29.

Noah veered from his team huddle to greet Sonny and Brooke as they set up folding chairs next to Olivia and Ed.

"Sonny! See my keets?"

Carisi knelt down to inspect the footwear. "Niiice! I like the silver."

The referee blew the whistle.

"No, you better go now, pal. Good luck!"

"Kay, Daddy!"

Carisi sat down next to Ed, marveled at how organized everything looked, and Ed remarked that the games usually began well but soon became a chaotic mess of kids running in one gigantic mass. "If anyone scores a goal," Ed said, "It'll be in the first five minutes."

"Well, glad I could come," Sonny said, "Nice to have the weekend off. Well," he glanced at Olivia, "Except for tomorrow."

"It's nice of you to cover for Fin," Olivia said, "It's his first Father's Day as grandpa."

Sonny cringed, "Don't say that around him. I called him gramps and he almost tore me a new one. But…you're the boss, so you're safe, Lieu."

Olivia laughed, "I don't know, he's kinda prickly with that term."

Once the game started, Ed could no longer sit and he gravitated toward the sidelines with the other Dads. Carisi followed. Olivia got comfortable in the chair and watched Noah and the other kids blend in with one another, knowing that she would be able to tell by keeping an eye on Ed if he was breaking away for another goal. She sized up her husband, liking the way his calves contracted as he moved to follow the action and relishing the sight of him in khaki cargo shorts and a black pullover. He'd emerged that morning with a different shirt on, but Noah frowned and explained that he wanted Daddy to wear black since he was wearing his black jersey. Ed changed clothes without question. The pullover was fitted enough to hint at his toned physique and even though she'd spent part of the night cuddled against his bare chest, there was something alluring about him in this setting.

Figuring she'd admired her husband long enough, Olivia asked about Sarah. She hadn't missed a game since the season started.

Brooke removed the lid from her coffee and blew into the steaming liquid, "Sleeping in. She got home pretty late."

Olivia nodded. Yesterday, in her haste to get everything ready for this afternoon's get-together, she'd forgotten to follow up with Sarah, but she assumed everything went according to plan, the evening ended without incident, and Sarah went on with her life.

"Annnd," Brooke continued, "She's afraid to tell you, but…she's going to leave your place early today. Apparently, she met some guy and he's taking her out to dinner."

It was all Olivia could do to keep herself from choking on her own coffee. "Where…" she coughed a little, "Where'd she meet him?"

"I dunno," Brooke responded gloomily and lowered her voice, "I was so busy with the end of the school year, and…things with Sonny…they've been so great, we really haven't talked much."

Unable to think of another innocent question, Olivia asked about whether or not Brooke had talked to Sarah or to Carisi about their living situation.

"No," Brooke was whispering now, "But I really want to talk to you about something."

Olivia turned and tucked on leg underneath her. "What's goin' on?"

Brooke checked to make sure Sonny was sufficiently occupied. "It involves the L-word."

Taken aback, Olivia opened her eyes wide and leaned in, wanting more information. "He said it?"

"He said—"

"Brooke! Lieu! Look!"

On the field, Noah and his opponent chased after the ball. They matched one another stride for stride until they got closer to the object. The other boy, a little taller and bigger than Noah, crossed his path, tripping Noah, and causing him to fly forward. He landed on his hands and knees and slid a foot or so on the slick grass.

Ed started to run to his side and Olivia ejected herself from the chair, expecting their son to burst into tears. Surprising both his parents, Noah pulled himself up and, with a look of sheer determination, continued his pursuit of the now-out-of-bounds ball. The referee set up for the corner kick and waved Noah over.

"Eighteen! You take this one!"

All four of Noah's family members watched intently as he scrunched up his face and concentrated.

"Go ahead, buddy," The referee said.

"I kick da ball now?"
"Yep!"

"Kay," Noah said through clenched teeth. He took a running start and launched the ball forward with a ferocious kick. It bounded toward the other kids, caromed off a few legs, and then back in Noah's direction.

