Disclaimer: Everything Twilight-related belongs to SM, you know the drill. Everything else mentioned belongs to their respective owners. I merely own the storyline. =]
JPOV
As the days passed I finally started to comprehend that Aden was now my son. True, he wasn't my son by blood and I planned to tell him all about it when he was older, but I would always love him as my own, no matter of his biological parentage. I had called my mother on the first evening to tell her everything and she had been just as ecstatic as me.
I was beyond thankful that Edward had come with me on this trip; his presence alone had helped me immensely to calm my nerves on our first day here. And in the following days he had also helped a lot by caring for Aden when I was out and about settling all official matters. But not everything had been as easy, the flat held many reminders of our brief time here together and when I had offered him the bed for the night on our first day, I hadn't even thoughts about how he might feel.
It had taken some prodding until he finally muttered that he didn't necessarily want to sleep in a bed that I had shared with Alyssa as well. I had felt like the world's biggest idiot for not even realizing my mistake until it was too late, yet I was thankful for his honesty all the same – how else could we put the past behind us and make a new future, hopefully together? Luckily Edward wasn't one to hold grudges and the atmosphere relaxed once more.
Every day I waited for the right moment to give Edward the present I had made for him before we left for Spain. I had been lucky to pick it up in time and couldn't wait to see his reaction, but the time had never seemed right so far. The small moments of quiet we shared hadn't lasted long enough before Aden woke, cried for his bottle or I had to leave again for another appointment.
I had taken over the funeral arrangements for Alyssa and her parents as there was nobody else to do it and while there was no love lost between Alyssa and me in past weeks, I found that Aden's mother and grandparents at least deserved a proper burial. Edward agreed with me and even promised to take care of Aden while I arranged everything but that had been as far as he was willing to go. For me that was more than enough, as I would've completely understood if he didn't want to hear a single word about it after what Alyssa did to him.
The time apart from Edward had also made me forget one little thing that I was now forcefully reminded of whenever saw him and Aden together – there was nothing sexier than when he took care of my son. Changing Aden's diapers, feeding him a bottle or humming him to sleep, it didn't matter what Edward did as it always resulted in me drooling after him. I almost felt like my 17 year old hormonal teenage-self who had his first crush ever on him.
For days I tiptoed around him and hoped he didn't notice my hormonal troubles as I didn't want to pressure him unnecessarily and whether he was terribly oblivious to everything happening around him or if he simply ignored it, I didn't know. Luckily the first option seemed very likely because remembering back to those teenager days, he hadn't ever noticed my crush on him either.
Daily my flat became emptier with Edward and I packing up all my belongings in every free minute we had. While there was no pressure to fly back home, Edward did have to get back to his university courses at some point. Two days before our scheduled flight, I attended Alyssa's and her parent's funeral which was a rather quite service with barely any people while once again Edward had agreed to babysit.
When the service was over, I felt a huge weight lift off my chest. I had logically known that nothing could take Aden away from me anymore but the burial had made everything seem more official. And regardless how bad these thoughts sounded even in my head; I was itching to go back to the States and start my new life with Aden and hopefully, at some point, Edward as well.
Entering the apartment, all the stress of the day fell of me when I was met by the most adorable view - Aden napping together with Edward on the couch; it was a scene I hoped to see more often in my future. I couldn't resist and quickly retrieved my camera to snap a picture of the two. Only once I'd taken the snapshot did I look around and found that Edward had packed most of the apartment. Only the furniture was still in place and exploring further, I found dozen boxes stacked in my bedroom. As it seemed, we would only need to pack everything into a container for over-sea-travel which was to be delivered tomorrow morning and after that we were ready for our flight home.
Beyond giddy by the thought of introducing Aden to my family and friends, I made my way back to the living room. It would soon be time to wake up my boys for what I had planned for the evening but for now I could busy myself by getting everything ready. I stocked Aden's stroller with nappies, juice, a few toys and two warm blanket before I moved to the kitchen and started to prepare a small picnic basket.
By the time I was done, it was late afternoon and time to leave if I wanted to follow through with my plan of watching one last sundown on a Spanish beach. I joined my boys in the living room and took another moment to enjoy the view of them napping together before, as if on cue, Aden started wriggling in Edward's arms until his sleepy, blue eyes opened. Disturbed by Aden's movements, Edward's eyes opened as well.
