A/N: Sorry for the late-ness! I had to do a bunch of homework for school--and I still have to write my two pages of notes (front and back, yay!) for Algebra II. Also I really should practice for my Spanish oral final.

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Remday, Gnome-Redecan 28, ND 2018

I had that dream again. That dream retelling my memory of the battle at the bottom of the Absorption Gate, then the lowering of the Outer Lands afterwards. A hell of a lot happened. I didn't even know my right from left until it was all done with. I knew in my head that Mas--Van would try to kill me, but not the extremes he went through at the Gate.

I will never forget that instant when we were falling to the planet's core below--he never let go of me. Even though we were pretty much guaranteed death upon entering the core, he wanted me dead so badly that he took his sword and slashed my side open, the wound I had healed (clumsily) before.

I remember seeing my own blood streaming in the air, like a sick sort of ribbon, as I fell. That was when Lloyd saved me. He came flying down in a bright turquoise light, grabbed me and gave Van a kick that got him away from me. I don't know why, but I had Van's sword. Guess I just wanted to make sure that bastard could never swing it at me again.

Anyway, that turquoise light turned out to be wings, Lloyd's wings. He carried me back to the passage ring, even healed me. He's always so strong, physically and mentally. Kind of like Tear, but he's not cold like she can be.

Later, I asked Jade about Lloyd's wings, and he said that they were made of memory particles and Third Fonons from Lloyd's own body, artifically strengthened and projected by the capacity core on his hand. Like the Sephiroth Trees. Yulia City had Asch use a device similar to stimulate the Sephiroth and raise a Tree one final time, to bring the Taratrus to the Outer Lands once again.

Guy flipped when he saw Lloyd's wings, saying that Kratos the Ardent had wings, too, and that Kratos and Lloyd weren't human. Guy, how could you say sucha thing ... you and Lloyd got along fine until now. You were the one who told me you'd trust him, despite what Jade said about Lloyd being untrustworthy. How my trust in someone has been misplaced before.

And you trust me, even waited for me in Aramis Spring, even after Akzeriuth. I remember catching Jade saying to Guy at the passage ring: "Why would you be angry at him for keeping his own secrets?"

I think I know why Guy acted that way. He thinks that Lloyd could be plotting something, like Van did. Like Guy used to. Guy would have killed me or Asch, so I guess he knows better than anyone how to deceive someone. But ... one of Lloyd's Dwarven Vows: Dwarven Vow # 18: It's better to be deceived than to deceive.

I want to believe in Lloyd. He's helped me so many times.

When I was lowering the Outer Lands with Asch, I heard Lorelei's voice for the first time in a long while:

"Luke! I will send you the key! Use it to set me free! One who would sieze glory ... is trying to capture me ..."

I didn't understand what it meant, and I never received any sort of "key," so I ignored it. Before we left the Absorption Gate, I took Vorpal from the ground. It had stuck there when Van disarmed me and pushed me off the edge. I thought of leaving Van's sword stuck in the ground, like a grave marker, but after what he'd been trying to do--create a replica world, destroying the originals in the process--I figured it'd be better if the world just forgot about him.

It's cruel to Tear, but I can't ever forgive Van, not for manipulating me, leaving me to die in Akzeriuth, or for having me imprisoned and tortured under Daath's cathedral. I still have nightmares of both Akzeriuth and Daath. I suppose it's more than I deserve after I destroyed Akzeriuth, stole Asch's place, home, family ... everything. But still. It's almost enough to make me wish I had died in Akzeriuth, or in Daath's cathedral.

But if I gave in like that, what Van said about me being nothing more than a replica, a replacement to overthrow Yulia's Score, would be validated and proven true.

Even if he's dead, I want to show Van he's wrong. So I brought Van's sword home with me. Like with the Sword Dancer monster we kept running into, Van's spirit might reside in the weapon he'd used in life.

Watch me, Van. I am your puppet no longer.

