Lucina's Wonderful Birthday, Part 2!
A/N: Welcome, one and all, to Lucina Reacts! Firstly, WAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
Alright, now that I'm done teasing you with the prospect of stoned Lucina, now let's watch her screw up some more, eh? How WILL Robin manage to celebrate his wif-I mean, his completely platonic and not-at-all romantic friend's- who he most definitely does not have a crush on- birthday? WILL he manage to do it? Let's find out here!
DISCLAIMER: Fire Emblem belongs to Nintendo, otherwise every day would be Lucina Day (blaze it, son.) I'd make an appropriate Snoop Dogg reference here but I think the mods would kill me.
All mentioned characters and franchises belong to their respective owners.
No voice actors were deliberately insulted in the making of this chapter.
"...Lucina?" Robin stared at the princess, softly shaking her as she softly mumbled about ponies. "You can't be seriously doing this."
She poked his nose again, a dull, vacant look on her face. "Boop! Heehee~ Your nose is so soft. It's like a marshmallow!"
"Good Naga...what did you inhale?" The grandmaster stared at her, incredulous.
Lucina smiled dreamily. "You reaaaally need to try it out, maaaaan. It's like being in heaven, dood..."
Robin closed his eyes, pinching the bridge of his nose, before sniffing the air.
Lucina's room had a faint smell of burned tea leaves, yet stronger and somewhat fuller, reminding Robin of chocolate. He opened his eyes, thinking carefully.
'...these must be the coca leaves Miriel was experimenting with. It seems their effects remove inhibitions...but also turn the person into a complete loon.
Wait, inhibitions? If these fumes remove inhibitions then...I can only guess at one person who tried it.'
"Morgan. It has to be." Robin concluded, exasperated. "...of course, it has to be Morgan. Only she of all people would go this far to get me and Lucina to do something indecent...
...Lucina, get up. We're going."
"Huh? Where are we going?" The princess inquired as she was pulled out of her room by the grandmaster, who was stomping off in the direction where Cordelia had left Morgan.
"To find my madwoman of a daughter and make her fix this!" Robin snapped irritably. "She messed up your birthday plans..."
"Oh, that's right!" Lucina nodded slowly in realisation. "It's my birthday today...
...hey, listen, I could really go for some munchies...I'm really feeling cake." The princess gasped as she realised something. "Did they bake me a birthday cake?"
Robin blanched as he listened to his friend babble mindlessly.
'She really is out of it...in any case, Morgan wouldn't have achieved what she wanted, thankfully. I-I mean, I-I don't like Lucina in that way, after all.
Cordelia understands that, right? I don't unders-w-what am I thinking? T-this is irrelevant right now!'
Meanwhile...
Todd and Cynthia were perched outside Lucina's window, breathing heavily. The tactician looked in, not hearing anything. His spirits sank as he realised they weren't in the room, doing indecent things.
"...that didn't go like I think it should've." Todd sighed disappointedly. "Mission failure."
"WHAT?!" Cynthia cried, shocked. "Y-you mean-"
"Robin didn't get dosed and...Lucina's not in any condition to be even close to confessing her love." Todd explained, looking at the spare bottle of fumes mournfully.
The pegasus rider frowned. "Dammit! We were so close...so I guess your grand plan backfired?"
"Nah, this isn't my grand plan." The tactician admitted. "I mean, it's a plan, but not a grand one."
Cynthia held up a finger. "Wait. So, o mighty Todd, what is your grand plan?"
"You'll see soon enough, dear-"
"GET THE FUCK DOWN FROM THERE!"
The sudden admonishment from Sully surprised Todd. His foot slipped.
"Wah!" He cried out and fumbled for the ledge, only to miss and land onto the lawn below. Cynthia looked down, before jumping after him.
"TODD!" She landed deftly after him- a skill honed from jumping from pegasi to rain petals down upon her mother to make magnificent entrances- kneeling by him. The bottle of fumes had been cracked open, and the fumes had scattered.
Sully ran over to him, looking concernedly at him.
