Hiya, it's Jess. Rachel and Brittany are getting really mad and depressed, and at the moment they're a total shit show, and it's awful to live with. They love and miss you so much, and I love you too. So I'm sorry, but stop being so fucking selfish. Rachel isn't going to visit you, I am instead. Delete.

Me again. That's it. Four weeks? It's ridiculous! I haven't even seen you in March! I will ring again tomorrow and if you don't answer, I'm getting the spare key back and just coming to find you. Delete.

It's Rachel. Santana this is getting ridiculous! Not only do we miss you but we know you're obviously not okay! Call me! Delete.

What up, it's Puckerman, where you been Lopez? Damn. Call a brother. Delete.

It's Rachel. Come ON, Santana! I know you're just screening our calls! Delete.

Hiya it's Jess. We appreciate the texts to tell us you're okay and everything, but the girls are getting worried. And Brittany's sad. And I don't like that. Just come see us, just for five minutes. Delete.

Hey it's Rachel, would you please come out of your hole to talk to us? Delete.

Hiya it's Jess. Well no answer at your door? Even though I'm pretty sure you were home. Sure you just didn't hear it or something. Call us, San. Delete.

Hey it's Rachel, please call me back. We miss you! Delete.

Santana it's Brittany. It's been three weeks and we miss you. You have to talk to us sometime. Call me, or even just text us and let us know you're alive? Delete.

Hiya it's Jess. I'm coming to see you tonight, seeing as you didn't come to karaoke. See you, love! Delete.

Hey it's Rach, are you coming to the bar tonight? Hope so! Delete.

San it's Brittany! We're going to karaoke tonight, I hope you're coming! Miss you lots! Delete.

Hiya it's Jess. Thought I'd drop you a line seeing as we've not heard from you in a couple of weeks, call soon! We miss you! Delete.

Hey it's Rach, do you wanna do something this weekend? Delete.

San it's Britts! Do you want to come to the movies with us all tomorrow? Love you. Delete.

What up, it's Puckerman. Not seen you since last week, was wondering how you are. Delete.

Hey it's Rach, I know I already called but I was wondering if you were okay? I know you said you are, but I haven't seen you since...Valentine's Day. Just give me a call, love you! Delete.

San it's Britts, are you okay? Haven't spoken to you since the other night, and I don't want you to be sad or anything. Love you lots! Call me. Delete.

Hey it's Rach, how are you? Thinking of going to the bar tomorrow, if you want to get drinks? Or we can go somewhere else? Love you, call me! Delete.

What up it's Puckerman. Why did everyone leave yesterday? No one said bye I just saw Sam storm out after you left? Delete.

-ooOoo-

Quinn swung the door open, her head bobbing slightly as the music blared in her ears. Something always brings me back to you, it never takes too long. No matter what I say or do, I still feel you here til the moment I'm gone. You hold me without touch, you keep me without chains. I've never wanted anything so much, than to drown in your love, and not feel your rain. Set me free, leave me be. I don't want to fall another moment into your gravity.

She sighed. Oh, Sara Bareilles, how accurate you are. She pulled the earphones out, letting them dangle around her neck as she slid her coat up and hung it on the hook. She stopped for a moment on the doorstep, subconsciously holding in a breath as she listened intently. The apartment was silent. She swallowed before continuing inside, immediately crossing to the kitchen for a cup of tea. Quinn's apartment was almost exactly the same as it had been four weeks ago, aside from one picture frame, and a stack of clothes, books and films that now sat on the top shelf of her closet, out of sight and out of mind.

The intercom on the wall buzzed, and she grinned as she crossed to the door, buzzing the entry and opening the door as she waited for her arrivals. Jess, Brittany and Rachel appeared from the elevator, all grinning madly as she greeted them and they followed her into the apartment.

"So what are you cooking?" Brittany smiled "Smells good"

"I am making beef stroganoff" she smiled back as the girls made themselves comfortable in the living room while Brittany perched on a chair to watch her "And Rachel is having tofu stroganoff with all dairy-substitutes"

"Thank you!" the girl grinned from the armchair "So update us! Feels like I haven't seen you in years!" she giggled and Jess frowned

"You saw her three days ago!" she protested and Quinn rolled her eyes

"Well, many people have said that not seeing me for a day feels a lot longer" she boasted "People just fall apart without me" she smiled sweetly with a shrug, and Brittany snorted

"Between you and Rachel, I'm not sure who's more modest" she remarked and the brunette pouted.

"Anyway" she carried on pointedly "How are things?"