Dust had begun to gather on Luke's desk, most of all the diary that lay open upon it. Most mornings he found himself staring at that same page, that same last sentence. I am your puppet no longer. He would wonder, was that really true? He was Van's puppet because he had been a substitute for Asch until Akzeriuth's collapse. He was Asch's substitute still. A mere week ago after the battle at the Absorption Gate, Luke returned to the manor in Baticul.

At first he hadn't wanted to. He was going to get a job as a guardian of merchants traveling by land through Chesedonian trade routes. Fighting monsters and protecting caravans was all Luke really knew how to apply as a livelihood, after all. But Tear and Guy convinced him otherwise. Guy had said, "You told me before--you may be a replica, but you're still of House Fabre."

But it was what Tear said and done that really made Luke come back to the manor.

"Your mother has not seen you since you left for Akzeriuth. Go home, for her, if not yourself."

And she had given him her mother's star sapphire pendant. Mortified, he tried to give it back to her--it was a momento of her own late mother, who died right after she was born--but Tear insisted. Luke was the one who bought it back, anyway, technically the property belonged to him.

But what was Luke to do in a home where everyone but his kind hearted mother (or who was to say it wasn't her need to have a son, any son, to care for) treated him with fear and contempt for being a replica. He knew what kinds of things they whispered behind his back when they thought they were out of earshot. The imposter, not the true heir to the Duchy, never mind the throne. The fake who only took up space at the Duke's expense.

Poor, pitiful replica indeed.

Part of Luke was deeply discouraged and saddened by all the things people said about him behind his back--but he would think of Van, and he would remember that he had vowed to prove his old sword master wrong. To prove his old sword master wrong, he would have to prove them all wrong--he wasn't just a replica, he was his own person, with his own thoughts, feelings, and experiences. All those were his alone. Not Asch's.

So Luke led an active life once he returned to the manor--if he was to succeed the Duchy (as Duke Fabre seemed to intend, as Asch evidently had no plans to return home), he may as well learn to fit that role as well as he could. So he studied with the royal tutors how to administer land, specifically how to administer the land that was Belkend, heriditary Fabre territory. He'd been to Belkend a fair few times, and he knew the Governor by now.

He learned government, other social studies, mathematics (expanding upon his skill with budgeting the party's funds on the journey), finance, the legislative processes both on the national and local levels. He also continued to study Ancient Ispanian--the other nobles of not only Kimlasca but Malkuth knew the ancient tongue, as did the higher-ranking Daathics in the Order of Lorelei. He'd never studied so much in all his life, not even when Guy had been looking after him.

He seemed to be doing a fairly good job of making himself useful instead of just "taking up space," for the Duke never said a word against him, nor threatened to boot him to the curb. But all work and no play made Luke a very dull boy, inside and out. So as a hobby he'd continued to work on his swordplay and furthered his study of fonology and controlling his hyperresonance and fonic artes. Since he could use the Seventh Fonon, he figured he may as well work on his healing artes, too. That shabby healing job in the Absorption Gate still gave him nightmares.

Whenever he retired after a long day of studying how to be a duke, doing some sword practice and fonic artes, he'd lay on his bed, staring at his various belongings. Mainly his still open diary which he hadn't updated in forever, and Van's sword, mounted on the wall. The amber gold jewel set in the hilt that so eeriely resembled an eye always watched him. He hadn't been aware when he had started doing it, but he had developed a habit of murmuring Tear's hymns to himself before he went to sleep. He didn't know all of them yet (just the First through the Fourth of the projected seven), but singing them made him feel better in this uncomfortable home.

In this hostile home where many of the maids and servants went out of their way to not be in the same room with him, his only friends were his mother Suzanne, who loved him regardless of the circumstances of his birth, Pere who was nice, Ramdas, and then Mieu, the little cheagle who had still followed him home because his exile sentence was not yet fulfilled.

The little blue furball was curled up at Luke's side on the bed, squeaking and chirping with delight. "Master, you're so busy these days!" It positively purred. "I'm really proud of you, Master! And Natalia is, too!"

