So guys what I am talking about in this chapter hits really close to home to me so I hope you like it, and I'm sorry if it is a little depressing.

Chapter 29 – How to Save a Life

"Loren please look at me…"

Eddie squeezed her hand as Loren finally really looked at him.

"Eddie I'm broken…"

Eddie grabbed both sides of her face, "Loren you are perfect just the way you are, even if you are broken… Let me help you…"

Loren looked through him.

"Loren honey breakfast!"

Loren quickly finished making her bed before she rushed out to the kitchen, "Do I smell your famous chocolate chip pancakes?"

Nora turned to her daughter and smiled, "Absolutely! I figured you needed it before your big day!"

Loren rolled her eyes, "I don't think drowning myself in syrup will make the idea of singing in front of my class any better."

Nora laughed, "Oh honey! You are an amazing singer! I have so much faith in you! You could be huge one day! Eddie Duran huge in my book."

Loren held up her hand, "Whoa mom you just stepped over the line!"

Nora laughed and ran her fingers through her daughter's hair, "I'm sorry I forgot he was your idol nobody compares to him. Except that boy Cameron he is pretty cute."

Loren blushed, "Mom we went on one date!"

Nora smiled, "I know, I know! But it worked to get your mind off singing didn't it?"

Loren laughed, "I love you mom I got to get to school. If a die of a heart attack remember me!"

Nora laughed, "I love you too honey! Knock em' dead!"

"Eddie! You can't help me? Don't you understand? No one can help me… I'm broken beyond repair… How can you expect me to get married without my mom?! You don't get it!"

Eddie grasped her knotted hands tightly, "Then help me to…"

"Hey sweetheart! How did the singing go?"

Loren sighed, "Awful I choked and it took ten minutes to get me to stop hyperventilating and my teacher finally gave me a D for attempting…"

Nora walked over to the freezer, "I'm guessing this is needed?"

Loren looked up from the table and saw a huge carton of ice cream and smiled, "Two spoons?"

Nora smiled, "Two spoons!"

She pulled out two spoons handing one to Loren opening up the carton and taking a huge bite followed by Loren.

Nora sighed, "Loren don't let this get you down. You are so talented… You just need more time."

Loren nodded, "I know mom, and you have always been my biggest cheerleader."

Nora smiled and squeezed her hand, "And I always will be."

Loren looked up at her, "You will always be here for me right?"

Nora kissed her forehead, "I will be with you every step of the way. I am always on your side."

Loren choked, "She promised… She said she would be with me… Every step of the way… It's my fault she is dead…"

Eddie shook his head, "Loren no it's not your fault! Your mom was in a bad place…"

Loren took her hand away, "No you don't understand! She wanted me to stay up with her… I said no… I said no…"

Loren broke down sobbing; Eddie pulled her into his arms as she clutched his chest and continued to sob. He ran his hand down her hair repeatedly in comfort.

Loren had just gotten home from Mel's she had convinced her to film an audition tape for Eddie Duran's songwriting contest. She was mentally exhausted and just wanted to curl up in bed and let sleep consume her. As she walked in she saw Nora walk out of her room. She had a sad empty expression on her face.

"Loren! How did the tape go?"

Loren tried to smile, "Ok I'm beat though. I think I'm going to call it a night."

Nora bit her lip, "I don't know where your step dad is… He will probably turn up later."

Loren scowled, "I'd prefer he didn't."

Nora sighed, "Loren please don't do this…" Suddenly she beamed, "Do you want to stay up with me?! We can watch a bunch of old eighties movies like we used to?"

Loren shook her head, "Mom I'm just tired I want to go to bed."

Nora stood there ringing her hands; she seemed to be in another place entirely. Loren reached over squeezing her hands, "Mom you look exhausted maybe you should go to bed?"

Nora vaguely registered her comment, "Yeah sleep… Goodnight baby." She kissed Loren's forehead and walked into her bedroom closing the door behind her.

