Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.

Chapter 28: Honesty and Anger

Bella sighed as she leaned her head against the smooth plastic of her chair. For the hundredth time, she looked at her boarding pass and then checked her watch. It was strictly a nervous habit, she knew what time her flight left, and because of her obsessive checking, she knew exactly what time it was.

Her phone rang and her hand shook as she answered it. She had known this phone call was coming, but she had hoped that it would come later when she had put some distance between them. But she should have known Edward would call immediately.

The conversation was as painful as she had feared it would be. He offered to come and get her. It was all she could do to tell him no. She tried to explain her reasons for leaving but she knew he didn't understand. She could hear the pain in his voice, and it nearly brought her to her knees. How could doing what she knew to be the right thing cause him so much pain? Then his pain turned to anger when she tried to tell him that she was doing it for him. She just didn't seem to have the words to make him understand.

As she boarded the plane, her heart and her feet felt heavy. She propelled herself toward the jetway by sheer will. She took one last look back at the waiting area before she slipped through the doorway and down the ramp. Part of her heart ached at the fact that she didn't see Edward. She would be lying to herself if she didn't admit that at least a part of her wanted to see him running to the gate, breathless as he called her name and swept her into his arms, refusing to allow her to leave. But the more logical part of her realized that this wouldn't work. She had to go, and his presence there would only make the decision she had already made more difficult.

The plane was only about half full, and she was able to get a window seat with a row all to herself. As the plane rose into the air, she looked out over the nighttime landscape of Chicago. Her eyes scanned the building tops, and she realized she was unconsciously trying to locate the shiny chrome and glass building that would have been her home with Edward. With this realization came the hot, heavy tears that she'd been trying to hold at bay. Keeping her seat belt on, she curled her legs up and tucked her knees under her chin, watching as the city that was almost hers grew smaller and smaller until it disappeared completely beneath her.

At some point she must have dozed off, because the next thing she heard was the sound of the pilot announcing their arrival in Phoenix. As soon as it was authorized, Bella switched on her cell phone. In spite of herself, her heart sunk a little when she saw that she had no missed calls. She dialed Rosalie's number.

"Bella!" Rosalie squealed when she answered. "I thought you would have called before now. You must have gotten in hours ago!"

"Hi Rose. Um, actually, things have changed. Can you come get me?"

There was a long pause on the other end of the line. "Where are you, Bella?" Rosalie finally asked.

"At the airport. In Phoenix."

"Oh, Bella. What happened?" Rosalie's voice was filled with the sadness that Bella had been trying to ward off, and her eyes filled up with tears again.

"I know, Rose. I'll explain everything when you get here. My flight just landed."

Wonderful, dependable Rosalie agreed to pick her up, and the two hung up.

As Bella exited the plane and moved through the airport, she thought about how different her mood and circumstances were than they had been the last time that she'd been in this airport. Had it really only been that morning? It didn't seem possible. Her entire life had changed in just a few hours.

Bella was waiting on the curb when Rosalie pulled up. She stubbed out her cigarette and climbed into the car, ignoring her sister's furrowed brow and inquiring look. Bella sighed and laid her head back against the seat as Rose pulled away from the curb and headed back to her house.

The car was silent for a while until Rosalie couldn't take it anymore.

"What happened, Bella?" she asked quietly.

Bella closed her eyes and took a deep breath. Then she told her sister the whole story. She told her about how wonderful everything had been when Edward had picked her up. She described how perfect their apartment was, and how happy she felt there. Then she told her about Tanya's visit. Her eyes filled with tears as she described how she'd felt when Tanya had pleaded with her not to make Edward choose between her and their baby.

By the time she was finished, they had arrived at Rose's house. Rosalie hadn't said a word while Bella spoke. She put the car in park and shut off the engine before taking a deep breath and placing her hands on the steering wheel. After a moment, she turned to Bella. She opened and shut her mouth several times as if trying to determine exactly what she wanted to say.

Bella furrowed her brow and waited. Finally, Rosalie found her voice.

"Bella, I can't believe you."

"What do you mean?" Bella asked, raising one eyebrow.

Rosalie shook her head. "I can't believe you just left."

Bella felt her hackles rising. "What the hell was I supposed to do, Rose?" She practically shouted in the small confines of the car.

Rosalie's voice matched Bella's. "You should have stayed there and fought for your man!"

"What do you mean fought for him? He's having a baby with her. I can't compete with that." Bella asked.

Rosalie raised her eyebrows. "So it's not about sparing Edward from choosing then, is it?"

It was Bella's turn to open her mouth in mute surprise. After a moment, she sighed. "I don't know what else I could have done." Her voice was sad, and she sank back down in her seat, dropping her eyes to the floor.

Rosalie reached out and stroked Bella's hair. "Oh, sis. There's so much more you could have done. Do you love him?"

Bella's head snapped up. "Of course I do! How could you even ask that?"

