"We can still turn back," Olivia whispered into Alex's ear as she paused outside of the door. The blonde shook her head in response.
"Let's go in. We're already twenty minutes late," Alex replied as Olivia opened up the door for her, gesturing for her to enter the bar first. Olivia followed right behind her before they both caught sight of everyone gathered around a large table, making quite a ruckus.
Alex couldn't help but smile as she walked up to the group that is until her eyes landed on a familiar redhead. Olivia caught the blonde's hesitance and placed a soothing hand on her lower back, silently telling her that it would be fine. Alex hadn't talked to Casey since that day in her apartment and a part of her still felt as if the redhead hated her even though she proved the opposite countless number of times. Of course, next to Casey was Abbie, laughing and enjoying herself with an arm casually swung over the back of Casey's chair.
The redhead caught her gaze and smiled back, waving Alex and Olivia over to the empty seats on the opposite side of her. "There's the final counselor of the trio!" Elliot cheered out as he nodded at Alex as she reluctantly took a seat next to Casey. It's not that she didn't like Casey, she did, it was just that she couldn't stop the guilt that overwhelmed her every time she thought of the pain and suffering that the redhead went through because of her.
"It's nice to see so many familiar faces," Alex replied, glancing around at all of the detectives as Olivia took the seat next to her, scooting a bit closer which offered the blonde an unexplainable comfort.
"We've certainly missed you," Fin told her with the slightest smile since he wasn't one to share his emotions. "And Casey as well," He added as he looked over to the redhead. Even though they hadn't been working with either ADA for very long, SVU had a way of growing close to the point where everyone was considered family.
"I heard your new ADA is even better than those two combined!" Abbie exclaimed before receiving a shoulder nudge from her girlfriend.
"She's a total pain in the ass," Olivia mumbled as she flashed Abbie a grin. Since Alex had joined major case and Casey had been reassigned to homicide, they were left grasping at straws for a new ADA. Unfortunately, rather than being assigned a new ADA, a former ADA was assigned. One Ms. Abigail Carmichael and boy was she even more rambunctious than before.
"Am not!" Abbie replied as she took a swig of her beer with a pout on her face.
"Yeah, I like her," Munch quipped as he winked at Abbie which earned him a glare from Casey. Alex chuckled out at the exchange, finally feeling at ease around her friends. While she still thought regularly of her struggles, it seemed as if everyone else thought of her as the same person that she was before.
"Is Olivia still requesting warrants without any substantial evidence?" Alex teased as she tossed a grin at the detective.
"Did she ever stop?" Abbie quipped back. "She and Elliot are the worst! Last week they asked for a warrant for a judge's financials. Are ya'll trying to get me fired?"
"Maybe," Elliot replied with a suggestive eyebrow wag. Despite their teasing, all of the detectives enjoyed having Abbie back as their ADA because it was certainly better than having some fresh out of law school twenty-something year old.
Throughout the night, everyone fell into comfortable conversations, splitting off into smaller groups since it was so hard to talk at a table so full. Alex sat quietly for the most part, just enjoying the feeling of being surrounded by friends who didn't seem to have a care in the world as they built up their bar tab. A gentle touch on her arm stopped her observations and she turned to see Casey smiling at her. "So how have you been?"
Alex bit her lip slightly as she thought back to all the events that had taken place since her kidnapping. Images of Whiteman flashed through her mind before immediately being suppressed by images of her detective. She thought back to sleeping under an impromptu blanket fort with the brunette, being at the park with Olivia, Olivia taking care of her when she was sick, cuddling with the detective, and even kissing her. A small smile fought its way onto Alex's lips. "I've been happy."
Casey smiled in response, leaning a bit closer to the blonde. "I don't assume that has anything to do with the smiling detective next to you, does it?"
Alex chuckled softly as she glanced over at Olivia who was laughing her ass off at something Elliot had said. "You always knew," Alex contemplated as she turned back to Casey. "How?"
"How did you not know?" Casey countered with a raised eyebrow. "She's constantly giving off dozens of signs that she loves you."
Alex quirked an eyebrow as she frown slightly, resisting the urge to look at Olivia in hopes of seeing those signs. She never really understood why the detective had feelings for her in the first place, especially after what had happened to her. Though she'd never admit it to Olivia, she constantly wondered how the detective could stand looking at, not to mention touching, her marred body. "Sure I know that she has feelings for me but I don't think there are dozens of signs," Alex countered.
"She opens the door for you, she touches you in order to comfort you, she always positions herself towards strangers when she's with you, she defends you whether it's verbally or physically, she smiles when you're around, she talks about you constantly, shall I continue?"
"Okay, okay," Alex relented as she shook her head in response. "How'd you even know that she does all those things?"
Casey paused as she looked over at the detective and then back to her own girlfriend. "Because Abbie does those things for me, too." The redhead tilted her head slightly as she tried to read the thoughts that were rolling around in Alex's mind, suddenly recognizing that look. "You haven't told her yet, have you?"
Alex's head snapped up as she met Casey's gaze. She knew what the ADA was talking about but she wasn't sure she was ready to admit the truth to anyone, especially someone other than Olivia. The thought alone scared her. Loving someone more than life itself scared her.
The blonde thought back to one of the few appointments that she had with a psychologist. For the first time, she had openly discussed her feeling toward another woman only for the psychologist to tell her that she was trying to cling to something, someone in order to make herself feel complete. Alex had believed the woman for a while before rejecting the idea completely which resulted in her no longer seeing the psychologist. If there was one thing that she knew, it was that her feelings for Olivia were real; they weren't just something that she had because Olivia had been there for her through it all. Sure, it was probably a contributing factor but that wasn't the reason that she loved Olivia. "No," Alex finally replied as she ducked her head down, feeling a bit embarrassed at her admission.
"That's okay," Casey assured her as she glanced around the table once more, admiring the carefree feeling surrounding them. "She won't mind waiting." Alex looked back at her curiously. She had expected some rant about how life was too short and that we needed to tell people how we felt but that most certainly was not her response.
The words replayed in her mind, over and over again until she was wondering how true that statement was. Would Olivia be willing to wait so long? Hell, she had been waiting for Alex to feel comfortable around her for months already but that was different. She had her assault as an excuse as to why she didn't feel comfortable getting physical with the detective despite the fact that sometimes she wanted Olivia to go a little further than they currently were. But saying those three little words were different. She couldn't claim her assault had stopped her from loving because it most certainly did not. Would Olivia really wait as long as it took for her to finally become comfortable enough with herself to admit her feelings?
A soft touch on her leg pulled her out of her thoughts. She turned toward her detective who was still in a conversation with Fin and Elliot about some case. She smiled as Olivia drew slow circles with her finger against her leg, whether it was subconsciously or not, it was endearing. Alex placed her hand on top of Olivia's, earning herself a raised eyebrow from the detective. While Olivia had no problem with showing her feelings for Alex to the world, the blonde had been hesitant to initiate contact while in the public's eye. Alex squeezed the brunette's hand in response before intertwining their fingers.
Olivia carried on with her conversation for a few more minutes before she leaned over toward the blonde. Alex turned her head to the side, hiding Olivia's face from their curious friends as the detective brought her lips toward Alex's ear. "I'm so proud of you," Olivia whispered into her ear before hesitantly turning her head and quickly pressing a kiss against the blonde's cheek before withdrawing.
Of course she'd wait.