This is the chapter my friends, where it all changes. Midnight has turned out to be a very unforgiving place. Eventually it will get better; I promise, but today is a rough day for the TARDIS crew. Again I mention, if you have any triggers about difficult pregnancies and their possible outcomes, this may not be the chapter for you.

I'm sorry, so, so sorry.

29 Shattered

Donna has just started telling Ella about the Ood Sphere when the door slides open, Jack and the Doctor rushing in. Behind them the door closes, and they hear several large booms and a sealing of air as the room is locked and placed in quarantine. Donna knows it isn't physical, but she's sure the air in the room just became more still and heavy, like a weight pressing in on them.

Jack shadows the Doctor protectively as they enter. Donna and Ella have barely noticed him, arrested as they are by the sight of the Doctor's eyes glowing gold, and an expression that once quelled Satan himself etched on his face. Standing in front of the sphere a moment he gazes fixedly at Rose, trying to reach their bond. Finding himself still unsuccessful, the Doctor turns back to Donna and Dr. Ella, causing them to jump a little under his unsettling gaze.

"I need to reach my wife," he states flatly.

"I have been unable to make contact with her, Doctor. I cannot feel her with my mind, and her energy repulses me. What happened out there?" Doctor Ellasiera asks, not at all liking the feel of him or the darkness swirling through his own energy. His shields are so tight he's almost as invisible psychically as his wife.

"A psychic creature of some kind found a way into one of the passengers. In trying to figure it out, it took me, and I couldn't stop it." His eyes close in pain at the memory. It's obvious that he's done nothing for the past hour and a half but tear into himself over the events.

"The passengers tried to get at the Doctor, but that wasn't going to happen," Jack states fiercely. Finally looking at him, Donna sees the black eye that's forming and the small cuts around his mouth and eyes. He had fought hard for the Doctor. "I thought we were safe when the attendant figured out what happened and sacrificed herself, taking the creature with her."

"But she didn't. Instead two more innocent people died," the Doctor spits out angrily before continuing, turning back to stare at his affected wife, "It must have felt my bond to Rose, and when it shut me down, it was able to leap through me to her once it realised it had been found out. I felt it. I tried to hold it, but I couldn't. It slid through my mind like oil and directly into Rose. She's saving everyone right now and doesn't even know it."

"I discovered that she was protecting us and the rest of the resort when her energy was keeping me out. It is why I had Dr. Rilleen lock us in quarantine. If she does not hear from us in twenty-four hours, or I do not call with the password, she will expose the room to the sun," Ella tells him clearly, moving up beside him and the sphere.

Seeing the Doctors together, and not distracted by his disconcerting eyes, Donna finally throws herself at Jack who holds her tightly to himself despite the groan of pain he inadvertently makes.

"I knew you couldn't be trusted to go anywhere on your own," she tells him, crying into his shoulder; the scent of her Jack helping to calm some of her nerves. His, "I know," is muffled by her hair. Pulling back to kiss her gently, he looks down at her lovingly, drinking in her face and the light in her eyes regardless of her tears. There had been many tense minutes on that bus when he wasn't certain he would ever see Donna again. Now, that they'd made it back, he feels desperately worried for Rose and the baby, but having Donna in his arms helps.

"If it wanted a telepathic person, why didn't it go for the Doctor right away, or you?" Donna asks, trying to understand.

"It's not about telepathy," the Doctor answers, his back still to them. "I think it liked Skye Silvestry's fear. She was having a panic attack when things started to happen. I think it feeds off fear or strong emotion. But being a creature of pure thought, it is so much more than merely telepathic. I didn't realise that. It took me like you could pin a butterfly to a board, and because the passengers were afraid, it discovered that they'd be more afraid of me than Skye. So it hid in her, and used me like a marionette." The bitterness in the Doctor's tone scares Donna. He's standing in his rumpled suit, vibrating like a wire so taut it might break, his hands stuffed in the pockets of his trousers; and Donna doesn't like it. She has to do something to break him out of this...hesitation.