Loren woke up in a daze she looked at the clock… midnight. The house seemed eerily quiet. She quietly walked into her mom's bedroom to get into bed with her.

Loren flinched as she remembered the bloodcurdling scream that had erupted from her throat next. She squeezed her eyes shut as she began to cry harder in Eddie's arms.

"Ms. Tate I know this is a shock for you. But we need to know what happened."

Loren looked away from the officer down to her pale knotted fingers as she spoke even she noticed the lack of emotion there. "She looked lost… I thought she was just tired… I told her to go to bed…"

Loren winced at the scorching tears that threatened to poor down her face. The officer squeezed her shoulder in comfort but Loren pulled away not able to stand anyone's touch.

"Ms. Tate do you have a place to stay tonight?"

Loren nodded vaguely, "I'll be fine. Can I go now?"

The officer nodded, "Yes of course. Thank you for talking with us."

Loren stood up and walked out of the interrogation room. She saw Melissa jump up from a seat and hug her tightly, "I'm so sorry Lo…"

Loren pushed her away. Why was everyone trying to understand or saying they knew how she felt. Nobody knows how she feels! She had to get out she couldn't take it anymore.

Loren let out a shaky breath before pulling out of Eddie's arms.

"I'm sorry… I just miss her… And every time I think about her I just see that lost expression on her face… It was awful."

Eddie brushed the tears from her face, "Loren you said she told you she would be with you every step of the way and she is. Don't let this keep you from living your life! Don't push me away!"

Loren jumped a little as his voice raised in volume; she let her voice soften, "Eddie I'm giving you a choice… You can go. You don't have to stay with me."

Eddie grabbed both sides of her face, "What do I have to do to show you I am never going to leave?"

Loren finally softened and let herself smirk, "Marry me."

Eddie laughed, "Well you are making it very difficult for me to do that Ms. Tate."

Loren laughed, "I'm sorry I know I'm not easy…" Loren suddenly choked back a sob, "I just wish I could have know how to save her life…"

Eddie leaned over and kissed her forehead, "Loren I know… But you have to let it go… Nora your mom would want you to… She wanted you to be happy Loren."

Loren looked at him, "I am happy… But I need you to do something for me."

Eddie raised his eyebrows, "Anything."

Loren lifted her lips to his and Eddie kissed her softly.

"This song I was asked to sing by someone very close to me. And it means a lot to me. Hope you guys like it."

The band started playing as Eddie started to sing.

Step one, you say, We need to talk
He walks, you say, Sit down, it's just a talk
He smiles politely back at you
You stare politely right on through

Some sort of window to your right
As he goes left and you stay right
Between the lines of fear and blame
You begin to wonder why you came

Where did I go wrong? I lost a friend
Somewhere along in the bitterness
And I would have stayed up with you all night
Had I known how to save a life

Let him know that you know best
Cause after all, you do know best
Try to slip past his defense
Without granting innocence

Lay down a list of what is wrong
The things you've told him all along
And pray to God he hears you
And pray to God he hears you

And where did I go wrong? I lost a friend
Somewhere along in the bitterness
And I would have stayed up with you all night
Had I known how to save a life

As he begins to raise his voice
You lower yours and grant him one last choice
Drive until you lose the road
Or break with the ones you've followed

He will do one of two things
He will admit to everything
Or he'll say he's just not the same
And you'll begin to wonder why you came

Where did I go wrong? I lost a friend
Somewhere along in the bitterness
And I would have stayed up with you all night
Had I known how to save a life

Where did I go wrong? I lost a friend
Somewhere along in the bitterness
And I would have stayed up with you all night
Had I known how to save a life

How to save a life
How to save a life

Where did I go wrong? I lost a friend
Somewhere along in the bitterness
And I would have stayed up with you all night
Had I known how to save a life

Where did I go wrong? I lost a friend
Somewhere along in the bitterness
And I would have stayed up with you all night
Had I known how to save a life

How to save a life
How to save a life

How to Save a Life by The Fray