Well hello, and once again my sincerest apologies for the appallingly long wait. I had meant to get you a chapter before Christmas, and then a chapter on Christmas, as a 'special'. But I got stranded in Germany for a few days, and that is why that didn't happen. So instead of posting two separate chapters, I have been very kind and mashed them together - a New Year's Special. :) I hope you like it, thank you so much to everyone who has stuck with it so far and given me support. Also thank you to all my wonderful reviewers, and even to those who have alerted or favourited this without reviewing - it still shows that you like it! :D
'A Need To Be Needed'
Claire's POV
Claire didn't know why, but she was expecting things to have changed. They hadn't. The hall was exactly the same as it had been the last time she was here; same cheerful rag rug on the floor in place of a welcome mat, same wood panelled walls.
The house welcomed her back as she stepped in - she felt a rush of warmth surround her, and smiled slightly, giving the wall a soft pat.
"I know." She murmured, almost to herself. "It's been a while."
Myrnin raised an eyebrow at her. She was about to explain when someone screamed.
"Claire!"
Claire turned in time to see a whirlwind of black netting and combat boots hurtling down the stairs towards her. A second later Eve made impact, crushing her in a hug so tight she was sure it would have broken bones, were she human.
"You bitch!" Eve said forcefully, her voice muffled because her face was mashed into Claire's shoulder.
Claire grinned.
"It's nice to see you, too."
Eve laughed, only it came out a little strangled, and when she pulled away Claire could see there were tears running down her cheeks.
"Where have you been?" Demanded Eve. Claire grinned.
"Oh, you know, here and there..." She said evasively. Eve's eyes narrowed, and she sighed. "...Well, OK, I haven't left the lab in about a week..." She grimaced, and Eve attempted a sympathetic face.
"Sounds like you won't have much news." She said cheerfully. "I'll just have to talk for both of us."
Claire smiled happily, and pulled Eve into a spontaneous hug. Her friend was still her friend, and she didn't hate her.
"Thank you." She said quietly and sincerely. Eve knew what she meant immediately.
"You're welcome, Claire-Bear."
Eve had dragged her into the kitchen, and an hour later was still talking rapidly, clutching her fourth mug of coffee. Claire's attention drifted momentarily as Eve's easy chatter washed over her, and she wondered vaguely what Myrnin was doing, straining her senses out into the hall to see if she could hear him. She stiffened as her sensitive hearing picked up footsteps.
Too heavy and loud to be Myrnin. Claire frowned, and Eve noticed.
"Claire? What's-" The front door slammed, and this time, Eve heard it. Her eyes widened. She started to say something when the kitchen door opened and Myrnin slipped in. He immediately locked eyes with Claire.
"Shane." He said simply.
Eve's hand found hers, and she turned to Claire with large, round eyes.
"Claire, I- he's not- I don't think it would be good if-"
Myrnin cut across her smoothly.
"We should leave."
Claire tightened her grip on Eve's hand, defiance rising in her chest. Eve's next words crushed it. She sounded worried, frightened even.
"You-you should go. It's for the best."
Claire looked at her, concerned, and she flashed her a small smile.
"Shane's not been- in a good mood." She said, by way of explanation. Myrnin had already crossed the room, and was standing by the back door impatiently.
"Come."
Claire thought about arguing, but the truth was that her mouth had gone dry and her heart had started to beat faster in fear just at the thought of seeing Shane again. She gave her friend a quick hug, tears filling her eyes. At least Eve had Michael to look after her - she wasn't leaving her alone.
"See you soon, Claire-Bear." Eve whispered.
She nodded and turned to go, but the sound of the kitchen door opening stopped her in her tracks. There was a tense silence, and then;
"What the fuck is she doing here?"
He was standing in the doorway, his fists clenched, staring at Claire with an expression of loathing on his features.
Beside her, Claire felt Myrnin tense, and instinctively took a tiny step towards him. Shane noticed, and his eyes narrowed. A muscle was working in his jaw.
Eve attempted to break the awful tension.
"Claire was just about to leave." She said, her soft voice in contrast to Shane's snarling, gravelly one.
His gaze snapped to Eve.
"And why the hell did you let them in?" He growled.
Eve's eyes narrowed.
"Why shouldn't I?"
Shane pretended to think hard. "Um, let me think. How about because they're blood-sucking freaks!"