"Boot it again, pal!" Ed shouted, unable to contain his excitement.

Olivia held her own face in her hands.

Brooke clutched Sonny's forearm. "Kick it, Noah!"

Noah ran to the ball and tapped it a couple times before he wound up and fired. The ball grazed the goal post and ricocheted into the net.

"GOAL!"

"NOAHHHHHH!" Carisi shouted, jabbing the air with his arms. If it weren't for Brooke hugging his waist, he may have sprinted onto the field.

Ed beamed. Olivia grinned from ear to ear.

Brooke screwed up her face. All of the other kids, including members of the other team, were jumping up and down in celebration. Noah, however, remained motionless until the referee approached him. The young man knelt down, exchanged a few words with the little boy, mussed his hair, and jogged to get the ball out of the net. Noah ran back to the middle of the field.

"Wonder what he said?" Olivia mused.

After the game, Ed went over to ask the referee and he returned, grinning, after a few minutes.

"Noah didn't think it was a goal," he explained, unable to stop smiling, "Because it hit the post."

Noah overheard. "It ok!" He said cheerfully, "Still went in da net!"

"Liv," Ed panted desperately. He grasped her shoulders and helped her slide up his body to meet his mouth in a deep, fiery kiss.

"Happy Father's Day, Captain," she rasped pausing to inhale a sharp breath. Ed throbbed with arousal and he tried to think about something else, anything else, to calm himself down, but his wife was too beautiful and the affections she'd just lavished on him with her lips and tongue were so rare that he had to tear his lips from hers and rush to flip them over. "I need you. Now," he explained and proceeded to do all he could to show his appreciation for what she'd just done.

Olivia scratched and squeezed at him as he began with a rapid pace and then slowed suddenly.

"Scream for me, baby."

"Harder."

He looped one arm under her and put the other hand on her thigh, spread her legs wide, and slammed back into her until the requested shrieks filled the air. If Ed hadn't been on the verge of his own, almost violent, release he would have bet money that the sounds had woken Noah. When Ed collapsed on top of his wife, sweating and barely able to breathe, his head cleared just enough to think that, any minute, they would hear their son cry out for them or, perhaps, request entry.

"Liv."

"Yeah?" Totally spent, Olivia's legs and one of her arms were splayed across the bed. The other arm curled around Ed's shoulders and she ran her fingertips along his shoulder blades.

"I dunno what to say."

"Me neither."

"Fuck."

Olivia felt his lips move against her chest and she shivered at the sensation. "You okay?"

"More than okay, thank you." Ed propped himself on an elbow so he could see her face.

The plush pillow encased her head and she blinked expectantly. "At what point does Noah show up?" She joked.

"That was loud."

"Yeah it was," she replied with a flirty smile.

"Liv, I know, it's not always—"

Seeing the deep gratitude mixed with concern in his eyes, Olivia immediately put a finger to his lips. "I wanted to do it, Ed."

He pursed his lips against her finger. "You know it's not necessary…right?"

"I know…but…every once in a while—"

"It's outta your comfort zone, Liv, I—"

Olivia caressed his cheek, "It usually is. But I…I don't know…it felt…right. And it still does."

Ed closed his eyes and took a deep breath. "Okay," he rasped, putting his head back on her chest. A few minutes later, Olivia felt his breathing get heavier with sleep. She stared at the ceiling, thinking about the day and allowing reality to wash back over her.

The party went off without a hitch. John and Margie behaved themselves, and Caroline spent most of the time bantering with Carisi who charmed her with his witty intellect and his polite manners. As an added bonus, Caroline approved of the way he mixed gin-and-tonics.

"Brookey," Caroline said after one particular refill, "You hang on to this boy. And if you don't, send 'em over to me!"

"Okay, Grandma," Brooke placated.

