Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight, its plot or any recognizable characters, they belong to Stephenie Meyer.
To prevent any confusion the years will start with the morning after Jake claimed Seth and will add up as the years pass. The blessing Billy reads is a traditional Native American blessing it was not written by me.
In a few days I'll post a summary of the next story, it is a spin-off this one, I hope you'll like it. Stay tuned!
I want to thank all the wonderful readers that joined me in this journey and stayed with me. Your encouraging words gave me the energy to keep aiming to please each and every one of you.
I especially want to give recognition to the best Beta in the world, my wonderful husband. Single handedly you have shown me the meaning of unconditional love. Your support and encouragement has been key in the completion of this work. Boosting my confidence every time fear and self-doubt affected me and inspiring me with your kindness and strength. Thank you from the bottom of my heart, I love you.
Chapter 35 Freedom
The next morning came way too early or at least I thought it was morning. My chest felt impossibly hot as I laid over something hard and warm. I was almost on top of Jake, my face resting on his rippled stomach, our legs intertwined.
I yawned in what I was sure was a very unattractive way and rubbed my eyes, not ready to wake up just yet. I felt like I ran a fucking marathon I wasn't sore, just plain tired. In a way I did run a marathon, the Jacob Black 10K. Lifting my gaze carefully in case he was still sleeping I was met by those gorgeous chocolate orbs.
I was taken aback by the change in his appearance. His whole face looked younger, his gaze softer than I've ever seen it. His permanently furrowed eyebrows laid in a relaxed arch over his eyes, not at an angle; his lips, soft, plump and kissable. Who would've known that making love would make Jake even more gorgeous? Oh…my…fucking… golly…. Jake and I made love last night. He claimed me… I was his.
"Good morning my angel." His voice also softer and if that was even possible, more loving.
"Good morning." I answered simply, feeling myself blush.
"Did I wake you up? I was trying not to move, so I wouldn't disturb you."
"You didn't wake me up, your stomach is grumbling so loud it sounds like you have a freaking bear in there." I said poking his stomach with my fingers, making him giggle. Jacob giggling? Who the heck was this and what did he do with my boyfriend?
"Sorry babe, but it's your fault, it was meager pickings last night."
"Well I guessed you didn't want to get too full from a heavy meal." I winked at him while resting my chin on his chest.
"You had everything planned didn't you?" He ran his fingers through my hair slowly, like he was doing it for the first time. Just like me, to him everything was new, our new intimacy was far greater than we ever expected. Last night we were able to take a glimpse into each other's mind, as brief as it was, it allowed us to see what we wanted and expected of each other.
"Pretty much." I said resting my head on his chest, the steady beat of my heart threatening to lull me back to sleep.
"Seth, are you ok?" He seemed unsure, like he would rather not know the answer to that question "I mean, are you sore?" He asked sheepishly with a concerned look in his face.
"Not really, tired and hungry but not sore."
"You know I mean…back there…"
"Yes I know Jake; I'm fine really, stop asking." I said burrowing my face on his chest, so many insecurities coming to the surface. I was not only embarrassed, but afraid that now that we've taken this step, things would change. I doubted it, but I was not used to things going my way and this relationship had proven that more than once.
"Why are you so embarrassed my Seth? Last night was the best night of my life. Making love to you was the single most exhilarating experience I ever had. It was the authentic proof of your unconditional love." He asked genuinely concerned, love flowing freely from each one of his words. I could not even look at him, knowing that he would see the fear in my eyes and worry I was regretting my decision and that was definitely not the case.
"Mine too Jake, it's that so much has happened. I love you so much and I'm afraid." I had to tell him, it was not my intention to begin this stage of our relationship by hiding my feelings from him. I was done hiding, no more hiding my intelligence, no more hiding my sexuality and no more hiding my feelings.
"What are you afraid of, my love, are you regretting our mating?" Cue the insecurities, I was so happy I couldn't imprint, this was though shit.
"No Jake I don't regret giving myself to you, it's that…."
Not known for his patience, Jake tensed up and urged me to tell him. "Seth, for goodness sake spit it out!"
"Now that you made love to me and marked me as yours, are you going to change? Are you going to still be loving and treat me well?" Afraid of his answer I felt my eyes well up. Mimicking my actions of last night I buried my face on his chest trying to hide my tears. Jake lifted my chin and after cleaning the tears that were running down my cheeks with his thumb kissed me softly on the lips.
"My Seth I loved you for a while now, but last night was like that love grew to immeasurable levels. Please never doubt the magnitude of my love for you. You are the single most important person in my life and I'll never change; if anything, I'll love you more. I'll always take care of you and love you like you deserve to be loved, like the owner of my heart."
"Thanks you Jake, I trust you. What about you? Is your wolf behaving?" I knew how cruel Jake's wolf had been and how hard it had been to resist doing what his wolf demanded. That made me admire him even more, his love for me was far greater than even his own nature.
"Yep, he is so happy he is purring." Jake sighed at peace for the first time in months. I just took my position with my head on his chest; Jake traced circles on my smooth back with one of his hands just like he had done last night. We had been in our embrace for some time when I heard a soft humming reverberating on his chest. It was a soft melody, one that I never heard before. Not wanting him to stop I stayed still listening to him.
A minute after he stopped, I lifted my gaze and saw him cleaning a tear from his left eye. "That was beautiful Jake, I've never heard that melody before, what is it?"
"It's a song my mom used to sing to me, I don't remember most of the lyrics but I'll never forget the melody. Whenever there was a storm and I would get scared she would sing it to me. It's amazing; I've not allowed myself to even remember that song since she died, but today it came naturally. I guess I'm happy again Seth, your love made me happy again." Jake wrapped his strong arms around me and held me tightly to his bare chest. We knew that during the strongest storm, in the middle of the darkest night, through the deserts of our life, we would have our love to sustain us.
His embrace felt like home, I had been given a gift; I was made complete by him. This was right; I was exactly where I needed to be in this point of time. The anger and sense of abandonment I felt after the death of my parents had been replaced with peace. The hate and resentment I felt against my heritage, my family and Jake, had been replaced with unconditional love. I rubbed my face against the wall of muscle that was his chest and his scent wrapped me in a blanket of protection, allowing a sigh of content to escape from my throat I relaxed even further onto his chest. I knew what awaited me in the future, a lifetime of peace in his arms.
"I've loved you for a while now, what makes today so different?" I was being a smart aleck for asking that but couldn't help it; it was just too good to pass.