"Because if you did, you would have stayed," Rosalie said simply.

Bella felt the sting of Rosalie's words. Her head was spinning. She had expected nothing but support from her older sister.

Rosalie sighed and turned to look at her sister again. "Bella, I'm not sure how to say this to you, and I know it's going to hurt. But I think you really need to hear it." She paused, obviously waiting for a response from Bella.

Bella sighed and nodded. "Go ahead. Say what you need to say." She tucked her knees beneath her chin as she had on the plane and silently wished for a cigarette, knowing that was out of the question. Rosalie barely tolerated Bella smoking in her presence, let alone inside her car.

Even after Bella acquiesced to hear what Rosalie had to say, it was still several moments before the older sister spoke. Finally, she sighed again and began. "You've never fought hard for anything your whole life. Things have always come pretty easily for you, and you've never had to. But you've never seemed particularly happy either. You've sort of just always...gotten by." She paused to glance almost apologetically at Bella. When Bella made no attempt to argue, she continued. "I mean, take James for example. Anyone who spent even a minute with you two could tell that you weren't happy. I don't know if he necessarily mistreated you, but everybody knew you could do much better. But you stayed with him for so long. I mean, why?" She paused and shook her head, and Bella could tell she was growing frustrated with the subject of James. Still, Bella remained silent. Rosalie hadn't really said anything that Bella herself didn't know.

After a moment, Rosalie continued, her voice softer now. "But then, you met Edward. Whether you realize it or not, he was the catalyst that you needed to propel you forward and get you to see James wasn't good for you. When you met him I saw such a change in you. It was like he made you a better version of yourself. Does that make sense?"

Bella nodded. Although she hadn't thought about it in quite that way, it made sense. Edward made her happier than she'd ever been.

"You left James, and even though you weren't with Edward, you made changes for yourself that improved your life. At the time, I wasn't aware that it was Edward's influence that was responsible for these changes, but now I can see that it was him all along. And I didn't know Edward before he met you, but I'd be willing to bet that you had the same positive influence on him, would you agree?"

Bella thought for a moment. "Yes, I think so." She let out a deep sigh and scrubbed her hand over her face in frustration. "Okay. Great. Everything you say is true. So what?" Bella cried, throwing her hands up in the air. "What am I supposed to do about it now? He's having a baby with her. I can't interfere with that!"

"Who says you have to?" Rosalie shot back immediately. "Do you realize how many people in the world have children with people they are not romantically involved with? It happens. You're not the first, and you sure as hell won't be the last!"

The passion in Rosalie's voice surprised Bella. "So," she asked tentatively, a pit of dread building in her stomach. "You think I made a mistake?"

Rosalie smiled a sad smile. "Yes, my dear. I think you made a huge mistake. I don't know Tanya, but I know James, and I have a feeling manipulation runs in their family."

Tears filled Bella's eyes as her sister's words continued to sink in. "I really thought I was leaving for him, Rose."

Rosalie opened her arms and the two sisters entered an awkward embrace in the confines of the car. "I know you did, honey. I know you did." She stroked Bella's hair as Bella stained her shirt with the tears that would no longer be contained.

"What do I do? I've messed everything up now."

Rosalie sighed. "I don't have an answer for you. I wish I did. Have you talked to him?"

Bella nodded into Rosalie's shoulder. "He begged me not to go, but I left anyway."

Rosalie sighed and patted Bella's shoulder. "Come on. There's no use sitting in the car crying about it all night."

Bella smiled through her tears. Her sister was nothing if not practical. The two headed inside. Emmett was already asleep, and the two agreed to continue their conversation in the morning.

As Bella made her way silently to the guest room, her heart and her head ached. Fully clothed, she made her way to the bed and slipped between the sheets without even turning on a light. Her limbs felt as heavy as her heart, and she was suddenly overcome by exhaustion.

However, as she lay in the cool, dark room, sleep did not immediately overtake her as she had hoped it would. Instead, Rosalie's words ran on an endless loop through her mind. Was it possible that her sister was right? Her sister knew her better than anyone else in the world. When she had left Chicago she had been so sure of her choice. As much as her heart had broken, she had been positive that she was doing the right thing for Edward. Now, as she replayed her conversation with Rose in her head again and again, her mind was flooded with doubt.

The darkness outside her window had already begun to fade into the pale light of early morning before Bella finally fell into a fitful sleep. As she drifted in and out of consciousness, she came to a disturbing realization: she should never have left Chicago. She had been immature and impetuous. Not surprisingly, this realization did not bring her the comfort or the relief she sought. Instead, as the sky outside turned from gray to pink, and finally a brilliant fiery orange, Bella rose from her bed.

Once fully awake she wasn't sure what to do next. Her hands itched to dial Edward's number, but her own self doubt stopped her. Hadn't he begged her to stay? Hadn't she insulted him with her self righteous claims of leaving him for his own good? How could she call him now and admit that she had seen the error in her thinking? She couldn't.

