There's a part that I took out in this one, don't worry, it'll be brought in... next chapter I promise. And I'm also very sorry for the lateness - read my profile if you truly need my explanation. But please, I hope you enjoy the story!

Rewriting The Soul

Chapter 35

The Things That Keep Us

The ride was uneventful, silent with just the gentle slow breaths coming from the older. Kaiba was used to late nights, he supposed by how quickly the other had fallen to sleep again, it wasn't so normal. He smirked at the thought - he had hoped to be able to discuss whatever it was they found growing between them but that was out of the question. He didn't feel like disturbing him when he seemed so content.

Kaiba slowed to a red light and took the opportunity to gaze at his company, 'What if he does want something with me? If he does… But if it's simply mixed emotions, he hasn't had anyone close to him since the whole ordeal with that girl who ended up being a scam to marry and kill him… What if he ends up wanting to be friends? It's a more reasonable outcome. It's the only rational one at that. That's all it is… Isn't it? Emotions getting the better of him…' He turned his attention back to the road as the light above turned green.

'But… If somehow, rationalization completely disregarded, he did find something about me that he couldn't live without…' A light blush painted his cheeks. 'What would our… 'relationship', be like?' His fingers tightened around the wheel as his mind continued to elaborate on the idea. 'I guess it'd be more or less the way it is now. The light bickering on our ideas of 'fun' and… whether or not coffee is an appropriate breakfast. Late dinners, being dragged around while Pegasus preps a simple party…' The idea seemed so simple, not much would change… Kaiba pulled into the parking lot and turned off the car, gently placing the keys into his inside pocket, he stared over at the object of his dilemma. 'But friends do those sort of things too… Don't they?' He wasn't too sure. Ironically, his belief in not needing such frivolous things as friendship has left him ignorant of their responsibilities and intentions. But he was pretty sure… In any case he knew what friends didn't do. And he was doubtful that Pegasus would truly want to do them either. 'When it comes down to it, I don't think Pegasus would feel comfortable… having an intimate relationship with me. Just because he has a mild attraction to me, which is still arguable, a sexual attraction is most likely out of the question… There's no way he'd ever want to… touch me in such a way…'

He didn't realize such a thing would hurt him so deeply but it did. He supposed it was because the two of them were so connected, their history was a bleak and despairing one but because of it, they'd learned so much about each other. It'd be fair to say there was no one alive that knew them better than the other. The thing was, if ration didn't exist, he could see himself with Pegasus… His arms crossed on the steering wheel as he sighed in exhaustion. It was late. He hadn't realized how tired he was. He buried his face into his crossed arms and shut his eyes. 'Even if he wanted to be friends… I should be happy. That should be enough… But only, to me, I don't know if it is. Damn him and his kisses… his words…' Kaiba clenched his hands into fists. 'I don't know what I'm supposed to feel anymore.'

Pegasus' eyes fluttered open softly. He stretched his arms above his head but furrowed his brows when his forearms met the roof of what turned out to be a car. Looking to the driver's side he found a hunched over brunet, with his face resting gently against the wheel. He looked around through the windows and realized they were in the parking lot of the hotel. He sighed. At least the brunet waited until they were parked to fall asleep and not in the middle of the road.

He smiled lightly and ran a hand through the sleeping brunet's hair. Not wanting to wake the other, he really didn't entertain the idea of sleeping in the car and much less enjoyed the idea of leaving him alone. So he leaned over and shook him gently, stirring those soft eyelids to wince and eventually open up, revealing very tired and hazy blues. Kaiba stared at him for a fraction of a second, seeming more interested on his rather uncomfortable pillow and position.

Realization finally donned on him and his sleepy eyes widened in shock, "I fell asleep." He concurred quietly. Looking over and finally acknowledging the other's presence. "I'm sorry Pegasus, I should've -"

"It's really late. Can't blame you - Two minutes in the car and it was lights out for me." He shrugged lightly. "It was a good nap." He winked lightly.

Kaiba looked ahead of him, a distant concern etched in his gaze despite the flush on his face. Pegasus noticed both but wasn't sure of their conflicted meaning. "Well, come on, I'll walk you to your room." He suggested and the two stepped out of the vehicle.