"Well today is not that different, a day like every other, I guess I'm in a better mood today." He said shrugging his shoulders, I glared at him, he had to go there and be a jerk, I asked for it but he could've been more gracious about it.
"I can tell you what is different about today, you fucked me last night." Shit why was I so touchy this morning? In my mind I knew he was joking, why did I allow an innocent comment get to me?
"Seth two things, are you listening?" I nodded affirmatively, he looked pissed. "First, I did not fuck you last night, I made love to you and second I forbid you from ever talking about our mating in such a way."
"Sure, sure." He smirked at my use of his already famous expression.
"Seth, I need to make a phone call, stay in bed, I'll be right back ok."
"No problem, actually I want to take a shower, I'm all sticky. I'll be in the bathroom" I was covered in sweat, lube and cum, damn I was a fucking petri dish.
"No Seth, you'll wait for me here, I'll take you to the bathroom" Dominant much, Mr. Bossy Hot Bod? Even though I was amused with Jake's extreme behavior, my more freedom loving side was appalled by his controlling attitude.
"Jake what's your problem?" I snapped at him.
"Seth you'll need to bear with me for a little while. If I was protective of you before, multiply that by one thousand and that will give you an idea of how much I need to take care of you and protect you now." Oh great now we were back to square one, was he going to hold me prisoner again?
"So that means I won't be allowed to even walk anymore?" I was not planning to take any of this crap, I fought him before and I was not afraid of doing it again.
"No Seth, this doesn't last long. In Sam it didn't happen because of their special circumstances, but in Jared it lasted almost one week. Then things will go back to normal. Ok puppy? Anyway I doubt you can walk well right now. Last night was pretty intense and you were so demanding." He gave me that awful smirk that I loved to hate. The memory of my actions and my words last night came back to me and made me self-conscious, since I acted like a whore and talked like a sailor.
"Sorry." Was the only response I could verbalize.
"What the hell are you apologizing for? I can't wait for us to do it again." Said Jake, wiggling his eyebrows while smiling.
"Now who is the horny puppy?"
"I'm no puppy; I'm the big bad wolf." I laughed out loud; I thought of him so many times as the big bad wolf but didn't remember telling him, maybe I talked in my sleep.
"Well Mr. Big, can you carry me to the bathroom so we can shower."
"Fuck Seth, shower with you? I don't think I will be able to contain myself"
"And who is talking about containing anything." I winked an eye and suddenly I was in the air being carried by strong arms. Jake stopped for a second to retrieve a condom from the drawer and grab the lube before taking off towards the bathroom.
That was the most tantalizing and pleasurable shower of my entire life, in which Jake pinned me against the wall while burying himself inside me again and again. It was still a little painful to take him initially, but it had definitely been easier. Jake carried me to our bedroom where he proceeded to get some clothes from the dresser. When he turned around holding a pair of sweatpants and a gray wife beater, I saw his face contort in pain.
"Jake what's wrong?!" I all but screamed at him.
"Seth the bed…" he whispered so low if it wasn't for my wolf hearing, I wouldn't have been able to hear it.
Turning around I saw the reason for his sudden change. There were blood stains on the bed sheets. Several smears from where I guessed my butt rubbed the sheet while Jake was pounding me. I stood up, but before I could take one step, I was being placed ever so gently on his lap.
"I'm so sorry Seth" I covered his mouth with my hand. This was nonsense it was obvious I was going to bleed a little; for goodness sake, it was my first time. He didn't need to act like he almost killed me.
"Jake you're being dramatic, it was my first time and you are not exactly small down there, you know. There is nothing you could've done differently to change the outcome." All things considered he had been very gentle with me last night. Holding me when I was so nervous I felt I would pass out and going very slow and giving me time to adjust to his size. I haven't had any lovers before, but I was sure he was the perfect lover.
"Thank you for understanding baby, I tried my best." I knew he tried; it must've been a monumental effort to control his urges. Placing me on the bed he dressed me without wasting any opportunity to kiss any part of my body. My body was becoming his very own personal playground.
The next few days went by in a blur, our lovemaking sessions, which were five or six a day, keeping me at a constantly aroused state. The saying proved itself true, the more you do it, the more you want it. And I wanted it! All the time, everywhere, with the exception of Billy's room, there was no surface in the house we didn't try.
Jake cooked all my meals never letting me help to even do the dishes, I was getting freaking spoiled. Since the day Jake claimed me my feet didn't touch the floor, which to be totally honest was getting old fast. I couldn't even walk to the bathroom, drawing the line with letting him watch me do my business; some things were meant to remain private.
Wednesday afternoon I was awoken from a nap by the sound of voices coming up from the living room. Chasing the nap bunnies away I blinked a few times trying to focus. I identified the voices as Sam and Emily, hoping everything was ok and this was just a social visit. After dressing hastily with some clothes I found at the foot of the bed, I jumped out of bed, but just after the second step I knew Jake was right, I couldn't walk very well. My hips were sore and felt tight; this was a completely new feeling. I had no idea what I was going to do when I returned to school. Walking slowly I reached the top of the stairs, immediately three pairs of eyes landed on my shaking form.
"Seth, stay upstairs." Yeah right, like I was going to listen to him. Jake was getting used to me being a good submissive, but he should know better, that was not going to last long. Ignoring my pain I began climbing down the staircase. Before I could register Jake was standing in front of me with an extremely annoyed look on his face.
"Seth, when I tell you something I expect you to comply, you need to learn your place my little submissive." He said this in a gentle but very assertive way, his hot breath hitting my face and making me yearn for his touch and for his lips. Fuck! Seth Clearwater, get a grip! I took a deep breath to clear my thoughts, trying to shake off any sex related thoughts.
"I thought my place was by your side as your mate, not obeying like a dog." Cheap shot I knew it, since I could never defeat Jacob in a battle of wills, I had to do use my cleverness.
"Seth I don't expect you to obey, just to respect me as your dominant. I will never disrespect you in such a way. Anyway my request has nothing to do with that, I'm just not ready." Now I was confused.
"Ready for what Jake?"
"To share you with other people."
"Jake sooner or later I have to leave this house." He couldn't argue with that, he didn't like it, but unless he was planning to hold me captive, I would have to eventually leave the house. Jake stood still deep in thought for a minute before speaking.
"Ok you can come downstairs, but I'll carry you." I would not tell him, but he had no idea how happy I was to be carried downstairs.
