Birds Flying the Nest

The next week and a half saw changes Charlie had not envisioned. In some ways it made things cleaner and less dangerous for his "family"; but in other ways he felt his little cloistered family of cobbled together broken souls was fracturing. He recognized it as 'attachment' – a condition Buddhism held he should reject, but it didn't stop the twinge of emotional pain he felt at the loss. It began benignly enough one morning as he returned to the house after a run for "decent coffee", as Dani described her addiction to blended coffee drinks.

He found an orange moving van parked in front of the garage.

He quickly dropped Dani's coffee with her inquiring; her shoulder shrug told him not to inquire further. She was cranky in the mornings generally, but it seemed their daughter was determined to be a 'damned morning person like her father' or so his wife would grumble when words could be coaxed from her in the early hours of the day. After he'd taken his leave from the Department to be with her, a pattern had emerged that blurred one day into the next. It consisted of him rising around 5AM to steal away to the stone porch and engage in much needed seated meditation before the breaking dawn. It was his time, but the baby became restless in the predawn hours forcing Dani to reluctantly rise. Although she was as quiet as a mouse, she had the uncanny ability to draw him away from internal reflection with nothing more than a pointed stare from the kitchen window. She often spoke only one word to him after a quick kiss, a demand for coffee. So he left sweaty and in just a t-shirt and sweats to race down the canyon to bring back some exotic rich morning coffee flavored with his choice of syrups. He saved showering for later when her demands were met and sometimes those extended beyond coffee.

Lately he'd been able to coax her into sitting with him in the stillness of the morning, just holding his hand and listening to their breathing synchronize. It was as close to Zen as Dani would let herself become. Invariably, the canyon woke, birds sang, cars started, the sun rose and Chester became anxious for a walk. Charlie had extra energy so those walks had become runs lately. Their afternoon was lunch and reading, then some errands, a nap for Dani and dinner and maybe a movie if she could stay awake. It was something he could get used to.

Dani never got on his nerves because she always possessed the capacity for reticence. When they'd first met Charlie misinterpreted this uncommunicativeness for dislike, and while there may have been a good measure of that too – most of what made Reese reserved was the capacity for introspection. She was often harder on her herself than anyone else was on her. He therefore devoted time each day to trying to surprise her with things that communicated her importance to him. It was something he spent a lot time and energy on. It could be as simple as painting her toenails while she napped or as extravagant as renting an old-fashioned movie projector and showing Casablanca on a big white wall, accompanied by freshly popped corn on breezy evenings. He had no idea if he still got on her nerves because she'd ceased complaining about the things he did and just accepted them – accepted him. She was closer to Buddhism some days than he was. But either way he had about as much a chance of getting an answer from her in the mornings as he had a statute of the Buddha himself. So he left to inquire on his own and enjoy her coffee in peace.

"Ted?" He quested for his friend amongst a sea of boxes and two very efficient and speedy movers. "Are you breaking up with me?" He teased when the salt and pepper grey head of his friend emerged from a closet.

"Charlie, I'm moving," Ted stammered stating the obvious.

"Ted I'm a detective. Kinda figured that out from the van and the boxes," his sarcasm sounding more and more like his wife's every day. "Can we talk about this?"

"Charlie," Ted patiently explained. "I appreciate what you did for me, but we both knew this was temporary. Just until I got back on my feet… And teaching? Teaching is working out surprisingly well for me. I got good word of mouth from the students and picked up more classes this semester. Frankly I know I'm getting under foot and... to be perfectly honest, living above a woodshop isn't the best for my concentration."

"You could have said something," Charlie offered.

"It's time, Charlie." Ted stared at him and Charlie nodded. They both knew it. Their lives and interests were diverging. It was bound to happen. Charlie and Dani were about to open a new chapter in their lives, one uniquely theirs and Ted needed to find his place in the world outside prison.

"You're still going to manage the money things," Charlie asked, "right?"

"You can't balance your checkbook…so, yes." Ted laughed.

