Chapter Playlist- I Do Not Hook Up by Kelly Clarkson

Previously…

The boys made me sit in the car while they fiddled around with the batteries in the engines of the two cars, clipping them together with what I presumed were the jump leads. I yawned again and I must have been pretty tired, because I was vaguely aware of the purring to life of the car and Edward carrying me to the front door of my house and then up the stairs. That was the last thing I was even half-consciously aware of though, before deep sleep claimed me, pulling me into wonderful dreams of green eyes, bronze hair and an awful lot of bare skin…

The Hard Way To Learn A Lesson

Chapter 35- Completely Whipped

Edward POV

"That should do it," Emmett told me. "Try your car again." I went to the drivers seat and twisted the key one more time. The engine purred to life.

"Thanks, Emmett," I said, climbing back out to say goodbye to him. "I owe you."

"You bet you do," he agreed with a grin. But then his expression turned serious and he looked into the Volvo, at Bella. "She's a great girl, that one, Edward. Don't hurt her."

"I'm not going to. Besides, we're…"

"Just friends. Yeah, yeah, Edward. I've heard that one before." Emmett slapped me on the back. "Eddie, you're completely whipped, man. Just tell her. She feels the same way, I can tell."

I narrowed my eyes at him suspiciously. "Aren't you gonna go all 'Alice' on me and tell me that she deserves better?"

Emmett looked at me and I saw in his eyes that glimmer of hurt from the incident that had torn our family apart. "Is that what she's been saying?"

I nodded miserably. "And… the worst thing is that… that I agree with her. After everything I did… I don't deserve Bella, and she deserves more than me. I'm… cruel. Just like you said."

"Ah, Edward…" Emmett moaned. "You know I didn't mean that shit. I was angry with you. I was angry with her. Hell, I was furious with everyone!" He paused. "Why don't you just tell her that you're sorry, Edward?"

"Because it's too late, Emmett," I sighed. "One word isn't going to make the slightest bit of difference now. I will prove to her that I trust her… when I know how to."

"But…" Emmett started.

I cut him off. "I don't want to talk about this."

He shrugged. "Okay. I guess it's up to you anyway. But you know that the sooner, the better, right?"

"I know." I dropped the seriousness by flashing him my signature grin. "Get back to your fiancée, then, you douchebag."

He barked out a laugh and slapped me on the back. "I shall. Get back to your wife. Sheesh, never thought you'd marry before I would." He laughed again. "See you round, wimp."

"Whatever, Emmett," I scoffed as I climbed into the front seat of my car. "Sorry about that," I said to Bella, switching the engine on. "He just doesn't know when to shut…"

"Mmm… Edward," she muttered, and I looked at her. I smiled when I noticed that she was asleep and reached over to gently push her hair out of her face. She stirred a little and her hand came up to take mine in her sleep. She held it to her face and leant against it unconsciously in her sleep.

I laughed slightly and tried to pull my hand away.

She clutched at it. "No," she protested quietly.

"Bella, I have to have my hand back if you want to get home to bed," I told her with a smile.

"Fine," she sighed, releasing my hand from the death grip she had it in.

I was beginning to wonder if she was just pretending to be asleep, but something about the angelic set of her face made me sure that she couldn't fake it so convincingly.

I took out the CD and hid it in my glove box before driving home. Of all the CDs she could pick out, she had picked out that one; a compilation of my favourite piano melodies and classical music from when I was thirteen. I had found most of them on the internet, bought them and then learnt how to play them on the piano. Of course, not many of them were universally known, or even known of at all, so it surprised me when Bella knew the first track. I was glad that she had skipped it though. The moment I heard the first key I remembered the times when I used to do that with Alice. A duet that seemed to have been made for the two of us, and Esme's favourite. It was the song I had based her song on. The first song I wrote that was any good. The rest were bits and pieces, amateur, but hers had been the first song I had ever felt could have made it big… and she never heard it. I had played it so many times before, that I probably still could play it if I concentrated, but it wouldn't feel right now, not after everything that happened.

Charlie had obviously gone to bed as all the lights were off, and I wasn't surprised. I switched off the engine and quietly went round to Bella's side to get her out. I lifted her into my arms and cradled her against my chest, my heart thumping at the contact. I still couldn't believe that I was somehow lucky enough to have her, to be able to kiss her, and love her, and be with her.