"Hi guys!" I cheerfully greeted a smirking Emily and a suddenly serious Sam.
"Hello sweetie, how are you?" Said Emily while giving me an impish look.
"I'm great, missing everybody."
"Seth you're so full of it, you are not missing anybody. I'm surprised you even remember our names." Said Sam in a pitiful attempt to be funny, he was never one to hide his feelings very well. That's why whenever he was angry or upset and didn't want people to notice, he would just turn to stone.
"Sam what's wrong? You don't seem quite yourself. Is everybody ok?" I had an idea of why he was acting so strange, but decided to let him tell me, instead of making a fool of myself if I was wrong.
"Everybody is fine." Answered Sam curtly.
"Then what's wrong, are you mad at me?" I don't remember doing anything that would grant me Sam's anger, but in view of my total ignorance, I felt I needed to inquire about this possibility. As a reaction to my distress Jake's arm tightened around me, while taking a step back, probably resolute in getting me away from the reason for my discomfort.
Sighing deeply Sam offered his explanation. "Seth you're my little brother and seeing Jake carry you downstairs makes it painfully obvious you cannot walk right now and I can't help but be upset about it. It's a big brother thing."
"Sam, I didn't hurt him." Interjected Jake probably feeling he needed to defend himself. I placed my hand on his cheek to help him calm down; nobody wanted tempers to flare up.
"Baby, he knows" I turned to look at Sam while resting my head on Jake's shoulder. By allowing my body language to speak for me, I showed him I was happy and at ease in his arms. Sam nodded in understanding, giving me a small smile. "Anyway why are guys here? Are you checking on us?"
"Kind of, we thought that since neither one of you has left the house in five days, you're probably running low on food." Emily was right, I stocked the pantry but with the way Jake eats there was not much left, especially considering that our new activities were making him hungrier. Jake placed me on the sofa next to Emily and ran outside with Sam to get the groceries from their car. He literally ran, didn't walk, didn't jog, he ran, leaving my side for the first time in five days. My wolf was hilarious when he was acting like a scared puppy.
"So Seth, before Jake comes back, tell me, are you happy?"
"Yes Emily, this past week has been just unreal. Jake has been the devoted lover and boyfriend everybody told me he would be. You were all right and I just needed to get my head out of my ass long enough to see it too. Emily if I may ask, where did Sam mark you?" Since Jake marked me, I had been wondering about it, it was none of my business, but it was part of my nature to be curious about certain things. While I was talking, Jake and Sam walked in with an armful of bags each and went directly to the kitchen to put everything away.
"He didn't Seth, our circumstances were very different and at the time he didn't know about the marking. Since that's something that has to happen the first time, he lost his chance. Anyway he always said he didn't deserve to do it, sometimes he still feels that way. Jake marked you?" Emily was whispering, she should know better, they could hear her whispering even from outside.
"Yes, right here" Pulling my t-shirt to the side, I revealed the double crescent mark on my shoulder. As I was doing this, Jake and Sam walked into the living room. Sam stood frozen in his path; his eyes went wide at the sight in front of him, a slight twinge of anger and longing in his eyes.
"Damn Seth you look like a leech bit you." His tone was an odd combination of anger and acceptance.
"No leech Sam, just the big bad wolf." Jake smiled softly and approached me, kneeling in front of me. We got lost into each other's eyes, after running my fingers through his hair, I kissed him softly on the lips. I didn't notice Sam and Emily leaving, just felt my body falling slowly towards the sofa and Jake's form hovering over me as he took my clothes off.
Two years later
"Seth Clearwater." The principal announced my name over the microphone in the commencement ceremony. I walked up the few steps to the stage where the principal and some of the elders awaited to hand me my high school diploma. The small room filled with the wild wave of applause and the roar of cheers from my family and friends. My whole cheering section made up about half the people in the small auditorium. Towering among them, I could clearly see my Jake, the look of pride on his face spoke of what resided in his heart.
I did not only graduate from high school, but I did it with honors. Not having to hide my intelligence anymore allowed me to get the grades I was meant to have and in the process ensure me a nice scholarship that in combination with a scholarship given to me by the council, were going to cover my tuition and most of our living expenses.
After the ceremony I walked through the crowd trying to reach my family, it was not an easy feat as the small group of graduates all donning their black cap and gowns were intent in doing the same. At least for me it would be easier since I could always find the beacon of light that was my mate, not only that, but he was the tallest person there.
Impatient as ever he pushed his way through the crowd to get to me, I was surprised he was not flinging people right and left, seeing so many were touching me, something he still detested and always would. He picked me up by the waist bringing me up to meet his lips. I heard a few gasps around us, probably from the few people visiting from out of town, because everybody in the reservation knew about us and especially knew to reserve any comments they had for when they were a safe distance from us.
That afternoon we had a barbeque in Sam's house that was attended by most of the pack. Jared was the only one not present since he was having lunch with Kim and her grandparents who came all the way from New York for her graduation. For Jake and I the party was bittersweet, in a week we would be leaving the reservation for our new apartment and our new life. We rented a tiny apartment between Seattle and Forks, that way Jake could keep working in the garage he had been working on for over two years and I could attend the University of Seattle.
Like he hadn't already sacrificed enough, Jake relinquished his position as alpha to Sam while we lived outside the reservation. It was the practical decision, Jake would still cover all his patrols but Sam would try to work up a schedule in which he could do it less often but for longer periods of times. Sam accepted the position of alpha with the condition that as soon as I graduated, we would return to La Push and Jake would resume his position so Sam could stop phasing and grow old with Emily. The idea of Sam growing old and leaving me filled me with anguish, but knowing how much he loved Emily, I understood that for him there was no other option, he wouldn't want it any other way.
Eight years later
"Ok everybody, settle down I want to propose a toast." Several hushes were heard among our group as people stopped their various conversations and listened to Sam.
"I cannot express how proud I am of my brother, the first Clearwater to graduate from college, not only with a bachelor's degree but also with a master's in business administration. I never doubted he could do it and I am most definitely not surprised, after all, he got his brains from me." Again Sam, comedy was not your gift.
"That's why you don't have any left!" Exclaimed Jared, next to a very pregnant Kim while holding their two year old son, Matthew, on his lap. Not even fatherhood had put a damper on Jared's sense of humor and to be totally honest Sam walked into that one all by himself. Sam just glared in his direction before continuing.