"How are you feeling?" Brittany chipped in

"Not so bad, really." She shrugged again "Truthfully, I don't know. Some days I feel like just not getting out of bed." The girls nodded their understanding, staring thoughtfully as they reminisced for a moment "But then other days, like today, I feel fine. Not exactly good, but okay. And right now okay is enough." She nodded and the girls looked impressed

"Well, at least you're feeling better more?" Jess shrugged with a smile as she kneeled on the couch, resting her chin on the back to face the kitchen

"More. Not always. There's still moments. Like in the store yesterday, a song started playing and I nearly cried in the dessert aisle. But then today I've barely thought about it, and I feel good."

"Well that's okay" Rachel raised her eyebrows encouragingly "You're allowed to have crappy days."

"It makes the good days twice as good" Brittany smiled gently, and she nodded

"Yeah. And I have all of you guys to help!" she grinned and they all blushed, smiling shyly. There was a moment of silence before Quinn took a large breath "So...we all know I'm going to ask. Still no word?"

They shook their head wordlessly and she nodded slowly. She turned back to her cooking, and the matter was considered closed as they all directed their attention away, making irrelevant remarks and small talk until it was time to eat.

-ooOoo-

"Hold on, I'll catch up!" Jess grinned, squeezing the tall blonde's hand as they descended the stairs before taking a few paces back to the blonde at the door "Hey. I wanted to...I mean, I'm just...I'm proud of you. For moving on so well and everything" she shrugged and Quinn smiled with a nod

"Well, I probably couldn't have done it without you. But, I'm not falling apart. Not anymore" she added with a guilty expression, "Thank you."

Jess pulled her in for a hug before turning to go, but Quinn placed a hand on her arm

"Oh! One more thing. If you do see her soon, could you maybe get my stuff back? And..." she gulped hard, "And give her this" she blinked rapidly as she reached into her back and pulled a key off her loop, placing it in Jess' palm "And, maybe ask if she wants her stuff too?" she gave a small smile, and Jess nodded silently before smiling and turning to go.

Quinn let the door close with a soft click, staring down at her loop of keys. She took a deep breath and changed for bed, sliding under the cool covers with a sigh. Turning onto her back, she stared up at the dark ceiling with a small frown. She swallowed, and closed her eyes, before snapping them open again seconds later as flashbacks and memories flooded her mind once again. Like every night. She rolled over, staring at the empty pillow beside her, biting her lip as she thought of its last occupant.

She sighed heavily and sat up, frowning as she dropped her head into her hands. Like every night for four weeks. She swung her legs around off the edge of her bed, wriggling her toes against the cold floor beneath her feet. She grabbed her pillow, and the thick comforter from the end of the bed, dragging them behind her as she left the room. Like she had every night. She threw the pillow onto the arm of the sofa, flicking the blanket across the cushions and settling herself in to the makeshift bed. Like every night.

As she lay in the darkness, she felt the familiar lump form in her throat, the stinging sensation behind her eyes, and the tightness in her chest, and reached over to grab the tissue box from the coffee table.

Like every night.

-ooOoo-

Santana pulled off her coat as she returned to the apartment from work, and sighed as she gazed around the apartment. It was filthy once again. She really needed to clean up all the take-out cartons and food wrappers. Wash the empty glasses and crockery scattered across all surfaces. Pick up the dirty clothes lying everywhere. Cook again, instead of ordering take-out every day. Stop playing so much xbox. Sleep more.

She felt her heart rate increase slowly. The slow pounding's rhythm got quicker, but her breathing remained calm, her face a perfect mask of serenity. She took a long, drawn-out breath, feeling her lungs inflate and her chest rise, holding it in and swallowing before the air in her chest became too much to hold, the breath became a stinging, and she exhaled again, her shoulders dropping in defeat.

She leaned back against the hard cold wood behind her, sliding down onto the floor and pulling her legs up to her chest. She had done the same thing almost daily for four weeks, gazing out at an apartment that gradually got dirtier and less cared-for as the nights slowly got lighter. She gradually sat there for less time each day as time wore on. In the first week she would sit for hours, until the hard floor underneath her became an uncomfortable aggravation, and then a mere irritation, until she couldn't feel it at all. She only crawled to her feet when the empty sensation morphed into one of hunger, and then starvation.

Aside from the mess, nothing much had changed in the apartment. The fridge door was now empty, the pieces of paper carefully and methodically in a small box in the bottom drawer, along with another girl's clothes. The out-of-date smoothie carton still sat in the fridge, and the half-empty Heroes box still sat on the top shelf of the cupboard. Outrageous Fortunes and series six of Friends still lay scattered below the TV in the bedroom, slowly gathering dust. Group photos were still stuck to the dressing table mirror, while other pictures, those with much fewer occupants, had gone in the box in the bottom drawer along with the notes.