Luke's gaze lingered on the ceiling. "She would be." He said absently. He stretched, yawning. He was so tired. Though Duke Fabre still found ways of rubbing Luke's incompetence in his face--Natalia's traveling the world on official business and you're still cooped up in here! Well, Luke liked to think that staying cooped up in the manor and actually doing something, like learning to succeed the Duke so Belkend wouldn't go to hell one day, was better than just staying in the manor and moping about. Which undoubtedly what Luke would have been doing, if not for the time he'd spent traveling with Lloyd. That guy had taught him a few things.

Luke had never wanted to be overly prideful ever again, but Lloyd taught him the importance of working to better oneself ... and the brunette's stubbornness might have rubbed off on him. Not doing anything upon returning home would be the most selfish, nonsensical thing Luke could have been doing. But since he had returned home, he had the role of Duke and Madam Fabre's son, even if he wasn't their real son. And as their son, he needed to learn to be a Kimlascan noble and future duke.

But this house ... was so lonely now, even with the support of Suzanne, Mieu, Natalia, Pere, and Ramdas. It was lonely because Duke Fabre had given Guy leave upon their return. Luke had never witnessed this exchange. All he knew was that he went to bed and when he awoke, Guy had been packing his bags and saying his farewell. It made Luke sad for more than one reason. He had lived with Guy all his life. Now that the blond swordsman was gone, there was an emptiness in his heart. That, and he couldn't help but feel there was some enmity between them when the sole Gardios heir had left. Certainly that bitterness had something to do with trusting Lloyd.

Yet there was one thing that bothered Luke about Guy's leaving. Guy had left behind the Jewel of Gardios, the familiy sword that Duke Fabre had claimed as a trophy after the murder of the Gardios family. Did Guy leave it behind as a symbol of putting his past behind him, taking Luke's childhood words to heart, or did he leave it so he'd have a reason to come back? He just didn't know.

Or maybe it had something to do with the fact Luke kept Van's sword, his own personal trophy for the murder of one more of the Gardios household. It was only after Guy had left and Luke pondered about this did he come to such a conclusion. Bile rose in his throat whenever he thought on it. He had the sword of one of the Gardios household he had slain, by his own hand. Just his like his father had slain Guy's father, and took his sword.

Like father, like son. He truly must be a member of House Fabre.

"Master," Mieu murmured, his small brow scrunched up worriedly. The little cheagle always knew when Luke was feeling anxious, or down. Just like now. "Are you feeling okay?"

"Not really," Luke admitted, remembering when he had asked Tear if she was pushing herself after she had shown signs of illness after activating the passage rings. Back then, they hadn't known the cause of her illness, and whenever Luke had inquired, Anise would pull him aside and scold him. Did he seriously think someone, especially someone like Tear, to say, "Yes, I'm pushing myself?" He sighed, rubbing his eyes. It was getting late, and he was expected to be up early in the morning, just like every day now. He really should be getting to sleep.

"Mieu!" Mieu chirped, jumping on Luke's chest, settling his weight so he and his master were almost nose to nose. "Well, go to sleep! There's a surprise for you in the morning!"

"Surprise?" Luke quirked a brow at the tiny cheagle. "Like what? Father's gonna kick me out after all?"

"Noooo!" Mieu shook his head, his huge ears flapping about wildly. "It's a good surprise! So go to sleep and have good dreams, okay?"

Inwardly Luke wondered what it was, but it was clear Mieu was adamant about the getting to sleep part. "Okay, okay. I'll get to sleep ..."

Satisfied, Mieu curled up in a ball of fluff, managing to fall asleep in record time. The little thing was so ... weird. Luke sighed, stretching again. He didn't really feel like getting to sleep, but he did need rest. If he was going to fulfill his vow of proving Van wrong, he needed to do what he could. What he could do right now was go to sleep. Luke took in a deep breath, exhaling slowly.

"Toue Rei Zue ..."