Thanks for the reviews you guys! You are wonderful! Reviews equal love and I love all of you too! Okay so here's the next chapter, drama, drama, drama…Anyway! Let's get on with this!

Disclaimer: I don't anything! Not the songs I did in the previous chapter, not SM, nothing! I do own my own characters though!

Chapter Thirty Four: Realizations…

Darien sat down on his bed late that night. When he came home earlier Raye had locked herself in the bathroom, she told him she was taking a shower. Raye was now sleeping, his work had gotten so much, on top of that he had his internship to think of as well.

"Hey." he whispered to her, "You awake?"

"Sort of." was Raye's response.

"Are you okay?" Darien asked her. Raye turned over, he could see her eyes were puffy from crying, she looked so tired, mentally and physically. "What's wrong?" Raye got up and hugged him tightly. Darien held her close to him.

"I messed up so much." Raye told him.

"What happened?" Darien asked her as he let go of her and looked at her.

"I just…I miss my friend." Raye told him honestly…sort of.

"I know, don't worry, Serena was so nice to all of us earlier, she's coming around, slowly, but she is." Darien told her. "Is there anything I can do?"

"No…you've done enough." Raye told him, she kissed him on the cheek and went back to bed. "Goodnight."

XxxxxxxxxxX

Serena sat on Mina's bed, she still felt no emotion. Mina fell on the bed next to her. Earlier Serena was just repeating the whole story about how she walked in on Raye with several pregnancy tests. She told the story over and over again, not missing a detail. Serena fell over on the bed. Mina crawled over and lay next to her.

"It was as if she was shoving it in my face with all those pregnancy tests." Serena told her.

"You said she was crying." Mina told her.

"She was…but she shouldn't cry. She got what she wanted." Serena told her. Serena sat there staring at Mina's headboard. Tears then finally formed in her eyes. "Oh my God Mina…Raye's pregnant." She sat up and cried. Mina sat up and hugged her friend. "It's not fair! What did I do to deserve this?! I went away to visit family and I see one of my best friends with my boyfriend…I wasn't that mean back then, I have a reason to be who I am now. She's part of that reason. Am I that horrible a person?!"

"No, no Serena, don't think that." Mina handed her a tissue. "Maybe this what you need for the two of you to connect again. You can share this secret."

"What secret?! The kid is on it's way! In nine months my future is officially dead!" Serena cried to her.

"You never wanted that future!" Mina reminded her.

"Yes I did Mina! I wanted it so badly. But after I caught Raye and Darien together, I didn't want it anymore, I wanted my own life, I just wanted to fly away from this whole mess." Serena cried out to her friend. Mina hugged her again.

"We'll figure something out." Mina told her. "Shh, don't worry. Just get some sleep. Come on it's late." Serena went into the bathroom and wiped her smudged makeup off her face. She collapsed into Mina's large bed next to her and fell into a deep sleep.

XxxxxxxX

"Serenity…" A voice came. "Serenity…come on darling." the voice said again. Serena mumbled something and turned over in bed. "Serena come on!" Serena felt the sheets go flying off her. She opened her eyes to see her mother standing over her.

"Oh my God, Mum!" She hugged her mother as the tears poured out of her again.

"I know…I know…" Her mother told her as she held her daughter. "Shh, my dear, please…listen to me." she pulled herself away from her daughter and sat on the edge of the bed.

"Mum, what am I suppose to do now?!" Serena asked her mother.

"I told you one of your Scouts needed you. Now you know what she needs." Queen Serenity told her.

"But I can't help her!" Serena cried out to her mother. "I just can't! I don't think I can get through this…" she looked down. Her mother lifted her daughter's chin up.

"Hey…do you remember what happened in Italy?" her mother reminded her. "You got through that…you can get through this…you are my daughter, you are the strongest woman I know." she paused and looked at her daughter. "Serenity I know this is hard, and I know you want to die all over again just like you wanted to because of what happened in Italy, but you cannot let go this time. Do you understand?!" Her mother forced these words in her daughter's head.

"I can't…not this time." Serena responded.

"No, you have to! Serenity, this is apart of life, I know it hurts, but you have to take charge in this, you have to help Raye…" Queen Serenity told her. Serena then looked up at her mother. The anger in her eyes shot out at her.

