Ch 34

Nathan walked into early morning practice on Monday dragging his feet. It had been a long weekend without enough sleep and the last thing he felt like doing was suicides at 6 am.

"Hey Nate," Lucas said, walking over to his brother in the locker room. "How is she?"

Nathan paused for moment, getting his shorts and sleeveless shirt out of his bag to give himself time to decide how much to tell his brother. He knew Lucas was also Haley's best friend, but there was a line where some things that she didn't mind her husband knowing, she would be embarrassed for her friend/brother-in-law to find out. "She's as good as can be expected. Actually, I think maybe she's doing better than I am. She's planning on coming to school today and I'm terrified, especially since I'll be in Wilmington most of the day."

"What about the nightmares? Is she getting any sleep?" Lucas asked. He still hadn't talked to his friend yet since the incident on Friday but he'd been getting updates from his brother.

"Last night was better, she only woke up once, but she's still jumpy. Yesterday, Cooper accidentally surprised her and she threw out a punch at his face. Lucky for him he has those racing reflexes or he would've had a bloody nose," Nathan told him. "Honestly, I don't think she's ready to be out again, but she swears she isn't letting what happened continue to affect her life. She said if she stays home and cowers then he wins. I prefer to think of it as if she stays home, she's safe."

"She's not a little kid Nate, she can make her own decisions. You can't keep her locked away from the world," Lucas said.

"I know that...I do...but she's been through so much lately and all of it on top of being pregnant and the strain that takes on her body and her emotions. She was a wreck on Saturday and I know she's improved a lot since then, but I can't help wondering when it's going to be too much." Nathan told him, running his hand through his hair.

"You know, you've been through a lot too," Lucas pointed out. "Honestly, just thinking about what you two have dealt with the last couple of years makes my head hurt."

"I can take it," Nathan shrugged. "If there is one good thing to come out of living with Dan for 16 years, it's how to take whatever get's thrown at you. No matter how miserable I was, I can honestly say it made me stronger."

"Haley's pretty tough too," Lucas pointed out.

"I know Haley's amazingly strong, but everyone has a breaking point. She keeps blaming herself because she antagonized him...or at least that's how she put it. I think maybe that's one of the hardest things for her is believing it's her fault. I tried to tell her he was just crazy and it wouldn't have made a difference, but she won't listen. I guess I sort of understand where she's coming from, I blame myself too even though logically I couldn't have known he would do something like that," Nathan said. "I don't know what else to do for her."

"It sounds like you're doing everything you can," Lucas told him. "I wish she'd let me help, but if she only wants you then it's because she trusts you and knows you are what she needs. Just keep being there for her.

Nathan nodded as he took of his shoes and then his pants, folding them and putting them in his locker.

"Speaking of crazy, what was up with him? I mean, he was an ass last time we played and you told me some stuff he pulled at High Flyers, but I always thought he was just a jerk. I never would have thought he was dangerous," Lucas admitted.

"I was actually thinking about that while I was trying to watch over her. I wouldn't have thought he'd do something like that either," Nathan agreed, "but looking back he seemed really agitated all night. Not cocky like he usually is, but angry and maybe even scared. I actually wondered if he was on drugs or something."

"I don't know," Lucas said, pondering that thought, "but whatever it was, it wasn't normal, even for Damien West. There was definitely something more going on with him being upset about losing the game."

"I think I want to run this by Dad and see what he thinks since he was there too," Nathan told his brother.

"So you still think he's changed?" Lucas asked. "He certainly hasn't been as much of a dick at least."

"I don't know what I would have done without his help," Nathan told him. "He's really been there for us the last month or so. I never thought I'd be able to say this, but this is what I always imagined having a real dad felt like. I just wish we hadn't had to go through all the crap it took to get us here."

Nathan quickly changed his shirt and slid his wedding ring off and onto the chain he used to keep track of it during basketball. He hated that he was going to be away from Haley for most of the day. "Hey Luke," he asked, "take care of her for me, okay? No matter what she says, she's not fine and I don't want anything to upset her."

"You don't even have to ask," his brother responded, slapping him on the back as they both laced up their shoes.

