A close call with James earlier in the week left Remus on edge before the transformation, which was never good for his meeting with the wolf. He awoke with a start in considerable pain and with blood flowing from his neck.

Remus knew from years of transforming that the worst thing to do when you wake up bleeding profusely is to panic - panic made blood run faster. He also knew it was best not to move, unless of course you could staunch the bleeding.

It was funny - the prospect of his secret being found out had sent him into panic mode in the past, but he was able to control his emotions well enough in the life-threatening scenario.

So he did nothing but lay on the floor and pray to his mother's muggle God that he wouldn't die on the floor before Madam Pomfrey found him. He heard her footsteps and the dismayed sound that came from deep in her throat as she approached, then lost consciousness.

His first thought when he opened his eyes in his little isolation room in the hospital Wing hours later was "Oh, it seems it wasn't my time to die."

He didn't realize he'd said it out loud until he heard a woman's voice chuckle.

"No, dear boy, and thank Merlin for that."

It was Professor Cadance, who was sitting in a chair next to his bed with a stack of parchments on her lap he assumed must be grading. She leaned over and grabbed a cup of water off his bedside table and directed the straw toward his mouth.

"I was left with strict instructions from Poppy to make sure you drank some water as soon as you awoke," she said.

He gulped the clear liquid gratefully. "Did you know that 11 percent of registered werewolves confined during full moons die of self-inflicted injuries?" His throat was raw and speech hurt, but it felt very important that he tell her that fact.

"I did not, and I must say that's a horrifying statistic," she responded, placing the cup back on the table once he'd finished.

"Really?" He asked. "I always found it a hopeful one. Unlike this - 94 percent of registered werewolves in Great Britain are chronically unemployed, five percent find employment with muggles and the remaining one percent are paid to be test subjects for various werewolf research." He wasn't sure why he was bringing this up, but once he'd started talking, he couldn't stop. "Of course, most werewolves don't have wands, so their employment options in the wizarding world are limited. In fact, most who were bitten as children never finish or even start their magical education, so they wouldn't know how to use a wand anyway."

The witch closed her eyes and pursed her lips as if she were in pain.

"I'm sorry," he said quietly. "I'm not sure why I brought that up." It was not like him to wallow in self-pity. After all, a werewolf hardly deserved that.

"Did you know, there was a time in the not so distant past muggleborn unemployment hovered around 75 percent?" She told him

Remus blinked. "I did not know," he told her.

"Oh yes," she said. "It was the 1930s and outside of Britain Gellert Grindelwald was gaining power. But we had enough problems back home. A particular political faction of purebloods had was pushing a nasty piece of legislation that required that all Ministry employees have at least one magical parent. Plenty of private businesses were already implementing such discriminatory practices, though there were some places, like Hogwarts, that welcomed any witch or wizard with the appropriate skills."

"That's awful," Remus said, thinking of his mother. "Why did people have such a problem with muggles?"

"Remus, dear, surely you're smart enough to understand how deeply ingrained prejudices can run, even if there's no basis in reality," the professor told him. "But allow me to tell you something else you don't know that may cheer you up."

Remus waited expectantly, not sure what she could say that would make him feel better for the status of muggleborns and half bloods, like himself.

"By 1946 they'd eliminated both voluntary and involuntary muggleborn registries and several years after that stopped tracking muggleborn unemployment as anything other than general wizarding unemployment. Can you imagine why?" She asked.

He shook his head.

"Because after years of fighting both physically and politically, another political faction, made up of both pureblood and muggleborn alike, pushed back and fought for what they believed was right. That, and after years of debate and discussion, culture changed, and private businesses stopped prescribing to the idea that muggleborns were any less valuable as employees than anyone else." She smiled at him. "These things don't happen overnight, my dear. Nor do they happen without a lot of fuss along the way. But progress does happen. And Professor Dumbledore is a good person to have on your side."