The ride up the elevator was a long and painfully silent one. Kaiba seemed so lost in thought, Pegasus thought that even if he were to strike up a conversation the other wouldn't have been paying attention long enough to care. As they exited and walked down the chilling hallway, no the chill was their doing… They stopped at Pegasus door. He slid the room key and with a 'beep' it opened.

Kaiba scratched the back of his neck and sighed, "Well I guess I'll talk to you later. Thanks for -"

Pegasus frowned. "Come in for a minute."

He looked up and slowly shook his head. "It's so late, I should head home."

Pegasus nodded. "It is late. So stay the night. The way you fell asleep like that, I'd feel responsible if something were to happen to you."

"Really I'll be fine." He kept on that annoying blush returning.

"No. Seto. Please. I want you to stay." He urged.

Kaiba thought on it for a moment. He didn't feel like debating with the other, it was late and he was very tired now.. "I guess there's no point in arguing with you. You're so stubborn." He mumbled with a roll of his eyes.

"The same could be said about you." He retorted lightly. "You want some coffee?" He asked as they entered the quiet room.

Kaiba sauntered over to the sofa and nodded, fighting off a yawn. "Yeah. Sounds great about now." He heard Pegasus moving around in the small area that acted as a sort of compact kitchen. 'Well, at least I can get our facts straightened out.' He leaned into the familiar cushioning and sighed softly. 'If I don't fall asleep first…'

His eyes had just closed when he felt Pegasus plop down beside him. "Thank you for driving. I feel bad about making you do so when you're as tired as I am."

Kaiba shook his head gently and tilted his head back and stared at the ceiling. "I wasn't tired until I pulled in here. When I'm driving, I'm usually too focused on everything around to notice if I'm sleepy or not. So don't feel bad over it." He replied throwing his right hand over his face.

Pegasus smirked. "So when's the next party? So we can plan it together again?"

The brunet turned his head to the left and stared at Pegasus' humorous expression, his eye twitching slightly, "We're not 'planning' another one together. It's their little group, one of them can do it."

"You shouldn't talk like that. They respect you a lot."

"Their too trusting for their own good. I've been nothing but a prick to them - the only one who has any sense is ironically the mutt." He explained. "They need to give up on me, I'm not their friend."

"You keep saying that. But we both know it isn't true." Before Kaiba had a chance to question his absurd reply, he jumped up, "Let me check on the coffee."

The brunet rolled his eyes again. A short while later Pegasus came back with a small tray holding two mugs of steaming coffee and the usual fixings. He set it down on the table before them. Kaiba leaned over and poured a couple of scoops of sugar into his and sighed as he took in the delicious aroma. It seemed to calm his nerves some, which was a good thing, he needed to be as calm as possible. "Pegasus, let's be serious for a moment. What do you want from me? Truly. What exactly are you looking for?" He asked setting his mug back on the tray.

"Haven't we gone over this?" He asked in masked arrogance.

"No. We haven't." Kaiba enlightened sitting up straight - abandoning his comfortable position for a more appropriate (and seemingly alert) one. "We've danced around the issue but it hasn't been thoroughly looked through."

Pegasus took a sip of his coffee and nodded with a slight shrug. "It's not a contract Seto." He uttered lightly but in every sense serious. He set his drink down and shared a stern gaze with the other. "It's a relationship. A strong one."

Kaiba swallowed deeply. It wasn't a business deal or binding contract; true. It was something altogether different and crippling. "What is your definition of a 'strong relationship'?"

"Definition?"

The brunet could shout over the clueless-ness of the other. Was he purposely being difficult? "Are we friends?"

"Yes." He answered with a stating-the-obvious tone.

Kaiba nodded. They were friends. He could learn to live with that, not a problem… Should he ask any further question? That would be too awkward and make both of them uneasy. How do you ask another man who has all indication of being straight, if he has romantic feelings towards you and if he'd ever consider sexual incentives with you? That would be completely inappropriate. Even if he were to say 'yes' to any of the unspoken questions, it wouldn't be a for sure thing. How could it? It's not like either one of them could tell the future. "Is that what you wanted to know?"