Nathan winced at the contact.

"Are you okay?" Lucas asked, noticing the discomfort.

"I'm fine, just still sore from the game the other night," Nathan told him.

"I saw the bruised hand and cheek, but I didn't think anything of what happened in the game. That was a pretty bad fall you took," Lucas said. "Did you ever go have it checked out?"

"When?" Nathan asked, "while my wife was being attacked or the next day while she was holding onto me so tight I didn't think she was even going to let me go to the bathroom by myself?"

"I didn't mean..."

"I know. ..I'm sorry I snapped," Nathan said, sitting down and resting his elbows on his knees. "I'm sore and worried and exhausted and now I've got practice and then I get to go spend at least an hour with a shrink trying to prod my innermost thoughts. It's not exactly shaping up to be a great day."

"You could have skipped practice," Lucas pointed out, "Whitey would understand. He loves Haley. He was really upset when he heard what happened."

"I know, but basketball is the one thing that might be able to distract me from what's going on for a while. Everything else fades when I'm on the court and it's just me and the game. I need that break right now," Nathan explained. No matter what was going on in his life, basketball was where he could escape from real life and not think or worry about anything else. It had been his only salvation until Haley had come into this life.

They made their way to the court and ran their warm-up laps before sitting down to stretch. Whitey walked out of the locker room and greeted them, "All right, enough relaxing. We've got less than 2 weeks until we play Pontiac in the State Championship. I don't know about you, but I didn't come all this way to blow it...again."

Whitey had the guys run through their inbound plays several times before he blew the whistle and set up a scrimmage portion. "Lucas, your team are shirts, Nathan, your squad will be skins. Now strip," he joked.

"Why do we always have to be skins?" Nathan asked, surprising his teammates.

"I thought you liked showing off for the girls," Coach teased him. "Are you getting shy on me?"

"No," Nathan shrugged, "just not feeling it today."

"Then suck it up and take it off Scott," Coach Durham said.

Nathan took his shirt off and tossed it to the side, hearing a few gasps from his teammates as he turned, exposing the huge black and blue bruise on the upper left portion of his back "All right, change of plans, each of you shoot 10 free throws, Nate, get over here."

"I promise it isn't nearly as bad as it looks," he said as soon as he arrived at his coach's side.

"Well that's good, because it looks like you got hit by a car. Why didn't you say something?" Whitey asked in concern.

"Because I want to practice and I knew you'd probably freak out," Nathan admitted.

"I don't freak out," Whitey argued, "but I'm certainly concerned. That's a pretty nasty bruise."

"It's just sore, nothing worse than I've played with before," Nathan said, shrugging it off. "It's not a big deal."

Whitey nodded, cautiously accepting his explanation. The trainer had warned there would be some bruising, he just wasn't expecting it to be that extreme. "Alright, enough about you. How's your better half?"

Haley walked into the kitchen to find Deb there making breakfast. "There are blueberry muffins fresh from the oven and I was making omelets if you want one."

"I'd love one," Haley said, taking a seat at the island and peeling the wrapper off her muffin before popping a piece of it in her mouth. "Mmm, I'm starving."

"How are you feeling?" Deb asked as she finished up the cooking.

"I'm okay," the younger girl said after a minute. "I mean, it's not like he really did anything other than push me up against the wall so I should be over it, right?"

"Oh honey," Deb said, turning off the stove and scooping out the food onto plates. "Is that what you think?"

"I mean, isn't that true?" Haley nodded as she reached for her fork. "A lot of people go through so much worse..."

"That doesn't make what you went through any less difficult or traumatizing. You didn't know that's all that would end up happening and I'm sure you were worried about your baby too. The fact that Nathan got there in time doesn't change how it felt while it was happening."

"I feel like I'm just being a baby," Haley said, a few tears leaking from her eyes. "I mean, I was lucky right?"

"I was mugged once," Deb told her, seeing the shocked look on her daughter in law's face she continued, "It was several years ago when I was in Chicago on business. He held me at gunpoint and dragged me into an alley before he took my purse and jewelry. The police told me that I was lucky that's all he did, but believe me, I didn't feel lucky. I felt violated. It was a long time before I felt comfortable walking down city streets alone, even here in Tree Hill."