"I guess I have to just stay alive long enough to see it," Remus quipped. In truth, he couldn't imagine any progress on the worldview on werewolves. After all, turning into a monster created more of a problem than simply being born to muggle parents.

She patted him on the knee. "I suppose one as young as you can't imagine how drastically the world can change. But it can. And it will."

"How?"

"It starts small. Perhaps with the first werewolf ever granted attendance at Hogwarts. Perhaps as that person makes friends and shows the world the kind of person he is, things can start to change."

Remus snorted. "I doubt I'd have any friends if they knew the truth of what I was," he said.

"I wouldn't be so sure," she told him calmly. "But enough of that talk - I'm sure Poppy will want to check on you now that you're awake.

Remus sighed. The intellectual stimulation of the conversation had made him forget his pains for a moment. Now they rushed back. "How long have I been out, anyway?" He asked.

"It's about 8 p.m., dear. I imagine you're hungry.

He sighed again. "I suppose I'll be missing a few days of class this time," he said mournfully. Suddenly, he became aware of the feeling of bandages around his neck, and felt cold. He wouldn't be able to hide his injury from his friends, or the rest of the students, in his typical robes, which had only a small collar.

His realization must have showed on his face, because Professor Cadance looked alarmed. "What's wrong, Remus? You've just gone white."

"James and Sirius," he said. "They'll notice my injuries and ask questions." Those two were always asking questions - they couldn't help themselves. But it could mean disaster if he couldn't come up with a good answer - and what kind of excuse could he possibly make for a slash across his neck?

He was tired, he was chronically sick in the worst way, and even with an understanding ear from Professor Cadance, he was feeling hopeless again. It was just too impossible to believe that things might be better someday, when they felt so hopeless today.

/

Lily was so furious over the book Severus gave her she skipped their planned meeting Friday, knowing that if she spoke to him in anger they would only fight.

She hung around the Common Room Saturday catching up on homework, unwilling to run the risk of running into him while she worked out what to say about the awful things in the book. She had read through the entire thing to determine for herself if blood magic was as nefarious as Potter and Black had suggested, and she did feel, based on the later spells in the book, that they may be right. It was impossible that Severus didn't know what was in the book - he always read things through before recommending them to her.

Finally, Sunday he came looking for her, grabbing Eliza in the Great Hall and asking her to deliver the message.

Slightly softened by the fact that he'd braved the Gryffindor table looking for her, Lily left the Gryffindor Common Room for the library, where he said he'd be waiting. She brought the book with her.

"Why did you skip our meeting Friday?" he asked when she approached. He looked hurt.

"This is why," she said, throwing the book down on the table.

He looked confused. "You didn't like the book?"

"No Sev, I didn't like the book," she told him sternly. "Do you realize what kinds of things this book suggests?"

"I don't understand," he said. "I wasn't suggesting you try any of the more advanced spells, I just thought you'd find it interesting."

"You thought I'd find blood sacrifice interesting?" she asked in disbelief. "There's a spell in here that calls for 5 litres of human blood. Do you realize how much that is? You'd have to die, or kill for that."

He scoffed. "Or simply be prepared with plenty of blood-replenishing potion. Honestly Lily, I think you're overreacting."

She shook her head. "This is a book of Dark Arts, Sev. This isn't the way magic should be used."

"Who decides what way magic should be used?" He countered. "Who decides what gets labeled a dark art, what should and shouldn't be taught in schools? You know, there's a school in Africa that teach students the Animagus transformation. In Britain you have to be of age and registered with the ministry to even attempt it. Whoever decided that?"

She didn't know what an Animagus transformation was, but the way he was talking made Lily uncomfortable. "That's different. Some things are just wrong, Sev."

"Like what? Killing people?" He asked. "Of course it sounds wrong on paper, Lily."

"Not just on paper - " He raised a finger to indicate he wasn't done and she paused.

"Of course killing for the sake of killing is wrong, Lily. But what if it's kill or be killed? What if you could pause a moment in time to save a friend's life? What if calling forth a werewolf was the only way you could protect your family?"