"Help Raye…FUCKING HELP RAYE?!" She shouted to her mother. "You want me to help that little bitch who backstabbed me?! Who destroyed my life?! You're the one who told me that I threw away my future, well if you're going to blame someone, blame her! I didn't go out and mess everything up!" Serena shouted as she grew angrier and angrier. "I started to go on with my life after I left them all. How would you like to be made a fool of every single day while everyone knew that your boyfriend was cheating on you! But no, you wouldn't know that would you?! Sorry if I'm not the perfect fucking example of a princess but I have feelings too!" Serena shouted out her rage and anger at her mother. Her mother stood up.

"Serena…I know you're upset…but please. Don't do this. You can't hold all this anger in you any longer. It's not safe." Queen Serenity told her.

"I just can't…I can't, I don't want to hold on to this anymore." Serena looked down. Her mother sat down on the bed next, Serena sat down next to her.

"I know Darling…I know…but I want you to remember something. If none of this happened. If Raye and Darien hadn't made a connection while you were away…think for a moment. After everything that happened in Italy, who would you tell first?" Queen Serenity asked her daughter. Serena sat there staring at the floor. "Well you couldn't tell Lena…or her sister Lana."

"No, they wouldn't understand."

"Amy? She did tell you about her father."

"I could have told Amy…"

"Lita?"

"No, she has no family, that would be cruel to tell her of my family drama."

"Mina?"

"Mina at times is just like Lena and Lana, I couldn't tell her."

"Darien?"

"No, I wouldn't want that much sympathy and attention towards me."

"So that leaves Raye…she would have understood."

"I guess she would…" Serena continued to stare at the floor. "But I can't just shove all this aside."

"I know. Take your time, but remember Serenity, you must confront her. I'm not saying to forgive her, but you have to speak to her." Queen Serenity advised her daughter.

"I will." Serena looked at her mother, then grabbed her into a hug. "God, I wish you were with me."

"I always am."

Serena woke up in Mina's bed. Mina was probably downstairs making pancakes or bringing up cake for breakfast. She got out of the bed and made her way downstairs. Mina was making pancakes, which was one of one of the few things Mina could cook well. The rest happened to be pasta, Betty Crocker Cake, Chicken (if a George Foreman Grill was available), and then add some small side dish to the chicken to make it Italian, that would been it. Along with the toaster oven, Mina was set for life.

"Hey." Mina said to her as she flipped a pancake.

"Hey." Serena sat down at the small table. For some reason Mina and Dave mostly hung around their small quarters of the house, if their parents were home they'd be in the rest, but their small quarters had a small kitchen in it, perfect fit for two people who could barley cook.

"How are you feeling?"

"Like shit."

"Perfectly normal."

"Did you tell anyone?"

"No."

"Mina…"

"I'm telling you I didn't tell anyone, but Lena did call for you this morning on my cell phone, she said you wouldn't answer yours."

"Should I tell her?" Serena asked. Mina put the pancakes on a large plate and put them on the table along with syrup, forks, knives, and two other plates.

"It's up to you really."

"Mina, my mother wants me to help Raye." Serena blurted out.

"Wha-ha?" Mina made the sound while her mouth hung open with her pancake on her fork. "Your mom wants you to help Raye? Does your mother even remember who Raye is?"

"No, not mother off in California." Serena told her. "Mother-mother…" she said a bit more seriously.

"What?!" Mina put her pancake down.

"She's been telling me that one of my scouts needs me." Serena told her she put her hand to her head.

"This is something you should be telling Luna, not me." Mina advised.

"No! Luna can't know any of this! No one else can know either!" Serena told her. Serena ate her pancake. "GOD!" She said as she threw her fork down and put her hands to her face as she began to cry.

"Shh…" Mina comforted her as she went over and hugged her. "It's okay, you'll get through this, I promise you." Serena turned over and held on to Mina as she sobbed on her friend's shoulder.

XxxxxxxxxxxX

Raye came back from the pastry shop. She figured she would pig out with the pregnancy cravings until she knew what she was going to do with her problem. She came upstairs to find Darien packing his bags.

"What's-what's going on?" Raye said as she observed it. Had he found out? Did he find a pregnancy test in the trash can?

"Hey." he greeted her with a smile. "I have to go off to LA for a few days because of my internship. I'll be back in about five days okay?" he said to her as he kissed her cheek.

"Oh." was her only response.