I kicked the door shut behind me, and clicked the lock, before heading for the front door. I unlocked it with the key from Bella's pocket and locked it behind us again before heading up the stairs. She shifted slightly in my arms and muttered, "Edward, what…?"

"Sorry I woke you," I whispered. "Go back to sleep."

She didn't need telling twice and I wondered if she had even been properly awake in the first place. I didn't turn the light on when we got to her bedroom, just lay her on her bed and dumped the bag on the floor before going over to her bed and lifting Bella up again so that I could pull back the covers. I pulled off my sweats and hoodie before climbing into bed beside her and pulling the duvet over both of us and snuggling close to her, holding her body against mine.

"Mmm… Edward," she said in her sleep, rolling on to her side and slipping her arm around me.

I stroked the back of her hoodie, feeling the texture of the letters across the back, and smiled to myself. I wondered if there was somehow a way to trick her into going to school wearing that hoodie the next day. Although people would say things if Bella turned up for school wearing a hoodie with my name splashed across the back. I chuckled quietly to myself and shut my eyes, falling fast into dreams of my beautiful brown-eyed girl.

***

"Okay," Bella said, re-capturing my attention.

I looked up from the magazine I was reading at her. "Yes?"

"How's this?" she asked, gesturing to her outfit.

I looked her up and down. She wore a pair of plain black leggings; a figure-hugging purple top that finished at her thighs, more like a mini-dress; a black belt around her waist; and a pair of small-heeled purple dolly shoes. (A/N- clothes on profile! It's actually really nice- I'd recommend checking them out!)I pursed my lips. "How's this for what?"

"School, of course," she replied, rolling her eyes. Then she bit her lip. "It's not nice, is it? Argh! I hate your sister! If she hadn't threatened me to wear heels, I'd be able to live through the day! But, no. Either I'm going to be murdered by Alice, or I'll kill myself falling over my own feet!"

"Bella," I said, getting off of the bed. "You look gorgeous, as always, but even you wouldn't fall in those tiny little heels. And Alice won't kill you. I won't let her. Your outfit looks great. I'm just a little worried about two things."

"Which are?"

"Well…" I pointed at her shoulders that were barely covered. "We live in Forks and you'll freeze your sexy little ass off in that."

She held up a fashionable black coat.

"Okay. Second reason: you're mine and I don't want to have to beat up Newton for ogling you."

She smiled and wrapped her arms round my middle, before kissing my neck. "Mike doesn't have anything on you, Edward. Besides, I'm a married woman; would I betray your trust that way?"

"I should hope not," I replied.

"Of course not." She pulled away from me and glanced in the mirror. "Are you sure this is fine?"

"If you want to go to school looking as appealing as that, then yes."

"Fab! Come on then," she said tugging at my hand.

I didn't move.

"Come on, Eddie. We have to pick Alice up." She grinned cheekily.

I glared at her. "I'm pretty sure that Jasper will do that for me. And you were supposed to forget that nickname. So I will have to punish you." I pulled her back to my side and she lifted her chin up so she could kiss me.

I pulled away. "You're trying to distract me," I quoted her from the night before.

She played along, quoting my response, "Is it working?"

I groaned, momentarily unsure of what to do. Then I said, "Yes, oh yes," and kissed her again. After all, punishment could be served later…

Bella POV

Alice seemed pleased with the first outfit I had picked out completely by myself for the first time since we ditched the sweats. She beamed at me when I sat next to her and said, "Hey Bella."

That instantly made me suspicious. No twenty questions about what I got up to with Edward? I had even come up with a few plans as to what I could tell her this morning in the shower as well as forcing Edward to give me some believable excuses in the car. But maybe I wouldn't have to lie my ass of after all. "Hi Alice. Why are you so happy this morning?"

"It's Friday!" she sang. "And you know what that means?"

"Um… no… What?"

"It's Friday!"

I quirked an eyebrow at her. "Riiiight. Sure, Alice. Did you have weed with your cereal this morning or something?"

Alice beamed. "Oh yes. It was more like cereal with weed." She winked and then frowned. "When are you and Edward moving back to ours? It's boring without you."

"Tonight," I answered, pulling a face. "When my Dad starts to talk about sex in front of my… Edward, in front of Edward," I corrected myself quickly, hoping that Alice didn't notice my mistake, "I move out."

Alice nodded, unbelievably buying it. God, today was my lucky day. "Wise move," she commented. Then a small smile came on to her face. "What did he say, exactly?"