She shook her head back and forth furiously. "There has to be a better way than what's in this book!" She practically shouted, forgetting they were in the library.

He was quiet for a moment and rubbed his temples. "You're always so set in your ways once you decide something," he said. "But you used to wait to make decisions until you talked it over with me."

"You used to be my only key to the magical world, Sev," she told him. "But now that I'm seeing more and more of it, there are some things I can decide for myself."

He looked at her sadly. "I know you're able to decide for yourself. I just wish you would talk things over with me like you used to - to consider for a moment that a different point of view may exist."

And there it was - he always seemed to say the things that would make her stand down - so unlike Potter, who usually just fired her up more.

She cracked her knuckles to buy herself a moment to decide what to say. "What if we agree to disagree on this?"

His expression immediately brightened. "That seems reasonable. And perhaps we can return to this discourse as a later time?"

His sudden change of mood made her laugh in spite of herself. "Return to this discourse? Where did you learn to talk like that?"

"Malfoy," he admitted. "He says how you present yourself is one of the biggest indicators of your breeding. He's been giving me etiquette lessons."

"Your breeding? You're not a dog."

"It makes it easier to blend in among the Slytherins," he said with a shrug. "Sometimes being a good actor can be a useful skill."

While she didn't agree that one should pretend to be something they're not, she knew her friend had been struggling with his housemates and if he'd found a way to cope, she wasn't going to criticize.

Deciding to take advantage of a rare chance to spend time with Severus at school, she suddenly had an idea.

"Sev, it's a beautiful afternoon - what if we take a stroll out on the grounds?"

"A stroll on the grounds?" He repeated, looking skeptical.

"Come on, we used to spend hours outside at home exploring," she urged. What she left unsaid was the fact that they were outside to avoid Petunia and his parents.

He checked the clock. "I suppose a short adventure could be fun."

"Of course it will be," she said happily, grabbing his arm and pulling him up before he could change his mind. "Grab your bag and let's go."

And that was how the pair wound up behind Hagrid's hut staring at the Forbidden Forest.

"Surely it's forbidden for a reason," Lily whispered, though she could feel her curiosity getting the best of her.

"My mother told me in her time there was no explicit rule about the forest. Once, a boy went in, on a dare from other students - no doubt he was a Gryffindor - and didn't return for days. They sent a search party for him and he was eventually returned by a group of Centaurs who said they found him walking circles in a clearing deep in the forest. He wouldn't tell anyone what happened to him in there and he was never the same afterward. That was around the time they ruled it forbidden."

"I wonder what he saw," Lily said. She was still staring at the forest with interest. There was what appeared to be a trailhead where they were standing - she imagined Hagrid must venture into the forest from time to time, doing whatever it was magical gamekeepers did. "Do you think Hagrid would take us in, if we asked politely?"

Her friend snorted. "Why would you want to go in?"

"With all the reading we do on magical creatures, aren't you curious to see some in real life?" She asked. "There must be all kinds in there. You just mentioned Centaurs."

He snorted again, louder this time. "Running into a Centaur probably wouldn't be too bad, but there are rumors there are things like acromantula in the forest."

"Acro-what?"

"Giant spiders," he said. "The older students also say there are werewolves, but I think that's unlikely - werewolves are in their human form most of the month - I imagine without a wand you wouldn't stand much chance against the other things in that forest."

"Why don't werewolves have wands?" Lily asked him. She did this partially because he liked being the expert on things, but also because she genuinely wanted to know.

"Lily, be reasonable. Werewolves are depraved creatures - have you heard about the kind of slaughter that happens when one gets loose on a full moon? They can't be trusted with wands."

But everything I've read suggests they only lose their minds during the full moon. How do they survive the rest of the time if they're not allowed a wand?"

He shrugged. "Scraping the bottom of the bin, I imagine. What does it matter? They're not truly human anymore - they're beasts."

