CSI Affiliation: None

Rated K

Fluffy – Jules tells how it feels on her side...And what is going on around her.

Chapter 36: Sometimes

There wasn't a single day that went by that he didn't wake up with the hope that today would be the day it would happen. He prayed that it would be the day that Jules would wake up and he would be able to talk to her again. He missed her. Even though he spent nearly 24 hours a day by her side, he still missed talking to her; laughing with her. They always had the best conversations and never ran out of things to talk about. He loved talking with her no matter how ridiculous the topic could be. Nick missed her. He missed her terribly.

She wondered when the darkness would turn to light again. She hoped it would soon. She felt alone in the dark. She knew she wasn't alone though since she could sometimes hear the voices of her brother, her boyfriend, and her friends. She couldn't always hear their conversations, but sometimes, if she tried real hard or if the pain wasn't too intense, she could. Sometimes the voices upset her though when she could hear the sadness in them. When any of the voices were sad or crying, it made her feel scared and unsure about what was happening.

Sometimes she heard Nick crying as he talked to her. She wished she could answer him back and tell him that she could hear him and that everything would be all right. But, sometimes she wasn't sure it would be all right. Sometimes the pain was so bad she thought for sure she would succumb to it. But, most of the time, she loved hearing Nick's voice..most of the time.

Nick felt selfish crying to her about his fear and pain when she was lying in a bed hooked up to wires, tubes and machines. But sometimes, when no one was with him in her room, he found it hard to keep it together. His inability to help her was killing him slowly. He couldn't bear it. Every now and then he would be weak and crumble. Every now and then he would just cry with his head on her torso. It was heart wrenching to see her lying there so helpless. Every day that went by seemed like an eternity.

Jules wondered why she couldn't see their faces. That was very strange to her. If only she could see them and reach out to let them know she was there and she could hear them. But, no matter how hard she tried, she just couldn't escape the dark room she was in. She knew she needed to be there to heal. But, she just wished it didn't have to be so lonely.

Sometimes she heard Trista's voice come through. Trista was funny. She loved to read her the articles from Cosmo magazines. Trista knew damn well Jules preferred to read about interesting things like the recent advances on DNA extraction or articles from her Bio-analysis Journals. Now those would always be a good choice. It was Trista that liked the relationship quizzes and the silly romance babble. Jules would chuckle alone inside herself when she would hear Trista tell Warrick or Nick that "Jules would love this month's Cosmo! Can you pick one up in the gift shop for me?" She wondered if the guys even believed her. But, each time she asked for a specific magazine, one of the boys always brought it back up to her.

Warrick paced a lot. She couldn't see him, but she could hear his feet move back and forth from one side of the room to the other. She knew it was him. Warrick had always been one to pace when he was nervous. Jules wanted to tell him to sit the hell down, that she was all right and would come back to him soon...but she couldn't.

She tried, Lord knows she tried several times to let them all know, but she never could break free from the dark tunnel. She just couldn't pull herself out from the coma she was stuck in. So, she would just have to sit back alone in her darkened head and listen to the pleas, listen to the pacing, listen to the ridiculous dribble from Cosmopolitan Magazine.

But she did get to listen to them entertain her too and that always made her happy.

Jules loved when she was able to hear the conversations from Nick when he talked to her about things he was thinking about. She found it adorable that he would act like she was answering him back. She loved how he actually knew what she would have said had she been able to say it. It warmed her heart, and she must admit, it made her fight harder to try and answer him. She would fight harder to try and break free from the empty place she was waiting in.

"Hey Darlin', remember when we went to my mom and dad's ranch? We had a great time didn't we?" Jules knew Nick would nod but she couldn't see him do it. And he always would follow as if he heard her answer.

"Yeah, we sure did." he would say.

"We were so newly dating but I knew I wanted to bring you with me. I knew you were the one for me. I was never sorry either," he admitted and she could always tell when he smiled proudly after his sentences.

"Do you want to know something?" he'd ask as if she could answer him. "Do you remember when my dad asked you if you slept okay? Well, I could tell by his expression, and the way he smirked when he said it, that he knew you and I were getting busy the night before." Nick chuckled just from the memory.

"I never wanted to tell you that because I knew you would get all embarrassed and squeal in agony at the mere thought," he laughed again as he thought about her reaction.

"I know you, Babe, you would have been mortified. But, oh he knew...for sure. I would bet money on it. I know my dad and it was his way of having his own private little joke," he told her.

"Oh God, I can see you now...you would have fallen right down on the floor if you knew," Nick laughed harder at the thought.

Jules loved listening to his stories...not exactly the one about his dad knowing they were getting down and dirty in Nick's old bedroom though. She would have a lot to say about that one had she been able to get her words out. After all, it was his damn fault. She told him they shouldn't have done it with his parents down the hall. Nick was gonna be hearing her bitch about that one as soon as she was able to talk to him.

Nick and Warrick had no idea that Jules could sometimes hear them. They had hoped she could, but they had no way to know for sure. So, they would just talk to her as if she could hear them and made sure all subjects were about something positive.

They never talked about being suspended from work. They never mentioned Jimmy Cole's name. They never talked about the baby. They tried to keep everything as upbeat as they could.

Just in case she could hear them...