"Ugh, you don't want to know," I moaned; more like I didn't want to tell her that my father banned sex because he actually figured out that Edward and I were more than good friends. "At the dinner table, and everything."

Alice laughed. "I like your Dad," she said.

"That's what Edward said," I sighed.

Alice laughed again, but we both shut up when Mrs Connell started to list the names of the people whose applications for the talent contest had been successful. The show would take place a week from today and Alice was already starting to tell me that we had to get the best seats available…

***

The beginning of the morning was so boring that I could have literally jumped for joy when I remembered that I had Biology second period. Edward wasn't there when I got there, but Mason was and he was sat at my desk, leaving his place next to Edward completely open. I smiled and went and dumped my bag on it. "Fallen out with Cullen, have you?" I asked cheekily.

He turned round and raised an eyebrow at me. "You know, you can stop pretending, Swan. Edward told me everything yesterday."

I made a face. "I know."

He grinned. "What do you think Marshall will say this afternoon?"

I shrugged. "Don't know. But I really hope that he doesn't spring another of these ridiculous surprises."

"I wouldn't count on that. He's already got one planned."

"He has?" I groaned, glancing at the door as it opened again. It wasn't Edward. "How do you know?"

"Overheard him talking to Mr Hudson." He frowned then. "He said that he thinks this will be a valuable lesson or some crap like that. You know what he's like."

"Hmm…" I murmured, and looked up as the door opened again and Edward came in. I beamed at him and he beamed back.

"Completely whipped," I heard Mason mutter.

"Hey you," Edward said as he dropped his bag on the desk with a thump.

"Hi."

Unfortunately, Mr Banner came in then, with a video in his hand. I groaned quietly; a video meant that we wouldn't be able to talk. I played a short game of noughts and crosses with Edward on the back of his notebook while Mr Banner explained that the video was about enzymes or something, until the lights were turned right down and the only light was that from the screen. Edward pushed the notebook aside then, and took both of my hands in his own. I shifted closer to him, thankful that we were sat at the back, until my shoulder was touching his.

The lesson went way too fast, which was probably because I wanted to stay like this, my hands inside Edward's, our shoulders touching, for the rest of the day.

The rest of the morning was the complete opposite as I waited eagerly for lunch and the opportunity to see Edward again. I didn't remember his stupid detention until I sat down next to Mason with a glum face, and the usual spare peanut butter sandwich. At least it was the last one today.

Now all I had to do was wait for psychology… and Mr Marshall's surprise, whatever the hell that was.

But then I had an idea. I looked over my shoulder to see the freezer cabinet with the little tubs of ice cream in it. I'd never had a peanut butter and strawberry ice cream sandwich, but it couldn't be that bad, could it?

Edward POV

I climbed the gazillion and one stairs to psychology, right behind Mason. He was saying something about a game that had been on the night before that he and Heidi had watched together after breaking the rules of the separation, but I wasn't really listening. I just wanted to see Bella again.

"Here," was the first thing she said to me, handing me a sandwich.

I grinned and kissed her hand when no one was watching. "Thanks."

"Don't speak too soon," she said smugly, watching me as I cracked open the plastic.

I narrowed my eyes suspiciously, but took a bite of the sandwich. The coldness that I hadn't been expecting made me shudder. "Ugh! What the hell is this?"

Mason looked over from where he sat next to Heidi, who was on Bella's other side. "What?"

Bella giggled and leant over to whisper in my ear. "I thought peanut butter and strawberry ice cream would be a nice combo."

I glared at her. "You are evil, you know that?"

"Yep," she replied in a sing-song voice.

"Oh, the ice cream in the sandwich thing," Mason realised.

"You knew about this?" I asked. "And you let her do it?!"

"Of course. I helped."

I rolled my eyes and took another bite. Once the initial shock of the cold wore off, it was actually quite nice, so I finished both sandwiches. Bella wrinkled her delicate little nose. "Ew," she muttered.

I laughed. "You made it," I pointed out, before glancing at the clock. Mr Marshall was now fifteen minutes late. "What's keeping him today?" I wondered.

But, five minutes later, he came in carrying three large boxes stacked on top of each other. Oh no; there was another surprise. He carefully put the boxes on his desk and turned to us.

"Yes, class, this is your next 'surprise'," he told us, beaming as though he expected us to clap our hands gaily and bounce up and down in excitement. He actually looked a little disappointed when no one did that, and cleared his throat. I rolled my eyes at Bella and she giggled quietly.