Something deep in her gut told Lily that it should matter, but she didn't know much about werewolves and didn't want to start an argument. So she just shrugged.

"I still imagine the forest must be full of things worth seeing," she said, trying to change the subject. "Someone told me there are unicorns in there. I'd love to see one up close."

"Then take Care of Magical Creatures," he said. "Honestly, there's no reason to go into that forest. That's just the Gryffindor in you talking. Use your head."

She found herself irked by the jab at her House, and was starting to wonder why exactly she'd been so keen to spend time with Severus, when he spoke again.

"Would you like to walk around the lake?" He asked her. "I know how much you love being near the water."

Her annoyance vanished. "Oh yes, let's do that," she said with a smile.

He smiled back at her. "I hear there's a cliff on the north side with an incredible view of the castle. Let's see if we can find it." He held out his hand, and she took it.

So they were both growing up, she thought as they headed for the lake. Their friendship was bound to have growing pains as that happened. But he was still her Severus. They didn't have to agree on everything to be best friends.

Or so she convinced herself.

/

"Lupin, what the bloody hell are you wearing?" Sirius burst out as soon as his friend walked through the dormitory door Wednesday morning.

"'Hello Remus, how's your mum? We've been thinking of you,'" James added quickly. "That is how one greets a friend who's been off visiting an ailing relative, Black," he said, shooting the other boy a look. Remus had been gone the whole weekend and two days of class on top of that, and James had been rather concerned that meant he'd return with bad news. Remus looked a bit tired and strained, but there were no obvious signs of grief that would suggest the worst had happened. James again had to wonder if Remus' mother was really sick, or if it was just some kind of excuse to hide some darker secret.

"She's doing better now, thank you James," Remus said. "And it's a cravat, Sirius. My mother gave it to me while I was home. She says it looks smart."

Sirius snorted. "I know what it's called - my mother makes me wear one with my dress robes. But why in the world are you wearing one?"

"I told you, my mother gave it to me," he said.

"Well your mother isn't here now," Sirius said, stepping forward and reaching forward. "You don't have to wear that ridiculous thing here - she'll never know the difference." He almost had his hand around the fabric when James saw the look on Remus' face and alarm bells went off.

"Don't go around manhandling people, Black," he said quickly, doing exactly that by grabbing Sirius by the scruff and pulling him back with a powerful yank before the bigger boy could strip Remus of his new accessory. "If Remus wants to wear something his mother gave him, it's his prerogative."

"Doesn't it make you feel constricted?" Peter asked. "I don't even like to wear a neck tie."

Remus shrugged. "I find it feels very cozy, especially in this drafty castle," he said. "Now, if you excuse me, I want to get down to breakfast early. I'm starving."

"Oh, me too!" Peter squealed. "Let me just grab my bag."

Sirius made a motion as if to join them but James shot him a look and he hung back. One the other two had left, the best friends turned to each other.

"I'll bet money he's wearing that thing to hide something on his neck," Sirius hissed. "That's why I was trying to take it off."

"I know it was," James hissed back. "But did you really think the best way to confront the issue would be to strip him of his security blanket in front of all of us? He's obviously hiding it for a reason."

"He doesn't have to hide anything from us, we're his friends!" Sirius said. "And if he's hurt, he needs help - help we can't give him if he won't tell us what's wrong!"

"Every man has his pride, Black," James said. "Maybe he doesn't want to ask for our help."

"Bollocks!" Sirius cried. "He's lying to us about something - something to do with his sick mum - and I for one don't appreciate being lied to."

"Quiet down," James said. "I don't like it either. But if we have any hope of staying friends with Lupin, we can't just force his secrets out. He's obviously embarrassed by it, if he won't tell us."

"Maybe Lupin doesn't see us as good friends as we see him," Sirius grumbled, looking rather put out.

