The Autumn Of Breakups

Finding Brover was a godsend for Barney. He doesn't enjoy sleeping around anymore. That much has been clear to him since the debacle with the nannies, even before the beating really; that had just been the turning point. So he'd cut down his intake of one-night stands ever since. Sure, he'd still tell his stories, and he actually would sleep with a woman now and again – the thing with the 6 really happened. But his heart is no longer in it. It's simply a rote response out of habit and boredom and a desperate need to distract himself from the true source of his emotional pain. But it doesn't make him feel good. He really is too old for this stuff. And it doesn't ease the pain any either.

So when he came across his new pal, Brover, it was like cosmic fate and destiny and all that other stuff fourteen year old girls and Ted go on about. Wingmaning for Brover is just the distraction he needs from how miserable he is and how much he still loves Robin. This way he can concentrate on employing all of his skills and plays but it will be to get his new dog laid, not himself.

And Brover really is a great little companion. He's easy to talk to. The dog already knows way too much. Good thing he's the only one who seems to be able to understand Brover's language.

It's also nice having Brover along for encouragement when he goes to visit his mom that Sunday afternoon to finally tell her the truth about him and Quinn. It's been weeks since they broke up and he always knew he'd have to tell her eventually but he's been dreading the conversation. His mom wants to see him in love and settled just like James. He's gotten better at being honest with her since the days of his fake wife and son, but he still hates to disappoint her by telling her that instead of getting married he's gone back to sleeping with random pick-ups. Still, even though it will make his mom sad, he knows she wants and deserves the truth. And having a cute little doggy there to smooth things over certainly can't hurt.

When he finally tells his mom that he broke up with Quinn and that he probably never should have proposed to her in the first place because he always knew he didn't feel for her what he should, he braces himself for tears – or, more likely, lectures. The response he gets surprises him.

"I'm glad."

At first he's relieved, but that relief soon turns to confusion. "I just told you I dumped my former fiancée because I could never really trust her after she duped me out of thousands of dollars and the only thing you have to say is 'I'm glad'? Gee, thanks, Mom," he sarcastically replies.

Loretta takes her son's hand in hers as they sit at the kitchen table, Brover sleeping happily on her lap. "Well, I'm sorry, Barney, but that girl was never right for you. That much was plain to see. I know you want to settle down, and that makes me happy. But you can't just grab the first woman you see and call it good. It was never going to work out with you and Quinn. I knew it all along."

Barney looks at her, stunned. "You did?"

"Of course."

Talk about a mother's intuition. Ever since he started opening himself up to her more it seems like he can't get anything past her.

"I know some other things too, but….." Loretta stops herself off when she sees his expression. "I know, I know. I'm not allowed to use the R-word."

He sighs. "Mom, you can say her name. It's just; you've got to give up on the idea of things going anywhere with me and Robin. I have."

"Then you give up too quickly."

"No," he insists, standing up and using the excuse of going to pour a second cup of coffee as a way to avoid her all too knowing eyes. "You made me promise to take a chance, and I did. It didn't work out."

"But I also said, 'Don't be me'. Not taking that chance with you last year doesn't mean she didn't want to, Barney. I know firsthand what it's like to be a woman who's too afraid to take a chance with the man she loves."

That brings Barney's eyes back to his mom. "Well, Robin's not afraid. She's taken plenty of chances with Ted, and Don, and Kevin. And now Nick."

Loretta smiles gently. "I said with the man she loves."

"Robin doesn't love me, Mom."

"Alright, Barney. We'll see."

Unfortunately he already had.


A few days later, Barney pops into MacLaren's and finds only Robin and Nick sitting alone in the booth. After all these months it still hurts him to see the two of them together. The pain only makes him even more manic in his clinging to this Brover distraction. Nevertheless, he leaves the dog at the bar and walks over to join them, sitting down next to Robin, naturally.

Barney slides into the booth beside her and his hip momentarily presses against hers. He's all full of bluster and excitement, and even though Robin can only understand about half of what he's saying, his enthusiasm is contagious. She feels herself smiling involuntarily.

