Ch. 35 Bella POV
"Last but not least we have Paul, a.k.a. baby carrot. He was sweet, buff, tan and easy on the eyes. Paul treated me good and we had fun together, until we started to fool around. I quickly came to the realization that a baby carrot was giving him a run for his money. I didn't mean to laugh at him, it just kinda slipped. Well needless to say after my laughing, something snapped and he lost his mind. He began leaving me hundreds of voicemails telling me off and trying to explain why his junk was fun sized. After being harassed about his cocktail wiener, one night I got drunk and forced Jake and my friend Angela to do a drive by and throw baby carrots on his front lawn screaming 'fuck you and your baby carrot'. Thank god he left me alone after that. I'm sure Emmett had something to do with it. I still see him around town now and then, even though he won't look me in the eye. He should feel lucky he didn't end up on a milk carton like James." I finally finish and all I hear after I come back to the present moment, I hear Edward's laugh coming from those sexy lips he's got.
I want to bite them.
After I finished my outburst on Bella dating history101, I had to wait for Edward to calm down his hysterics.
"Are you done? I hope you're laughing with me and not at me. I'm starting to get offended." I say giving him the bitch brow.
"I'm laughing with you schitzo, because my dating history is just as fucked up."
"Let's hear it E, spill it."