"Oh, don't be like that," James said. "We're his friends, and he's our friend. He must have a good reason for hiding whatever it is he's hiding." Privately, James thought Sirius should understand that there were things people wanted to hide, considering he obviously hid aspects of what went on at home from his friends as well. But James wasn't going to push Sirius - at the moment, Lupin's problem seemed more pressing. "Now, I don't want to hear another word about the cravat. Humiliating him won't help anything."

Unfortunately, as cravats weren't exactly the height of fashion, James and Sirius soon found themselves defending their friend's attire to hostile parties. Namely, Narcissa Black.

"What is the little halfblood wearing?" she said in a stage whisper to Brynany Selwyn as the two groups crossed paths in the corridor on the way to Charms.

James felt Sirius bristle next to him, but Remus just kept walking as if he hadn't heard. Being ignored didn't suit Narcissa, so she laid it on thicker.

"You know, on a real man, like Lucius, that thing might start a trend. But on a scrawny little halfblood…" She clucked her tongue.. "I just don't know what my cousin is thinking with the company he keeps…"

James grabbed Sirius' wrist before he could grab his wand. "Don't rise." He breathed. "Not like this. That's what she wants."

"Potter, you never let me have any fun anymore," Sirius whined, trying to shake his arm loose.

James raised an eyebrow. "I said not like this. I didn't say not at all."

Sirius immediately stopped struggling. "What do you have in mind?"

James grinned. "Something...messy."

After classes that day, James and Sirius excused themselves from Remus and Peter to take a covert trip down to Hagrid's. James knew from casual conversation last year that Hagrid collected unicorn dung to fertilize the gardens in the fall.

"How are we going to get it inside?" Sirius asked, frowning. The buckets Hagrid left against the side of his hut were large and would be obvious to carry inside. The boys would need two hands to carry one - and even covered with the invisibility cloak, it could get awkward, and therefore risky.

James examined the bucket then sighed. "Sacrifices have to be made for the greater good," he said. He held up his bag. "I emptied it before we came down."

Sirius wrinkled his nose. "You're a better man than I, Potter."

James grinned. "Well we already knew that," he said. "Now come on, I found a spell that will mask the smell long enough to get it passed the entrance hall. Where are we headed after that?"

"Narcissa and Malfoy have a standing date on Wednesdays in the library, the accounting section." Sirius said. "No one ever goes there. She always shows up first - all we have to do is get in and out of there before Malfoy shows up."

"Brilliant." James said. With that, he grabbed a shovel and began piling the dung into his bag.

"Think the house elves will be able to get that out?" Sirius asked, still wrinkling his nose.

"I think I have to write home for a new bag," James said.

Fully loaded, the boys scampered back up to the castle and into the library, which was relatively empty.

"OK, we smear it under the table so when she pulls her chair in it rubs off on her legs," Sirius instructed, pulling on his dragonhide gloves for the jobs.

"Why not put it directly on the chair?" James asked.

Sirius shook his head. "Too noticeable - she may see it before she takes a seat and then we'll have wasted our time."

"Fair enough," James said, putting on his own gloves and getting to work.

The boys worked quickly, unsure of how long the anti-stench smell would hold out, then huddled under the invisibility cloak and waited for their target.

Narcissa showed up first and alone, as Sirius had predicted. She walked into and dropped her bag on the ground without so much as a glance around, then pulled out the chair.

She slid under the table, then leaned over and pulled a book from her bag as if nothing was amiss. James had to cover Sirius' mouth to muffle the sound of his giggles.

A minute or two passed before their spell wore off, but the moment it did, the girl wrinkled delicate nose. She began looking around, then, with a horrified look, pushed her chair back and looked at her legs.

Her shriek was so loud James was sure they heard it all the way up in Gryffindor Tower. Madam Pince, the frigid librarian, came tearing around the stacks a moment later.

"This is a library!" She said shrilly. But Narcissa just kept screaming.

Lucius Malfoy, no doubt drawn in by his girlfriend's cries, came rushing around a stack a moment later. "Cissy, dear, what's wrong? And what is that awful smell?"