"Ah crap...is he hurt?" The cavalier inquired. "Todd! You alright? Wasn't that long of a fall? Crap."
Todd stirred, staring at Sully for a moment. Cynthia waited in anticipation to see if he was alright.
"Hey, Sully..." The tactician uttered softly. Sully raised her eyebrow.
"...from this day on, just Todd won't be tolerated."
"What." The cavalier's expression changed. "...who the hell do you think you are, Todd?"
Todd stood up, posing heroically towards the sky and giving Sully an intense glare.
"I would prefer it if you didn't call me by that name her. You should refer to me as His Highness, Todd fucking Haberk-"
Sully, taking in what the tactician had said, before delivering a punch to his face. She didn't even let him finish his magnificent declaration.
"Ow!" Todd cried, rubbing his cheek, before staring back at her indignantly. "I'm-"
"Just shut up!" Sully snapped and punched him again, knocking the delusional boy out cold. He mumbled 'Mother' under his breath as he curled up, clutching his cheek.
"He must've hit his head harder than we thought he did." The cavalier muttered to herself, rubbing her fist. "What, that a name of some Outrealm actor or something? The thing he was about to say.
Hell, who cares?"
Cynthia suddenly looked worried. "Uh, Sully! Carefu-"
"What-" The cavalier suddenly stepped on something fragile, feeling it shatter underfoot. "...eh?"
She'd stepped on all the bottles of cocoa fumes he'd taken with him to dose Robin and Lucina.
"Ahhhh crap-"
Sully didn't even have time to complete her sentence before her expression softened into a dull, vacant smile.
Cynthia was already halfway across the lawn, covering her nose as Sully breathed in the fumes. The clouds wafted their way into the palace.
"I shall heroically flee to fight another day!" Cynthia declared, but her voice was anything but heroic as she sought out her pegasus- and possibly some provisions for the next day or two while this whole thing was sorted out.
Meanwhile, in the palace...
Morgan sat by the infirmary wall, rubbing her sweaty forehead with a towel. The wall behind her had been scrubbed repeatedly to get that accursed speck out of the wall that Cordelia somehow saw.
The tactician never understood how she saw things like that. Probably all the riding on the back of pegasi and looking down upon the battlefield helped her vision out.
"Dammit...she's like a slavedriver when she wants things cleaned..." The tactician complained. "...it took me three hours, but I think I cleaned out that damned spot..."
Suddenly, she saw Robin dragging Lucina along towards her, looking irritated. Morgan raised an eyebrow.
"Huh? Is Father-"
"Morgan." Robin called out, irritated. Morgan frowned.
'Oh. Not those two finally getting a room.' The tactician was disappointed. "...yes Father?"
"Fix what you did to Lucina!" The grandmaster demanded angrily, pointing at the princess. She smiled vacantly at Morgan, waving.
"Hey. Do you know where the cake is? It's my birthday!" Lucina declared, before crossing her arms and puffing her cheeks out like a child.
"You know, the King needs munchies, and she wants people to make them for her! And the Kiiiing's word is law! Chop chop!"
Robin glared at Morgan. "Fix this."
Morgan snickered at her, trying to hold it in and failing. Only after realising that her father's glare wasn't going away did she slowly stop laughing.
"...Father...I didn't do this."
"...d-don't give me that! Of course you did! This seems like the thing you'd do!"
Morgan pouted. "I can't believe my own father doesn't trust me...but one, whatever they did to Lucina, it doesn't seem to be helping you two actually admit you love each other, so I probably didn't do it.
And two, I've been stuck here cleaning up this wall for the last few hours, thanks to Cordelia!" Morgan snapped. "How does she even see those things?!"
"...wait, wait." Robin held up a finger, trying to understand the situation. "...you didn't do this?"
The tactician shook her head. "Of course not! It's not me this time. How could I have done it?!"
Lucina pulled Robin's arm out, clinging to it, causing him to blush slightly.
"Maaaan, you're so warm and soft..."
"L-Lucina, n-now is not the time to be doing that!" The grandmaster softly pried his arm out of her grip- or tried to, for the girl's grasp was like an iron vice.