What was he thinking about? Pegasus had completely snapped him out of his spiraling tornado of unnerving angst. How Kaiba despised the wallowing depressions that sprouted from the teenaged years and never left. Was that all he wanted? He considered for a long moment before shrugging. "That's it." He replied with a nod. That simple. He was used to hiding his feelings from others anyway. Heck, he'd done it ever since his parents died. What difference would it make now? All he had to do - was work it off, like he used to do before he started frequenting the Silver Kira. It wasn't so bad then…

"Well, Okay then. I have a question for you." Pegasus said, interrupting his thoughts once again. And somehow a sense of dread found itself inside him. And the room felt so much smaller - quieter than before, though that was impossible… Well, Kaiba had suddenly held his breath, the look on the other's face was so unreadable but intense. It was unfair the way the other could do this to him, with the mere mention of a 'question' he wanted answered… "Do you want to be more than friends - like… lovers?"

And that was it. Simple indeed. What was that saying..? 'Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me'. Kaiba hated that old little chant. There was no truth to it. Him and Mokuba knew the painful extent 'words' held. It was strange, how he could feel so out of reach with himself in just a second - a blink of an eye… An exhale of breath. But to think his brain was idle; that for the simple question he had no answer was a false and ill-bidden thought. On the contrary, his mind was sending so many answers to him at once. Possible scenarios played out simultaneously in his mental eye, he was so lost on figuring out what to say, which outcome seemed the best - his confused blue ones completely broke away from Pegasus and stared off towards the coffee table in front of him (though its presence was of course unseen).

The older watched the other intently. 'He's completely beside himself with uncertainty. Maybe I shouldn't have been so forward. But it's what he wanted to 'straighten out', wasn't it?' He frowned as he watched, it seemed like such a long silence though it couldn't have been more than a handful or two of seconds… He leaned forward. He didn't much favor the lost expression on the brunet's face.

It wasn't a big deal. Though he hadn't counted on being asked himself, it wasn't a big deal. All he needed to do was… All he had to say was… This wasn't something to freak out about - so why was he?! 'What's wrong with me? Why am I - I feel like… like I'm scared.' His hands clenched tightly. His eyes widened at the realization. He was scared wasn't he? Of what though? What did he have to be scared of? His eyes shut closed. It'd been a very long, long time since he was... "I don't…" He mumbled unknowingly.

"Don't what?" His eyes opened warily, and he froze as the other's breath hit his lips. Pegasus was nearly on top of him, "You don't what?" He repeated as he cupped his face and kissed the brunet softly.

Pegasus opened the door and nodded to the perky hotel staff member. After handing the man an envelope with his tip, he pushed the cart the rest of the way in. He glanced at the brunet deeply asleep on that same old couch, he smiled faintly to himself. He'd already picked up their mugs from the night previous, still full of the coffee they didn't drink. The Duel Monsters' Creator walked over to his guest and gently stroked away the few brown strands that covered his unbothered face.

Pegasus knew what he had asked was unfair. As he thought about it, it seemed so obvious now, with the sun shining so calm and graceful through his open curtains. What could he have been thinking? It must have been the tiredness that made him ask such a thing. He'd disregarded sensitivity and sensibility. "How could I have you answer?" He whispered in regret, "No wonder you panicked."

His lingering fingers strayed down the brunet's bare neck and eventually shoulder. 'You've given yourself to men, that were gay, and although it seemed as no big deal… It created more than a few misgivings and distrusts - look at what happened when you thought River was… It seems so ridiculous and foolish to want something with me. Doesn't it?' He brought his hand back and with a last stare at his oh so peaceful sleep, gently woke him up. 'But hopefully after last night, you'll trust enough to give me one chance to prove… what the true definition of… 'love' … really is.' He brought his hand to his own lap as the brunet began waking. "Good morning." He greeted softly, unsure how the other would react.

Kaiba seemed quite aware of the situation. Thankfully, and he slowly sat up. Their shoulders touched, it's what caused the brunet to focus on him and acknowledge his soft welcoming to daybreak. "Good morning." He replied with a tone that belied an underlying sense of embarrassment. He cleared his throat, "I'm sorry for my erratic behavior last night." He added sincerely.