Barney continues going off into a series of obscure and silly metaphors before eventually explaining that the "new wingman" he keeps referring to is actually a dog. Robin glances over and sees the cute grey dog sitting on the bar and her first thought is how she still misses her own little fellas. The second thing that runs through her mind is how much Barney's new dog reminds her of the man himself. He's got a wry, intelligent look about him that matches Barney's perfectly, and just like his master he has women swarming all around him.

Brover, as Barney informs her he's named him, may be cute but she's a bit shocked that Barney would get a dog at all. She always thought the animal hair would ruin his suits. In fact, she's heard him say as much. He told her that's why he'd stopped his pet store plays. The realization makes her worry for him all the more. Barney must need the companionship of another living thing awfully badly then. But why? Something's been upsetting him lately, she knows. It's even worse than it was before. It's getting to the point where he can no longer even mildly hide it from her.

The week before last, shortly after midnight, she was at her place and Barney was at his but they were texting back and forth while watching a rerun of a hilariously bad movie that was playing on cable. Their joint commentary got so good that she eventually gave up on texting and simply called him. They watched the rest of the movie together, making jokes and laughing and just having fun until Nick, who was sitting on the couch beside her not enjoying the movie nearly as much as the two of them, got bored and hungry and started to eat a candle on the kitchen counter that he mistook for a cupcake. She told Barney she had to go help Nick – the candle was still lit as he bit into it – but Barney was openly reluctant to end the call.

And only a few days ago, after everyone left MacLaren's and it was down to just the three of them, she could tell Barney didn't want them to leave. He was doing everything he could to get them to stay a little while longer. He even ordered her favorite dessert, a butterscotch blondie with maple bourbon sauce, to tempt her. When Nick promised to give her something just as sweet and satisfying if they went back to her place – actually he was much more simplistic, just saying he'd 'sex her up good' – Barney choked on his scotch and actually shouted, "No, you can't!". It was so odd. Barney has always been a fan of hot sex and its pursuit so for him to ask them to stay behind anyway he must have really not wanted to be left alone. She put Nick off a bit longer but eventually she left with him, and as she walked away she could see the naked sadness and despair in Barney's eyes.

He must be lonely. He must be missing Quinn terribly. It's the only explanation, and one she hates to admit still stings. But when she sees Barney over at the bar sharing scotch and sloopy kisses with his new canine wingman, her concern for him outweighs any thoughts for her own pain. She needs to get Barney to open up about his misery in the wake of his breakup. She needs to help him.

Robin tells Nick just as much and she's surprised at his refusal. He just keeps going on about his cooking show. She's always so careful not to deride it in his presence, but come on. It's a cable access show. How important can it be? And besides, his lame slogans are nowhere near as amusing or eloquent as Barney's off-the-cuff catchphrases.

Her relationship with Nick isn't a great one, but the sex is good; at least there's that. That by itself has been enough for her to keep Nick around, but it's going to be a pain if he starts being pigheaded about Barney. That's something she won't stand for. So Robin simply ignores his protests, inviting Barney over for dinner anyway.


A few hours later at her apartment, setting the table for a dinner that was originally meant to be for two, Robin and Nick are still fighting about her inclusion of Barney, but Robin's hardly paying the argument any mind. Barney is late and she's too worried about him to focus on anything else.

Nick assures her that Barney's fine and even goes on say that she's completely overreacting with all this 'cry for help' business she keeps giving as an excuse whenever she runs off to spend time with Barney.

Maybe she has mentioned Barney a lot lately. So what if he's been on her mind almost constantly over the past few weeks since his breakup with Quinn? Barney is her friend and she has a right to be concerned about him.

A knock on the door then ends any further discussion. Knowing it must be Barney, Robin's heart rate accelerates…from relief that he's alright and nothing more.

She opens the door and, sure enough, Barney and Brover are standing on the other side suited up in matching jackets and ties. It would be the cutest thing she'd ever seen if she didn't know that at its heart this is all about Barney's pain at the loss of Quinn.

