For notes, warnings and disclaimers see chapter 1.

Additional warning from the file labeled 'Duh!': Okay, just to be on the safe side, let me add that --while not exactly descriptive-- this chapter does deal with some disturbing issues but then again, if you are still with me, I'm going to assume that you have already figured out that rainbows and puppies are sorely missing from this particular story.


Chapter 29
(Lee's POV)

"So things got better after you agreed to share a bed with him?" I force myself to ask, almost choking on the words.

"Well, that was part of it, but yeah, after that I guess you could say it was 'better'. I mean, it was still bad, real bad, but he kind of backed off a little after that so in a way it wasn't anywhere near as bad as it had been before," she says, not meeting my eyes.

"Care to define 'bad' for us?" I hear Cottle ask.

"Bad. I mean, at first I could hardly take a frakking step without having Leoben take an interest in me... hell, if I'd had any doubts as to the fact that the bastard wasn't human before that those first few days would have been enough for me to..."

"And how long did that go on?" he interrupts her, obviously trying to keep things from stalling.

"About four or five days but it wasn't just the bed. After those first few days I just stopped fighting him and then he kind of lost interest but... I mean, it wasn't like he left me alone or anything like that but he went from frakking me half a dozen times a day to once or twice so it was sort of manageable," she explains, shrugging her shoulders.

"Being raped twice a day was 'manageable'?" I blurt out, not quite believing my ears.

"Well, it wasn't fun if that's what you are asking but... yes, it was better... most of the time," she growls, glaring at me.

"Most of the time?" asks Cottle.

"Yeah, even after that sometimes something would set him off --I don't know what-- and then he would take a greater interest in me for a few days but then that interest would wane again. That happened a couple of times. In a way it was all a game to him, I think."

"A game?" I ask, still trying to wrap my mind around that concept without much success.

"Yes, he was trying to..." she trails off.

"What was he trying to do?" I prod when it becomes apparent that she isn't going to say anything else.

"I don't know, not really. As crazy as it sounds I think he wanted me to love him... hell, he told me that much but..."

"He told you that?"

"Yes, but whenever he got me to do something it was never enough because he always wanted more."

"More?" I repeat, feeling like a broken record, the problem is that she is not making much sense, at least not considering that I am missing half the pieces to begin with and, no matter what I do, I just can't seem to fill in the blanks.

"Yes," she growls. "At first I tried to fight him but he just kept coming, he just kept hurting me and it didn't take me long to figure out that fighting him wasn't going to get me anywhere. Then I thought that maybe if I would just let him do whatever he wanted then he would leave me alone so I tried to ignore him, to ignore what he was doing to me, but even though that kind of worked, at the same time that still wasn't enough... hell, in a way he saw it as a frakking challenge. Sure, when I stopped fighting he went from frakking me half a dozen times a day to once or twice so things were a lot better in that regard but that also meant that he could take his time so each one of those encounters tended to last a lot longer and in that regard it was a trade off. Sometimes he would spend what felt like hours touching me, licking me, taunting me and --as long as we weren't in bed-- hurting me until he got a reaction out of me and there wasn't a damn thing I could do about any of it. The only thing I could do was to go back to trying to fight him but I already knew that that wasn't going to do me much good so I was stuck. He said he wanted to..." she trails off, again and the truth is that I don't know what to say about any of this.

"In other words, he went from wanting to get you to stop fighting him to trying to get a specific response out of you?" asks Cottle.

"I guess," she says, shrugging her shoulders. "He told me that he wanted to know how to make love to me... I wanted to crawl out of my skin whenever he touched me but he said..."

"It's okay, Kara, it's over. You are safe now," says my father.

"No, it's not... it's never going to be, don't you get it? I can't..." she replies, shaking her head.

"You can't what? Forget? No one expects you to," he tells her, reaching for her hand as she chews on her lower lip.

"It's not just that, it's..." she trails off, looking away.

"Hey, it's okay," he reassures her... or tries to. The problem is that for some reason that only seems to make matters worse. "What is it, Kara? Talk to me," he prods.

"I did what he wanted me to... in the end I just did what he wanted," she finally whispers.

"What he wanted?" he asks, looking rather perplexed at that.

"Yeah... I just... I just couldn't fight any more so I did what he wanted me to but it wasn't enough, no matter what I did it was never enough."

"Because whenever he got you to give in, whenever he got you to comply and do something, there was always something else he wanted you to do?" asks Cottle looking at her and she just nods at that.