Them and us. Is that really all he sees when he looks at me now? A vampire? A...freak?
There was a long silence. Claire could sense Eve's anger rising, and saw her fists clench at her sides.
"What about Michael?" Eve said, deadly quiet.
"What about him?"
"He's a vampire, too. Is he a blood-sucking freak?"
Shane stared at her, hard.
"He's not one of us any more, Eve." He jerked his head towards Claire. "And neither is she."
"There never was an 'us', Shane!" Eve hissed, anger pouring off of her. "Only you. You and your dad. You're turning out to be an even bigger jerk than he was."
Claire inhaled sharply. She knew how terrified Shane was of being like his dad. He stiffened, his expression turning stony. Claire couldn't see any of the Shane she used to know- all at once the man in front of her was toughened and bitter; a young, handsome version of Frank Collins.
"You-" He began angrily, taking a step towards Eve with his hands half raised, but Myrnin interrupted him, suddenly stepping forwards in between Claire and Shane.
"Boy, think about this. Is this what you want to do?"
Shane's gaze snapped to Myrnin.
"You, you fucking leech! It's been you and her the whole time, hasn't it? Fucking behind my back!" He shouted, pointing accusingly at Claire. A flush had come over his cheeks.
Myrnin's expression darkened, and a tinge of red seeped into his irises. Claire could see the change come over him so clearly, she wondered why Shane didn't recoil. Danger was rolling off of him in quiet waves, and she could see the predator in his eyes and his stance.
"How dare you? How dare you make such accusations against Claire's honour? You ignorant, idiotic human!" He advanced on Shane, pushing him against the wall roughly.
Claire was frozen to the spot, watching the scene unfold helplessly.
"The only reason you are alive is because of her love for you! She has fought for your life more than once, because she loves you. And she still loves you, although I've no idea why, as you are the most undeserving, vulgar excuse for a human I have ever had the misfortune to meet. You are so far beneath her, you strupid little boy-" Myrnin snarled, and his fangs snapped down. His left hand was wrapped around Shane's neck, and he leaned in, eyes burning red. "I should rip your throat out right now and end your worthless life." He growled.
"Myrnin!" Claire gasped, finally getting her voice back. "Stop!"
Myrnin turned round slowly, his hand still methodically constricting Shane's air supply. His eyes were blazing red, his expression twisted in fury.
"He deserves it!" He snarled, tightening his grip. Shane made a desperate choking sound.
Claire stepped forwards slightly, tears forming in her eyes. Her voice was soft and barely there when she spoke, fear seeping into it.
"Please- please don't hurt him, Myrnin."
Myrnin squeezed his eyes shut for a moment. A muscle in his jaw twitched as he clenched his teeth, then he released Shane with a mechanical movement of his fingers. Shane dropped to the floor, choking and spluttering.
He met Claire's eyes and it took her a full minute to realise that between the gasps, he was laughing - a horrible, sickening, mocking laugh. He started to say something, but then Myrnin punched him in the face. Hard.
It caught everyone in the room by surprise, not least of all Shane, on whose face the expression of shock was almost comical. He reeled backwards for a moment, then put a hand up to feel his freshly broken nose, blood pouring thickly out over his fingers and down his chin.
Myrnin walked calmly - too calmly - to the door, and spoke in a quiet, restrained voice. He acted as if exactly nothing of interest had just happened - or tried to. Claire could see the angry set of his jaw, could still feel the rage radiating off of him.
"Claire. We're leaving."
There was no argument in his voice, and one look at the stiff rigidness of his shoulders sent Claire hurrying across the room to his side.
"I'm sorry, Eve." She whispered, her gaze still fixed on Shane. He was sitting propped up against a chair, pointedly not looking anywhere but at the cupboard directly in front of him.
"It's OK, CB. Love you." Eve attempted a smile, but it got lost halfway there and came out all wrong. Claire desperately wanted to stay with her, but one more glance at Myrnin told her he was running out of patience. His fingers were literally twitching with the desire to wrap his hands around Shane's throat again.
"Love you, too, Eve. I-"
At that point Myrnin let out a frustrated growl, and without warning lifted her up rather roughly, slinging her over his shoulder. She let out an indignant squeak, followed by a protest in the form of a short, futile but violent struggle. He strode on unrelentingly, one arm wrapped firmly around her midriff, and Claire heard Eve's furious shouts at his treatment of her cut off abruptly as the shimmer of a portal passed along her body.