"And, I'm going to have you two over for Sunday dinner next weekend," Caroline added spontaneously. "I'm sure Sonny can have the afternoon off, he has pull with the boss!"

The boss winked at Brooke when Caroline uttered her compliments and, later on, when Ed and Carisi were assessing Noah's walls for another floating shelf installation, Olivia pressed Brooke for more details about, as Brooke had put it, the L-Word. Unlike the last reveal of her private life, Brooke was at ease and casually tucked strands of hair behind her ear. Keeping one eye out for signs of the men, she relayed the story in a hushed voice.

"We were in bed. And he said he was falling in love with me."

"And…you said?"

"Um," Now she blushed, "We were kinda in the middle of something, so I didn't actually say anything."

Biting her lip to keep from smiling, Olivia astutely pointed out, "So that's twice he's put something out there and…"

"Shit," Brooke said with an exasperated chuckle, "And I've left it…out there."

"Don't do or say anything you're not ready for," Olivia put her hand on Brooke's forearm, "But, maybe, he'd appreciate knowing you're thinking about it…and where this is headed? And, maybe, you like where it's headed? If, in fact, you do?"

Brooke smiled gratefully, "Good point. Yeah. I can do that. Doesn't sound too scary."

"It's always a little scary."

"But he deserves something."

The guys returned, seemingly talking at once but also deeply engaged in conversation. They each held a beer and Carisi transported Noah on one leg. The little boy held on with a death grip and Carisi swung him with each exaggerated step.

"Yeah," Olivia murmured, "That he does."

Olivia managed a few minutes of alone time with Sarah under the guise of showing her the lion costume Noah would wear next week for his preschool's concert. In Noah's room, Sarah gushed over the garb, but her glee didn't last long. Olivia treaded lightly, but seriously.

"I didn't hear from you after you met with the Chief."

Sarah kept her eyes fixed on the costume, "Not much to report."

"You sure?"

"Livvie," Sarah replied sweetly, "It was no big deal. We had a couple of drinks. He's a nice guy. Seems kinda lonely. I overreacted, and I shouldn't have bothered you at your office."

Slightly hurt, Olivia replied, "You can come to my office anytime. You can come here anytime. You can call or text anytime. You know that, right?"

Sarah gazed out the window, "Of course."

"Who are you going to dinner with tonight?"

Sarah pinched her forehead and swallowed the burn of the lie she was about to tell. "Someone from work. He's…his family's in California, so I kind of felt bad for him."

"You could've invited him here."

"We're coworkers," The ease with which the fabricated story flew out of Sarah's mouth frightened her and she fought back a wince and gulped remorse. "I don't want to give him the wrong idea."

Olivia didn't believe anything Sarah said, and her emotions toggled back and forth between motherly disappointment and anger at being betrayed. She made up her mind right there to tell Ed everything and vowed to come clean as soon as their guests were gone.

The problem was, the night ended perfectly. After Sarah left, everyone else passed the evening playing games and engaging in friendly trash-talk and hearty laughter. Noah made sure to sit on everyone's lap—he began the gaming sitting with Olivia, moved to Brooke, then Carisi, and ended the night falling asleep against Ed's chest during the second round of Scrabble. It was just past midnight when Brooke and Sonny departed, and, as everyone exchanged goodbyes, Brooke and Olivia grinned when they witnessed Ed shake Carisi's hand and then pull him close in a kind of collegial, half-hug.

Olivia and Ed stowed the games and loaded glasses into the dishwasher. All the while, Ed wore a proud smirk and when Olivia asked what he was thinking about, he simply replied, "This was really fun."

Nodding at the clock, Olivia said, "Well, it's officially Father's Day…care for a little more fun, Captain?"