"As I was saying before I was so rudely interrupted, I am so proud of my brother, with a lot of effort and making many sacrifices he obtained his degree. Both Seth and Embry are making us look good." Embry absence was felt by all of us, but we knew he was working really hard to improve himself. We all supported his decision to temporarily leave the pack and go to med school. He was already in his second year and even though he was not getting much sleep, he loved every minute of it. He said he wanted to come back and work in Forks and in the reservation. With so many wolves needing patching up every once in a while, he will have his hands full.
Three years before, there had been a steady stream of leeches nosing around our lands, this triggered the change in four more wolves which brought our numbers to fourteen, one of the biggest packs in the United States. They were all dominates; I secretly wished at least one of them would be a submissive, but when I inquired about it, Billy explained to me that each pack can only have one submissive, if any. There is only one female alpha in each pack and I was it.
"Seth, I raise my glass in your honor, making known that we all feel the same way. You have many God given gifts and one of those is your intelligence. Use the knowledge you acquired in these five years to build a strong foundation for your family, to help develop our reservation even further and to honor our parents and our traditions." I breathed deeply a few times to prevent me from crying when Sam mentioned our parents. Noticing my sudden distress Jake squeezed softly the hand he was holding in his own.
"Everybody, please join me to honor my brother, Seth; cheers!" All around us my family and friends clinked their bottles of beer and cups of soda. After this Jake stood up in what was positively going to be a toast.
"Well I guess now is my turn. I witnessed all of Seth's hard work, the long sleepless nights and the endless hours in front of the computer. He was focused, knowing exactly what he needed to do to succeed. Seth never lost his smile or his enthusiasm, even when he was so tired he could barely keep his eyes open. Especially he never made me feel like a distraction or like I took second place in his life. Sometimes he doesn't realize just how wonderful and perfect he is, but he has me to remind him every day. This achievement goes to prove once more how much strength Seth has inside him. He is smart, funny, beautiful and the most loving person ever created." Everybody turned quiet, even the children, all we could hear was the sound made by the wind cradling the leaves of the trees around us. Jake took a few nervous steps in my direction and I felt the breath get caught up on my throat when I saw him get on one knee in front of me.
"My beautiful Seth, I love you more than you'll ever know, when I'm awake you're always in my thoughts and when I sleep you visit me in my dreams. My angel, you have been my life for eight wonderful years and I can only pray that we would have many more years together. Since you accepted me, my life changed for the best, you made my life worth living. My love for you grows stronger with every beat of my heart. I'll always love you, cherish you and protect and honor our bond. Seth Clearwater, will you be my husband?" I saw that moment as an opening wide shot in a movie, the camera moving slowly towards us, only to leave Jake and me in the frame. I was genuinely floored, we had talked about it more than once, but never in my wildest dreams had I thought he would propose today. Then reality hit me hard, the second I saw him get in one knee I just knew what he was going to do. My eyes welling up with emotion and my heart racing as I heard him declare his love in front of all our family and friends. I cried out loud so everybody could hear me, "Yes!" and jumped towards him almost knocking him down on the floor. After kissing him repeatedly and whispering many I love you, I took a step back to look at the man who a minute ago asked me to marry him. He held my hands shaking slightly, we felt like two kids who just shared their first kiss, excited, nervous, anxious and desperately in love. Jake took out of his pocket a bracelet that he placed on my left wrist; it consisted of a very intricate zigzag design in blue, rust and sand, fastened using a pair of braided cords with a small carving of a russet wolf on it. It was elastic which would be very convenient when I phased. It was impossible for either one of us to wear rings, so Jake's personal take on the old Quileute tradition of giving a promise bracelet to your betrothed made perfect sense.
Nine years later
The past year had been filled with work, beginning our life as a family and planning our wedding. The wedding planning facet was the easiest one since we were going to have an intimate gathering with only our family and closest friends. The place for the ceremony was easy to decide since both Jake and I had the same idea, one of the clearings Jake had created during one of his rage attacks. Through the years we visited that specific one many times and discovered a gem in our back yard. It was located next to a small creek and a lot of flowers grew all over fueled by the abundant amount of rain and virgin terrain. The reception would take place in the reservation community center, where we planned to have a catered dinner, dancing and cake. It would be simple and fun, nothing stiff or fancy, just a group of friends celebrating life, friendship and family, perfect for us.
The only gray cloud in our wedding plans had been Jake's sister Rachel who adamantly refused to come to the wedding. She felt that Jake was just confused and his poor choice of mate was due to their father lack of discipline. To say that Billy had been pissed was the understatement of the year. He yelled at her for good fifteen minutes, recriminating her for escaping from their lives fifteen years ago and abandoning him and Jake when they needed her the most. Something that I was not aware of, was the fact she lived less than four hours away, but never came to visit, giving the excuse that it was too hard without her mom here. Billy called her a hypocrite and told her that if she did this to her brother, she might just pretend they all died in the accident that took away her mom. It was very harsh and painful for Billy to say this, Jake and I just comforted him as he wept after hanging up the phone.
With the help of the construction company that Sam worked for, we built a small house in the Black's property, we wanted to stay very close to Billy, but at the same time have our privacy. Billy insisted that this was not the Black property anymore, but the Black-Clearwater property. He said that even before we decided to hyphenate our last names after getting married. The house was small but it's very high ceilings made it look bigger. We were thrilled with the fact that we were able to customize everything to Jake's size and at the same time make it accessible for me. It also had plenty of land around it that would provide for expanding it as the family grew. It had two bedrooms, an eat-in kitchen, living and dining room combination and one bathroom. It was perfect for us and it was move-in ready a month before the wedding. We decided not to live in it until after the wedding; wanting to move into our brand new house as a married couple. Billy was more than happy to have us under his roof a little bit longer, he had gotten used long ago to our wild, loud and crazy nights and a good pair of ear plugs always helped.
As our wedding approached we were expecting to experience a lot of fighting, anxiety and nerves but neither one of us felt that way. The only time I had a fit was after one too many jokes about me wearing a white dress at the wedding. Jake and I decided we were going to wear dark blue suits with sand colored shirts. It was our own personal take on the beach, the dark blue ocean against the sparkly multi-hued sand. The only difference would be our ties; mine would be sand and his russet brown, honoring our wolves, which were such an important part of us. We were both busy, taking care of all the last minute preparations, but we didn't argue or get cold feet. We were sure of our decision, we made a point to leave all bad experiences in the past and look forward to a happy future filled with hope and love.