"Doctor, this isn't your fault; you didn't know. Just fix this. Figure out a way and get to Rose. You're both all Bad Wolf-y; maybe she'll let you in," Donna tells him gently, pushing him to not wallow in self pity. There are still people to save.

Turning his dreadful eyes on Donna, the Doctor actually smiles, and a real smile too. "We're both Bad Wolf-y...Donna Noble, you are brilliant! What would I do without you?" he asks rhetorically, turning back to the golden mist and sliding his hands from his pockets.

"Get in even more trouble," she mutters under her breath. Jack bumps shoulders with her in commiseration, and she takes his hand in hers as they watch the Doctor raise both hands and begin humming softly.

Dr. Ella watches him, fascinated. She is 'looking' at him exclusively with her mind at this point, completely amazed at what his energy is doing. She ignores the wrapping strands of time; they are so thick around the Doctor that they would obscure him from her 'sight'. Only seeing his personal aural energy, she watches as it coils tightly about him, thousands of tiny blue filaments reaching out to touch the wall of Rose's protective sphere as he hums. One of the filaments finds a way through and glows more brightly. Focusing on it, he tunes his hum to what must be the correct frequency, because in a flash of gold, he steps through and into the sphere, instantly rushing to Rose's side.


Upon reaching her, the Doctor takes Rose's hand in his, still feeling the buzz of the golden fire around them. Inside it feels different, colder; Rose is colder. Suddenly, in a moment of possible understanding, the Doctor stretches out for Rose and their Bond. Feeling the Bond flare to life, the Doctor reaches further, looking for Rose...and their son.

Falling into Rose's mind is not what he expected when reaching for her. Before, her shields had been so strong, they'd kept him out effortlessly. This time, there is no resistance. Falling all the way to her Foyer, he picks himself up, looking around. The last time he was here, it was brightly lit, covered in vines and beautiful. Now, he can just make out the vines, but the space is dark and hollow, a poisonous heaviness hanging in the air around him. Not seeing Rose immediately, he walks forward, calling for her.

It feels like miles to him, but eventually he sees a glimmer of light and wills himself to the illumination. Arriving at the door to a barren room of stone in an instant, the Doctor sees within his naked and shining wife huddled in a corner, cradling a bright luminescence to her chest. Around her is a pulsing fibrous mass of black that is actively pulling her brightness into itself. Even in the few seconds he's watched, the Doctor can see the light in her arms dimming, her repeated "No, no!" landing like blows against his hearts. The creature is feeding off his wife's fear and her life-force as Rose tries to pour herself into their son.

Feeling something click in his own mind, the Doctor steps into the room with an incoherent roar. Tapping the deadly golden energy within himself, he reaches for the black tendrils.

Hearing his bellow, Rose's head snaps up and her own Bad Wolf energy flares to life. Still clutching the spark to her chest, Rose and the Doctor both reach for the inky limbs of the unknown creature together.

Each grasping a part of the thought-beast where it surrounds Rose, it begins to writhe and twist in an attempt to dissipate or escape. Spreading out from both their hands, a golden light pulses along the filaments, branches, and roots of the unknown creature. Stronger together than they are apart, the combined wills of the Doctor and Rose encompass the mass, and in one shining, screaming instant the mystery is no more. It will never be learned from, never be understood; it is only gone.


Outside, the sphere of golden mist suddenly flares to a point that Ella, Jack, and Donna have to cover their eyes. Feeling a silent pop, they squint toward the bed and see the sphere gone. The screams of the main monitor and the secondary scanner suddenly fill the room with their harsh tones, announcing the wrongness of the situation.

Rushing to Rose's side, Ella tries to move the Doctor, but he's locked to Rose's hand, rigid and tense, unhearing as he's still completely focused within his wife.