The older smiled with a shake of his head. "You have to apologize for everything?" He sighed. "You didn't do anything wrong."

"Pegasus."

"There's nothing to be-"

Kaiba's eyes flared a bit, "There was no reason to react so pathetically. You asked a simple question and I panicked." His blues dramatically crashed into a softer, less intense dulling emptiness, "Even though it was on my mind. The fact that you had asked it, was totally a surprise to me. I didn't see it coming and it," He looked away and nodded his head in a sort of mental understanding, somewhere inside of him he'd come to terms with a small part of his 'angst', "Unnerved me." He explained it as if it really were some problem. Did he still not understand, that feeling unnerved and scared was a basic human emotion?

The older sighed, "Well, I think we both have a little more insight into each other now." Kaiba said nothing. "So… Let's have some breakfast!" He exclaimed cheerily as he jumped from his place on the edge of the sofa. Kaiba groaned with the traditional roll of his eyes and fell back in familiar annoyance.

He was content on laying there, but Pegasus threw him his shirt, which made him blush in realization that his chest was bare, he quickly put it on and buttoned it up. He sat up listening to the other fixing the plates and coffee pot onto the table. Coffee sounded good… But no, he wasn't going to -- Pegasus, satisfied with his arrangement, turned his attention onto the stubborn CEO of Kaiba Corp.

"I'm not really hungry. I'm just eating because I'd rather not listen to your nonsense about the importance of breakfast." Kaiba reminded after being talked off the couch and to the cozy table by the exposed window.

"Well, if it gets you to eat, I don't care. All that matters is you're eating." He replied with that I'm-so-sticking-my-tongue-at-you tone. At least to Kaiba it seemed that way… And knowing Pegasus the way he did, he definitely was thinking the action.

He rolled his eyes. "Whatever."

The older pointed his finger at him, which was another way to get under the brunet's skin. "That rolling of the eyes thing has to stop. It's bad for your vision." He scolded.

Kaiba couldn't help but laugh at the absurd claim. "You're so full of it. It is not 'bad for my vision'." He instinctively rolled his eyes again.

"Yeah, you're right. Besides you're the type that probably rolls his eyes so often that if it did mess with eyesight, you'd be blind by now."

Kaiba quirked a brow at him and shook his head. "So, anyway, going to a less insane debate," He emphasized 'less' and 'insane', "What are your plans for today?" He asked.

Pegasus thought on it for a moment and then frowned as he checked his watch, which displayed the date in black English print. "I didn't realize the day… I have to flight to America tonight." He said quite upset.

The brunet shared the same disappointed demeanor but quickly pushed the feeling aside. "Does it have to do with your pending trial?"

"Yes. I'm afraid so."

Pegasus couldn't stand seeing him distraught, he wondered if it was similar to the way he felt a clutch in his chest as despair crossed his features. "I'm sorry to bring it up." He tried to keep a sincere sympathy on his face but he didn't want to simply 'sympathize', he wanted to comfort.

"It's not your fault." He looked back to his food.

"Well, going through this can't be an easy process and I'm sorry for not being able to help more." He took a sip of his prepared coffee. "I know it's a terrible ordeal and though I may not share sentiment in it, I know you have torn feelings when it comes to the specifics of what happened. But you did nothing wrong." His eyes softened and strengthened at once, "That I'm sure of. And you should be too. You're didn't murder those people. So don't feel guilty." He continued sternly.

Pegasus put his fork back on his plate and smiled. "There are several things that I'm grateful for in this world. But you don't know how thankful I am for gaining the judges approval to be here in Japan, and also to you for forgiving me as you have."

Kaiba smirked playfully and stuffed a mouthful of egg in his mouth. "You still going on about that? It was a long time ago Pegasus." He swallowed. "When you return to Japan, call me." He said that terrible pink shading his damn cheeks again.

"You'll be the first one." He promised.

They finished up and placed their empty plates back on the serving cart. "Well, I called for my ride. They weren't too far from here, so they'll be by in a few minutes." Kaiba ran his hands through his hair. Who knew how disheveled his locks were, he hadn't brushed it yet. "I guess I'll see you when you get back."