"I'm cooooold!" The princess complained as she reached for his arm for several moments, before settling on wrapping her cape around herself.
Morgan giggled. "This isn't so-"
"You're helping me fix this." The grandmaster declared. Morgan stared at him, confused.
"What?! Why?!"
"You're being punished anyway with cleaning up the infirmary, Morgan. So, you can reduce it by helping me fix Lucina and make her stop."
"I'm the queen of the castle! I'm the queen of the castle!" The princess crooned, slightly off-tune.
Morgan chuckled. "She really is out of it, huh?"
"Well, if you aren't responsible for it, then who is?"
"The other Cabal members." Morgan shrugged. "You know, I'm not the only person in the palace who wants you and Lucina to get a room already. Probably Todd or Cynthia. Owain would probably jump in with his sword hand and declare you guys were too heroic of a couple not to be together."
The grandmaster looked aside, nodding slowly. "That...makes sense. Alright, I'll take your word for it, but I'll have you cleaning Sumia's pegasus' dung if you're lying to me.
In any case, now we must find Miriel and fix Lucina..."
Morgan nodded, snapping her fingers and agreeing with the conclusion.. "Right. She's done all the research, she might know how to fix it."
...
Minutes later, at Miriel's house
"Naga help us all." Robin declared, facepalming.
Miriel was slumped against the wall, her glasses sitting askew on her vacant smiling face and her books and journals lying in disarray across the floor of her room. On a desk was a small ceramic furnace, providing small wisps of cocoa fumes, and possibly how Miriel had become exposed.
Morgan chuckled. "Oh, Naga, not Miriel too..."
"How in Naga's name am I supposed to fix it without her?!" The grandmaster cried. "How?!"
Morgan picked up one of her journals. "She'll have made notes."
"Point taken." Robin nodded, before picking up a journal and flipping through it.
"Alright, four attempts and almost nothing on curing this madness." Robin sighed in exasperation. "Are you serious?"
Miriel poked at invisible bubbles in the air, before adjusting her glasses to see them clearly.
"Fascinating." The mage mumbled, her head slightly slumping onto her shoulder. "These bubbles seem to be multicolored...but I cannot seem to disturb them...no matter what I do...
...perhaps I should take a sample...for experimental purposes."
She looked up at Robin. "Ah, Robin. Can you grab me some needles? I require a sample of these bubbles."
The grandmaster gave her a flat look. "...what."
"Do you not see them? Even more intriguing. I may have discovered a new substance that may help my research into invisibility." Miriel noted, her eyes lighting up with excitement, lazily picking up one of her scattered notebooks and scrawling illegibly into it, contrasting with her normally tight, clear and concise writing.
"Heeeeey!" Lucina frowned. "I see the bubbles too! They're pretty!"
She poked one she thought she saw. "Boooop."
Robin, meanwhile, carefully flipped through another journal. "...the counter agent..."
"Is this what you're looking for?"
Laurent leaned by the doorway, carrying a phial of a translucent white fluid in his hand. Morgan looked over at him.
"Laurent? When did you get time to-"
"I was assisting my mother with the research. She thought the fumes of cocoa extract may assist in pain relief." The boy explained. "It seems that they have...other, unintended effects. I took the opportunity to make a curing solution to it."
"Heeeheee." Lucina giggled, pressing her face into Robin's arm. "You're so strong and warm..."
Robin blushed, swallowing briefly before looking to Laurent. "G-give it to Lucina, immediately!"
Morgan shook her head. "N-no! Don't! This is hilarious!"
"You know what would be fun? You and I, being boyfriend and girlfriend! That seems fun! Then we could poke at the bubbles toget-" Lucina suddenly stopped, her eyes refocusing, and hissed as a small needle went into her arm.
Laurent sighed, pulling the needle out as the princess rubbed her head groggily. Robin supported her carefully.
"Ugh..." She rubbed her throat, coughing slightly. "What...what happened? Robin, I thought we were in my room-"
Morgan snickered, hiding her mouth. "You and Robin were together in a room together?"