"I feel like I need to get out there though, like if I stay home then I'm hiding and he wins," Haley admitted, tugging on the long sleeves of her high neck sweater. Her bruises were even more pronounced today and she had wanted to make sure they were totally covered.

"It's not about who wins or loses sweetie," Deb told her, grabbing her hands with her own. "It's about what makes you the most comfortable, what feels the best for you. If you think you should go to school, then go. If you are still scared and don't feel ready, then stay home. Don't let thoughts of what you think you should do or what other people will say make the decision for you. You're the only one that has to live it."

"Nathan said something similar," Haley admitted, "I just want to stop thinking about it. I want to get back to my life and put it behind me."

"Sounds reasonable," Deb said. "I know how strong you are, but I also know that sometimes things like this cause reactions even the toughest of us can't control."

"What if I can't handle it, what if I freak out in front of everyone?" Haley asked. "I don't want to make a fool out of myself."

"I know Nathan won't be there with you today, but you'll still have a lot of people that care about you and will be there if you need them," Deb reminded her. "But either way, just do what you think is best for you."

"Thank you Deb," Haley said, leaning forward and giving the older woman a hug.

"Mom," Deb chided her.

"Mom," Haley smiled. "It's really nice to talk to someone who can appreciate what I'm dealing with. Nathan has been wonderful and I'm so lucky to have him, but he's a big strong guy. He doesn't really understand."

"When it happened," Deb told her, "I didn't even tell Dan. He wouldn't have been there for me the way that Nathan has been for you. He would have raged and called the cops to yell at them and made it all about himself. It was easier just to keep it a secret, but I had a friend who had been through something similar and she helped me, just the way I hope I'm helping you."

"You are helping," Haley said, "it's kind of funny really. When Nathan and I were dating, you guys were going through all these problems and I couldn't imagine what it was like to have a family that was so distant and disconnected with each other. Now, we're living here with you and Cooper, Dan has been great lately, and Lucas and Nathan are as close as two brothers who knew each other their whole lives. In contrast, my family is scattered all over the East Coast and I've only talked to my parents once since our wedding, which they didn't even come to. I guess I just never would have predicted this complete reversal. I never thought my parents would leave before I even graduated."

"Parents make mistakes sometimes, believe me I could write a book on it. I'm sure they still love you though," Deb said. "They've just let themselves get too caught up in what they are doing and where they're going to worry about what they left behind."

"I just wish they thought to at least check on me more. Most of the time I can't even get hold of them so I have to wait until they call me. I really could have used some mother-daughter talks this past year."

"Well hopefully they'll come around, but in the meantime, you have me and you can talk to me about anything," Deb told her. "I told you before, I consider you my daughter and I will do anything I can to be there for you, all three of you. Karen would too. You can lean on us."

Haley wiped the tears from the corner of her eyes and gave Deb another hug. "I guess I need to get going," she said, taking a deep breath and then exhaling. "I've got school and Brooke will be here any minute."

"It's good to see you Nathan," Dr. Stevens said as Nathan walked into the room, taking a seat on the couch. He gestured to his face, "It looks like you've had a rough time since I saw you last."

"Someone attacked my wife and I beat the crap out of him," Nathan responded curtly.

The doctor was taken aback by the matter of fact statement. "Would you like to talk about it?"

"Not really," Nathan answered. "I'm actually pretty sick of talking about it. There isn't anything I can do to make it go away."

"Is she okay? Your wife?" the therapist asked.

"She will be," Nathan answered again, "Look, I know you're just doing your job, but can we skip this part? I really don't want to talk about what happened or even think about it right now."

"It might help," the doctor pointed out.

"It might," Nathan agreed, "but I still don't want to. I just want to get this over with."

"Okay, if that's what you want. The first thing we need to do is to get you to relax and calm down which might not be easy with how agitated you are right now," Dr. Stevens said.

"I can do that," Nathan told him. "I've been training to play professional basketball since I was 3. One of the main things you have to be able to do to play on the level I have is to shut out the rest of the world and focus. To calm yourself and not let anything, the crowd, the other players, what's going on in your life, affect you." He closed his eyes for a couple minutes and calmed himself, pushing everything else aside for the time being.

