Chapter Thirty-Six: Without a Farewell

To everyone's shock, Harry was still alive two days later. If what he was could be called living— he was clearly on his way out, and expected to die very soon. In the morning, Enna snuck away from her room and to where they had tucked Harry away. He was barely breathing, and no matter how warm they made the room, he wouldn't stop shivering. Any visitors broke into a sweat within minutes of being in his room, it was so hot. Harry himself felt a rather normal temperature to the touch, which of course for him was dangerously low.

Enna sat on the edge of the bed, and draped herself over him, close to crying again. This was the first time she'd caught him alone, and even though she didn't know whether or not he could hear her, she had her own goodbyes to say.

"I'm sorry for yelling at you, Harry," she whispered. "You're right. I should have listened to what you had to say… I was just so angry at the time—" she backpedaled, "Well forget about that now. I wish you weren't dying, maybe we could have sorted it all out… maybe." She sighed. "I love you still, I always will."

He didn't react to her words; she couldn't tell if he was even breathing anymore.

The door opened behind her slowly, she turned to see some of the others come to see him. It was Ren, the Hand, Ron and Hermione.

"Um, is he still alive?" Gray asked.

Enna got to her feet, and laid a hand on his forehead, not reaching to heal, but sensing. Under her hand, his life force was flickering. "It's happening," she told them. "He's finally dying."

"He was strong, wasn't he?" Ren asked. "He held on a lot longer than any of the others ever did."

Vosenn nodded. She hadn't been around much, she felt directly responsible for Harry's condition. Everyone else had forgiven her by now. She had been only following her training, and the circumstances. If it was anybody's fault it was the teachers at the Academy, or more likely Aeyris. They all felt bitterly about the Queen's involvement. If she had kept her cool, it would never have happened.

"Goodbye, Harry," Enna whispered, stepping back and taking Sariah's hand. They stood over him solemnly, helpless and heartbroken.

They blinked. It was becoming hard to see Harry; there was some kind of haze between them.

In front of the bed, a swirl of smoke was rising. It rose higher, into the height and shape of a person. It condensed. In front of them stood a young woman, where there had been nothing a moment before.

The young woman's looks left them frozen. She was less eerily beautiful then she was beautifully eerie. Each lock of hair seemed to be made of a different color, a range of golds and reds. Her skin was a flawless, with more than enough of it showing to tell. Her top was two pieces of metal fashioned like armor that barely covered her breasts, held on by thin chains, and her skirt was made of chain mail with slits up to her waist on both sides.

She ignored them, turning her back to them. She took a corner of the blanket and deftly flipped it back, then swung a leg over Harry, straddling him. She put a hand on each of his shoulders and they watched in amazement as his shivering suddenly ceased.

The woman leaned forward and touched her lips to Harry's in a kiss. There was a spark of light where their lips met. Wrapping one hand behind his head and one around his shoulder, she pulled Harry up toward herself and kissed him deeply, passionately. As she let go, Harry suddenly gasped, taking in a deep breath of air, eyes fluttering open.

The deadly gorgeous woman in armor looked to those watching with eyes blood red, smiled a wicked, mischievous smile, and winked. Then she disappeared into a curl of smoke and was gone.

Harry was sitting up, smoothing hair back from his face and taking deep breaths.

Enna stepped forward and lightly touched him. "He's not dying anymore!" she exclaimed.

"The flame is relit," Harry confirmed tiredly, the first words he'd spoken since it had been put out.

"How?" Vosenn said incredulously.

"Harry, who was that!" Jon asked, shaking his head.

"Who was she?" Ren repeated.

Harry looked at them seriously. "The only ones capable of relighting Wrath's flame would be Wrath himself… or maybe his daughter." They looked at him questioningly. "That was Lush, daughter of Wrath and the Sun Goddess… the Goddess of Desire."

They stared at where she had been standing.

"A Goddess!" Sariah breathed in awe.

"Harry…" Ron began to say, and trailed off.

"Harry is that who… the one that…" Gray didn't know how to finish the question either.

Harry nodded, and they gasped.

"The Goddess of Desire!" Vosenn demanded. "Really, Harry?"

Enna was looking withdrawn. "No wonder," she murmured. "She was stunning…"

"I didn't have much of a choice about it," Harry told them. "You might have been able to tell… she doesn't take no for an answer. I don't remember most of it, honestly."

"You had sex with the Goddess of Desire," Gray repeated, also incredulous.

"And she basically brought you back from the dead," Hermione said. "You would have died if she hadn't shown up right then."

"Harry," Vosenn asked again. "Where were you after you caught the sun-sickness?"

They fell silent, anxiously waiting to hear.

"Sun-sickness is actually a call from the Gods," Harry explained. "They call the most powerful Cursed to live among them."

"Meaning you," Vosenn said, sounding proud.

"Yes," Harry said, "The call is very strong, if we can't escape and fly there, we kill ourselves which will get us there as well, once we're called. So… the time I was gone I was at Sky's End, the home of the Gods."