"I really can't," Charlie admitted. "I have no head for money and Dani wants to forget that we have so much," he admitted sheepishly his wife's discomfort with their financial situation. She'd rather forget she'd married a man with millions in settlement money, although she'd never forget the scars he'd received earning it.

"Look Charlie," Ted approached and directly engaged his dearest and most true friend. "We will always be friends…more than friends. After all we've been through, I finally understand some of that Zen of yours. I'm not letting my past screw up my future. I got a chance here for a new start and I'm taking it."

"Good for you, Ted." Charlie said and shook his friend's hand warmly. "Really good for you." He then stared wistfully out the window at his own home feeling a pang of longing for a woman he'd left only moments before.

"Go home, Charlie. Live your life. Be happy." Ted coached. "She's good for you. She keeps you on the straight and narrow. I never would have believed it when I first met her. And you're good for her too. At some point, someone convinced her that she wasn't worth much and you? You see that she is and you make her see it too. It's really pretty neat watching you two. You're two halves of a whole, you know?"

Charlie smiled a soft, true smile, "Yeah Ted, I know." He paused a moment and asked an important question. "Are you happy Ted?"

"I think I'm gonna be Charlie. For the first time in a long time, I think I'm gonna be. And for right now, I'm just glad Jack Reese's not gonna put either of us back in prison," Ted joked.

"Or the morgue," Charlie joked darkly. Ted's laugh was less sure.

"Look he isn't happy about it, but I think those days are in the past. He's a bit more excited about the baby than he wants to let on. Roya says he has bought more stuff for her than we have. And that's hard to believe from the look of the nursery." His gaze again flicked to the house and there was a long uncomfortable silence. "I'm just gonna get back there. Let me know if you need anything and come for dinner on Friday?"

"Friday's tacos right?" Ted confirmed. Charlie nodded. "Wouldn't miss it," Ted grinned and returned to packing.


"Hey, did you know Ted was moving out?" Charlie inquired.

Dani looked up from her coffee and answered him with her patented eye roll and deep sigh. She didn't have to say a word, annoyance clearly in her features. Dani was nearly mute mornings and if words could be coaxed she limited herself to only those absolutely necessary. Mono-syllabic responses were common.

He shyly kissed her head and rubbed her back, "Sorry I forgot mama bear doesn't talk until after 10AM," he said in a low guarded tone.

She simply glared at him over the plastic rim of her coffee cup.

"Maybe I've been reading one too many children's books," he offered in simple apology.

He had in fact amassed a previously unrecalled amount of information about bears, porridge, straw houses, wolves, little girls cloaked in red, frog princes and other assorted tales he'd poured over in preparation for the baby's arrival. He'd read them as diligently as she had the Lieutenant's Exam Study Guide the year prior, which now seemed a lifetime ago. He explained that he wanted to know the stories not simply read them. And to Dani that made sense because it was quintessential Charlie. Occasionally, she'd find him practicing with Chester in the garage or kitchen. The dog seemed to listen intently to nonsensical nursery rhymes and woof at appropriate intervals, leaving her to conclude they were both nuts, but she loved them all the more for their eccentricities.

She considered him over her coffee and thought about her recent conversation with Rachel. He would not take the news well - that the young girl was considering moving in with her college boyfriend, Gabriel. He treated her well and Rachel like Dani had a tendency to gravitate toward men who did not treat them with deference or tenderness. It was a psychological foible they shared and while neither could explain it - they both recognized it. It was why Rachel had chosen to consult Dani with the issue instead of her notional and over protective 'Uncle Charlie' who she knew would simply say "no." Charlie steadfastly believed she was safer with him than anywhere else or with anyone else. Rachel knew he would be wounded by her choice, but Dani accepted Rachel was choosing a better life and future than she ever had before.

Gabriel was graduating the following summer and had a job interning with a construction firm where he drafted plans for new buildings. He spent his weekends crafting new sculptures - instead of at frat parties like other young men his age. He was sweet, despite the image projected by his many tattoos and piercings and the rebuilt Indian motorcycle he rode. Rachel shyly admitted he had a poet's soul and reminded her of Charlie who was tough on the outside, but underneath gentle and loving with those in his inner circle.