"It's all OVER me," she cried. She was now standing up and streaks of the curiously sparkly dung were obvious on her black robes.

Lucius pulled out his wand. "I'll just vanish it," he said.

"No!" She ordered him. "I've seen your vanishing spells - you'll probably vanish my robes along with it!"

The boy looked affronted. "Surely not."

"Who would DO such a thing? In the LIBRARY?" Madam Pince was saying.

"Time to go," James whispered to Sirius, who was doubled over trying to stay quiet. The boys made off for the safety of the Gryffindor Common Room, leaving the chaos of their prank behind them.

It wasn't until they gave the Fat Lady the password and were crawling through the portrait hole that James realized he'd made a grievous error - he'd left his bag still half full of unicorn dung behind.

/

Sirius Black was no stranger to getting into trouble, but this was something else.

"You left your BAG?" He asked his best friend, incredulous. They were back in their dormitory with Remus and Peter, who had been briefed on what just happened. James Potter's bag was of the high-quality leather variety and embossed with his name.

"I know, I know," James groaned.

"But do you really know?" Sirius said, his voice unnaturally high. "Do you have any idea what my mother is going to do when she finds out?" He could never go home again, he decided right then and there. His mother would torture him into madness for this - picking on the girls had never been tolerated at home, and this was far beyond anything he'd ever been brave enough to attempt before.

"McGonagall won't write your mom if you ask her not to," James said.

"I'm not sure that's true," Remus said softly. "This is a fair bit worse than anything you've been caught doing before."

"Even if McGonagall doesn't write, Narcissa will," Sirius moaned. "The ink on the letter will be done before McGonagall even determines our punishment." He felt himself shaking. Why had he ever thought pranking his cousin would be a good idea?

"Black, calm down," James said. "It's my bag. I'll take the fall."

"I can't let you do that," Sirius gasped. "Malfoy will target you for the next two years."

James shrugged. "It's my bag," he repeated. "And it was my idea."

"Why did you two decide to go after Narcissa anyway?" Remus asked.

Sirius and James exchanged a look, which did not go unnoticed by Remus.

"Why?" He asked again in a sterner voice.

"The cravat," James admitted. "She was picking on you and -"

Remus cut him off by throwing his hands up in the air. "Are you KIDDING me?" He said. Sirius couldn't help but flinch - Lupin didn't shout often and it wasn't pleasant when he did. "I've told you two before - I know better than to let simple words like that get under my skin."

"That doesn't make those kinds of words right," James snapped back. "Someone has to stand up to those snotty purebloods. No offense, Black."

"None taken," Sirius said, though he was feeling weary. "You can't take the blame, Potter. Besides, they'll assume I was with you."

"Not if Lupin provides you with an alibi," James said, turning to the sandy-haired boy.

"You want me to cover for your moronic mistake?" Remus asked, shaking his head.

"No, I fully intend to pay the consequences for my moronic mistake," James said. "What I want you to do is cover for Sirius to protect him from his mad family."

Sirius glared at him. How is it that Potter always saw through him so shrewdly?

Next to him, Remus was sighing. "Well when you put it that way…"

"Good man," James said as a knock sounded on the door.

"Come in!" Peter called. The door opened to reveal Kingsley Shacklebolt..

"Potter, McGonagall wants you in her office, now," he said.

"Oh my, I wonder what the dear professor wants," James said lightly. Shacklebolt gave him a long-suffering look. "Best not to keep her waiting, then." He gave his friends a little wave and followed the prefect out.

When the door shut behind them, no one spoke for a moment.

"You know, you really shouldn't put yourself at risk over me," Remus finally said to Sirius.

Sirius rolled his eyes. "Save it, Lupin. Someone has to have your back."

"Covering my back shouldn't mean sticking out your neck," the other boy countered. "Your mother would be furious."

"I can handle my mother," Sirius lied.

"Can you?" Remus countered.