"Where you meant her," Jon stated. He was begging to sound envious.

Harry was getting drowsy, clearly he wasn't fully recovered. He needed a little more time. "I need to sleep," he told them. He kicked the blankets off the bed. "You can put out the fire," he told them, eyes closing, falling into restorative sleep. Gray extinguished the magical fire with his casting stone.

"To live in the home of the Gods…" Hermione whispered in awe as they left.

Everyone immediately huddled about to discuss what they had seen, and marvel, but not Enna. She had the sudden need to be alone, and ran back to her room as fast as she had run from it that morning and to Harry's side.

She threw herself on her bed, taking huge breaths and trying not to cry.

She was so beautiful, Enna thought. On one hand, she had just had to face her rival and didn't think she could compare, but on the other hand she had just found out that Harry hadn't wanted to be with this… Lush and couldn't even remember most of it.

Enna was interrupted in her thoughts with the realization that someone was in her room, just a couple feet away, and drew back in surprise.

It was the Goddess, Lush, just as they had seen her before. She was casually seated high on a stone shelf, long legs crossed. "Hello," she said, with a slight smile on her face. "So you're the one he loves."

Enna gaped at her. "What are you doing here?" she demanded.

"I only want to talk," Lush said in her silky voice.

"What is there to say?" Enna asked resignedly.

"Lots…" Lush said, throwing her hands up. She leapt gracefully down and landed on her feet. Enna stood up too, and they faced each other. "I've made a big mistake," Lush revealed.

Enna waited expectantly, curious.

"I tried to tear you and Harry apart…" Lush explained. "I wanted him for myself; you better than anyone can understand why. But he loves you, and he will probably never forgive me for what I've done. Saving his life was the best apology I could come up with."

Enna was struck with a thought. "You saved him… now he can be with me."

Lush nodded. "Yes."

"Why?"

Lush just smiled mysteriously in response. "I came to apologize and explain. I broke your bond on purpose. Harry had no choice. In all honesty, it wouldn't have worked unless he was actually attracted to me, unless part of him wanted it. You saw how I revived Wrath's flame just now. I did the same thing then, making it flare up so that he was reduced to a primal state… in which he had no objections. He was quite enthusiastic, actually." Lush caught a glimpse of the look on Enna's face and stopped.

"You're terrible at apologizing," Enna told her.

"I've never had to do it before," Lush explained.

"Ever?" Enna asked, realizing the Goddess was serious.

"Ever," Lush repeated. "There is only one way for the bond I broke to be repaired… not even the Goddess of Love, who made it in the first place, could fix it for you now," Lush said softly. "You would have to forgive him… completely and entirely." She looked at Enna speculatively. "If you can do that, then you're a more remarkable mortal than I thought. If you can do that, you might even be worthy of him…"

Without a farewell Lush then disappeared and Enna stood alone.

At first Harry slept peacefully, but after a time he began to dream. His near death experience must have brought him closer to his demi-god side, because it was similar to his dream at Sky's End. The anxious voices pleaded to him, only this time he could understand them. He listened to one after another, and instead of becoming anxious like them he became angry. They were miserable and very lonely, and they only wanted help.

I'll help you… Harry promised silently, wondering if they could hear him. You are not alone.

He didn't know how long he had slept, but when he went into the next room he saw several of his friends still there, no doubt waiting for him to wake up so that they could ask more questions. It was Vosenn, Jon, and Gray.

"Are you well enough to be up?" Vosenn asked worriedly.

"I'm fine," Harry said, "Back to perfect health."

Gray grinned. "You had us worried, Harry. You have no idea how relieved we are that you survived."

"I'm so sorry Harry—" Vosenn began to say.

"Don't," Harry said, cutting her off. "It clarified something very important for me. After all, here I am, no harm done, right?"

"I suppose not…" Vosenn said, confused.

"Has Madalena explained the new reinforcements to you?" Harry asked Gray, who nodded. "Is everyone safe here?"

"As safe as they're going to be anywhere," Gray said. "As far as we know, nobody could get in, or even know we're here."

"I need to leave," Harry said. "Tell Enna I love her and that I'll come back."

"Wait," Jon said. "Where are you going?"

He said it too late, because Harry had disappeared.

"He ported out," Gray said with surprise.

"He could have gone anywhere," Vosenn realized.

Harry materialized on a small platform at the end of the sky, standing in front of an ancient door. It was night.

Over time this place had been becoming surreal to him… had he actually been here? The normalness of Origin's surface and his friends had been eclipsing its reality. How could they both exist?

Yet here he was again, and the door was opening as if it wanted him to step through. Through it he stepped, crossing the weathered store floor and the dark glass Eye, heading for Dark Eye's dark blue door. As he reached it he hesitated, and on a whim he turned and followed the circle until reaching the door with the sun on it. It didn't open on it's own like the other doors, so he pushed.

The room inside wasn't brightly gleaming as it had last time he was here. The lights were low, the corners were filled with shadows, and the arrogant Sun Goddess was nowhere to be seen. It is nighttime, after all, Harry thought.