She listened to the words being sung in her ears. She had listened to the same playlist for four weeks. Days are passing by and all the leaves are changing too. But time won't change the things unsaid. Coz everything is different now, I'd really like to tell you how. How I, I wanted you here by side. I know what I said but I lied. It looked like I laughed, but I cried. She climbed to her feet, only minutes after she had sat down, pulling the earphones out and turning her iPod off.

She crossed to the bedroom to change out of her work clothes and into sweatpants and a t-shirt. She settled herself in front of the TV, deleting the newest four messages from her phone, not even listening to them anymore, and flicked the xbox on. An hour later she called and delivered pizza, eating it on the couch in front of the TV and discarding the box on the floor. She sighed as there was a knock at the door, barely reacting. She didn't get up, she didn't shout an excuse, she didn't even look up.

"Fine then! I'm coming in! You'd better not be naked."

Her jaw tensed, and she gazed around thoughtfully as she heard a key slide into the lock. Maybe she should jump up and attempt to tidy everything? Maybe she should open the door with a smile and excuse the mess. Maybe she shout turn the light on, to at least attempt to look like a functioning human being. Maybe she should shout to the familiar voice to let her change first. Maybe she should look welcoming.

"You look like shit."

She didn't move. She completely ignored the girl who was now crossing to the living room with a wary grimace.

"Santana. Pause the game before I turn it off and you can't save. Don't test me." Her hand hovered over the button and Santana saved the game, continuing to play.

"Fine then."

Jess switched the console off, but Santana remained staring at the black screen, dropping the controller to her side. The other girl stood and made her way over to the couch, clearing a space beside Santana and sinking back into the couch beside her. Santana didn't look at her.

"Quinn told us what happened." Santana didn't react, sitting motionless as her stomach turned over at the familiar name, and she felt her throat constrict. "Well, first she told us what happened, about how she screamed at you and then walked away. Then she told me what actually happened." Santana nodded, her lips still firmly pressed together, and Jess sighed.

"I know you don't want to talk about it. So...she gave me your key, and she wants her stuff. But I'd like it if you'd talk to me. I get that sometimes it's hard to admit things to your friends and stuff. So I thought it might be easier to talk to me than Rachel or Brittany" she shrugged, but Santana only nodded again.

"But if you don't want to talk I'll just get her stuff." Santana stood from the couch, walking wordlessly to the bedroom, returning a few moments later with a stack of clothes, a cookery book, two CDs and four DVDs. She placed them on Jess' lap and sat back down beside her, and Jess nodded gratefully.

"Do you want any of your stuff that she might have?" Santana shook her head "Okay then." She stood up, crossing to the door before turning back, her hand resting on the handle. "I really hope you'll talk to us again soon. The others don't know I'm here, or they would want to come and I knew you wouldn't want to see them. But they really miss you. I don't think you realise how much. And I think you're being selfish. I understand that you want to work through stuff on your own, and don't want people interfering. But now you're just blocking them out, and they're suffering because of it. Because you're just being stubborn. You can work through your problems alone and still have friends, Santana. Just don't let it become too late."

Jess shrugged and turned her back; pulling the door open but a croak from the sofa stopped her.

"Wait."

"Okay." She sighed and closed the door, placing the pile of stuff on the floor and crossing back to sit beside the brunette again "Are you going to talk?" There was no reply, but Santana gave a small, thoughtful frown, and Jess nodded "Okay. Well, whenever you want." She reached over and flicked the TV on, settling on Friends, but the Latina reached over and changed the channel almost immediately.

They sat in silence for a while until Santana cleared her throat quietly "We're not going to talk about..."

"Her?" Santana nodded and Jess gave a kind smile "Okay."

"I feel like shit." Jess nodded sympathetically "There's just this feeling. Everywhere I go. It just sits, like, here." She dug her fingernails into her chest as she spoke, still not looking at the girl beside her, but staring blankly ahead. She pressed a little harder before dropping her hand into her lap again with a sigh, and Jess nodded again "And it doesn't go away." She shook her head sadly and Jess bit her lip

"Do you want to watch a sad film and cry all over me? I'll let you" she gave a small laugh but Santana just smiled politely, a smile that barely moved her features.

"I'm all cried out, actually."

She wasn't. Truthfully, she hadn't cried since Valentine's Day. Every day she came home and slumped down on the welcome mat. Every day she thought she would burst from all of the emotions surging up from her stomach into her chest, pounding at her organs and pushing at her skin, begging to be let out. Every day her eyes stayed dry, and she swallowed the feelings back into her stomach to let them fester for another day, before climbing to her feet once again to continue her routine.

Jess watched Santana in silence. She could see the thoughts spinning around behind the girl's blank expression and took a deep breath, hoping to crash down the wall that was stopping Santana from communicating. She knew she was taking a risk, but was hoping Santana would set her ego aside for a moment,

"I know about Lily."

"Get out."