Jacob's sister Rebecca and her husband arrived a week before the wedding. After Rachel's rejection, I was very nervous for her reaction, but was pleasantly surprised by her total acceptance. Even though her never ending shrieking every time Jake and I would steal a kiss or hold hands was getting very old, it was fun to have her around. Billy was beaming; having two of his children with him made him extremely happy.
Our combined bachelor party was very tame especially considering we were part animal. We got together in Quils house to play cards and have a few beers. The pack had decided to make their goal for the night to get us drunk. In my case it was easy, after several beers and a few shots of tequila I was singing Poker Face by Lady GaGa. With Jake it was impossible, they gave him almost a whole case of beer and so many shots they lost count and he barely got a little tipsy. The next day I felt I was going to die, and swore off alcohol for the rest of my life. Thankfully the bachelor party happened a week before the wedding, if it had been the night before I don't know what I would've done. Jake gave the guys a good run for their money for making his baby sick; he chased them all the way to Canada, with the promise to pound them as soon as they showed their sorry faces in La Push, and he did.
It was very emotional for all of us when I shared my theory about Jake's scent changing to moss and wildflowers. I felt it had been a gift from the spirits of my parents. This way even from the spirit world they guided me toward my happiness. Leah and Sam walked towards me and we mixed in a warm embrace while salty tears rolled down our faces. There was not one dry eye in the cramped living room of Sam's house where we had gathered to ask permission to marry. Even though our union would be as untraditional as they come, we still wanted to keep some aspects of our heritage. Our traditions were fundamental parts of who we were. One of these was to ask permission to marry from the families. Traditionally the groom would ask the bride's family and seal the engagement with gifts. Since I refused to be considered the bride, Jake asked Sam for his blessing and I asked Billy for his blessing.
I cried openly when during the rehearsal dinner Billy referred to me as his son. My father and I were very close and I missed him more than ever. These past years Billy filled part of the hole I had in my heart because of the absence of my parents. Billy explained how after a difficult beginning I made him swallow each one of his glares and mean-spirited words. He said that my love for his son showed him the error of his ways and that nothing can be accomplished by being closed minded and prejudiced. Love is love and it recognizes no nationality, social status or gender.
Jake and I spent the night before our wedding away from each other. It was the first time in nine years we didn't sleep together at least part of the night. There had been occasions when the patrols kept Jake away for hours or I stayed up late studying. But even if it was just a couple of hours, we always found ourselves cuddling in each other arms in our bed. I slept in my old room in Sam's house, courtesy of my nephew Timothy who gracefully allowed me to share his room. Leah and her husband also decided to spend the night and what was supposed to be a relaxing and restful night was turned into a slumber party. We stayed up late sharing stories of our childhood while eating cookies and drinking cocoa. I laughed until my face hurt and tears filled my eyes. By two in the morning Sam called it a night and ordered everybody to go to bed so he and Emily could rest for a few hours. Leah and I felt like two little kids again and we wouldn't change it for the world.
After a few hours of sleep I welcomed the morning of the most important day of my life, the day I would become Seth Black-Clearwater. I could've slept more, since the wedding was at four o'clock but as soon as I opened my eyes the realization of what was going to happen today chased the sleep away from my eyes. I walked to the window to see what kind of day awaited us and bask in the rays of sunlight that were coming through the window in what was promising to be a beautiful day. Even nature conspired to make this day glorious. The sky was a beautiful shade of blue instead of our usual gray overcast. The small drops of dew were still present in the vegetation, reflecting the bright sun, shining on them, the light bouncing off in every direction like diamonds. I was humbled by all the beauty that surrounded us in our small reservation.
So many memories filled my mind in a constant flow of images, words and feelings. The first time I phased and Jake imprinted on me. Meeting Jay and learning about dominants and submissives. Our first date and the separation that followed that fateful day. My sixteenth birthday, I was already twenty five years old, but I was sure that even if I lived a thousand years I would never forget that day. My imprisonment in Jake's house and the progression of my feelings from hate and fear to admiration and love. The werewolf attack that almost took Jake away from me forever. Closing my eyes I allowed the hot moisture to escape through my lashes as so many emotions assaulted me. I decided to call Jake; I needed to hear his voice, to make sure this had not been a dream. He answered the phone on the second ring.
"Good morning, future Mr. Black-Clearwater!" Answered Jake cheerfully, I breathed a sigh of relief when his voice reached me.
"Good morning Mr. Hot Body Black-Clearwater!" My witty remark got a good giggle out of him. "Did you sleep well baby?"
"Kind of, it was hard to go to sleep without you by me, I've gotten used to having your delicious warm body next to me and my bed felt so empty and cold I almost ran to Sam's house to climb through your window and sleep with you. What about you, you slept well?"
"The few hours I got were good. But we kind of turned last night into a slumber party and stayed up until two o'clock. Baby, I laughed so hard I cried. Listening to Leah and Sam telling stories of when I was a baby was so much fun; I wished you could've been here. Did you know that Leah tried to sell me? She went to Mrs. Williams and told her she could have me for five dollars. Mom and dad gave her a good spanking, but decided to give her more attention because she was obviously jealous of the new baby." Jake laughed heartily at my new anecdote.
"Seth, any second thoughts? Cold feet?" Asked Jake with a hint of worry in his voice.
"None whatsoever. I'm ready to get hitched, are you having second thoughts?"
"Nope, I can't wait; I hope the hours pass really fast."
"Good, I'm going to let you go babe. I'm going to check if Emily needs help with the kids or something." Emily had her hands full with her three children. The older was Timothy who was seven years old, Melanie who was four and baby Alexander who was nine months old. Sam was going to be setting up the tent we rented for the occasion since the weather was so unpredictable. The rest of the pack divided themselves between patrolling and setting up the chairs for the ceremony and the community center.
The hours passed quickly accompanied by a steady stream of visitors and one phone call after the other. By three o'clock I was basically bouncing of the walls, excitement and nerves getting the best of me. At three thirty I walked downstairs looking sharp and ready to get married. Leah approached me and pinned a simple boutonniere that consisted of three wildflowers. It was my special request that I only wanted wildflowers in the wedding, they always reminded me of my mother and I needed to feel her close today. Both Leah and Emily were fighting back tears trying not to ruin their makeup. Sam hugged me tightly and left to meet Jake in his house. Through the years Sam and Jake became very good friends, they had so many things in common and that made the friendship easy. Jake had asked Sam to be his best man at our wedding, position he proudly accepted. I asked Quil to be my best man, he was my obvious choice as through the years and even with the distance, we still confided in each other and became best friends.