Looking at the patterns their energy is making, Ella sees exactly what has happened. Rose is hemorrhaging energy, and the Doctor is trying to plug the leak with his own, but more worrisome is the baby. Energetically, he's almost gone. Snapping back to the physical issues, she sees the monitor showing severe placental abruption, and the bed around Rose is red with her blood. Screaming her password into the computer in her palm, she orders their immediate release and a full surgical prep—she can't save their child, but if she doesn't hurry she might lose them all.

Leaning in, she takes a deep breath, apologetic for the intrusion. Placing a finger against his temple Dr. Ella pushes the situation into the Doctor's mind, willing him to understand.

Donna and Jack stand rooted, wrapped in each other's arms, watching as the team bursts through the opening door and leaps to the task of saving Rose and the Doctor. Feeling helpless, all they can do is wish and pray that they aren't about to watch their family be torn apart.


Collapsing to the floor of the room in her mind, Rose can barely sit up. The Doctor rushes to her side, cradling her to him, rocking her back and forth, feeling the cool smoothness of her skin beneath his palms.

"I've got you. I'm here now. I love you so much, Rose. I'm so sorry." The words pour out of him as he looks down on his wife. Blinking up at him, Rose tries to smile, but she's too exhausted, her eyes cloudy and unfocused.

"I saved him, Doctor. I wrapped him up tight and kept him safe...see?" she says softly in a dreamy sort of voice—delirious. Opening her hands, she shows the Doctor the little spark of light nestled in her palms—a tiny green moth, trying to open his wings.

Repressing a sob and knowing that she doesn't yet understand, the Doctor tries to reach his wife.

"Rose, my precious girl, look at me, my love." When she doesn't and continues gazing at the little moth in her hands, he shakes her gently. "Rose, look at me!"

Slowly, almost painfully, Rose tears her eyes from the struggling moth and locks her gaze to her husband's. "You have to let him go, Rose. He's already...gone. Rose, you have to let this piece go," he tells her, willing her to understand and desperately trying to hold himself together beyond the burning behind his eyes and the tightness in his chest.

Blinking again, her gaze clearing, Rose looks back at the Doctor and around the room, eyes wide and more here than she'd been before. "Doctor! Where are we? There was this thing, and you were gone, and I couldn't stop it, but I had to...I had so little time to..." Trailing off as she looks for explanations, Rose looks at what's resting in her cupped hands and begins trembling. "Doctor—"

"I know, Rose. I know. There was nothing we could do. I was gone too long, and we had to be together...Rose! I am so sorry!" he sobs out, clutching her to his chest. Gasping more words into her hair, his eyes slam shut on the tears as they pour down his face, dampening the blonde strands. "I couldn't stop it from reaching you. I tried so hard."

"I know. I felt you. But our baby, he's gone, isn't he?" Rose's voice sounds hollow, but it's clear, and that worries the Doctor even more. Leaning back again, so he can see his wife's face, the lack of emotion stuns him. He's just about to answer her, when he feels Dr. Ella reach out for him. Receiving the block of information makes his blood run cold.

"Rose, look at me, darling." When she finally does, he sees the deep well of sadness, and the desire to not go on that Ella just warned him about. This is not his Rose looking at him with dead and despairing eyes; it is some hateful leftover piece of fear and doubt from the creature they'd just ended.

"Rose! My precious pink and yellow girl, you can't go—not now, not like this," he tells her desperately, willing her to hear him.

"But Doctor, it killed our baby," Rose says tonelessly. Frantically pulling himself together, the Doctor must make Rose understand.

"Yes, and it was trying to kill you too. And if you hadn't stopped it, it would have killed Jack and Donna, and Dr. Ella, me, and everyone else on the planet. And if it left the planet, who knows how many more it would have killed, maybe even Genny." That sends a spark of his Rose through her eyes.

Looking down at her hands she stares for a long minute at the fading, flickering light of the little moth that represents their son. "He was going to be so beautiful, Doctor."

