The Yellowfang and Nightcloud Show

by Empress Tansy

Yellowfang, in her retirement, has decided to start a talk-show about motherhood. She's hired Nightcloud as her crazy, often annoying co-host, and together they interview mothers, fathers, kits, and their sons. Occasionally they review books and movies. Warning: Contains dangerous amounts of hashtags, singing, and attacks. Nightcloud is a very problematic co-host. Enjoy!

36. I can't get over my Ex

Episode 36: "I Can't Get Over My Ex"

Nightcloud sat in her red plush chair, fiddling with her bright pink phone. "And now for the cat who has ten million Twitter followers...me!"

"Didn't you just have two million a few weeks ago?" Yellowfang asked, padding onto the stage.

"What can I say?" the black she-cat shrugged. "#nightcloudisawesome"

Yellowfang rolled her eyes. "I don't know what cat in their right mind would follow you on Twitter!"

"You should get a Twitter account," Nightcloud meowed. "I posted who our special guest is today!"

The gray she-cat looked surprised. "You did?"

Nightcloud nodded. "Yep. So now everyone can guess that our topic is 'I Can't Get Over my Ex,' because Ashfur is our guest!"

The gray tom padded onto the stage, shooting a winning look at the audience. "I find Twitter is a delightful way to release my anger toward Squirrelflight."

"Ashykins, I LOVE YOU!" A bloodcurdling screech sounded from in front of the stage, where Tansy was slapping a paw over her mouth, obviously embarrassed.

"QUIET, Tansy," Nightcloud growled. "This is our show. You're just the camera-cat."

"The director who signs your paychecks, you mean," Tansy corrected.

Yellowfang shook her head in annoyance and turned to her guest. "Anyway, Ashfur, you still seem to be bearing a grudge."

"I HATE SQUIRRELFLIGHT!" Ashfur howled. "...or do I love her? I don't know!"

Tansy apparently had more to say. "I LOVE YOU, ASHY!"

Nightcloud cast the director an angry look. "Tansy, BE QUIET!"

Yellowfang held a paw to her head, feeling a headache growing. "You wrote a book about getting over Squirrelflight, didn't you Ashfur?"

"Yes," the tom responded, "I wrote Getting Over Your Ex- the book YOU said was horrible!"

Nightcloud turned to look at Ashfur. "You just ramble on and on about Squirrelflight. You never got over her!"

"I LOVE SQUIRRELFLIGHT!" Ashfur yowled.

"I thought you hated her," Yellowfang mewed.

The gray tom nodded. "I do!"

"I am so confused right now," Nightcloud said.

Yellowfang agreed with her co-host. "I think Ashfur is, too."

"I AM NOT CONFUSED!" Ashfur shrieked, launching himself at Yellowfang.

Nightcloud stared at Ashfur in shock, nearly speechless. "Wow...just wow..."

"Go Ashy!" Tansy cheered as she watched the fight.

The black host turned to her camera-cat, an odd expression on her face. "#tansyisdumb #ashfurisdumb #squirrelbelongswithbramble"

"WHAT?" Ashfur gasped, pausing his fight with Yellowfang to attack Nightcloud. "DIE, YOU BADGER!"

The gray she-cat pushed herself between Ashfur and her co-host. "Wait, Ashfur! Tansy loves you!"

Ashfur stopped fighting and thought for a moment. "Hm...I guess she does. So, Tansy, how about a date?"

"Sure!" the camera-cat mewed happily. Tansy dropped her camera, not bothering to turn it off, and walked out of the auditorium with Ashfur on her heels.

Yellowfang stared after the two cats, confused. "I guess that's the end of the show..."

Her co-host hopped off the stage and picked up the camera. Turning it on herself, Nightcloud meowed, "#ashfurisstrange"