We all arrived to the ceremony site with time to spare, I couldn't wait to see Jake; I was shaking, my whole body responding to the occasion. Everything looked beautiful, there were baskets with bunches of wildflowers tied with ribbons on the entrance and in the front. In the front were the ceremony itself was going to take place they placed a traditional woven rug, surrounded by more flowers. There were several rows of chairs and at the end of each row I could see a stand with a candle, it rested on a base that was staked to the ground.
At last, the sole tune of a flute filled the tent with its sweet melody. I entered from the left with Leah on my right side and Sam on my left. Jake entered from the right with Rebecca on his right side and Billy on his left. As soon as Jake was within my sight our eyes met, his smile even brighter, his eyes glistening with the tears that were threatening to escape. We approached each other slowly, in that instant we were alone in the world there was nobody else and nothing else mattered. I was standing in front of the man I had chosen as my husband. We were going to make a commitment in front of our family and friends that was irrevocable and unbreakable.
Billy's voice brought us back to the moment as Jake and I had briefly escaped this reality to meet in a land filled with hopes and dreams. Jake looked at his father wide eyed, incredulity and surprise written on his face. I had told Jake that one of the elders was going to marry us, but always found a way to evade telling him it was going to be Billy. Jake bent forward and hugged his father while thanking him.
"Today we have gathered in this place of natural beauty to celebrate life and love, to celebrate the love of Jacob and Seth. We have the sky as our most sacred cathedral; we have the earth at our feet to hold us and the trees and plants to embrace us. By their commitment to marry each other they are saying yes to love, yes to caring, yes to family. Neither I, nor all society can join these two lovers today. Only they can do what they have chosen. We, by our participation on this celebration, recognize and honor their intention to live as a married couple." Billy struggled to get the words out, emotion tinting every syllable.
"Have you come here in the midst of these natural surroundings to affirm your commitment to each other, freely, voluntarily and without any conditions?" Asked Billy, his question directed at both of us.
"Yes we came voluntarily." We answered at the same time.
"Please face each other and share the vows you have written."
I was the first one to speak "I am so proud to marry you today. You're a precious gift, my personal sun, my hope and my joy. I look at you and see my best friend, by your side I no longer fear being myself. You are my soulmate, without you I would be incomplete. Every time you touch me or look at me, I hope is the touch, the look that will say you're mine; you, the one that claims me. I give myself to you completely as I have given you my hand to hold, so I give you my life to keep. My love for you will be like the constant and unchanging tide, never ending, flowing freely from my soul. Your love came softly upon my heart, just like there will never be a morning without the ocean flow, so there will never be a day without my love for you."
"I Seth Clearwater, take you Jacob Black to be my husband, my partner in life and my one true love."
I thought that by this point I would be bawling but that was not the case, I was overjoyed. This was the single most perfect moment of my life. Looking into the eyes of the man I loved while promising my eternal commitment and love.
Jake then said, "How blessed I am to be able to say that you are mine, to be able to love and cherish you for the rest of my days. I want to hold your hands until mine go numb, stare into your eyes till I go blind, kiss you until my mouth goes dry, protect you until I can't anymore and love you all days until the sun doesn't rise anymore. I belong to you; I offer my life for you. I give to you my protection, my heart, my soul and my body. You are the only one who can look into my eyes and see my soul. You have given me the wonderful gift of peace and happiness and in honor of that gift I pledge before our family and friends to love and cherish you forever."
"I Jacob Black, take you Seth Clearwater to be my husband, my partner in life and my one true love."
"For thousands of years lovers have exchanged rings as a token of their vows. These simple bands are not of great value in themselves, but are made precious by our wearing them. Your rings say that even in your uniqueness you have chosen to be bound together."
"What have you given each other as a symbol of this pledge?" Continued Billy.
"We have given each other our hearts and marked our skin with the symbol of our eternal commitment." Jake and I said in unison. Jake took my hand and kissed my ring finger that now was adorned with the tattoo of a wedding band. We couldn't wear rings, but felt the need to have a visible proof of our commitment. I came up with the idea of tattooing the rings and Jake loved it. Taking Jake's finger I mimicked his actions placing a gentle kiss over his tattoo.
"I will like to read a Native American blessing to the couple".
"Above you are the stars, below you are the stones".
"As time does pass, remember;"
"Like a star should your love be constant."
"Like a stone should your love be firm."
"Be close, yet not too close."
"Possess one another, yet be understanding."
"Have patience with the other; for storms will come, but they will go quickly."
"Be free in giving of affection and warmth."
"Make love often, and be sensuous to one another."
"Have no fear, and let not the ways of words of the unenlightened give you unease."
"For the Great Spirit is with you, now and always."
"May these two people continue to trust, respect and love each other for the rest of their lives as they promised to do this day. Today marks the beginning of an unending journey together filled with wonder, surprises, laughter, tears, celebration and joy. There may be times filled with happiness and times filled with sorrow but remember, love has given you wings and will take you wherever you want. Love brought you here, love will make your marriage a glorious union and it is by love that your marriage will endure."
"Jacob and Seth, although I'm officiating here today, it is not truly in my power to sanctify, legitimize or bless your relationship in any way, because the two of you have already done that in your hearts. So, by joining hands right now and looking into each other's eyes, let it be known that you are joined, body and soul in this lifetime, and that this bond is sacred and eternal. And now that you have stood before us and exchanged these love promises, it is my great joy to announce to every corner of the world that you are one. Now you can share your first kiss as a married couple."
We hesitated for a few seconds, overwhelmed with all the emotions around us and inside us. What's in a kiss? A kiss is the visible expression of love between a couple. But the first kiss as a married couple is special, unique and like a visiting comet it only happens once in a lifetime.
We only had eyes for each other; Jacob inclined his head to the right and bent forward slowly. I closed my eyes tightly waiting to feel his glorious lips connect with my own. His kiss was soft and delicate, making my knees feel weak and my heart race. Placing my arms around his neck, I hugged him pulling him closer to me, I never wanted to let go. Jacob deepened the kiss exploring my mouth like it was the first time. There had been many kisses before this one, but none tasted sweeter and none carried with it so much passion and love. This kiss was sacred and its memory will be embedded in our souls for the rest of our lives.