Now here she was, cradling Ed as he slept against her bare breasts, wondering when exactly the moment of truth would present itself. Noah would be up in a couple hours and he had elaborate plans for "Favver's Day"—breakfast, the park, and, of course, presents. Olivia convinced herself there was no harm in delaying the conversation. Bothering her more was Sarah's evasion but also her unmistakable giddiness—she was clearly excited and eager to leave the apartment for her dinner date, and Olivia had a hard time attributing the mood to Chief Dodds.

Ed stirred briefly in a dream, and lifted his head with a start before nestling back into his wife. Olivia's affection for him was, at that instant, trumped only by her guilt and what she knew he would see as a breach of the trust they'd so carefully constructed. She decided against waking him right then and instead vowed to tell him everything first thing tomorrow morning before they continued their Father's Day celebration.

"Daddy, Daddy, Daddy, Daddy!"

Ed woke up in the wee hours of morning. Rather than get dressed, he locked the bedroom door, returned to bed, and snuggled next to his wife. He covered them with the duvet and looped one leg around hers, preferring to spend the rest of their early morning as close together as possible.

An hour and a half later as the sun began sending rays of light across the bedroom, he heard Noah's footsteps, faint at first and growing stronger as he drew near. Noah could open the door, but, finding it more difficult than usual, pounded on it with his little fists. As far as Ed was concerned, it was the only acceptable interruption.

His son.

The little boy he'd always wanted but never thought he'd get a chance to raise.

Until, in his early fifties, everything changed. Olivia Benson suddenly became attainable. She remained aloof at first, distant, holding him at arm's length until one day, after they'd kissed a few times, he laid everything on the line.

I want you and your son.

Of course, he was more eloquent about it. Their early conversations, as they got to know one another as colleagues, then friends, and, finally, lovers, were often uncomfortable. But, they hashed everything out, they found common ground, they forgave…yet, Olivia always hesitated. Ed could tell by the look on her face that he hadn't fully won her over.

"I feel like, someday, you're going to realize you don't want a girlfriend and her kid and you'll just throw your hands up and leave."

Her honesty humbled, chastened, and also disappointed him. But it had to be said. And that day, a few weeks before Mike Dodds died, Ed made it very clear that, in his mind, his life now included the three of them.

And he had never been happier.

"Dad-dy! Dad-dy! You in dere?"

Ed found a pair of shorts and a t-shirt. Olivia mumbled something unintelligible and yanked a sheet over her head.

Noah stood on the other side of the door clad in his football pajamas with Bernie in one hand. Adorably, his bed head was even more wild than usual and he looked up at Ed with a slight glare, annoyed he'd been locked out on this special day.

"Hey bud! G'mornin!"

Noah noticed his mother still sleeping and whispered, "It Favver's Day."

"Yeah, pal. Let's let Mommy sleep s'more."

"Have pessent fer Daddy."

"Can I wait to get it, bud? So Mommy can see me open it, too?"

"Uh-huh! We watch c'toons?"

"Yeah, go press the buttons and I'm gonna make coffee. You want juice or milk?"

"Choc'it milk!"

"You got it!"

Ed mixed the chocolate milk and delivered Noah's cup before he made the coffee.

"Fank you, Daddy!"

"You're welcome, pal." Ed flipped through the channels and found Noah's shows. "Here ya go."

"You watch wiff me?"

"Yeah, pal, hang on a minute, I'm getting my coffee."

The Kuerig growled, rumbled, and spewed a fresh cup of dark roast. Ed took his usual spot beside Noah who hadn't yet taken a sip. He held out the plastic sippy cup and shouted, "Cheers!"

Ed grinned, "Cheers, pal. I love you."

"Lubbyou Daddy! It Favvers Day!" Then he gulped down his rare sweet morning treat, contentedly watching cartoons cuddled securely under Ed's arm.

….

After making breakfast together, the three Tuckers packed a bag and headed to the park for a couple hours. They began at the playground and then parked themselves on a blanket in a partially shaded spot which provided a perfect view of people frolicking on the lawn and the midtown skyline. Noah performed somersaults nearby and inspected the ground for unique pebbles which he piled on one corner of the blanket with specific instructions to leave the collection alone. With him occupied, Olivia took a deep breath and told Ed about Sarah.