Robin invites them in and even sets Brover a chair at the table to make Barney happy though Nick fights against it the entire time. She thought sitting down to dinner would be better. Eating together is always a good way to break the ice. But Nick keeps making jabs at Barney the entire time. Barney just ignores him, but Robin doesn't. On the contrary, she doesn't at all care for Nick's attitude towards Barney. He was irritated by Barney's Brover jokes back at the bar, he kept insisting that Barney was alright and he shouldn't have to invite him to dinner, and now he's being dismissive and hostile over everything Barney says. By the time Nick calls Barney "pathetic" for using a dog to pick up women, Robin's shooting angry, warning glares his way.

Barney, for his part, hasn't missed how unwelcoming Nick's been throughout the meal. Not that he can blame the guy. If he'd been planning a romantic dinner with Robin all alone at her apartment, he'd be angry with someone else for horning in too. But all such thoughts go flying from his head the moment he gets the call from Brover's real owner. It's like the story of his life. He never gets the happy ending. He never gets to keep the thing he loves. He only gets to borrow it for a little while. He just gets a small taste of the happiness that can never be his before he has to inevitably give it over to someone else. And that's what he's going to have to do again: give Brover up while he's forced to stand back and watch him be happy with someone else. Just like he's had to do with Robin.

When Barney gets off the phone and explains the significance of the call, Robin's eyes fill with pain for him. "Barney, I'm so sorry," she softly tells him. She's been there; she knows how it hurts. And Barney must be doubly heartbroken because he was only using the dog as a replacement for Quinn.

Barney knows his role and he plays it well, begging off Robin's pity and insisting, "It's all good." But it's not.

He gets up and methodically folds his napkin, calmly excusing himself. He originally intended to seek refuge in the bathroom where he could collect himself, but it's just too much. Why does he never get a break? Why does he always have to be the one to give things up, to sacrifice? What about what he wants? Does that never matter?

Yes, he wants to save face in front of Robin, but at the same time he desperately needs her care and attention, now more than ever. He needs to be fawned over by her for just a little while, like after the nannies. He soon finds his steps propelling him across the room, only half knowing what he's about to do.

Robin watches Barney leave the table and approach the balcony, opening up the doors. She assumes he must need a bit of fresh air to calm his nerves, but then he takes off his jacket. It's then that she realizes what he's about to do and a cold terror fills her. She pushes up from the table, knocking over her wine glass in the process, her napkin falling unheeded to the floor. When she sees him start to step up on the patio table, she shouts, "Hey!" Then his foot is on the railing. Panic-stricken, she frantically calls his name, sprinting as fast as she can. She won't let this happen. She won't lose him.

As soon as he feels her hands on his waist, tugging him back, Barney's attempts to climb up on the railing weaken. He never intended to actually jump anyway. Although maybe he should. What does he really have to live for? But he feels Robin pulling with all her might and a warmth spreads inside him. Even though she doesn't love him she must care about him a lot, and that means something. It's enough to make him release the firm hold he's had over his emotions all this time. "No," he cries, and it's not even half about Brover, but he allows her to easily pull him back down to safety.

Robin's heart is still beating a thousand times a minute but once she's got Barney down off the ledge she can finally breathe again. Brover jumps down from his chair to come stand at Barney's feet and Robin uses the distraction to retrieve his jacket from the ground before closing and locking the patio doors, even pulling the curtains shut lest he be further tempted.

She leaves Barney for just a moment to go talk to Nick, who righted her fallen wine glass and is currently dabbing at the damp table cloth. "Go make him a cup of green tea," she whispers. "I keep his favorite brand in the second cupboard, third shelf."

Nick shoots her a look that's half annoyance, half disgust. "You stock all his favorites, huh?"

"Please, Nick," she adds.

He shakes his head as if he should have seen this coming. "I'll go make the crepes," he says instead, and the dirty look he gives Barney as his leaves doesn't escape her notice.