Seeing the tears begin trailing down her cheeks, the Doctor hugs her to himself in relief for a moment before tilting her eyes up to his own tear-filled ones. "Yes, he would have been magnificent. But Rose Tyler, if this young soul is meant to be our son, we'll meet him again. For now, let's let him go. Do you remember when I thought the TARDIS was dead on Pete's world, but we found that one power crystal?"

Nodding, Rose is past speaking as tears course down her cheeks, and her throat clenches around the heaving sobs that she's trying to hold in. Cupping his hands around hers, the Doctor leans close, waiting for Rose. Understanding, she leans forward too, and reaching within herself, she pulls a little of the Bad Wolf forward. Along with the Doctor, she blows a shining bit of energy across the flickering moth. Flaring brightly, they both feel a featherlight touch brush across their thoughts, and then the light is gone—their hands empty.

Rose falls back into the Doctor's embrace bonelessly. Mutually they clutch each other, grieving for their loss. Not wanting to let her go either, but feeling the exhaustion of her physical trauma taking its toll on her, the Doctor holds her and soothes her, encouraging Rose to sleep. He knows once she lets go, she'll be in a healing coma for a few days.

Feeling the shift in her energy as she gives in to the exhaustion, the Doctor slips out of Rose's mind and into a room filled with the people that have been saving his wife. Shattering what reserve he has left, the Doctor comes a bit unglued.

"OUT! Everyone out!" he shouts, both hands gripping the railing next to Rose, his shoulders hunched and shaking.

Dr. Ella and Dr. Rilleen's staff all come to a screeching halt in their tasks. Looking to the doctors, they receive nods. They were already packing up the instruments and removing the extraneous machines anyway, so they undertake their tasks more quickly, clearing out the rest of the soiled sheets and any other visible signs of the ordeal they had just been through, not knowing they could do nothing to remove the scent of his wife's blood from the air.

Dr. Rilleen's carapace is a deep and shining blue. Whistling her sorrow to the Doctor, she bows slightly to him and takes her leave with the rest of the nurses from both teams. A mere couple of minutes after his outburst, only Jack, Donna, and Dr. Ella remain in the room.

Squeezing Jack's hands, Donna slips from his embrace and moves to stand next to the Doctor.

"Donna, please…" he chokes out, unable to finish the sentence. Donna grasps his hands and pries them from the railing. Unresisting, he lets her turn him toward her, and she wraps herself around him, hugging him tight, not saying a word. The Doctor stiffens for a second before he clasps Donna to him, sobs wracking his body now that it can respond to the pent up emotions that are raging through it. Jack joins them just as the Doctor's knees give out and Jack helps all three of them to the floor. Wrapped around the Doctor, Jack and Donna do their best to help their wounded friend in his grief, adding their own to the mix.

Dr. Ella leaves them once she's decided that Rose and the Doctor are energetically stable. Exiting the med-bay, she leans against the wall outside, suddenly overcome by her own inner turmoil. Sliding to the floor, Ella rests her head on her crossed arms, silently weeping for the lost young life—the small hope for a nearly extinct species. She did the best she could medically for them, but was it ever enough, when you as the physician are unable to save everyone? Emotionally, they will both be devastated, but they will survive; sometimes that has to be enough.


A/N: This was an extremely difficult chapter to write. It's never easy to hurt the characters that you have come to love and care for. But as Layla Crimson, Ashlanielle, and Veritascara (my incredibly helpful Beta for this segment) have told me; a good story requires conflict. I've actually had this planned the entire time in one form or another, but I surprised myself just now in tearing up again as I did a final re-read. I know you may not 'like' it, but I hope you continue to stay with me. There's more story to go. It'll be a bit before everything smoothes out, but it does get better. Thanks for sticking with me, and I hope to see you on Friday with To Everything There is a Season.

Reviews and thoughts are always welcome and further the inspiration. Many thanks to Mirrorflower and Darkwind and Akayuki Sawada for your continued support. Everyone of your reviews makes me smile. :-)