"Hi," he whispered, his voice still rough from sleeping and his green gaze fixed on me.
"Hi back," I smiled. "Let me fix Aden's bottle and then I'd like to take you both for a walk if you are up for it."
"Sure," Edward agreed easily, shifting into a sitting position with Aden still in his arms. "Where are we going?"
Searching for the right words, it took me a moment before I answered, "It's our last evening in Spain and I want to keep some positive memories of this place. I'd like to see the beach once more before we leave tomorrow."
With Edward's nod of agreement, I turned back to the kitchen and fixed Aden's bottle to bring it back to the living room where Edward handed me my little boy once I was seated comfortably.
"I'm going to freshen up a little while you feed Aden, then we can go," Edward told me after a moment of silence.
"Alright," I murmured just for the sake of saying something.
Being alone with Aden, I still marveled that nothing had changed about my feeling towards the little boy in my arms. At first I had worried that it would be hard to hold him and care for him after knowing that I wasn't his biological father. But now it seemed that my feelings were stronger than ever because I came so close to losing him.
With that, my thoughts turned to Edward and my present for him. It was incomprehensible to me why exactly I was this nervous to give him something that I already knew he would like. It was important though that he would understand the thoughts behind the present and I intended to do everything in my power to make those clear to him.
Aden's sudden squirming as the bottle had emptied broke me out of my thoughts and I started to walk Aden around the room until he burped. Meanwhile Edward joined us, now dressed in washed out jeans and a light green shirt and watched me change Aden's diaper.
"Are you ready to go?" I asked smiling.
And with Edward's nod we gathered our things and were on our way to the beach. The walk was relatively short and mostly filled with silence, although there was no awkwardness. There was a warm breeze as we made our way to a more excluded spot, a little bay close to the water and mostly hidden by rocks.
I lay the big blanket down while Edward freed Aden from his buggy and sat with him on the blanket spreading toys for them to play with. Taking the picnic basket I had packed earlier, I sat down with my boys and couldn't care less about the big, goofy grin that, without a doubt, stretched over my face; seeing Edward care for Aden in such a loving, natural way, made me feel all warm and fuzzy all over again.
After watching them play for a while, I started to unpack several sandwiches, cut fruits and two beers. The smile I received from Edward, for fixing us a picnic, almost erased all my troubled thoughts from the da; it seemed like we finally had reached a level where we could be comfortable around each other again.
Chatting for a while with Edward about light topic such as school and my applications, I finally gathered enough courage to get the present from the basket. Seeing Aden doze off, I took my chance. Smiling slightly, I put the present in my lap and tried to sort my thought before I started talking, "As you can see I've got you a little something and I put a lot of thought into it over the past weeks. I can't seem to find the right words to tell you how grateful I am that you here with me at the moment despite everything that happened between us."
Taking a deep breath, I handed him the package and continued talking, "Go ahead, and open it."
I couldn't decide if I would rather see Edward's reaction or not and finally settled on watching his fingers slide under the silver wrapping paper, pulling it aside until the green leather bound book appeared. Scraping together the last of my courage, I lifted my eyes to his face just in time to see his eyes light with wonder as he read the inscription on the front; Frozen Moments by Edward Cullen.
Catching the movement of Edward's hand in the corner of my eye, I watched him thumb through the book while started to explain quietly, "You once told me that I inspire your songs since you can think and not only do I love your compositions but I also wanted to show you how much our history matters to me. All the years of friendship and especially the short time being your lover, I wouldn't want to miss any of it; the good and the bad. This book symbolizes, for me, our journey together."
Turning towards me, I was Edward's eyes were glistening with tears. "Please say something," I pleaded nervously.
"Wow, I... don't know what to say," he murmured, "Just wow."
"You like it then?" I asked quietly, the insecurity still audible in my voice.
"Don't be stupid, Jasper… I absolutely love it."
Feeling the anxiety fall away, I relaxed at last and smiled hugely at him. "I'm really happy then. Esme and Carlisle helped me a lot as they found most of your older compositions."
"I'm not sure if a simple thank you is enough," Edward said, smiling broadly. "But thank you so much, these really mean a lot to me."
Smiling back, I answered, "As they do for me. It seems like a recollection of our time together, a time I never want to end. And I want to apologize once more for being stupid enough to ruin it all."