There was a determined look in his friend's eyes that stopped Sirius from answering. He feared Remus, like James, would be able to see through him if he spoke. And he wasn't ready for them to know the truth. So he lashed out.

"I can handle my mother better than you handle yours," he spit out. "I bet she's not as sick as you say - you just can't help but run home every time she comes calling because you're nothing more than a little mama's boy. This whole mess is because you wouldn't take that ridiculous thing off your neck."

Peter gasped from behind him. Sirius knew he had just said something many people would consider unforgivable - to insinuate Remus' mother wasn't sick, and worse, to insult him for tending to her - was an awful thing to do no matter how you looked at it.

Lupin's hand went to the cravat on his neck and eyes blazed. "At least my mother isn't ashamed of what I am."

Sirius felt like he'd been hit by a Stunning spell. Never, in his wildest dreams, would he ever have imagined that Remus Lupin could say something so cruel.

"Remus!" Peter squeaked, but the sandy-haired boy ignored him, instead opting to pick up his bag.

"I'm going to go work on my Transfiguration essay," Remus said in a level voice. "Don't wait up."

With that, we walked out of the room with Sirius still unable to speak.

After the door slammed, he could feel Peter staring at him, obviously afraid to speak.

"I suppose I deserved that," Sirius said finally.

The smaller boy made a sympathetic sound. "It's not true," he said.

"But it is," Sirius told him with a shrug. "Lupin is nothing if not insightful."

Peter frowned. "OK, maybe there's some truth to it. But just because she's ashamed of what you are, doesn't mean you should be."

Sirius gave Peter an appraising look. Just as he'd never expected Remus to be so cruel, he was surprised that Peter could say something so kind. It made him smile in spite of himself.

"Thanks, Petey," he said. Then he sighed. "But I'm ashamed of me right now. Why can't I keep my stupid mouth shut?"

"I'm sure Remus will forgive you if you apologize," Peter told him. "He's not the type to hold a grudge."

Sirius wasn't so sure of that - he had seen the betrayal in Lupin's eyes. He was so preoccupied with replaying that in his mind he almost missed what Peter said next.

"Besides, he's clearly hiding something under that thing around his neck. I'm sure that has something to do with what just happened, and frankly, I'd like to know what's going on with him."

Sirius rubbed his ear furiously, not sure he had heard properly. "Say that again?"

"I said he's clearly hiding something under that thing around his neck and -" Sirius held up a hand. "I just wanted to make sure I heard you right. Are you saying you're willing to admit something isn't right about his disappearances?"

Peter shifted his weight between his two feet and looked uncomfortable. "Well, yes, but I think you should go make up first. Especially if you want him to lie to McGonagall for you."

"Of course Petey," Sirius said, ruffling his friend's hair. "Although I'm rubbish at apologies." His mind was already four steps ahead. Surely Remus had known how harsh his words were. Remus was never the type to cause hurt simply because someone had caused him hurt. No, there was more to the exchange that just occured than appeared on the surface. Remus had sensed Sirius pushing him away from some truth, and pushed back in return. Sirius knew exactly what secret he was trying to hide, but what was Remus hiding?

What was Remus hiding? He'd asked himself the question before, but he was more determined than ever to find the answer this time. But first, he had to apologize.

/

Peter found himself drawn into his friend's drama once again. At least this time he'd had the chance to make a conscious choice about it, though he still wasn't in 100 percent. Sirius, bad as he was at apologies, had somehow convinced Remus to forgive him for his nasty comments, and the status quo was back to normal.

Well, mostly. Peter was following Remus around wherever he went - it fell to him because James was in detention every day that week, and Sirius was laying low until Narcissa calmed down.