Almost as soon as they were through, her captor dumped her unceremoniously on the couch, and took several long steps away from her, his back turned. She sat up cautiously, and spoke tentatively after a few minutes of silence.
"Myrnin?"
He didn't answer, and she stood, slowly making her way around to stand in front of him. It wasn't until she got closer that she realised he was literally shaking with barely suppressed rage. His hands were over his face, thumbs pressing into his eye sockets, and he didn't look at her as she came to stand in front of him.
"Myrnin..."
She whispered, taking another step closer to him, taking a risk and invading his personal space. In a flash, his hands were gripping her shoulders hard, too hard, and he was forcing her back, pushing her painfully into the wall. She let out a small, frightened whimper, then fell into a dumb silence as his eyes met hers. There were tears in them, and the edges of his wild irises were ragged crimson.
"Why," He spat out through gritted teeth. "Why do you still love him?" He gave her a little shake as he spoke.
"...Myrnin, please - let go." Claire said, in a small voice. She tried to remain calm, but she couldn't help trying to shrink away from him as his fingers dug in harder. She whimpered again, in pain, and tried to pry his fingers away.
"Myrnin, please, you're- you're hurting me..." Claire felt the first twinges of panic as she watched Myrnin's expression, staring at her out of eyes that were now wholly crimson.
"Why?" He ground out. His voice was distorted, barely more than a snarl.
"I don't know, alright!" She yelled suddenly, tears yet again managing to manifest on her cheeks. "I don't know why I still love him, and I wish to God he loved me back, but I- God, what do you want me to say?"
"I want you to say that you don't love him! That you couldn't love him! I want you to need me!" Myrnin cried, his expression showing his desperation briefly before his eyes widened as he realised what he'd said. He lowered his head, resting it in the crook between her neck and shoulder. She felt the anger drain out of him abruptly, changing him again. His breath swirled on her skin as he whispered against it. "I want you to-to need me. I need you to need me."
Claire heard her heart stutter, then pick up its pace again. Her face went slack.
"Wh-at?" She croaked. She felt an odd kind of fear and a paralysing, sinking feeling in her stomach. Like jumping out of a helicopter and realising your parachute was broken.
Myrnin's grip on her shoulders tightened again slightly, and he raised his head to look at her.
Claire forgot her fear; she forgot herself the moment his liquid eyes locked with hers. Myrnin looked at her, and she looked back at him, and suddenly she couldn't stand the tension, the almost physical itch under her skin that burned every time he looked at her like that. There was fire in her veins that could only be soothed by his touch, only be relieved by his fangs sliding under her skin and spreading ice into her body- She bit her lip, closing her throat against a small moan which threatened to come out.
"I- I do need you." Claire groaned softly, shutting her eyes and tipping her head to the side slightly. Her mind was spinning, the insides of her eyelids were painted red. She felt Myrnin's lips on her neck and gasped, losing it completely. "I need you- I need you to bite me."
She couldn't explain it - she felt an indescribable need, her whole body prickling with raw energy and desire. Myrnin went still, and she moaned aloud in frustration, whimpering,
"Please."
Claire dropped her head forward, pressing it into his shoulder.
"Please," She whispered, her voice trembling. Myrnin hesitated a moment longer, and then his arms were wrapped around her. His lips brushed against her neck once, twice, then his teeth scraped her skin gently, and she shivered.
Her blood was burning, and her fingertips tingled painfully. She pressed her face harder into the thick material of his coat. Myrnin ran his fingers through her hair, and she squeezed her eyes shut until colours exploded behind her eyelids. Her fingers clutched the edges of his frock coat. His fangs were digging into her skin now, and she could already feel the delicious coolness starting to seep into her veins, quenching the terrible burning.
And then he stopped. She felt him withdraw, and whimpered again.
"I'm sorry," He murmured. "I can't."
Claire turned her face to the side, feeling her cheeks burning slightly with embarrassment.
"Why?"
He sighed, and brushed a strand of hair off her forehead.
"It's- different, for vampires. It means something. Ownership." He paused, letting her digest his words before continuing. "You must be able to feel it, Claire. All vampires have an instinctual aversion to being bitten by other vampires."