Charlie even liked Gabriel, but he would not like the idea of Rachel living with the young man; even though he was not naïve enough to believe their relationship was platonic. But both Rachel and Dani knew Charlie's solution would be for Gabriel to live in the mansion. For many reasons, Rachel knew they need to strike out on their own, but among those was the fact that the Crews family was forming and Rachel did not want to impinge on the fresh new start about to occur.

Dani eyed Crews and he could see her brain working. He knew that some thing or more correctly several things were always going on behind her dark eyes. She remained reticent and thoughtful, but he was wound up and needed release.

"I'm gonna take Chester for a run," he pronounced too loudly for the quiet house.

Chester did not understand everything his people said, but he did know his name and the words "walk, run and ride." They were his favorite words and he rose rapidly with his tail swinging wildly taking his back half with it. It was what Charlie described as "full body tail wagging." He trotted to the kitchen and returned with his leash in his mouth. When Charlie took it from him, Chester leapt in excited circles making it harder to get the leash on him than necessary. His exuberance was hard to contain. They were evenly matched the man and the dog, both full of potential energy.

Dani watched her boys and smiled softly, but said nothing. She continued to sip her coffee and waved a goodbye. This was going to be a long week. First Ted leaving and soon Rachel, so she waited knowing the time would present itself to have this talk, but it was not now.


About a week later, Dani decided it was time to tell Charlie about Rachel's intent. He was tinkering in the garage, considering another project but feeling it was a bit too soon to start on the dollhouse. He was muttering to himself and talking to Chester in sections of the internal conversation when he whirled to make a point and found his wife leaning in the doorway amused.

"Okay," he admitted, "so I talk to the dog. You talk to the dog." She smiled but said nothing. Charlie fell victim to his own 'people like to fill a void' philosophy and stumbled over his fears. "Ted's gone, Rachel's leaving and while our family is growing - it's also shrinking."

"Change is part of life," Dani mocked him with Zen because she liked to. "And just how did you know Rachel was leaving?" She sounded surprised.

He rolled his eyes and sighed heavily. He was either mimicking her just to annoy her or it was symptomatic of the eventual merging of their distinct personalities. They had been together for nearly four years now and their distinct behaviors long since blended, but it still shocked her when she saw Charlie mimic her dramatics.

"She's been slowly siphoning her belongings out the door for the past two weeks," he explained patiently. "It's Gabriel right?"

"Yes, it's Gabriel. She's in love with him and he's good for her. He's a good boy, Charlie, even you like him," she defended.

"He could live here," he offered just as she knew he would.

"Uh, no," she interjected. "She's nineteen, Charlie. He's twenty-something – they need space. He's stable, he works; he's a good student and a good boyfriend. Just don't make a thing out of this or she'll run away from you…." She explained his options and their consequences.

"How do you know?"

"It's what I would do…or rather what teenage me would have done," she suggested.

"But you and Rachel…" he began.

"...are more alike than you think." she finished for him, bringing full circle the observation that she'd touched on earlier. She'd just completed his sentence like he did for her on many an occasion. She closed her eyes and thought about the merger of their souls, hearts and now behaviors. They were now one.

"What?" he wondered at her closed eyes and her peaceful expression.

"Do you realize that you just did something I used to do? Rolling your eyes. And that I just did something you used to? Finishing my sentences. We are virtually indistinguishable as people. We are like one person now." She paused before asking if he shared her fears. "Doesn't that scare you?" she inquired lightly.

"Nope," he popped back. "Not in the least," he smiled knowingly, "it is…as it should be. We are one." Then he considered and sought her feeling on the matter, "does it scare you?"

"It should. I thought it would… It's kinda freaky and yet, kinda comforting," she experimented with her still forming opinion. "I've never been this close to anyone before. Do you wonder if who we are will get lost in who we are together?"

"I think who we are together… is better, stronger… than who we are alone," he suggested. "I find it kinda neat. If I were to get lost…I'd want it to be in you, with you." The thought and the way he expressed it made her warm inside.