While he'd been feeling separated from his pureblood friends as of late, Peter had to admire James' talent for talking his way out of things - McGonagall had apparently been so furious she was prepared to kick him off the Quidditch team, until James presented her with his version of events, which included a self-conscious Lupin deeply hurt by Narcissa's comments, and an angry Sirius feeling powerless to do anything about the pressures his family put on him. By the end of his tale, James had talked McGonagall down to two weeks detention helping Hagrid fertilize the grounds with that unicorn dung, and a long apology letter to Narcissa. Personally, Peter thought the addition of flowers with the apology letter had been over the top, but McGonagall thought it a nice touch.

Narcissa, of course, had not been so easily swayed, but with no evidence of Sirius' direct involvement, she must have opted not to write home, because no Howler had come from the House of Black.

Lucius Malfoy was also a concern. The day after the incident he'd stopped Peter and Remus in the corridor and told them to tell James Potter he was going to see to him personally. The encounter had left Peter thoroughly frightened, but it seemed Malfoy was focused only on direct revenge because after he presented the threat, he let them go unharmed.

Remus was still wearing the strange scarf-like tie around his neck, and Peter and the others were increasingly suspicious that he was hiding something. Sirius had tried to sneak a peak when Remus was in the washroom, but the clever young wizard had cast some kind of locking spell that Sirius and James were unable to work out for the duration of his shower.

It had been three days, and Peter knew he had to get up the nerve to try another approach. And he had an idea of how to try it, and in a soft way that wouldn't be hurtful to his bookish friend.

"Remus?" He asked. "Can I tell you an important secret? Something I've been thinking about for a while now."

Remus looked up from his Transfiguration book. "Of course you can, Peter."

Peter swallowed. He was about to reveal something he'd hoped he'd never have to admit to his brave friends, but he hoped it would encourage Remus to open up about whatever personal issues he had.

"I know more about my father's death than I let on," he said. "You see, I found an old newspaper clipping. He was murdered. And while it was never proven, based on the circumstances and what he did for a living, I think he was murdered for his pro-muggle leanings."

Remus breathed in sharply and closed his book completely. "I'm so very sorry, Peter," he said, his amber eyes wide with sympathy. "That must be so painful."

Peter nodded. "It is. And scary, sometimes, when I think about what's happening in the world right now."

"Of course," Remus said, nodding in encouragement.

Peter hadn't planned to completely pour his heart out, as he'd had an underlying motive but Remus was so understanding he was suddenly talking more than he'd meant to.

"I'm sorry I didn't tell you sooner, but I was afraid you'd think me cowardly. But when James and Sirius talk about all those awful things going on I can't help but wonder if the people out there now are the same people that did such a horrible thing to my father." His voice cracked as he spoke, so eager he was to get the words out.

"Peter! You're not cowardly. That's a natural reaction," Remus said, patting his friend on the arm. "But you know it was very brave to tell me all this."

"I hope you don't think less of me," Peter said, his voice small.

"Never," Remus said, and his smile was so genuine Peter believed him. He smiled back.

"Thanks Remus. I feel better getting that off my chest." He paused. "You know, if there's anything you ever want to get off your chest, I'm always here for you."

Remus narrowed his eyes just slightly, a change that would be imperceptible to someone who didn't spend a lot of time with him, but of course Peter saw. It was a look of suspicion. "Thanks, Peter," he said. "I'll keep that in mind." With that, he opened his book back up and continued scribbling notes as though nothing had just happened.

Peter was surprised. Remus' behavior just then had been an obvious closing of the subject. Remus was never one to reject a friend like that - especially after an emotional moment like the one they'd just shared.

But Peter knew better than to be hurt. Obviously, his secret went deep. Was he sick, like his mother? Was the thing around his neck covering up some kind of visible sign of his illness, like pox? And why wouldn't he just tell his friends the truth?

He was now incredibly curious. And then he had a thought. If he could get the truth out of Remus, James and Sirius would be incredibly impressed. It was the perfect opportunity to show them his real worth, and help Remus in the process.

And just like that, he was all in, even if he thought Sirius and James could take things to a crazy level. If he could solve this mystery, he'd finally truly be on their level.