decided to be more positive about something. It's always negative and always asking questions that I don't want to answer. Damn it! You know the advice Kim gave me when I first fell in love with Adam, how it will just come out naturally when it's ready… hope that advice can be applied to this… that telling Adam that I'm moving to the USA will be natural… but it's gonna be hard, naturally or not! This is gonna bug me like hell, I know it will! I wonder if a long distance relationship would work. I mean, even before & now, Adam's always on the road so he's never home, and I see him 2 days a week, usually at the most. It could work out. Can a couple be engaged to each other in a long distance relationship? Oh this is going to be harder than I thought!
I get to the gym, all the guys are there, with smiles on their faces and laughing at the stupid comments they make. I really shouldn't say stupid, I sometimes laugh at the comments too, but I'm tired and confused.
"Hey guys" I say as I enter the part of the gym where they all are, and yawn
"Hey" Chris, Terry & Jay reply
"Hey baby, you look knackered" Adam says and comes up to me
"I know… I am! But this is what I need right now" I reply to Adam, rubbing my eyes
"Well, okay… get a good night's rest tonight"
"I will" I say and smile
He kisses me on my forehead and goes back to finish his early morning workout. I start mine at the same time.
A few hours later, Adam, Terry & Chris hit the showers, leaving me & Jay on the machines. Jay makes his way on to the treadmill next to mine.
"You feeling okay, Zoe?" he asks
"Sort of, not completely" I reply
"What's bothering you?"
"Who ever said something was bothering me? Maybe it's just tiredness"
"I can tell it's not just a sleepless night that a warm glass of milk couldn't cure"
"Man, you're good!"
"So what's bothering you?"
"I'll tell ya, just as long as you don't say a word about it to Adam, or anyone"
"Wow, that serious!"
"Well, do ya promise?"
"I promise… now what is bothering your beautiful, confusing mind?"
I laugh slightly and take a deep breath. "I… I won't be in Canada for much longer"
"Why? Where you moving? When?"
"Have you ever been in a situation in your life when you really don't want to do something, you stick to that, but it just gets to a point where it's no longer about not wanting to do it, but you have to do it?"
"Yes, not too many times, thank god! Why? Are you doing something you don't want to do, but you feel you have to do it now?"
"Yeah"
"You took that job, didn't you?"
I take another deep breath. "Yeah, I did"
"That sucks… wait, which office are you going to?"
"Tennessee"
"Is there one in Florida?"
"Florida? Why Florida?"
"Adam hasn't told you?"
"Told me what?"
"Uhh… nothing, he'll tell you himself… but is there one there?"
"No, there isn't… would it have been a good thing if there was?"
"Better than it being in Tennessee, let's just say that"
I turn off my machine and look at Jay with an evil glare, thinking 'something's up, I know it'. "Okay" I say and make my way off the treadmill.
Later that day, the guys leave for their next live events and I head to work. Normal day for everyone… workout, lunch, off to work, sleep, and do the same the next day, and the day after that. That's life for ya! Although, today the guys had to leave straight after their workout at the gym, so we didn't have lunch together like we would normally when they're home.