Instead, she decided to take a hot shower. She stripped off her clothing and climbed under the hot spray. The warm rivulets of water ran down her body and began to relax her muscles. The shower reminded her of the last shower she'd taken back in Chicago; the one in the new bathroom she would have shared with Edward. Things had been so perfect. How could they have gone so wrong so quickly? How had she let that happen? What could she do about it now?

The questions swirled around her as endlessly as the steam from the shower, and by the time she had wrapped herself in her bathrobe and made her way to the kitchen, she still had no answers.

Emmett was sitting at the kitchen table, eyes trained on the laptop in front of him, a mug of coffee in his hand. As Bella entered the room, he glanced up at her. If he was surprised to see her, he gave no indication of it. Bella figured Rosalie must have filled him in on Bella's sudden reappearance.

"Hey, sis," he said simply.

"Hi, Emmett," Bella replied quietly as she poured herself a bowl of cereal and took a seat across from him at the table.

After a few more moments of silence, Bella sighed and said, "So, aren't you going to let me have it? Tell me how stupid I was for leaving him? Tell me how I should have just sucked it up and stayed?"

Emmett looked up from his computer again. His face was impassive as he regarded Bella silently for a few moments. Finally he asked, "Is that what Rosalie told you?"

Bella nodded.

He shrugged. "Well, it sounds like she already covered everything, so I don't think you need to hear it all again from me."

Bella rolled her eyes but silently appreciated Emmett's unwillingness to rehash what she clearly already realized.

The pair lapsed into silence again. The only sound for several minutes was the quiet clicking of Emmett's mouse and the occasional scraping of Bella's spoon against the side of her cereal bowl.

"So what do I do now, Em?" Bella asked after a moment, her eyes still fixed on the table.

Emmett looked up from his computer and sighed as he gazed at his sister-in-law. He shrugged. "I wish I could tell you that, Bell. I would say you need to do some serious thinking and figure out exactly what you want, and exactly how you are going to make things happen."

"I can't call him," Bella said quietly, still refusing to look away from the smooth wood grain of the table. "I was so sure I was right. How can I tell him how very wrong I was?"

"Only you can answer that."

Silence fell over them again, and Bella finished her cereal and rinsed the bowl out in the sink before returning to her room. She intended to attempt to sleep again, but just as she was preparing to lie down, she heard the familiar buzz of her phone.

Her heart leapt into her throat as she frantically searched her belongings, desperate to remember where she had left it. Finally, she retrieved it and had to consciously work to control the shaking in her hands when she saw who it was.

"Hello." She tried to keep her voice even, but was fairly sure she failed and that he heard the nervous tremor anyway.

"Bella," Edward said simply.

"Hi, Edward." Bella's voice was not much more than a whisper, and when he was silent for a moment she was afraid he had been unable to hear her. She had just opened her mouth to speak again when he finally answered.

"How are you?" he asked.

Her heart fell when she detected the frosty tenor of his tone.

"I'm doing ok. I'm at Rosalie's."

"Oh, good. I'm glad you made it back okay," he said politely.

She closed her eyes as her hopes plummeted. "Yes," she answered lamely, completely unsure of what she should say. There were a million thoughts screaming in her head at the moment, but she didn't seem to be able to turn any of them into words.

"Well, I'm sorry to bother you, I just had a quick question for you," Edward said. "I spoke with Tanya last night."

Bella's heart skipped a beat. Before she could form a response, Edward continued. "She mentioned leaving some photos of her ultrasound with you, but I didn't see them anywhere in the apartment. Do you know where they are?"

Bella furrowed her brow, trying to think back to the blur of horrible moments that made up the visit from Tanya. She remembered seeing the envelope, but she was fairly sure Tanya had not left anything with her.

"I'm sorry. I don't think she left anything with me. She had an envelope with her, but didn't leave it."

Edward was silent for a moment. Finally, he said, "Okay, I'm sure she just forgot that she took them back with her. Thanks anyway."

"You're welcome."

The little voice inside her head was screaming at her not to let the conversation come to an end without saying something to him. Desperate, she searched her brain for what to say, where to begin.

"Edward?" she asked.

"Yes?"

"I...I love you," she blurted.

Edward was silent for a moment. Then he sighed heavily. "Don't do that." His voice was tight and angry, and Bella immediately regretted her words. They were true. They would always be true, but she somehow knew that she'd lost the right to say them to him. "You made your choice, Bella. It's not fair to keep reminding me."

With that, the line went dead. Stunned, Bella sat on the bed, staring mutely at the phone she still clutched in her hand. She had thought she had felt the loss of hope before, but as she curled up in a ball in the middle of the tangled bed covers, she felt that for the first time in her life, she knew what it was to feel truly hopeless.