Claire shut her eyes, and thought. She imagined being bitten by Myrnin, and again she felt unmistakable desire start to course through her body. Then she imagined being bitten by someone else - anyone else - and barely managed to repress a shudder.
Myrnin felt it, though.
"See?"
She opened her eyes, watching his face. He looked satisfied, but - she thought - slightly disappointed. Claire let her eyes drift shut again, shaking her head.
"Not you." She said quietly.
"What?"
"Not you." She repeated firmly. "I don't feel it about you."
Myrnin was silent for some time, then finally came out with:
"Really?"
She nodded, biting her lip. Myrnin put his hand up to her mouth, gently pulling it out from between her teeth.
"Curiouser and curiouser." He murmured, his eyes still fixed on her lips. There was one more long moment of tension, and then a sly grin slid onto Myrnin's face. He leaned closer to Claire, placing his lips on her jugular.
"So if I were to do this..." His tongue flicked her neck, and she gasped, arching closer to him. "...You wouldn't mind?"
Claire tried to form a reply, but all that came out was an inarticulate, and clearly aroused groan. Myrnin chuckled, then tightened his grip around her suddenly, trapping her.
"And this?" He questioned. Claire's pulse jumped, but not out of fear. She clutched onto the edges of his coat again, pulling him against her. Myrnin brought a hand up to her neck, circling a small patch with his thumb. His mouth was next to her ear, and his breath caressed her as he whispered;
"And this?"
He lowered his head again, and Claire felt a sharp sting as his teeth pierced her skin. Then the pain was gone, replaced by shivering delight as her blood was drawn out. She moaned out loud, her hands sliding up inside his coat and over his shoulders. A delicious coldness started to spread out from the spot where Myrnin's teeth were buried in her neck.
She was aware of a guilty feeling niggling at her, as if she shouldn't be doing what she was doing. Claire knew, or thought she knew, that Myrnin would only have allowed this to happen if it was ok. But for the first time now, she wondered if he didn't have as little control over the situation as she did. Over his desires, and over his actions. If he wasn't pretty much just as confused as she was.
The thought both comforted and terrified her.
"Myrnin." She whispered, almost involuntarily. Then; "Myrnin, Myrnin, Myrnin."
Every nerve in her body felt alive and wired, but a fog had begun to descend on her mind after that one minute of brilliantly clear thinking. She lost track of how long he fed - eventually exhaustion closed in and her legs refused to support her any longer. Myrnin caught her easily, withdrawing his fangs with a small sigh.
Claire shivered as he ran his tongue over the wound, her senses spiking every time the contact sent a twinge of pain down her neck. Her body seemed to interpret the pain as pleasure, sending waves of it coursing through her, and effectively waking her up again.
Suddenly Myrnin pressed down hard on the bite with the tip of his tongue, making her gasp. As the wound slowly healed over he started to make his way up her neck, following her jawbone up to her ear and sucking the lobe playfully into his made a small, surprised sound in the back of her throat, and he growled quietly.
She moved one of her hands up to the back of his neck, tangling her fingers in the shorter hair there. Then she turned her head, her earlobe slipping from between Myrnin's teeth and her mouth finding the edge of his jawbone, copying his earlier movements. She followed the line of his jaw around the other way, her eyes closed, searching blindly for his lips. Claire placed gentle kisses along his jaw on the way, her hand floating up to cup the side of his face. Myrnin's arms were still wrapped around her, one hand at the small of her back and one in the middle of her shoulders.
She pressed closer to him as she finally found his mouth and ran her tongue hard along his top lip, then withdrew just as he opened his mouth, trying and failing to hold back a grin as she did so.
Myrnin felt her smile and growled, tightening his hold on her possessively and drawing her to his body.
"Tease." He murmured, bringing a hand up to twist a strand of her hair between his fingers. He traced her top lip with his tongue, lightly at first, then harder, demanding entrance. Claire kept her mouth resolutely shut until he distracted her by suddenly moving one hand to her chest, eliciting a gasp from her which turned into a moan.
As soon as her mouth opened, Myrnin attacked it with his tongue. She heard a low growl emanate from him when she still didn't reciprocate, but a moment later his hand found its way inside her shirt and she gave in with a shuddering groan.