The rest of the night was a celebration of love and life, the toast itself took almost an hour since so many of our friends wanted to share funny or embarrassing anecdotes of us. At the time I wouldn't believe that one day we would all be laughing at our expense, remembering how defiant I behaved and how annoying Jake was. The food was delicious and at the end of the night Jake and I fed each other some delicious cake.
That night Jake and I walked into our new home hand in hand, he tried to carry me over the threshold but I just told him "no fucking way" and he understood. We had decided to spend our wedding night in our house, in our own bed, the bed he marked with his scent years ago, hoping to claim me in a bed marked by my dominant. I felt my blood going faster in my veins at the sight of our bed; the whole room had a mysterious glow, our whole life making sense in this most perfect moment. We had waited for this moment like the darkness of the night waits for the stars, like a desert waits for rain, like a child waits for Santa Claus, knowing without a doubt that stars will shine, rain will come and Santa will show up. We knew this moment would come and here we were in our home for the first time after pledging eternal love to one another.
Making love for the first time as a married couple was one of those unforgettable experiences. At first I was trembling like it was the first time, but just like in that occasion nine years ago, Jake took the lead and with his love and understanding put me at ease. We surveyed each other's body like our eyes never laid on our naked forms before, like our fingers never touched the most sensitive spots on our body, like we never basked in the scent of our shared arousal. Jake and I were so full of desire breath escaping us hard and fast, goose bumps crawling up the length of our arms even though we felt like we were burning up. When the rapture of sex overtook us, our bodies becoming one with each other and with the universe, we panted and howled in delight. We made love with such passion that we could feel our ecstasy all the way to our bones, swearing right then and there that it would always be just like this.
Fifteen years later
"Daddy, when is papa coming?" Asked Sarah for the umpteenth time, just like her father, Sarah was not known for her patience and today was one of those days when that was made even more obvious.
"Sarah shut up, papa will get here soon, you're going to make daddy upset." My Harry was my rock, the eternally happy child who was able to put a smile in anybody's face. He protected me with a fierce determination that was easily matched to that of his father.
*Flashback*
Four and a half years ago Jake and I decided to test what Jay had said and stopped taking precautions when we made love. Since I didn't have cycles, it would be impossible for us to know if I became pregnant or when, so when I started sleeping more than usual and eating a lot more, neither one of us thought of pregnancy as the cause for my change in behavior. The only red flag, which alerted us to that possibility, happened in Sam's house. We had dinner with them often, that specific day I pigged out in a way that made all of them watch me amused and perplexed. For dessert Emily had prepared the most succulent chocolate cake but when she placed the plate in front of me, just the smell of it had me running out the door into the yard with seconds to spare before I lost my dinner. Jake ran behind me and held my head while I heaved into the grass. When we came back inside, I went to the bathroom to rinse my mouth, but could still hear the conversation coming from the kitchen.
"I wonder what happened; none of us feel sick, so it wasn't the food. Has Seth been sick lately?" Asked Emily, through the years she had shifted from being my sister to becoming a mother figure to me.
"Not really, but now that you mention it, he threw up a few times in the past week. I blamed it on the fact that he has been eating twice the amount of what he usually eats." Jake would give me a hard time every time I got sick, but I just told him to fuck off and make me a sandwich.
"Jake if you don't mind me asking, are you and Seth still taking precautions?"
"Well, not really, we decided three months ago to give it a try. What does that have to do with Seth…" Jake's words trailed off at the same time that I dropped the bottle of mouthwash I was holding. I heard Jake's running toward the bathroom, slipping slightly on the spilled mouthwash when he walked in.
"Jake, could it be?" I whispered nervous and queasy.
"I don't know baby" His eyes were shining as he looked at me while placing his huge hand on my stomach.
"Seth there is a pregnancy test under the sink, your body is so different that it may not work, but it's worth a try." Said Emily from the hallway. I debated whether to do it for a few minutes, but thinking that it was Saturday and I would have to wait until Monday to see the doctor, I decided to take the test.
Kicking everybody out of the bathroom I placed a towel on the floor to absorb the mouthwash and retrieved the small box. After reading the instructions I peed on the little stick and placed it out of my sight to wait the three minutes the instructions called for. To prevent me from looking at the test before time, I made myself busy cleaning the floor the best I could. After the three minutes I held my breath as I opened the cabinet door and looked at the test. There was only one line; there was no cross that would signify a positive result. Feeling my face fall, I walked out of the bathroom test in hand, Jake was beaming when he turned around, but his expression changed the second he laid eyes on my somber expression.
"It's negative baby, I'm so sorry." I held to him for dear life, inhaling his scent to help me calm down.
"What are you apologizing for silly?" I felt like I had failed him, like I was incapable of the most basic and natural act. I knew in my mind, I was being unreasonable and extremely hard on myself, but I didn't feel like making much sense. "We're still going to see the doctor on Monday; we're shifters, we don't get sick. We need to find out what's causing this."
"Ok Jake." I didn't see the sense in seeing the doctor, it had only been a few times, so I didn't know what the big deal was. At that moment I didn't feel like arguing so I just agreed.
The next Monday, Jake took me to see Dr. Barnard and after explaining what was going on he asked me to go in the exam room so he could do an ultrasound of my abdomen. He explained that in my case it was the only way to be sure. He squirted some warm blue gel in my stomach and began sliding the wand on it. After a few minutes of playing with the images and taking some kind of measurements he stopped and placed the wand on the holder.
"Seth you are not pregnant." Immediately I felt my eyes well up and Jake's hold on my hand tightened, trying to comfort me. I had been hopeful that since I was male, the hormones detected by the pregnancy test were not the same in me. "Guys, don't jump to conclusions, Seth you are not pregnant, you are very pregnant. You're having twins" Talk about a freaking roller coaster! Less than a minute ago, I felt so despondent and forlorn, but with a few words the doctor had changed my outlook completely. He proceeded to show us in the monitor the position of the babies inside my abdomen. They were side by side in two different sacs that seemed to originate from my prostate. Jake asked him to print a picture for us; he couldn't wait to show his father and the pack our babies.
"How far along am I doc?"
"Since you don't have a cycle that could give us an idea, I'll have to go with the size of the babies, but then again it may not be so reliable either because they may be developing faster. For what it's worth according to their size they are between ten and twelve weeks old." I had been pregnant for almost three months and didn't know? How could I have not known?