Predictably, his jaw stiffened as he processed the news that Chief Dodds brazenly called his daughter and took her out for drinks. More unbelievable to Ed, though, was that Sarah accepted.

"She said something about being caught off guard," Olivia explained.

"What the hell does that mean? It's a yes or no question for Chrissakes."

Olivia reached over and gripped his shoulders, turning him to face her. "Sarah asked me to keep it between the two of us and I'm sorry I didn't tell you right away. I thought…I didn't want to ruin yesterday and today, but I just felt more and more guilty."

Ed's features softened slightly, "I trust you to make those decisions, Liv. I don't expect you to tell me everything Sarah and Brooke tell you. Like the other day, I don't need to know about whatever it was Brooke came over to talk about."

Olivia pressed her lips together. "But, Chief Dodds? Having drinks with Sarah? That doesn't bother you?"

"Of course it does, he and I, we go way back, way, way back to the academy even. I've never liked him, I don't trust him…too political…always looking to win points with the DA and the Mayor and everybody else." Ed saw the skepticism on Olivia's face. "What else, Liv?"

"Last night…I think she may have had dinner with him."

"What? Why?"

"She said she was going out with someone from work, but she was lying, Ed. I…I'm a cop…I can tell…and Brooke said she was out late Friday night without saying exactly who she was with."

Ed pulled his phone from his pocket.

"What are you doing?"

"Calling Sarah."

"To say what?"

"I'm going to ask her if she's seeing Bill Dodds. And then I'm going to tell her he's a deplorable human being."

"Ed, she's an adult. Do you really think she's going to not see someone because you don't approve?"

He tossed the phone aside. "So what am I supposed to do? Let her keep lying to you? Us? You really think we're gonna be hosting family stuff with Bill Dodds in attendance? Seriously?"

Olivia only stared back at him, unsure of the answer.

"And Sarah's so screwed up, she doesn't know what she wants. Getting attention from an old man like Dodds? Has power? She probably thinks she loves it…but he's not…" Ed trailed off.

"Not what?"

"I know him, Liv. I know what he's about. He always had…young, beautiful women he liked to impress," Mortification filled Ed's features as he came to a realization and murmured, "The medal ceremony."

"What?"

"He always has a date there, and for the ball, and…that's what he's up to. Wants his pretty young date for the next event."

Olivia rifled through her memory. With the exception of a few functions, Ed was right. Dodds usually brought an attractive young date to NYPD functions. "Surely, Sarah wouldn't just show up with him? Without telling us? Or Brooke? Obviously, we'll be there."

Ed's shoulders slumped. "Liv, right now, I wouldn't put anything out of the realm of possibility."

"Hey," Olivia scooted so their knees were touching and she took his hands in hers, "I'm really sorry."

"It's not your fault Sarah's a mess."

"But it is my fault I kept something from you."

"You were just tryin' to have a smooth weekend. I get it."

Olivia dipped her head and stared intently into his eyes, "Ed, please tell me, if you're upset. You have every right to be. I don't want…this…or anything else to drive a wedge between us. We're…so good."

With nothing but pure love in his eyes, he gazed back at her and leaned in for a kiss. "We are. And I'm sorry she put you in a tough spot. Again. You don't deserve that…to be punished for being…you." He kissed her again, this time lingering on her lips and fully intending to cross the line to a type of PDA that would typically make Olivia balk, but Ed had competition.

From a few feet away, Noah caught sight of his parents locked in their amorous embrace. He took a running start and propelled his little body onto Olivia's back and wrapped his arms around her shoulders.

Ed and Olivia groaned as they crashed into each other. Noah giggled.

"Hi, sweet Noah!"

"Hey bud!"

Noah reached over and tried to include Ed in the hug. "You kiss Mommy 'gain?"