"What's wrong?" Darien asked her.

"Nothing, it's just-does Maestro and Luke and all them know?" she asked.

"Yeah, Strobe's disappeared for a long time, I think sooner or later we can leave this place." Darien told her.

"Really?" Raye took her mind off of her troubles for a moment.

"Yeah, he said he'd tell us more about it. Listen I have to get going there's a taxi waiting for me downstairs." He kissed her. "Oh, have you seen Serena? I don't want you alone in this house by yourself."

"Um, she went out for a bit." She told him.

"Okay, well if she asks tell her I went out, which I doubt she will." he kissed her lips sweetly as he left. "See you."

"Bye." Raye stood in the room alone. She walked into the walk-in closet, she looked in the large mirror, she looked at her face and then her body. She stood to her side to see if she was showing at all. She looked down, she put on hand on her lower back and one on her stomach. No, she wasn't really showing. She looked up at her face again and then back at her stomach, it was huge, and obviously pregnant.

Raye closed her eyes and shook her head a little, she opened it up again to see her for-now flat stomach. God, I'd be such a horrible mother. She thought.

XxxxxxxxX

Serena lay on Mina's bed staring at the ceiling. She plugged in her iPod to Mina's stereo and began playing music, she had the remote in one hand to change the songs. Otherwise she lay there at the ceiling. Thinking….just thinking…about everything and nothing all at once.

flashback

"How can you hide something like this from me?!" Gwen shouted out to her husband Ken.

"I wanted to tell you so many times. How am I suppose to admit a mistake like this?" Ken shouted back at his wife.

"So it's a mistake?! That's what you think of someone?! They're not even human anymore to you, it's just all a big mistake!" Gwen shouted angrily at her husband.

"You know that's not what I meant." Ken came up to her. Gwen shoved him again.

"So are our kids a mistake?! Am I fucking mistake as well?!" Gwen screamed at him.

"Gwen what do you want me to do?! It was a long time ago. I only found out eight years ago!"

"Eight years of lies! How can you do this to me?! How can you do this to our kids?! Do you hate me that much?!" Gwen screamed with tears in her eyes.

"OH COME ON! That's a lie and you know it! I have always put you and the kids first in life! This house and family you know that, the kids know that and I know that!" Ken shouted at her, they both walked back and fourth across their large bedroom.

"Yeah all those nights at the hospital, all those birthdays you missed. Yeah big family time."

"What do you want me to do? Go back in time?" Ken asked her.

"No, I want you to apologize for it!" Gwen shouted.

"I DID! Are you always going to hold this against me?!" Ken shouted back.

While they were shouting up there Serena and her two brothers, Ken and Charlie, were sitting downstairs in their living room. No one looked at each other, they sat there listening to the fight above. Then they heard it. Something smashed and the fight began round two but in Italian.

"Shouldn't they speak English so no one would understand them?" Charlie asked his siblings.

"It doesn't matter. We're the only ones in this house besides them." Ken said.

"Still, it's Italy, there's always someone around." Charlie told him.

"God, can't they get over themselves?" Serena asked no one in particular.

"Serena this is serious." Ken told her.

"Yeah well they haven't asked us how we fucking feel about it." she told him.

"Wait, shut up." Charlie told them as he listened to their parents again.

"I can't stand this anymore Ken!" Their mother Gwen came rushing down the stairs in her silk robe.

"And you think I can?" Ken shouted. The kids looked through the doorway to see their parents fighting.

"It is your 'mistake' after all!" Gwen told him.

"Oh because it's all my fault! You're not blaming her at all?!" Ken shouted back.

"I am blaming her, but I'm not married to her, I'm married to you!"

"Oh so now you're going to regret our marriage?"

"No Ken, I'm not you."

"How many times-" Gwen stopped him as she looked into the doorway of the living room and saw their three kids sitting there watching them.

"Kids…" Gwen stated.

"Serena, Bambina…Let me explain." Ken told her as he walked closer to his daughter.

"I don't need your explanation." Serena told him.

"Yeah, we heard your explanation." Charlie told him.

"Everyone back in the U.S. heard your explanation." Ken Jr. told them.

"So you know then?" Their father asked.

"Oh yes, we've heard." Charlie told him.

"Until we resolve this-if this ever gets resolved, not a word to anyone." Ken told his children.