Pegasus walked him to the door and sighed. "Shouldn't be but a couple of days." He assured. Kaiba turned the knob and nodded.

The brunet scratched the back of his neck. "Maybe we can do something when you get back." The brunet would chide himself on sounding so pathetic. He felt like he was so desperate.

The older agreed with the question. "Oh of course. When I get back, and you're not backing out. No matter what." He said smiling earnestly.

"Yeah. Well I'll see you later." They exchanged a very deep look of… The expression was uncertain, but felt almost like something was supposed to happen, before the brunet finally disappeared beyond the now closed door.

Pegasus turned away from the door. There was an empty feeling nagging at him but he attempted to ignore it and found himself plopping onto the couch that he would claim as Seto's from there on out. He turned the TV on and numbly watched the news. As Kaiba rode the elevator down in a somber silence, he took out his phone and read the text messages sent from his secretary informing him of certain forms and reschedules awaiting him at work. - Pegasus drummed his unusually bored fingers on the armrest. Something was wrong. - Kaiba sent his phone to his pocket and entered the backseat of his ride. As he settled back against the leather seats, the thought that had been lurking finally came to light… Pegasus rolled his eyes and frustratingly pressed the red power button on his remote and shook his head. "Damn…"

"I should've kissed him." They said in their very far apart distances.

Kaiba spent the rest of his day at Kaiba Corporation filling out the daily dose of paperwork and maintenance. "Seto, I'm turning in for the day. You going to be here much longer?" Mokuba asked stretching his exhaustion. It was seldom that he spend more than four hours at a single time inside his brother's building but he didn't want to leave when his brother seemed rather quiet about the whole night with Pegasus. He'd only asked him when he first saw him, around ten in the morning, he gathered that he must've spent the night at the hotel, with Pegasus, and then gone home to shower and dress for work.

But the older of the two hadn't said anything other than they crashed as soon as the door was opened and that Pegasus would be leaving for America to attend some meetings and court dealings. "Not much longer, Mokuba. I should be out of here in the next hour or so." He replied rather calmly.

"Good." Mokuba smiled and relaxed in the chair across from his brother's desk. "Are you feeling better than earlier Seto?" He asked a bit nervously.

Kaiba stopped his rapid typing and looked over at his brother questionably. "Better?"

"You just seemed a little down before. That's all."

The brunet looked up to the ceiling as he recalled the hour he came rushing in. "Oh well, I suppose so. I was debating on something and I confirmed it several hours ago. So I guess I am feeling better than I was earlier." He nodded in reassurance. "I'm sorry for being so short with you Mokuba, you've been here all day with me and I haven't spoken to you once."

Mokuba held up his hands in fevor, "Seto, today was a rather busy day. I hadn't much time either to swing by and lounge around in your office. I'm just glad I was here and not with Jin because you definitely would've been swamped, huh?" He smiled gingerly.

Kaiba shared in the amusing tone. "Yes. You're right. So, I really appreciate your help today. So Mokuba, it's already nine in the evening, why don't you go find Jin or whoever and chill out somewhere. Go ahead, I'm almost done here."

Mokuba quirked a brow. "Are you sure that you're almost done here, or are you saying that 'you're almost done here'?"

Kaiba laughed at the tone. He wasn't surprised by Mokuba's disbelief, he used to tell him the little white lie back when he worked nonstop, so as to keep him from worrying. "I promise this time, I'm about ready to leave." Mokuba called a few friends and after a few more minutes said his byes and left.

And Kaiba kept his promise. He was closing up his office a fair forty minutes later. His eyes were of a pensive glare though, focused on nothing in particular as he descended and exited the elevator doors. By the time he made it to his car, he found himself finally able to relax his nerves and settle down. But they came up again as he turned the key and started the ignition, ironically he felt like seeing Pegasus right then and there but the older was probably in the air. 'Ten 'o' clock at night, he better be.' "No." He chided himself for trying to bail out. 'It has to be done eventually… Might as well do it now and et it all over with.' He pulled out and headed for the Silver Kira.