"Okay," Mr Marshall said, leaning against his desk. "Now, be honest, how many of you stayed separated up till now?"

A fair few hands went up. I wasn't surprised to see that Bella was remaining truthful and, of course, red-faced. She looked surprised to see that I didn't put my hand up though. Mason and Heidi's hands both stayed down too.

Mr Marshall raised his eyebrows. "Be truthful," he repeated. A few more hands came down when they saw that about half the class hadn't put their hands up. Now only four hands were in the air.

Mr Marshall looked at them. "You four have failed the task," he said, before looking around the whole class. "The aim of this separation was to get you to realise how important your husband or wife is and how, though you may hate them because of whatever row you've just had, it's not worth losing time together over, because you never know how long the time that you will spend together is. I hope that many of you noted down your feelings in your log book and that they will be included in the final essay which, may I remind you, is due in a week from today, which is also the day that the project will end and you will be a bunch of single teens again."

I exchanged a glance with Bella, knowing that neither of us wanted that day to come any quicker.

"So… your surprise." Mr Marshall gestured toward the three large boxes. "So far in this project, we have covered marriage and separation, but there is another element of marriage that we haven't spoken about yet. And that, is kids. Children, babies, infants, pests… whatever you want to call them."

Oh. No.

"So, this weekend I am assigning you a new task that should be… interesting in the very least." He grinned at us. "Congrats guys. You've just inherited your very own sleeping, eating, pooping, screaming bundle of joy. Otherwise known as a baby." He pulled a life-size baby out of the box on top and I felt my face fall. A baby? A freaking baby?!

I turned to complain about it with Bella, only to see that she was positively glowing as she, too, turned to me.

"Can I name it?" she asked excitedly.

I gaped at her. "You mean you actually like this surprise?!"

She looked surprised. "Of course. Babies are cute."

"Yeah, when they're not keeping you awake or screaming their little heads off! Sheesh, Bella."

She glared at me. "Don't you dare talk about our daughter like that!" she chastised.

"Daughter?" I asked doubtfully.

"Yes," she replied indignantly. "Girls are so much better than boys."

"Right," I said slowly, just as Mr Marshall re-claimed everyone's attention.

"Now, I will call your names and you will come up and get your baby. You can choose the gender, or have a surprise if you want. Obviously, the baby does not really poop and eat, but it does cry, just like a real baby. It will be the same size and weight as a real baby and will cry at random intervals throughout the weekend. There is a computer inside the baby that will record how long it takes you to respond to the baby crying and whether you abuse it in any way by dropping it, handling it roughly, throwing it, hitting it or shaking it. This computer must not be removed and, if it is, it will register major neglect and the baby will shut down, being, effectively, dead and you will fail this task.

"It is your job, as a parent, to make sure that nothing happens to your baby in order to hurt it or make it cry. Your baby may cry for one of four reasons: it is uncomfortable, in which case you change the positioning of the baby; it needs tending, which can be feeding, changing, bathing, or just attention; it wants to sleep, in which case you lie it down to go to sleep; or it has been roughly handled. If you hurt it, it will start crying and you will not be able to comfort it in any way apart from just cuddling it for as long as necessary. It is also necessary that you always support the baby's head as you would with a newborn at all times.

"You will each have one of these wristbands" – Mr Marshall held up a wristband with a plastic key attached – "and, every time the baby cries, you will put the key in the computer at the back and turn it to the right. Then, with the key still in, you must mime doing whatever the baby needs, whether that is feeding, changing or whatever. You will continue to do this until your baby 'coos' and then you may stop and put it to sleep. The tending can take any amount of time from five to thirty-five minutes, and you must drop anything you are doing, yes even sleeping, to see to your baby as quickly as you can.

"Only the two of you can tend to your baby as the wristband is non-removable and will only work for the baby's parents. Also, you must both take equal turns in caring for your baby; the mother cannot do everything."

"Why not?" someone called out. "They usually do."

"Actually, Liam," Mr Marshall said. "Fathers are becoming more and more active in parenting, nowadays. Your baby will have one of three settings; a good baby, a bad baby or an average baby. All three versions will cry often, but that decides how often. You also must take the baby with you everywhere you go this weekend and, if where you're going is not suitable for the baby, then you can't go."

There was a loud chorus of "That's not fair!" and "Oh, but…" and other such things. I simply let my head fall into my hands.