"Please stop apologizing… I've already accepted all your apologies," he whispered and took my hand which doubled my heart rate. "It was not only your fault and it's in the past now. I want to look forward and while I'm nowhere near ready to be lovers again, I can't imagine a life without you, or Aden for that matter."
Smiling hugely I squeezed his hand as the relief swept over me. "That's more than I dared to hope, especially with Daniel in the picture."
"Then you might be happy to hear that Daniel and I decided we would be better off as friends," Edward told me. "Actually he nudged me I the right direction."
Hearing Edward's words, my hope swelled even more and there was a burst of gratitude towards Daniel as well. I hardly knew him, but another man would've tried to win over Edward, no matter the cost.
Overwhelmed by my feelings and lost for words, I sat quietly for a moment and watched the sun disappear behind the ocean, bathing the sky in pink and orange hues. It was a beautiful sight but couldn't even begin to compare to the feeling of Edward holding my hand. It was such a simple thing but it meant the world to me at this very moment.
Edward, too, sat quietly and let me work through the turmoil of my feelings, he seemed to understand me without words and I was beyond thankful to have him here, at my side. After sun had disappeared completely, he started talking once more, "I've been thinking the past days we've been here and with every day it feels more right to ask you." Pausing he turned his to look at me. "You know that I've got two guest rooms… we could turn one into your room and one into Aden's. I know that your mom would help you with him while you go to school but…"
"Edward," I interrupted. "Stop talking and let me answer because I would really like that."
"Really?"
The surprise in voice evoked a loud laugh from me. "Of course, seriously what's not to like?"
"We aren't moving too fast, are we?" he backpedalled. "I just don't want to put too much pressure on you."
Shaking my head lightly, I answered, "Don't worry, I get it. I mean… I'll have my own room, what's not to get? We can still take our time and grow closer again before taking the next step."
And with that cleared, we settled into easier topics for the rest of the night. Every now and then I caught Edward looking at the book with his compositions, the awe still etched in his face while I silently contemplated what else I could do to show Edward how much he meant to me.
The evening was over too soon and even though I felt a little sad about that, the happiness and hope of the successful gift overpowered everything else. At home we said our good night and I tucked Aden in his crib before I went to bed as well.
The next morning brought the expected stress of last minute arrangements like piling all my belongings into a container to be shipped to Seattle while looking after Aden. My feelings about leaving Spain behind were mixed. On one hand there were many bad memories here like Alyssa's lies, Juan, my break up with Edward and ultimately Alyssa's death but on the other hand, there was Aden and many good memories about the little family Aden, Edward and I had become; already before the break-up and of course now there hope for the future.
By the time everything was packed and the container was dispatched, it was also almost time for us to make our way to the airport. I was a little skeptical about Aden's first flight but Edward managed to keep me mostly calm; at least the cab ride went without any problems.
One thing I wasn't prepared for was the enormous relief I felt when the plane took off in Spain. I realized that I could leave the bad memories behind but take the good ones with me and built more of them in Seattle. The past was just that, the past. I couldn't change it and I finally accepted that. I left behind the guilt and looked forward into the future, a quite possible and very bright future.
As it turned out, I didn't have to worry about Aden. He acted like a twelve hour flight was something he'd done a dozen times; he slept calmly through some minor turbulence, demanded his bottle and our attention once he was awake and was basically the poster infant for plane travelling. He probably wouldn't have minded being on the plane for another couple of hours but I was immensely grateful when the plane finally touched down in Seattle.
After claiming our luggage, we stood in front of the airport to hail down a cab. Edward was at my side his hand in mine while I carried Aden and for the first time in a long while I felt truly settled and at home.
AN:
So, what do you think? Do you like the present?
I realize it's been a long while since the last update, I apologize. Also this chapter isn't beta'd yet, since real life comes before FF and my beta's RL is busy :P. So again, I apologize for the mistakes I made. Feel free to point them out and I'll fix them, otherwise, I'll replace this with a beta'd version later on.
Thanks for all the PMs, alerts and reviews (which I suck at answering)! I loved each and promise you that this story will be finished (There's not so much left of it anyway ;)).
The next chapter will be there hopefully sooner, but I can't promise anything.
Take care,
Sanny