Letters of Regret

"Anyway," Gali said, "since you are here, I am interested in hearing your plans."

He then poured the contents of the bowl into a small cauldron. He sets it above one of the furnaces in the room.

"What do you mean?" Astramille sits down on a stool at the counter.

"Well," Gali chuckled, "I saw the kind of stuff you pulled off on Yuriy. Miraculous, you know?"

"Ah," Astramille nodded slowly, "but I have acknowledged that his recovery was by chance. The real miraculous cures of my world are as far out of my grasp as they are out of yours."

"Regardless," Gali said, stirring the cauldron, "what do you intend to do now? You can't hide in Lescatie forever."

Astramille understood what he meant. Lescatie is a big city-state, apparently the biggest on the Order Continent. A man can easily blend into the crowds. Except he has no soul and Aeris has made it known to him that some magic users will have unpleasant side effects from being near him. Seeing how Lescatie is crawling with heroes, he will almost certainly run into someone who will detect that he is That Guy.

"Damn it," Astramille loudly faceplants onto the counter, drawing a look from Gali that was a mix of shock, surprise and confusion "why the hell is my life going to the shits!? All the other isekai anime protagonists get to live their lives with harems of hot women, lots of useful stuff and bucketloads of power. The only things I have are a bunch of useless books and the only people I have around me are a bunch of religion fueled, goddess boosted death machines hell bent on turning me into mincemeat."

"Umm," Gali continued stirring the cauldron as he poured in some seeds, "I'm not trying to kill you? In fact, I think highly of you. Would you like to sit up?"

Astramille sighed, "No, just let me stay like this for a while."

Astramille thought back to all his actions ever since he entered this world. And against what his pride told him, Astramille recognized that he did little except causing clusterfuck after clusterfuck and all of it is now coming to bite him right in the nuts. Right off the bat, he told Sasha that he didn't believe in god. While he did justify that there was no evidence that divine beings existed in his world, there is no doubt they did in this one. Nor is there any doubt that people who deny god are seen as evil. So already, he attached a bad label to himself.

Then, he deliberately teased Elt, saying Sasha is his girl. Right in front of Wilmarina. The most powerful hero in Lescatie who is obsessed with him. Granted he isn't familiar with the lore but pissing of the most powerful hero in Lescatie was a bad move, in every conceivable measure.

Then to make matters worse, he revealed everything about himself to the monsters. Though technically, the jury is out on whether that was a smart move or a dumb one. On one hand, as an outsider with no spiritual energy or soul, the monster girls may have no interest in him. Except, Astramille has been openly associating with members of the Order. And without the ability to produce spiritual energy, there is no guarantee the monster girls would let him live. Especially since he attacked a werewolf with the intent of killing her and the whole event was witnessed by a kunoichi. On the other hand, Astramille is ultimately an outsider and has no real stake in the struggle between men and monster. Perhaps he could invoke diplomatic immunity with them and be more successful than with Aeris. Regarding the attack on the werewolf, Astramille could argue that he wasn't sure whether Nora was telling the truth about wanting only to play with him as opposed to tearing him into pieces. Besides, that ninja succubus called Hotaru seemed reasonable enough.

The curing of Yuriy's cholera was fine on its own. It was how Astramille handled himself after the curing that was bad. Openly challenging the authority of the princess by making that bet was stupid beyond words. In fact, when they first met in this place, when Yuriy was sick, Aeris seemed perfectly amicable with him. Sasha said that she wanted to meet with him and ask him some questions. She even offered her assistance to cure Yuriy. And Astramille openly opposed her claim that medicine men were not trustworthy. He even made a bet that he could cure Yuriy with the salt and sugar water mixture. Astramille won the bet, but then rubbed his victory in her face. In front of her sister, father and a bunch of nobles.

Even then, Aeris wasn't openly hostile towards him. She agreed to send him home with her magic. He was the one who messed up that interaction by alerting her that schematics for modern weapons may be on the loose. So Aeris did the reasonable thing and told him to find it, for he was responsible for the loss and such an act endangered Lescatie. Perhaps he didn't think it was reasonable, seeing how he understood very well that it was impossible to make an operation firearm out of those pictures, but Aeris didn't know that. So, she had to err on the side of caution to protect her people.

A nd how did Astramille show his gratitude to a powerful princess who is probably used to getting whatever she wanted, literally got headaches from being around him and had to repeatedly swallow her pride to accommodate him? By acting like a total ass. Hardly surprising that Aeris wanted to kill him. And finally, he just had to claim that she was going to die a saggy old maiden. What a nice thing to say to a lady.

Goddamn it, Keiichi, Astramille thought to himself, you better call yourself Ass-tramille. As in, Dumbass-tramille.