"That's the way it works, guys. So, when I call your names, you will come up and collect your child, along with everything you will need. You will be supplied with a car seat, sling to carry your baby in and changing bag with things like bottles, clothes and nappies in. I will also give you this small manual reminding you of how to take good care of your baby and the consequences of what will happen if you don't." Mr Marshall beamed then. "I think that's everything. Oh, and you will get a birth certificate where you can write the name and date of birth of your child and such, which you can keep after the project as a memoir.

"So… Calleigh Archer and her partner?"

I lifted my head up again as Calleigh and Rob Wilson went up to receive their baby. Calleigh, like Bella, looked excited. Rob, looked a bit worried, and absolutely shit-scared of the upcoming weekend, which was probably just how I looked. I had a feeling that this weekend was not going to be as I had originally anticipated at all…

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

This chapter was going to be longer but I cut it short because I'm evil like that ;) And also because it's already longer than usual… XD If you usually skip over the ANs then I'd probably advise reading this one because there's a lot about the story.

Sadly, this update does not mean that I have gotten my laptop back, but my Dad feels sorry for me apparently and occasionally lends me his :D I do still have access to the internet though

Oh and links for clothes visuals, songs and other things used in this story are in the process of going up on my profile. Feel free to have a look :D

The baby doll thing with the computer actually does exist for those of you who don't know. I did a lot of research on them so the details are actually true. To make it more interesting though, I made the baby able to move and that one baby can have two wristbands. Other than that, the computerised babies do do everything Mr Marshall said. However, I go to a grammar school who are very boring and don't let us do anything anywhere near as interesting as look after a pretend baby so I have not, and will not, have actual experience of these babies so if you have done anything like this before and have advice/ funny stories/ can see details I've missed out or gotten wrong, then please tell me in either a review or PM! :D Thank you!

GOOD NEWS GUYS!!!! A lot of you have been asking how much of the story there is left and whether there will be a sequel. Those of you who are keeping up with the days will realise that there are only six days left of the project, but there will probably be six or so more chapters after the project ends, maybe more. Also, the average number of chapters per day is probably about two and a half so there is quite a lot of story left but (since I plan this by days rather than by chapters) I can't give you an estimation of how many more chapters there are.

And a sequel? Well, this may change seeing as there are still a LOT of chapters left to go of this but… (drum roll) I'm currently swaying towards yes as an answer to that question. Hopefully you're smiling or going yay! Or something and not groaning and going 'damn- can't she end this any sooner?' but this is NOT SET IN STONE!!! I'm not promising anything, but at the moment, I do have ideas for a sequel, and I am probably going to go through with it, though that depends on the response that the end of this story gets. I have a poll on my profile regarding sequels and stuff so PLEASE GO VOTE!!!!

A lot of you have been asking whether Bella and Edward will be getting any dirtier anytime sooner, but I can safely say that there will be no lemons and the rating will not be changing. However, soon I won't be a minor anymore so I will think about maybe making it more… shall we say descriptive? For those of you that have been asking me to, but it would definitely not be enough to necessitate changing the rating because I think a lot of things are rated M when, technically, the rudest thing in the whole story, we were taught about IN SCHOOL when we were 11. So yeah, I do think that a lot of people underestimate the T rating, but I won't be making THWTLAL that bad. Do any of you have any strong feelings on this? Because, obviously, I want to have your opinion because it's you that's reading this and I don't want to write something you don't want to read. Obviously, if I did write anything like that at all, even in tiny amounts, I would put a warning at the start of the chapter. So please give me your thoughts, guys.

In the mean time, who lives in the UK and watches the X Factor? And who agrees that Edward from the strange-twins is totally giving the name Edward a bad rep? My faves are definitely Joe, Stacey and Lucie. Lucie has a great voice, Stacey is hilarious (every time I hear her speak in that accent, I just think that she's gonna sing terribly and then she's amazing) and really sweet, and Joe is just… ADORABLE!!! :D Aw, he even has like lil dimples XD He's totally my winner and if you don't live in the UK, Google him! He's so sweet and he has a great voice. See, I don't usually watch the X Factor, but this year I really like it!

Also for you UK-ians (LOL) who probably already know this but I'm going to freak about it anyway: NEW MOON TICKETS GO ON SALE SUNDAY!!!!! :D Soooooooo getting mine :D Just please don't go and buy all of the tickets from the cinemas in Bournemouth because (I swear) I'll cry if they all go for the 20th November. I honestly will.

Yay for another stupidly long A/N XD Fave line or part???

PLEASE REVIEW!!!

Thanks.

Steph