Lucina shook her head quickly, blushing. "N-no! It wasn't like that! W-we were just-"
"My mother's cocoa extract fumes were stolen and used to drug you." Laurent explained. Lucina glared at Morgan.
"This was your doing, wasn't it?"
The tactician pouted. "You're mean, Mom. It wasn't me this time!"
"I-I'm not your mother, b-because I-I d-don't love Robin, a-and anyway, who else would've drugged me?"
"Don't look at me!" Morgan cried. "I'm not the whole Justice Cabal!"
Laurent nodded, adjusting his glasses. "Indeed. No doubt it was the work of Todd or Cynthia."
"Reflet?" Robin pointed out.
"Reflet's work is far more subtle, far more deceitful. " The mage pointed out. "No, this was overt, obvious and somewhat crude in the execution.
You three had better head back to the palace. I will attempt to make more."
"...more? We just need to fix your mother, right?" Morgan looked over at him, confused.
The mage frowned, and Robin and Lucina's spirits sank.
"I fear it has escalated beyond that now."
Over in the palace...
"And as the NEW Royal Highness, I, Todd Haberkorn, declare that every day must be dedicated to the activity of blazing it!" Todd declared, standing in the middle of the dining hall.
In front of him were Sully, Lissa, Tharja and several others, in various states of intoxication, sprawled out across the various tables, cheering the declaration.
"And then my second decree is that someone make me some hamburgers!" The tactician rubbed his belly. "I'm hungry for some munchies...
Oh, oh, better yet! Some paaaaastaaaa! Its-a-pasta day!"
The only person standing in the hall not under the effects of the fumes was Reflet, who was crossing her arms.
"So my son thinks he's his own voice actor when he's stoned. Perfect." The grandmistress sighed. "Why can't it work like that on Tharja or Lucina...
I feel bad about not fixing it, but what can I do?"
"Sempai, sempai, sempai, sempai..." Tharja mumbled, clutching a hastily crafted doll of Robin. "Seeeeempai!"
Lissa and Maribelle were calmly bobbing their heads to an unheard beat, their eyes vacant and dull.
Sully huffed, sighing happily. "That's the stuff. Man, I feel like I'm flying..."
"EVERY DAY IS FOUR-TWENTY DAY!"
Robin, Lucina and Morgan stood outside the hall, looking in.
"...is Haberkorn the title of his royal house?" Lucina tilted her head.
"No. It's an Outrealm custom called a 'last name'." Robin pointed out. "Chrom and I have been planning to introduce those in Ylisse.
Some of Reflet's associates in the Outrealms have them, although I certainly wouldn't expect 'Xiao Long' or 'Suzumiya' to be common..."
Morgan facepalmed. "Not only that, that's not even his last name. He stole it from his voice actor."
"I find it unfortunate that I know what those are." Lucina sighed. "I'm spending far too much time with you and Reflet..."
Robin rubbed his chin. "How best to get these people into the infirmary..."
Morgan raised a finger. "Father, how about we take one of the bottles of cocoa fumes?"
"I don't think that will solve the issue-"
"No, no. I mean, we lure them over to the infirmary with the bottle!" The tactician pointed out. "I mean, Todd's talking about making every day four-twenty day, so let's give him the opportunity!"
Lucina nodded. "You know, Morgan, that's not a bad idea. I'm curious, though."
"Huh?"
"Why are you helping us?"
"My aim is to get you and Father together, not to make you look like a fool, although your awkwardness about admitting it makes both easy to do at the same time." Morgan pointed out bluntly, before looking away softly.
"Well, only until you two get together, then my goal is to make you look like a fool."
Lucina's stare hardened. "How comforting."
Robin rubbed his chin. "But how to lure them over to us?"
Morgan smirked mischievously.
"I think I have a plan."
"...I know I shouldn't be scared, as that plan is not aimed at us, but I am..." Robin swallowed nervously.
"...fine, Morgan. Go ahead."
"Excellent."
...
Minutes later...