The best thing he could have done is to lie low. Use the grey man skills to blend in. While his lack of a soul may still cause some reactions, it should be easy for him to move around at night. Having a stack of books may complicate things, especially since they are otherworldly in origin. That is what a rational person would do.

So, why did Astramille do so much stupid crap? Contemplation brought out the answer. It was because he was arrogant. Astamille believed that being in another medieval fantasy world would be as easy for him as for any other isekai protagonist. Even though there were signs that the world is more like a realistic medieval one, if magic and monsters were ignored. The atrocious conditions of the slums, the abject poverty, the oppressive theocracy and the open persecution of heretics were only some of the warnings. It was like Natsuki Subaru's isekai adventure, except he didn't have the ability to come back from the dead.

Astramille sat up, his hair messed and forehead red from the impact of the faceplant.

"Alright," he said, "I have made so many mistakes since I came to this world. And I have a feeling that I won't live long enough to rectify them."

So, how can he get out of his situation? Not many ways. It's not like he can go crawling back to Noscrim. The High Priest already got what he wanted, which was tips on how to get rid of Elt. And after Astramille demonstrated himself to be a person who is looking out for number one and is willing to back out of agreements, it is unlikely that Noscrim will help him again.

"Ha," Astramille chuckled, "ah, I have been so stupid. I looked down at the people of this world with arrogance. I believed that because they are where our world was a thousand years ago, I was superior to them. That because I had a better education I was smarter than them. And thus this is my retribution. Being alone inside Lescatie with a killer on my tail and no one willing to support me."

"I am," said a female voice.

Turning to face the speaker, Gali and Astramille see Eristia standing at the door, Yuriy behind him.

"Eristia?" asked Gali, "Yuriy?"

"I heard that little self-reflection of yours," the hero smiled, "and it was surprisingly honest. You don't get that often. Besides, you did help my squire survive a potentially deadly disease."

She sits on the stool next to his, "So, mister soulless, who is this killer on your tail? I can help you…dispatch him."

Astramille laughed, "It's princess Aeris. Do you remember that she once promised me to send me back to my world?"

Eristia nodded, "I didn't hear it myself, but I have overheard from other heroes. Mimil spoke to me, asking about you. Apparently, she thinks you are a suspicious character."

"Well," Astramille replied, "Aeris was unable to send me back to my world, so she decided to try to send me to the next world, of you catch my meaning. Of course, I admit was being implicitly heretical and disrespectful to her. Now, I imagine she is asking around, trying to find me to finish me off."

"Well," Eristia seemed hesitant, "it's not like I can go against her. I'd definitely lose to her in a fight even if I did."

"That is why," Astramille replied, "I need to leave Lescatie."

"Well," Eristia laughed, "that can be arranged. So, where are you looking for?"

"The librarian Stella told me that to the east of the Gaulberian nations lie the various nations of the Sax-Juton peoples," Astramille replied, "and to the north the Gothians. I am not even going to stay in a Gaulberian nation."

Eristia frowned, "That is really far away, you know. In fact, I don't even know where that is other than it is to the East."

"Ah," Gali suddenly said, "I know where you speak of. Welsple was founded by a disciple of Saint Alice Welsple. In contrast to other saints and heroes who were more spiritual, Saint Welsple was interested in studying the material world and using it to benefit humanity. Her reception was mixed. Some saw that she was merely using the creations of the Chief God instead of directly relying on her powers. Others thought she was playing god by changing the natural order by creating new things."

Astramille nodded, "Well, she I would get along."

"She's been dead for four hundred years," Gali said, "and one of her loyal followers who took her family name founded the nation. The name was Dean Welsple, the first monarch of the nation. To this day, Welsple studies the material world in the same way magic is studied here in Lescatie. Not only do they have medicine, but also wonderful machines that do not operate on magic. Yet it seems that even with their machines, they cannot effectively combat monsters. The Sax-Juton nations are perhaps the weakest on the continent."

"So," Astramilled asked, "do you know da way?"

"Yeah," Gali chuckled, "I've even got a map. I'll get it for you when I am done with this potion."

"You know," Astramille said, "it is very kind of you."

"Hey," Yuriy said, "you did save my life. So, if we can't stop the princess, the least we can do is to help you leave Lescatie."

Astramille nodded. So it seems not everything is as hopeless as he thought. He might just be able to get out alive.

"Another favor," Astramille said, "I need a few letters written and delivered before I escape Lescatie."

"Oh?" Eristia seemed interested, "Do already have a lover who you must abandon?"

Astramille made a face that conveyed disdain, "Sorry, I'll prefer a girl from my world."

It was, of course, a lie. He'd rather stay on his own. That lifestyle is his favorite. He certainly didn't like having more people in his life to answer to and in this day and age, a partner has definitely become one.