So she's been spending a lot of time with Barney…..and she may have had him over a few nights too. But so what? Nick's been busy trying to make a go of his show. He's worked late most nights, and she's all alone, and Barney needs a friend right now. She never has been able to get him to talk about Quinn much; he always just insists that the relationship was flawed and the breakup was for the best, but she doesn't believe him of course. Instead they spend most nights broing out, sometimes at the bar, sometimes at Ted's for a little while, but they always end up back at her place to watch Letterman while she waits for Nick to get out of work and then Barney eventually goes off to his bed partner for the night – and that alone should show Nick he's got nothing to be worried about.

Shaking those thoughts from her mind because she just can't deal with Nick's jealousy right now, Robin goes back to tend to Barney. Looking down, she realizes she still has his suit jacket cradled in her arms. "Here." She instructs him to turn around and starts helping him back into the jacket. "Barney, I can't believe you'd try to do that," she says, gently smoothing her hands over his arms as he eases them back into the sleeves. She can't bring herself to say the words 'jump' or 'suicide'. As it is, she feels like she's about to cry. Saying it out loud would make it too real and surely start the tears flowing. Even if she is eighty-three percent certain that it was only one of his stunts and he didn't actually mean to do it, it's still too horrible to think of. She tries to keep it light instead. "What would the world be like without Barney Stinson?"

"I don't know. Who would really miss me? Not Brover here," he laments, sinking down onto her couch. "He's got someone better. I can't compare. I bet he doesn't even think twice about me."

Robin sits down close beside him, her hand coming to rest on his upper arm. "I'd miss you," she tells him.

He looks at her and he knows she means it. For a moment it feels like something deep and meaningful is passing between them, but then she opens her mouth to speak again.

"And so would Ted, and Marshall, and Lily. And Little Marvin too."

It's a sweet sentiment but it's far more nonexclusive than he'd hoped.

Barney calls Brover over to the couch and the little dog curls up on the pillow beside him. As Robin watches Barney say goodbye, she moves her hand to his back, tenderly rubbing a soothing touch across his shoulder. She gets up to give them a moment, but before she's even crossed the room to Nick her mind is already made up. She's going with Barney to take Brover back. There's no way she's letting him go through this alone.

But it takes her all of three seconds to figure out that Nick is pissed that she's leaving. "Barney's more important," he accuses, storming off down the hall. And maybe she's seen this coming for a while now.

Nick's her boyfriend and he's a sweet guy. She wants to smooth things over with him but she's not going to abandon Barney. Nick will just have to understand. Or he'll just have to be mad at her. Either way, she's going with Barney.

Left alone together, Robin turns her attention to Barney, who's still sitting on the couch, hysterically hugging Brover. She eases down onto the couch, her hand rubbing his back again. "I'm going with you."

That gets Barney's attention. He straightens up to look at her, taking a glance around the room and only now realizing that Nick's gone. "What about Nick?"

Robin shrugs. "He's working on his catchphrase." It's mostly a lie, but Barney doesn't need to know that she's landed herself in hot water over him.

One look at Robin tells Barney there's more to it than what she's saying, but he's not about to question it when more time with her is always what he wants, especially now. The truth is having her with him while he gives Brover back will significantly ease the pain. "Okay."

He takes off Brover's little jacket and tie while Robin puts on her coat and they all go out into the city together. It feels like the three of them are a little family though Barney knows they're anything but. Still, this is exactly how he'd want it in some alternate universe where they could actually have a happy ending. It would be him and Robin, spending the rest of their lives together. Eventually the two of them would adopt a puppy together and all their friends would tease them for being doggy parents instead of actually having kids, but they both would know it's way better this way, with all the perks and only half the responsibilities.

But he can never have Robin. And he can never have Brover. He doesn't get to have any of that. His reality is a stark contrast to the beautiful picture in his mind and so it only serves to further depress him.

Outside the cab's windows, the darkened but just as busy streets of New York go past but Robin's thoughts are all for Barney as he sits glumly staring down at the dog he loves so much and he's about to give up. "You're quiet," she observes. Her hand finds his forearm in the dimness of the cab. "Are you gonna be okay?"

He looks up, seeing the worry on her face, and prompts himself to rein it in. "Of course. The Barnacle's always okay. Nothing can touch him."