"Okay, I'm officially impressed," Dr Stevens said, surprised at how quickly the young man had been able to ready himself. "Let's get started."

"I'm so happy to see you Hales," Lucas said as he hugged his best friend as soon as she approached her locker. Nathan was right, other than an extra guardedness, you couldn't tell anything had ever happened to her. She was quite good at hiding how she was feeling from other people. Knowing she would be skittish, he had chosen to wait there for Brooke to bring her to him and then he planned to walk her to class. "I'm really glad you're okay."

"Me too," Haley said, biting her lip. "I'm sorry about..."

"No," Lucas cut her off, "you have nothing to be sorry for. Don't you worry about it for a second."

"Hi boyfriend," Brooke said, stepping up behind him after going to her own locker.

"Hi pretty girl," he responded, turning around and kissing her. "You look especially gorgeous today."

"Thanks," Brooke said, flipping her hair. "It's another one of my new designs."

"It's really amazing Brooke," Haley told her, opening her own locker. "And so are the things you made for me. I'm excited to wear them, even if it means I'm getting even fatter."

"I can't believe you're still so tiny," Brooke said. "If I didn't know, I still wouldn't be able to tell."

A few girls walked by, staring at them and talking behind their hands, causing Haley to bristle and unconsciously rub her arms. "Don't worry about them Hales," Lucas said, reaching for her hand.

"I know they don't matter. I've been through this before, but it still sucks," Haley told him, pushing a stray lock of hair behind her ears.

Another group came by, this time laughing as they looked at her and whispered amongst them.

"I've already heard several different rumors," Brooke admitted. "Some are relatively close to the truth, but some of the others are way out there."

"Maybe I should just go home," Haley said, getting flustered. "I don't know that I can deal with this right now."

"I heard you got caught having sex with one of the Oak Lake players," Sue Garvey said, coming over to confront them. She had hated Haley ever since she started dating Nathan, who she'd had a crush on, and it only increased when Haley came back from the tour and they fought.

"Then you heard wrong. Some asshole attacked her and she fought him off long enough for Nathan to come kick his ass. Just like he'd want to do to you if he knew what you were saying," Rachel said, coming up and joining their group. "Hell, maybe I'll do it for him since he doesn't hit girls."

The entire hallway was staring at them in silence as this announcement was made. "Go ahead, move along. Didn't anyone ever teach you not to stare," Brooke said, startling them back into moving about their business.

"Uh...thanks?" Brooke said in confusion as she glanced between Haley and Rachel.

"Look, I know I'm a bitch," Rachel said, turning to Haley, "but I try to at least pay back my debts. I owe Nathan my life and I promised him I would be nice to you. I messed up and broke that promise once, but I'm trying to keep it now. Besides, that chick is an even bigger bitch than I am and not nearly as hot."

"Look Rachel, it's too little, too..." Brooke started.

"Thank you," Haley said, interrupting her friend. "Not just for now, but for telling Nathan at the game. It might have saved my life, and it certainly stopped anything worse from happening. So I think it's all even."

Rachel nodded, accepting the thanks before leaning in to whisper to Haley, "for what it's worth, I will admit just this once that I was jealous. You've got a pretty amazing guy that really loves you," Rachel said. "Most of us don't know if we'll ever find that. Where is your hotter half anyway?"

"And you know how when people are at that point where they are about to wake up after having been asleep, and bit by bit they start to become more aware of their surroundings, and of their body resting there. They start to notice outside noises and when they are ready, they open their eyes and stretch, still feeling relaxed and comfortable..." Dr. Stevens said as he brought Nathan back from his trance. The session had been even more successful than expected and he was sure his patient would be pleased it had gone so well.

Nathan slowly came back to consciousness, sitting up and stretching. "How do you feel?" Stevens asked, causing his patient's eyes to move to meet his.

"A little overwhelmed," Nathan said, drawing his hands over his face. "It's really strange to have so many memories in places that for months have been empty space."