"Why would we want to tell someone?" Serena asked him sarcastically.

"I'm serious bambina." he told her.

"I'm not ten, don't call me that." Serena snapped at him.

"Serena have some respect for your father!" her mother told her quickly.

"Why? He doesn't have any respect for us." Serena gestured out to her father.

"I have so much respect for you and you don't even see it! You want me to do something that will make you really regret your comment young lady?!" Ken shouted at his daughter as he charged towards her. Charlie stood up in front of his sister.

"What are you doing?! What are you going to hit her?!" Charlie told his father. "Keep your fight with your wife separate from the fight with your kids."

"Charlie, calm down." Ken Jr. told his brother. Serena put her head in her hands.

Their father, angered, went out the house. Gwen did the same, only she went upstairs to her bedroom. The kids sat there in the living room silent, their mother came downstairs with a small suitcase and left the house.

"Fuck this." Serena stood up and went upstairs.

"Serena, let's talk about this." Charlie told her.

"I don't want to talk about this." Serena said as she continued her way up the stairs.

"What do you want to do then?" her other brother, Ken, asked her.

"I want to go out and get shit-faced." She said as she went into her room and closed the door.

The next day Serena and her brothers were sitting in their kitchen, their parents came in.

"Kids, we need to tell you something…" her father began.

"You're getting a divorce?" Charlie asked.

"I'm living with mom." Serena mumbled.

"Shut up Serena." Ken told her.

"No, just listen to us." Gwen told them. "Everything that's happened, everything that you've heard is true, and we don't know how we're going to solve this, but we're asking you one thing and you probably know it already."

"Don't leak this out to the rest of the family." Serena told her brothers tiredly.

"That's right, you can't tell Giano, Lena, Lana…no one. Period." Ken, their father, told them. "Our family name is at risk here."

"As is my family name." Gwen glared at her husband.

"Why are you looking at me like that?" Ken asked his wife.

"Oh after all this I don't have the right to glare at you? I have every fucking right to do whatever I want to do right now." Gwen raised her voice a little.

"Oh you do now do you?" Ken's voiced raised.

"Yes I do."

"Oh this is just like you, something goes wrong and you take advantage to be such a snob about it."

"Look whose talking! 'family name' all you think about is your name and your family! What about mine?! What am I going to tell my family about this whole mess?!"

"NOTHING!"

"Oh I'll show you nothing!"

Their fight was heard around the house. Every time Gwen and Ken were in the house together they were screaming at each other. Serena was laying on her bed trying not to listen to it. She knew if she blasted music her parents would hear it and scream at her then she would be involved. Her eldest brother Ken came into her room. He shut the door and sat down on the bed with her.

"How you doing kid?" he asked her. Serena's eyes had tears in them.

"I hate him so much." was her only reply. They sat there together, in silence, listening to the fighting, and occasional objects breaking. Then they heard the finale, the front door slamming shut, then there was silence throughout the house.

End flashback

Serena thought about the past summer. What she went through no one else could go through without falling apart permanently. She only fell apart when she found out that Darien had been cheating on her. Only then did she let herself fall apart, after that she pulled herself together and got on with her life. She wondered what Raye would have done if she had a dark family secret to carry. She would have probably trusted me with it. Serena thought. She knew that if Raye had gotten pregnant by any other guy other than Darien that she would have helped her out. That it wouldn't have even gotten this far, Serena would have gone with her to the drug store, gotten the pregnancy test and take one with her just so she wouldn't be alone. Then if Raye proved positive Serena would have helped her with whatever she would have decided and probably support her emotionally and financially.

But no, Raye was pregnant with Darien's child. That bitch.

Serena sat up on the bed. She looked down at her upper thigh and put her hand on it. She rubbed it while speaking softly to it, "Heal…heal…please heal." She then pulled down her velour pants and looked at the scars. Still there.

But Serena knew…she knew what it was like to be stuck in a place in life with no one to talk to. To hold a dark secret and have it eat you up inside.

But it's her own fault…Serena thought.

HEY! SHORT CHAPTER YES! But just getting rid of the boring parts so that you guys can get to the good parts. Small crap like this is required because the small crap puts everything together. And you're probably wondering, "what the hell happened in Italy with Serena?" It'll all be revealed soon! I promise! Remember to review! Because if you review it means you love me and I REALLY love you guys!