Robin smiles. "The Barnacle," she repeats, letting the rest of his obviously false statement pass. "I haven't heard that one in awhile. Are you bringing it back?"

"I've tried to bring a lot of things back. It doesn't always work."

She knows his statement has a deeper meaning to it but he doesn't expound any further and she senses that she's wise to keep silent on it too. She just lets her fingers softly graze over his atop Brover's fury head where they're both petting him.


Ten minutes later, they arrive at the address Barney was given and silently file out of the cab to find Apartment 25. Rounding the corner, he stops at the proper door, sighing as he turns to face Robin. She puts on her brightest, most encouraging fake smile for his benefit. He's grateful, but he can also see right through it.

She steps closer to his side. "You ready to say goodbye?"

It's a loaded question with a double meaning she can't even begin to understand.

Barney glances back at Robin. With her, he knows he'll never be ready. It's impossible. He'll always love her. He'll never be able to let her go. But, looking down at Brover, he nods. Robin smiles supportingly and his heart feels yet another inappropriate burst of love for her. "Thanks for coming with me."

"Aw." Their eyes meet for a moment and in that second she wants to kiss every last bit of his pain away. Needing a distraction, she reaches out and starts petting Brover instead. Besides, it's not like what she did is so great. He once extended a similar kindness to her. "Well, you did the same for me back when I had to give away all my dogs." She never mentioned it again until now but she's thought about it a lot over the years.

It was almost six years ago now. She was still with Ted then but their relationship was already on rocky ground, though neither of them would admit it. They'd been fighting constantly about her dogs and the fact that Ted didn't think she should get to keep them when they'd all originally been gifts from ex-boyfriends. Barney told her she shouldn't have to give up anything she loved, for Ted or anyone. She shouldn't have to change or compromise for a man. But she assured him that Lily was right; it really would be for the dogs own good. They'd be happier up on her aunt's farm. Still, Barney insisted that he was going with her to give them away. Truth be told, she was really glad for the moral support. No one else, lest of all Ted, even thought to offer.

Robin gazes fondly up at him. "Remember?"

"Oh, yeah," Barney grins at the memory. It was a more than five hour drive up to her aunt's place and it was good practice for him. After Ted humiliated him with the Fiero incident, Robin felt bad for him and had secretly given him driving lessons the entire summer before while Marshall and Ted had been too busy with his broken heart to notice their absence. But it turned out those deserted, back country roads were just what he needed. After that, he passed the driving test and had his license within the month.

"We drove to your aunt's farm upstate," he reminisces aloud. "She was awesome." That earns a big smile from Robin so he continues. "I love that she was this wise, old, chilled out lesbian farmer."

He really did love her aunt. She showed him all around the farm, which normally wouldn't be his thing but there was something about her wisdom and blunt honesty that he found refreshing. He and Robin even stayed for dinner, only making it back into the city very late that night. All in all, it was a great time.

It wasn't even awkward when Robin's aunt originally mistook him for her boyfriend and said she could see how perfect he was for her. Until later; then it got awkward. Robin went to say one last goodbye to her dogs and her aunt cornered him in the kitchen…..

"So what's this Ted like?" she asks with a protective suspicion that lets him know she loves her niece very much. That on its own makes her one awesome lady in his book.

"Eh, he's an okay guy," Barney allows.

"As okay as you?"

"Well, let's not talk the impossible."

She laughs heartily at that and rises even further in Barney's esteem.

When her laughter finally dies down, she looks at him seriously, pinning him with her shrewd blue eyes. "Does he love her as much as you do?"

"Excuse me?" Barney sputters. "I don't love Robin," he scoffs, backing up the statement with air quotes over the word 'love'. "Love is an emotion I'm physically incapable of feeling. Robin's my bro. Ted is her boyfriend." Robin's poor aunt doesn't look that old, and up until now her mind has been as sharp as a tack, but maybe this is early onset senility?

"Mm-hmm. And Betty's just my perfectly straight 'special friend'. Lucky for us both, Robin buys excuses easily."

"I am not in love with Robin," he insists, starting to get a little riled up now.

She raises her hands in surrender. "Have it your way."