"Yep."

Noah pressed a firm kiss against the side of Olivia's head. "I kiss Mommy, too!"

Olivia flipped him over on his back between them and tickling ensued. When they let up, she cradled the boy like an infant and he contentedly soaked up the affection. "I love you, Noah."

"Lubbyou Mommy," he cooed back and twirled a strand of her hair.

"When should we give Daddy his presents?"

"Ri'now!"

"We have to go home to get them."

"Kay, wegohome!"

The decision surprised both Olivia and Ed.

"Must be some good presents," Ed remarked.

"We'll see," Olivia replied.

She tried to sound mysterious, but Ed mistook it for gloom. On the way out of the park, he nudged her playfully.

"You okay?" He had the blanket rolled under one arm and Noah in the other and she attempted to take something from him to lighten the load.

"Oh, I'm good," he said, "How many people in this city?"

Olivia furrowed her brow. "Nine million?"

"So roughly four and a half million men."

"Yeahhh."

His eyes narrowed as he shot her an extra-flirty smirk. "And I'm the luckiest one."

"Daddy, you sit dere." Noah pointed to the oversized easy chair and ran back to his bedroom.

Olivia perched herself on the sofa and handed Ed a card. "From me," she explained, "You should probably open Noah's last."

"Okay." He ran his finger under the fold of the envelope and opened the card. Something resembling a thin receipt book fell out and Ed laughed appreciatively as he read it. "Bourbon of the Month Club, huh? Thank you, baby."

"It sounded interesting."

"I'll share."

Ed began reading the card and blinked back his emotions.

"By myself," Olivia said, adding to her inscribed message, "I could've given Noah everything…except you. His life is…complete. And when I see him with you, I…I can't describe how happy it makes me. So that's why…when…this thing with—"

"Liv, stop," he put a hand on her thigh, "I love you more today than I did yesterday and I trust you more every single day." His eyes drilled into hers, "I. Trust. You. More than anyone."

Olivia didn't have time to start crying. Noah, jubilant and unaware of Sarah's drama, dumped two wrapped packages into Ed's lap and clambered into the chair with him.

"Ok, bud, which one first?"

Noah held up the smaller of the two, "Dis!"

Ed unwrapped the present and held up a black-and-white-striped tie. "I love it, No!"

"I know you have dozens of those," Olivia said, "but he insisted."

"For p'lice!"

"Yes, sweet boy, and what else? What about the colors?"

"Da soccer colors!"

"Sure is! Wow, Noah, you're so thoughtful."

"Yep," Noah replied. He shoved the other box at Ed, "Now dis!"

Inside was a book that, at first, Ed thought was a photo album. On the cover was a Noah-created drawing that Ed had never seen before. It had been transferred to hard plastic. The drawing was of two figures—one tall and one smaller and drawn on top of the other person. Ed asked Noah to tell him about it.

"Dat you," Noah pointed to the tall figure, "And dat me! Dat how you carry me!"

Noah had drawn himself riding on his Daddy's shoulders.

Olivia couldn't take it. She dabbed at her eyes.

Noah flipped the pages. Indeed, it was a photo album, but next to each photo was a button.

"Pess it!"

Ed pressed.

Out came Noah's voice.

Dis me an' Daddy at da beach.

Dis me an' Daddy at soccer.

Dis me an' Daddy at da pub!

Dis Daddy! He push da swing!

Olivia collected images of Ed and Noah from their earliest days together until a few weeks ago and had Noah narrate the captions. Ed held Noah tighter with each recording and, by the end, Noah was speaking right along with his recorded voice, giggling during each pause. Good thing, because both his parents struggled not to completely break down in a cascade of happy tears.

"I love it, Noah. Thank you, pal. Gimme a hug."

Noah bear-hugged Ed.

"Really good presents," Ed murmured, nearly choking from the little boy's hold on his neck. "Really good."

…..

#Tuckson