"Seriously," Yuriy said, "you're really going to venture out in the wild like that? There are monsters out there, you know? That dagger isn't going to help you."

"Let me see," Eristia suddenly looked interested, "the dagger."

Astramille handed Adelais' dagger to Eristia who examined it carefully.

"Yep," she nodded, "the design of the hilt and handle reflects a Gothian heritage. And if that wasn't enough, the magic resting within the blade would definitely give it away."

Eristia narrowed her eyes at Astramille, "How did you get this?"

"A gift from Princess Adelais," replied Astramille, showing her a Adelais' letter with her seal, "proving what I did here in Lescatie is all real. It is an artefact that my world cannot replicate for all the technology it has. It will prove to the authorities of my world that I did indeed spend a period of time in another world."

Astramille takes the dagger back and puts it in the sheath.

"But I suppose," he sighed, "now it will be proof to foreign monarchs that I am capable of pulling odd miracles."

Night has fallen upon the orphanage in the slums. The sky has darkened, allowing the stars to show their faces. Sasha stood at the gate of her orphanage, looking around anxiously. It has been hours since Astramille fled the wrath of princess Aeris, who stormed out after him. Given that he hasn't been executed and had his body hung from some high point, is can be assumed he is alive and has evaded the princess. But he still hasn't come back and that was worrying.

"Damn it, Sasha," Primera complained, "he's got away, alright? Why do you worry about him so?"

"Indeed," Victor said, "he is not a child. He is a young man, old enough to look after himself. And big enough too. He is pretty tall and fairly well built."

"But the king made him my servant," Sasha said worriedly, "I am responsible for his safety."

"Forget about him," Primera grunted, "who cares about that soulless freak? Just being near that guy makes me feel uncomfortable. Come on, let's eat. Mimil's mother made a decent meal for us."

Just then, a person in blue rode up to the orphanage. She gets off the horse and walks to Sasha. Removing her cloak, she reveals herself to be Eristia.

"General Fullmoon," she said, "I assume you are waiting for news about the soulless servant of yours?"

"Yes," Sasha nodded vigorously, "do you know his whereabouts?"

"Not precisely," Erisita shook her head, "he told me he was escaping Lescatie. But first, he told me to deliver a series of letters.

Eristia hands one letter to Sasha before jumping onto her horse.

"Wait," Sasha said, "if you can find him before he gets out…can you convince him to stay?"

Eristia chuckled, "Astramille said he knew you'd say something like that. He told me that when you do so, I reply with the question of whether you can convince Aeris to not hunt him. Most importantly, Astramille said to not worry about him. Look, just read the letter."

Eristia then rode away.

Entering the orphanage, Sasha quickly walks over to the table and unfolds the papers.

Hello, General Fullmoon. By the time you are reading this, I would have already left Lescatie. I am sorry to leave without telling you, but with princess Aeris on my tail, I have no choice. However, this letter is also a confession. As you are well aware, I came from a world that is enlightened and technologically advanced. Thus, when I laid eyes upon this theocracy where the religious authorities ruled, where the poor lived in squalor and where the military is backward, I arrogantly assumed that I was better. The bad encounter with Aeris changed that.

It's quite funny how much Aeris has changed me. Looking back at our interactions, I can safely say that my foolishness and heresy was responsible for her attitude towards me. Do you still remember when we first met Aeris in Gali's shop? Despite her skepticism about me, she was kind and reasonable, even offering to pay the costs for Yuriy's treatment. It was only after I repeatedly demonstrated that I believed that I was above her did she truly turn hostile.

I suppose I abused my luck. Now I have no left while I remain in this city. So I have one choice left. I shall travel leave Lescatie. I shall travel far from this land. Perhaps to the Gothian nations, where the blade that Adelais gifted me was forged. Perhaps east to Zipangu, which appears to be a reflection to the ancient times in my homeland, Japan. I will leave my books behind, so the knowledge within them can be studied by those who will not burn them out of religious fanaticism. In fact, I have chosen Stella to watch over the books. I have written to her, telling her that she can come and collect them whenever she pleases. They shall be my final gift to the people whom I failed.

It will be with all of my strength, tenacity, cunning and defiance to fate that I face any challenge that I meet outside the walls of Lescatie.

Keiichi Kinjo

Meanwhile, back at Gali's store, Astramille sat with Gali and Yuriy.

"So," asked Gali, "you aren't leaving immediately?"

"No," Astramille shook his head, "I guarantee that Sasha will make a fuss and try to find me. Aeris will probably dedicate forces to chase me as well. I can't outrun heroes blessed by the Chief God or cavalry troops. So I will wait for a day or two when things have died down. But for now, I must plan. Sorry, Gali, but I might have to stay for a while."

"Eh," the man said, "no problem, as long as you tell me more about the medicine and treatments from your world, I'll be fine."