"I'm not," he persists.

But of course he was. He genuinely didn't realize it at the time, at it's nothing to the way he loves her now, but it was there all the same, even way back then.

Barney shakes himself from the memory – and from Robin's realization only just now that her aunt really has been a lesbian all these years – to concentrate on the task at hand. As lovely as it is reminiscing with Robin, he knows the time has come to let Brover go, just like it will later that evening when he'll be forced to leave Robin with Nick.

"Oh, this is going to be tough," he admits. "Brover really was the best wingman ever." Robin pats his back consolingly, watching him wince as he knocks on the door.

Even after discovering Brover actually has a terrible name like 'Mr. Sprinkles', Barney still handles it wonderfully. He's rather proud of himself, really. It doesn't get uncomfortable until Brover's owner says, "Did this nice couple take care of you?"

Barney purses his lips and looks away, but he initially takes the misnomer in stride. He's been pacifying himself since they left her apartment by occasionally pretending as much too. But when he turns to meet Robin's eyes and sees her obvious hesitancy the moment grows awkward.

They both stand there like deer caught in the headlights, neither one knowing what to say.

Robin's in a blind panic. What can this woman see, she wonders. Can she tell just by looking at her that she's in love with Barney? Is it that obvious? Is she so transparent? If she is, then Barney must see it too. Oh dear god. She can't let Barney know. She can only think of one surefire way to throw him off the track: by broing him out right now with this woman. "That's a laugh," she says, a little too loudly and a lot too uncomfortably.

Barney turns to look at her again, sadly this time; because of course she'd be quick to set the woman straight. Of course she thinks the very idea of the two of them ever being together again is so hysterically, laughably wrong.

She can still feel the tension there between them so Robin further deepens her voice, calling Barney, "Big bro".

He merely fakes a smile that he's sure doesn't reach his eyes. Then Robin rushes to say she has to leave. She goes into her lesbian spiel and he knows what she's doing even though he doesn't want it, even though he'd rather just have the ten minute cab ride home alone with her instead.

When she gets to the part about now realizing Maureen is her lesbian life partner and she even shouts, "Surprise!", the two share a secret smile. This isn't how he wanted the night to end, and Robin would clearly rather be anywhere but here right now, but it's still all Barney can do to hold in his laughter at just how very adorable she is.

Robin pats his back one more time before taking off down the hallway, leaving him there with Brover's owner.

"So, would you like a drink?" she asks, and he knows she'll end up offering a whole lot more.

Might as well, he figures.

But before following her into her apartment, he hangs back in the doorway, looking off in Robin's direction. "Best wingman ever," he smiles bittersweetly before going inside to accept his forever single, forever without Robin fate.


It's nearly one thirty in the morning and Barney's just stepping out of his shower, getting ready for bed. Naturally he'd ducked out of Brover's apartment after sleeping with Michelle…or Mary….or maybe Martha – it was something with an 'M'. But that was actually the first one-night stand he'd had all week, and there had only been the one the week prior too, on the very night before he met Brover. Contrary to everyone's continued belief, he isn't after quick, easy sex anymore. He had sex with that woman the week before out of sheer boredom, and he only slept with Brover's owner now because Robin pushed him into it. All those nights in the past couple of weeks, hanging out at MacLaren's and with Robin, they all thought he was going off to bang some new girl every night but in reality he almost always just went home.

To say it's been difficult going back to his old lifestyle is a gross understatement. It's been nearly unbearable accepting this is all he'll ever have. But there's no choice. He's given up on any idea of ever 'getting over' Robin. Sleeping with countless women didn't do it. Three years broken up didn't do it. His heart shattering while he watched her actively pick someone else over him didn't do it. Proposing to another woman certainly didn't do it; the night of his engagement Robin was the only one he could think about. No, he's never going to stop loving her. Being forever in love with Robin while she doesn't begin to feel the same way is just his burden in life. He'll carry that love for her always.

Sleeping around now doesn't interest him any more than it does Ted. But even if he found someone who mildly piqued his interest, what would be the point of starting another relationship when he will always yearn for Robin and always wish it could be her instead?