"It will probably take a few days to re-adjust," the therapist explained, "but you had all of these memories before, so they shouldn't feel new, just fresh like when you remember something you had thought forgotten."

"Yeah," Nathan said, feeling like his brain was being stretched to its limits. "It's strange."

He talked with the therapist for several more minutes before heading to the Range Rover. He sat in the seat with his head in his hands for a few minutes, knowing he wasn't ready to go home. He needed to put his thoughts in order and work out a few things before he talked to anyone. Eventually, he put the key in the ignition and pulled out of the parking lot as he debated where to go. He desperately wanted a drink and he considered finding an open bar and using his fake ID, or even easier, stopping at a gas station and grabbing a six pack. He even went so far as to pull into a convenience store before noticing a park a little further along the road with several guys playing basketball. He knew that the alcohol was a way he would have dealt with his problems in the past and not the way he should now, especially since he had to drive home. Instead of going in, he pulled back out and drove down to the park where he changed from jeans into his extra pair of shorts and walked to the court. "I'm Nathan."

"Looks like we've got a newbie," one of the guys said, a dark skinned young man who looked to be about 20 and towered over Nathan. "Does he really think he can hang with us?" His friends laughed as they joined in. "How about this, if you can score even one point off me in 1 on 1, we'll let you play?"

"Sounds fair," Nathan said in amusement. Still wearing his polo, he figured he looked a lot more like a golfer than a basketball player to these guys so he wasn't at all surprised by the challenge. It didn't matter where you went, there was always a king of the court and a new player had to prove himself to be included. This wouldn't be the first time he'd surprised the hell out of one of them and he really doubted it would be the last. He took off his polo and undershirt and tossed them to the side, knowing he didn't want to go home all sweaty when this was over, and then picked up the ball that was still laying on the concrete out near half court. "So, are we shooting for ball?"

"Nah," the leader said, watching as his friends cleared the court. "I'll let you have it. If I take it, you won't ever even get to touch it."

Nathan laughed, enjoying the trash talking. He liked this guy's confidence and attitude, it reminded him of his own in many ways, but he would have done a better job of sizing up his opponent before he'd run his mouth. "If that's what you want," he said as he dribbled the ball a few times, testing its bounce before checking it with his opponent. Catching the return pass, he dribbled a few times, testing out his defender and determining the best way to attack. The guy had about a 4 inch height advantage over him so he'd have to make sure to clear plenty of space for the shot, knowing that if he didn't score this first possession, he'd have a much harder time convincing these guys to take him seriously. He dribbled between his legs, faking a move to his left and then stepping back before crossing back over to his right and then blowing past his defender, heading to the rim and coming up underneath the basket on the other side to complete the reverse dunk.

"Ohhhhhhh, Javon, he schooled you," the guys laughed, teasing their leader as they cheered the play.

Nathan prepared for an outburst, knowing that there were two typical reactions for the guy at this point. He would either respect the move and welcome Nathan into the game, or he'd be pissed and be a dick about it.

"That was some move. Where do you play?" Javon asked, smiling as he shook his head.

"I play for Tree Hill," Nathan told him, releasing his breath as his question was answered.

"You're Nathan Scott," Javon said, laughing. "I should have known. My cousin Tony talked about you a lot after you guys were roommates at High Flyers. He said you had some serious game. I guess he was right. My name's Javon. I play for UNC Wilmington."

Nathan laughed, wondering at the odds of this guy being related to one of his closest friends. "Tony is a pretty damn good player himself."

"Well you're welcome here anytime," he said, turning to his friends and introducing them all before they shot for teams and started a game.

An hour later, they finished up and Nathan stood wiping his face and chest off with his undershirt. "I heard you might be joining Tony at Duke this fall."

"That's still up in the air," Nathan admitted, "but I hope so."

"Well good luck man. I'm sure you'll do great wherever you go," Javon said.

"Thanks, and thanks for letting me play. I've got a lot going on and I needed that more than you can imagine," Nathan said.

"No problem," Javon said, "We've all been there."

"Hey Nate," he yelled, stopping Nathan before he got into his car and jogging over to him. "Whatever it is, if you're half the man Tony claims you are, you'll get through it just fine."