"Man, making all these references tires a guy out." Todd sat down on one of the dining hall tables. "Maaaan, it's good to be the king-eh?"
He looked up, seeing a bottle of cocoa fumes hung on a fishing rod. Todd's eyes widened in shock.
"COCOA FUMES!"
Everyone looked up at the bottle, gasping.
"GRAB IT! WE MUST BLAZE IT"
"Fuuuuuumes!" Lissa squealed happily as she leapt after it. The bottle was swayed out of her reach, causing her to land on the stone floor with an 'oof'.
The occupants of the hall chased after the bottle as it flew out of the hall.
Morgan chuckled, sitting on the back of a water buffalo as she hauled the bottle behind the beast, with Robin and Lucina steering the bovine towards the infirmary.
"WHERE DID YOU GET THIS ANIMAL?!" Lucina yelled over the sound of stampeding people.
"I have my suppliers!" Morgan laughed maniacally, hefting the bottle over the heads of the afflicted. "I had a couple spare from my last scheme..."
Robin sighed, pulling on the reins. "I don't want to know what this scheme was..."
"Come on, maaaan!" Todd yelled after them. "Just pass the thing! Don't leave me hanging!"
"We're nearly there!" The grandmaster yelled. "Do I stop here?"
"Stop!"
Lucina's eyes widened. "Wait, why are we stopping? They'll catch us!"
"Trust me, Lucina! I know what I'm doing!"
Robin exhaled. "Here goes!"
He yanked on the reins of the animal, stopping its movement. The stampede advanced hurriedly towards them.
Tharja giggled. "Seeeempaaaai-"
"NOW!" Morgan yelled as the group was about to touch the bottle. Robin mustered all of his strength and yanked the reins to the left, forcing the buffalo to move towards the left and leave the door to the infirmary open, causing everyone to collapse into it in a heap.
"Gah! Todd cried out, pulling himself from the pile. "...maaaan, what was-GAH!"
He felt a sharp needle pierce his back, as Laurent injected him with the cure.
"...geeeaaaaah!" His back arched in pain. "...AVRIL LAVIGNE!"
He collapsed, unconscious, on the floor. Laurent looked over to Libra and Brady.
"You two know what to do."
"I'll handle Tharja." The older monk sighed, attending to his roommate, while Brady attended to the others.
As the others recovered, Lucina breathed heavily, leaning on the wall. "That was...close."
Morgan laughed maniacally. "I finally got to ride a water buffalo through the halls with Father's permission!"
Robin sighed, wiping his brow. "...that could've been far worse than it was...alright. Lucina..."
"Huh?"
"I was going to...show you something, but it might have to wait." The grandmaster sighed. "At least, until Lissa is ready."
"Huh?" Morgan tilted her head. "What were you going to show Lucina?"
Half an hour later...
Morgan and Robin guided Lucina carefully towards a seemingly abandoned part of the palace, barely frequented by anyone.
"What are you showing me here?" Lucina looked around cautiously. Robin smiled at her.
"Be patient. We're nearly there."
"Ooh! Ooh! Is it a love nest?" Morgan said teasingly.
Lucina and Robin blushed, embarrassed and stared at her. "M-Morgan!"
"Teehee~"
They stopped at a door with light streaming out from underneath. Robin inhaled.
"You ready, Lucina?"
"I...suppose." The princess nodded. "I think I'm ready."
She pressed on the door, looking inside. Her face brightened into a smile as she realised what was inside.
Chrom and Sumia were smiling at her, carrying a well-made cake. There was icing on it, meticulously used to write Lucina's name on the top, topped with strawberries and cream. Lissa waved at her, grinning. Behind them was a small table, set with the finest food Robin could cook up, with some help from Cordelia.
"Happy birthday, Lucina!" Chrom called over happily, before looking away, slightly embarrassed. "Uh, is this really how you do it? I feel odd."
"Reflet said this is how they celebrate birthdays in the Outrealms." Sumia chuckled. "I just wanted to test it out here.
Cynthia couldn't make it, by the way. Apparently she had to go off somewhere. We haven't seen her all day."