He lets the towel drop from around his waist, slipping into his massive bed alone and remembering the night almost exactly one year ago when she shared it with him. A moment later he's reaching over to his nightstand and grabbing his phone, texting her before his brain overrules his heart and stops him.

Over at her apartment, Robin's watching the DVR recording of her evening broadcast when she hears her phone jumping on the nightstand from the vibration of an incoming text. She reads the message and then glances over to Nick, still fast asleep beside her. Finding a robe to throw on, she tiptoes into the living room. Her thumb hovers over Barney's icon before she finally opts to call him rather than texting back and forth. He answers after only half a ring.

Skipping any traditional greeting, she goes right to, "I thought you'd still be with Brover's owner. It's barely one-thirty and that was a perfect setup I gave you. What's the matter?" she teases. "Losing your touch?"

"I already made my escape."

"Ah." He had slept with her then. Not that she cares. It's totally what she expected. She got him the green light after all. And she'd had sex with Nick too, so it's not like it matters. It's not like it bothers her at all.

But it does and deep down she knows it, which is why she keeps telling herself all the more that of course it doesn't matter. "So what's with the text then? You wanted to share the details?" She tries to imbue her voice with the right mixture of bro-like interest and pleasant disgust – and not at all the stabbing, maddening jealousy she has no right to feel.

Lying in his bed at home, Robin's words are like a punch to the gut. Graphic details of his one-night stand, that's what she thinks he wants to talk about it. And she's perfectly ready to too. He was a fool for thinking….well, he doesn't know what he was thinking. He hadn't been thinking and that's the problem. He was just longing for her and he let his heart get ahead of his mind. "No, I – I don't know why I – maybe I hit the wrong button. Never mind." He starts to hang up but he hears her calling out.

"Wait. Wait."

He sighs, but brings the phone back to his ear. "I'm here," he tells her.

"Barney….what's wrong?"

He can hear the very real concern in her voice again and it makes him ashamed for giving her cause to worry in the first place. "Nothing," he promises. "I'm alright." But he doesn't want to lie to her anymore. Oh how he wishes he could tell her the truth for once, every last bit of it. "It's just…."

"You miss Quinn," Robin quietly fills in the blank. "You're lonely. It only makes sense." She swallows heavily, giving herself an inner pep talk. She can do this. Barney needs her and she can be there for him as a friend. Even if it means listening to how much he loved Quinn. Taking a deep, fortifying breath, she continues. "You were going to marry her, so of course you still miss her. Anyone could understand that."

"No. No, you don't understand." After weeks of listening to her tell him his behavior is all about Quinn, it finally comes bursting out. "I don't miss Quinn. It's not about Quinn. But…."

"What?" she asks softly. "It's okay. You can tell me. No one else has to know, just us."

"Maybe….maybe I am lonely sometimes. Maybe I do miss…" You. Being with you. "…being in a relationship." Even that hits too close to home, so he immediately backpedals. "Sometimes. But mostly I rock at being single. I just need my little wingman."

Curled up on the couch, Robin ignores his continued claim that it's all about the dog and focuses instead on the first part. "Well good. That's good, Barney. You've grown beyond all the cheap, mindless hook-ups. They're not enough for you anymore, and that's a good thing. That's really good. And, hey, it's okay to feel lonely sometimes."

"It doesn't feel good. I mean, look at me. Look what I've been reduced to. I had a dog for a wingman."

Robin laughs, and even through the phone her laughter warms his heart. "But you don't need to be," she reassures him. "You have me."

Now it's Barney's turn to smile. "Do I?"

"Yes. I'm your – " She cuts herself off, switching tracks before saying anything too revealing. "I'm a wingwoman extraordinaire. Don't you remember? Didn't I prove it tonight?"

Barney nods. "I remember." Having her in his life this way is better than not at all. He decided that months ago and he's just going to have to stick to it. "So you're gonna be my wingwoman, huh?"

Robin doesn't relish the thought but she'll do it, for him. "If that's what you need."

"How about we just stick with bros? I could use one of those right now."

"You've got it."