"Seth, I can almost see the gears moving in your head, the babies seem to be that age, but that doesn't necessarily mean you have been pregnant that long. Since I learned of your existence I've been studying everything I could find about your unique anatomy and physiology. As you can imagine, there is not much information about pregnancy in someone like you, but the little I found leads me to believe you will not carry for the usual forty weeks. The gestation period of a normal wolf is of two months. I think you'll carry for maybe twenty five weeks or five and a half months, seeing that you are both human and wolf.
That morning we left the doctor's office, picture in hand, a little scared but deliriously happy.
*End of flashback*
Watching my children from our balcony the memory of my pregnancy flooded my thoughts. How everybody excluding myself doubted I was even pregnant since my body wasn't changing, with the exception of my height which increased drastically. Aside from their mere existence which was the biggest gift of all, my children granted me a secret wish. As they grew inside me, my body grew, adding seven inches to my height. At the end of my pregnancy I stood a very respectable five feet ten inches high. As crazy as it sounded, I had a growth spurt at twenty seven years of age! Jake pouted every time the doctor measured me and grumbled about not having his little Seth anymore, but eventually he got used to the idea and the fact that I was so happy didn't escape him.
One morning I woke up feeling strange and there it was, a noticeable beer belly that was not there the night before. I jumped out of bed the best I could and stood in front of the mirror for good twenty minutes, looking at my stomach from every possible angle. Jake just stood in awe, proud to finally see me round with his children. After that I was basically sequestered to our house, since I couldn't hide my very prominent stomach.
The pack was very supportive and the biggest pain in the ass at times. They kept pestering both me and Jacob about the babies birth, they kept asking me stupid questions like; do your balls block your vagina? Are you going to poop them out? That went on until my hormones kicked in and I almost tore Brady's head off, after that everybody kept their mouths shut. Dr. Barnard asked a colleague who he sworn the secrecy of our heritage, to help during the delivery of the pups. He scheduled the cesarean as soon as he knew the babies' lungs were developed and they were a good size. After six months of wait, at six forty two in the morning, my two angels were born with one minute difference between them.
"Daddy I want to go to the birthday party, I want cake." Harry had inherited my sweet tooth but Jake's disposition. Most people wouldn't know this but Jake was the sweetest most sensitive man. Through Billy's tales I had learned to see Jake in a different light. He was strong willed but never disrespectful, funny and eternally happy. All the years we had been together he had proved to me over and over again that he changed for the best and dedicated his life to making me happy. He was a devoted husband, a loving mate and a wonderful father.
"Now it's you making daddy upset, I'm telling papa when he gets here." Teased Sarah Elizabeth. My baby girl was a firecracker; I suspected that if she ever phased she would become alpha. She had her father's charisma and decisiveness; she was fearless and seemed more in tune with our heritage than Harry was. Maybe I was mistaken and she just took after Leah, who nobody dared to mess with.
"Don't tell papa lies." Harry then punched his sister on the arm.
"Harold Lowell, what have I told you about hitting? Apologize to your sister this instant!"
"Sorry." He sounded as sincere as a cat telling a mouse it just wants to play.
"Like you mean it or you are not going to Michael's birthday party." Embry was known to go all out with his son's birthday parties. He met his wife Ariana while in med school; she worked as a barista in his favorite coffee shop. Embry bought his coffee there every morning and after a while started coming only during her shift, he was able to learn her schedule from one of her co-workers who was trying to play match maker. They got married and moved back to La Push after he completed his residence in internal medicine. Her Hispanic heritage made her blend in easily; she was bubbly and full of life. Every time I saw them together I couldn't help but marvel at the way they complemented each other. Embry didn't worry about the fact he hadn't imprinted, just like me he fell in love in a very human way.
"I'm sorry, sissy." He sounded more sincere and rubbed her arm.
"That's more like it." At last Jake pulled into the driveway in his new truck. A year after the twins were born, Jake's boss decided to retire and move to a place with nicer climate, which in my opinion could be anywhere. Jake had proved more than once to be a very skilled mechanic and invaluable member of his team, attracting many clients who wouldn't allow anybody else fix their cars. His boss asked Jake if he wanted to buy the shop with all the equipment and list of clients included. The price was fair, putting as collateral our house and Billy's, he was able to get a loan and bought the shop. Known for its fair prices and good honest service, the business soared and soon it was listed as the best garage in the area.
After having the babies I decided to work from home and managed the books in addition to dealing with suppliers and clients. I made a good living managing various businesses from home, including Jake's garage, the reservation's store and Quil's sandwich shop.
"Papa, papa!" The kids ran to greet their dad as he was getting off the truck. Jake picked them up happily, his beautiful smile adorning his face.
"You're late." Scolded Sarah.
"I'm apologize little miss, papa had to take care of something at the shop but I'm here now. Are you ready to go to the party? Get in Daddy's van, let's go." Both kids looked at Jake pouting slightly. I had to interfere before it turned into an all-out tantrum.
Walking towards Jake I kissed him chastely on the lips. It was nice that now he didn't need to bend forward as much anymore.
"Love, you promised, we would go as wolves and they could ride on our backs."
"Of course I remembered; I just wanted to tease you." He kissed each kid on the cheek and placed them on the floor. I grabbed his hand and interlacing our fingers we walked towards the woods to phase.
We took our clothes off placing them in a bag that we gave Harry. Sarah had another bag with the present. We phased and crouched on the floor so our children could climb on our backs. Invariably Harry always rode on my back, while Sarah preferred Jake's. As soon as they were secure on our backs we took off running through the woods, the thick canopy making the bright sunny day seem dark and cloudy. Jumping branches and snaking by the trees to protect our children from getting hit. We could feel their small hands pulling on our fur to steady themselves. Their shrieks of joy could be heard all over and filled my heart with boundless love.
As I ran through this forest that held so many memories, in the company of my three treasures, I had to recognize that my life was perfect. Years ago my fears kept me prisoner and Jake's love gave me wings. My idea of freedom kept me anchored to the ground and prevented me from taking flight. I cherished my freedom and was terrified of losing it, thinking that submissive was a synonym of slave. But I was wrong; Jake's love showed me that my freedom resided inside me. His voice spoke to my very soul and helped me find the better part of me that was being held captive in me. Now I wake up next to him every morning. In his arms I feel like my life is a beautiful dream that I never want to wake up from. I'm thankful for my life, because now I have him, I have my children and the three of them gave me my freedom.
****************************************FIN******************************************