"This is..." Lucina sputtered out, taken aback.
"I...had the idea of holding you a birthday party on your real birthday before everyone holds the feast tomorrow." Robin explained. "I thought you might like it."
"Robin...I...you didn't need to do this for me." The princess responded, slightly embarrassed.
The grandmaster chuckled. "I do this for a good friend. I'd do this for Chrom any day, why not you?"
"Besides, you said it yourself! You haven't celebrated your birthday ever since you came back from the future." Sumia pointed out. "You deserve this, Lucina."
Lucina sighed, her smile growing bigger.
"...thank you, all."
"Don't thank us!" Lissa scoffed. "Thank your boyfriend. He had the idea first!"
Robin jumped, shaking his head. "I-I'm not her boyfriend!"
"Spoken like a true harem protagonist. Only without a harem." Morgan chuckled.
Robin also took out a small bouquet of flowers, handing them to Lucina. "H-here. Ylissean Whites."
"W-what?" The princess blushed. "T-this...I-I'm not-"
"N-not that way!" The grandmaster shook his head, blushing. "...Cordelia said you might like these, and I decided, p-purely as a friend...to get you these."
"...t-they're beautiful..." The princess took them, laughing. "...thank you."
She pulled Robin into a hug, pressing into him as hard as she could.
"You're the best...friend...I could have."
"...y-you too." The grandmaster returned the hug. The pair held the hug for slightly longer than truly platonic friends might do. Chrom cleared his throat loudly, causing them to relinquish each other, rubbing the backs of their heads.
"Heh...these flowers truly are beautiful." Lucina smiled, thanking him.
'Dammit, KISS already!' Morgan was dying to speak her mind, but she wanted to preserve the moment. It wasn't often that the two were not awkward long enough to share such affection.
Sumia clapped, giggling at the pair hugging.
"So, shall we dig in? We got all this food ready. It'd be a shame not to eat some!"
"Can I stay?" Morgan inquired. "Please? I won't do anything antic-related! Pweeaaase?"
Robin sighed, shaking his head and smiling good-naturedly.
"I suppose, Morgan. I suppose. You did salvage this situation."
Morgan pumped her fist in triumph. "Yes!"
Lissa cheered. "YAY! FOOD!"
With that, the family- plus Robin and Morgan- partook of the feast, talking and conversing happily with each other. All Morgan could notice, however, was Lucina and Robin.
For once, they seemed comfortable with each other, looking for all the world to be happy to be with each other, without the antics of her or anyone else. Lucina's smile was the cutest thing she'd ever seen, and Robin was, for once, not stuttering or denying that he loved her. He was comfortable talking to her.
Sumia was too busy talking to Chrom and enjoying the food, but Morgan wasn't. She noticed all the little cues- the little blushes Lucina gave when Robin told her about small anecdotes, the smiles Robin gave when Lucina laughed her adorable little laughs, the relaxed tone in which they spoke.
'...you know, I just wish they'd do this more often so I wouldn't have to try to force them together.' Morgan sighed. 'I suppose...I'll leave them, just this once. They deserve this, and this is the closest I'll get to seeing Mother and Father together, for now.
One day, I'll do it. They'll get together. And we'll be a family.
Until then however...we'll have to just keep on pushing them together with the right combination of antics. I'm looking forward to Todd's scheme.
If it's not this...I want to know what it really is. It'd better be amazing.'
END
A/N: Strangely sappy. But then, it's Lucina's birthday, she deserves something happy. She deserves just one chapter that doesn't end in antics. Don't worry, you'll have your regular antics back later.
Also, a free Sumia plushie to anyone who gets every single reference to the roles of the glorious Todd Haberkorn I inserted into the chapter. I mean every single reference. There are a lot of references.
Anyway, next chapter, Lucina Reacts to Shin Megami Tensei x Fire Emblem! Or Illusory Revelation #FE!
So, I hope you enjoyed that, leave your ideas, comments, criticisms, reviews, thoughts and suggestions, and I hope you have a GREAT day! Until next time!