However there was someone on the throne. Lush was slumped there, not sitting straight and proud as her mother had but sideways, with her legs over one armrest and her elbows resting on the other. She didn't look up when Harry entered.

Harry stood there silently… he hadn't intended on coming to her, and he hadn't thought he would find her so readily. He had no words planned to say. But he had lots of questions.

"How did you know to come?" Harry asked.

"I was watching you in the Eye."

"But you can't do that unless…" Harry protested.

"Unless I really loved you?" Lush finished calmly. "Yes."

Harry shook his head.

"Yes," Lush repeated, looking at him with soft red eyes. "I've been watching you for a long time. I've been so lonely, Harry, and I was so sure we were meant to be together… we would be magnificent together. I saw your mother looking down on you once, and I fell in love with you. From then on I watched you myself. I saw your relationship with the mortal, and your bond, and I thought it was all wrong. I thought it was a trap, I thought it was wrapping up your mind and your amazing power and tying it to a mortal. You didn't know what you really were, and I thought you would understand once you knew. So the first opportunity that came up I had my mother call you here, and would have explained things to you if your grandmother hadn't noticed and made me bring you to her. She's one of the Great Gods," Lush explained, "And you belonged more to her than to me. I couldn't refuse."

"You took me from my friends," Harry told her.

"They were mortals; I didn't think much of it." Lush shrugged and continued. "So then when you were so fixated on returning to your mortal love, I thought that it was only the bond you had kept you tied to her, that it clouded your thoughts. I decided I had to break it… I thought I was rescuing you."

Harry shook his head. "You raped me."

"Harry it wouldn't have happened if you didn't want it too," Lush reasoned. "I couldn't have made you do anything you didn't want to do."

"But you didn't give me a chance to refuse," he countered.

"That is true." Lush nodded. "I thought that I was freeing you. You were angry, but I figured you would get over it once you understood that I had only been trying to help."

Harry shook his head. "No. You were so arrogant to think you were right. You were so selfish to think you could do whatever you wished."

"Don't you think I see that now?" Lush asked him. "I broke the bond, and you still loved her! You took off at first opportunity. I saw how sad you were when you returned to her, and nothing was the same… how much you wanted her back."

"Fine," Harry said. "So you wanted me to be with you… but then why did you save my life? I wouldn't have gone on as mortals do when they die, I would have come right here to Sky's End and I wouldn't have been able to stay out of your way."

"You still don't understand," Lush repeated. "I DO love you. I love you more than I love myself. If you really want to stay alive, be mortal and stay with that girl, and if I'm the only one around to rescue you, I'm going to do so!"

Harry was taken aback. "Oh."

"And maybe it was my way of apologizing to you. I don't expect you to forgive me any time soon but…" She looked directly into his eyes. "Mortals aren't forever, Harry. But I have forever to wait for you. I'll be here."

Seeing her was giving him a sudden flashback… He had thrown her on the bed, and began to tear off her clothes. She laughed, thrilled, and fought back in the spirit of it, biting and kissing the sides of his neck as he pushed her down… he could feel the touch of her soft skin…

At these final words Harry turned and quickly left, fleeing from the memories, uncomfortable with the thoughts he was facing. Forever is a long time. What will I do if I lose Enna? Does Lush really love me enough to let me go?

In the center room he glanced at his mother's door, wishing he could go there next and knowing how pleased she would be to see him. But he had important things to attend to first.

He stepped through the dark blue door, crossed the entrance room. He winced a moment to see the Storm Leader's door with the feather on it— he couldn't imagine himself ever being comfortable there, after what had happened in that room.

Harry touched Dark Eyes door, and a deep ringing sound resounded in his ears. The door paused, and then opened slowly.

Dark Eyes himself was standing at the window, by the millions of brilliant stars. He turned to watch his grandson enter.

"You're back," Dark Eyes said.

Harry took in a deep breath, intimidated but determined. "Yes. I've been having dreams."

"What kind of dreams?" A smile touched Dark Eye's mouth.

"Dreams of people talking to me, all of them sad," Harry told him. "And today I realized who they are."

Dark Eyes looked at him expectantly.

"They're all portal guides," Harry said.

Dark Eyes nodded. "I think you came here for the same thing that I realized when you were last standing in this room." He gestured for Harry to come nearer, and Harry joined him at the window. "The portal guides have been lonely since the beginning of their very existence," Dark Eyes continued. "They have no hope to ever be free from oppression and misery. When you stood here, glowing, with those black wings of yours, I realized that you must be the God they've been waiting for. They deserve to have one. None of them deserve to be Cursed any longer."

Harry nodded. "The people trained to take care of them are also trained to kill them. It ends now, Grandfather."

"What do you propose to do about it?" Dark Eyes asked, looking at Harry thoughtfully with his ink black eyes.

Harry smiled wryly. "Well, that's why I'm here. I need your help… I have some ideas, but I don't know how they would work."

"Take a seat," Dark Eyes offered, and Harry saw a second chair had appeared by the fire. They went to sit together and plan.