Her hands fisted in his hair as she drew herself up to the same height as him, slipping her tongue into his mouth. She could still taste vestiges of her blood - which didn't disgust her as much as it should have - and Myrnin groaned softly as he turned his head to the side, allowing her better access.
A full minute of almost desperate kissing later he broke away, sighing deeply. His eyes were half-closed, and his hands ran gently up and down the sides of her arms. He pulled her into a relaxed hug, but when he spoke his voice belied him. It was tense and wavering, and he spoke so quietly that she almost couldn't hear him.
"I need you, you know. Little Claire. I need you."
The last part was barely a sigh, but Claire caught the slightly incredulous tone in his voice. His words went straight to her heart, and then proceeded to squeeze it, hard.
"Myrnin..." She breathed.
"It's true." He said, his voice stronger. Claire looked up, and he was gazing down at her, his brown eyes wide and his pupils dilated.
Her breath was stuck in her throat - she had no idea what to say, but suddenly she knew for certain that she needed him, too. She needed Myrnin to be there with her - needed him tethered to her somehow, needed to make him stay. She clutched him tighter suddenly, as if the mere thought of him not being there would make it happen.
"Stay." She whispered. Confusion crossed his features, and Claire almost growled in frustration at the words that refused to let her say them.
I need you too.
"I need you -to stay. With me. I need- you. "
Claire saw the disbelief in his face, quickly replaced with a controlled expression.
"Thank you." He said carefully, the corners of his mouth making an attempt at a smile. He didn't believe her.
"No." Claire had to stop herself from trying to shake him. "I mean it." She caught his gaze and held it, leaving her expression open and honest. "Please believe me. I do need you." She whispered, then her eyes lowered, her cheeks flaming in embarrassment. She ducked her head against his chest, her next words coming out muffled. "I need you, you stupid, mad, brilliant-"
The rest of her sentence was cut off as Myrnin tilted her head up, and his lips descended on hers again.
Whew. Right, unfortunately I cannot do review replies this time as my Grandmother is trying to sleep about two feet away from me, and I'm fairly sure her head will explode if I keep tapping on the computer keys. But still, you have my deepest gratitude for bothering to review and leave me some kind words. xxxxx
Edit: (02/01/2012) - Ok, I have time now, so here are the review replies for the last chapter:
ZoiPavi - Thank you muchly - what did you think of the new book? I thought that having the draug was taking it a little bit too far, myself. x
JayJayxRae - Thanks, I'm glad I can inspire anything in anyone! The truth is, I don't juggle this with my exams (I'm an extremely disorganised, lazy person) - that's why updates haven't been too frequent in the last six month. Exams. x
devilthroughandthrough - Sorry, I want them all to be friends as well - but apparently 'tis not to be... x
CrazySakhmet0024 - No, I agree completely with you - I think I have handled Claire becoming a vampire altogether very badly - but I have a plan that will make her behaviour much clearer! Thank you for the review, I'm just glad you took the time to write it! :P
Evey Claire - Ugh, I know, Shane and Claire in the books depress me :( x
Joyblossom - Wow, thank you so much for your review, it's absolutely lovely :D xxx
Kitty8900 - Ha, thanks! :)
insidegirl - Wow, thank you - you are definitely my favourite reviewer of the month! I like the fact that you mixed constructive criticism with enough compliments that I didn't get depressed! :D Here's to hoping you review again with some more observations - and don't worry, all - or most - should become clear over the next few chapters. xxxx
vampirejunkie - (Chap 19) - You are most welcome, I'm glad you liked it! Thank you for all your reviews so far! :) x
MinimallyMainstream - Ha, well I'm mentioning you again now! I am considering making this an 'M', but, truth be told, I have never written about that stuff in detail before, and it will probably be really bad. Also, I'll have to ask other readers what they want first. It'll probably happen though - in later chapters...:) P.s, don't worry about the verbal diarrhoea, it happens to me rather a lot... Happy Christmas and a Merry New Year to you too! :) xxx
Caroline - :D Thank you! I'm sorry that this got you in trouble, but really glad that you like it! I've written pretty much what I wanted to happen in the books, although I have (obviously) focused rather a lot on Myrnin and Claire, and dismissed the other characters... xxx
Margie22 - Yes, it has a long way to go yet! :) Thank you xx
OK, that's it. I would take to emailing replies, but then I'm sure I would forget some people... x
Oh, and Happy New Year to you all!