Author's Note: I do not own The Loud House or any other story depicted. I also make no money from it.
Also, this is the last chapter. I hope you guys like it.
THE LAST CHAPTER
Wow.
I did NOT expect that to work.
The man who considers himself to be my metaphorical son even though he's just another version of me is back.
The man I nicknamed… Kronos.
"I knew that there was only one explanation as to why I couldn't reach you. My future self must be a genius!"
Kronos looks right back at me.
"Are we… in a church? What is…"
"This church is accessible only through the empty white hallway leading to the bar. I still have some secrets."
"Why, Overseer, WHY!? WHY WOULD YOU SHOW MY SON ALL THIS… UGLINESS OF THE… MULTIVERSE!"
Ugliness of the multiverse? That's a new one. Okay, time to explain myself.
"Kronos… if my future self had to deal with an ever increasing number of sin kids travelling the multiverse, he would have concluded that there is no better person to judge the children of Lincoln Loud, than children of Lincoln Loud!"
"ARE YOU SERIOUS! YOU'RE PRACTICALLY GOD! YOU HAVE A CHURCH AND YOU COULD END ALL OF THIS TODAY!"
You still don't get it, do you?
"Kronos, over the course of history in my universe, church buildings as we know them today are actually fairly recent, since the reformation of the protestants. I used to actually believe that the Lord himself dwells in places just like these when in fact, he doesn't. But you know who does? Satan!"
"Huh? The church has ALWAYS been God's building! You created this but it's his! The church is the house of God!"
"Kronos, when I built this, I was misguided. Church buildings are for teaching UNSAVED people religious things. I've realized this when I started learning about the multiverse. To tell you the truth, Kronos, as much as you and Sol like to refer to me as God, I actually have more in common with Satan."
"But… but the zombie Lincolns! You're passing the RIGHT JUDGEMENT!"
"I deceived you all into going into the multiverse, haven't I? It's also kinda hard to stop my self righteousness when encountering those inbreeders. I mean... they keep telling me that everything wasn't their fault, that their sisters and daughters came onto THEM, as if it really mattered. I also say swear words often. Been trying to keep a lid on it. You know?"
He then throws his hands up and down in the air, screaming like the child that he is.
I thought you grew up, Kronos. What's wrong with you?
You must still be worried about your son. Whatever his name is.
"No! I refuse to believe it! You're just gonna… let things get WORSE!?"
I'll tell him the truth. I'll tell everybody the truth.
"Kronos, if it makes you feel better, I'll tell you the biggest thing that I gained when I became the Overseer."
"It's… the religion… isn't it?"
"No. It isn't that. It's also not power or wisdom or even so help me god, endurance. No. The biggest thing I was given, Kronos…"
*SIGH*
"Is reality.
We are in a fanfiction right now that is being typed by some random guy."
I then look away from Kronos and face you.
YES! YOU! The one reading this right now!
I'll be speaking to you later, but right now, I gotta untangle this mess.
"Come on, stop acting all surprised! Lincoln Loud is known for breaking the fourth wall from time to time. I know you've done it before!"
"I thought I… was just talking to myself!"
"Ever since it's airing in the year 2016, The Loud House has gained a significant following. The idea of one eleven year old boy living with ten sisters stirs the creative minds of certain types of people. While some people say that they are disgusted by the work that is produced as a result of this show, I personally think that everybody has some kind of creative side to them and they should be ENCOURAGED to let that creativity out. Regardless of story content. The stories that are never posted, in my opinion, are much WORSE, than the posted stories which are what some may consider as lackluster. We are on the same website as many other great works of Loud House fanfiction. Beloved by tens of thousands of people. The multiverse that we keep going into is actually a metaphor: fanfiction!"
"The time my family locked me out!? Do people… make stories about THAT!?"
"No Such Luck fanfictions are… plentiful. Again, stories that are never posted are worse than bad stories that are posted. Our author, Threebranch, knew that overused cliches can be dismantled and presented in a new light. The No Such Luck fanfictions are an excellent example. Ever since the year 2010, he'd been world building a superhero team parody story called 'The Adjustments.' Stupid name, I know, but one day, Threebranch realized that nobody cares about his original characters. That's when he started combining THAT story with a hypothetical Loud House fanfiction that he may or may not actually write. It took about nine months to convince him to start writing after he took into account all the Loud House AU's."
"This… Threebranch had everything planned from the very beginning?"
"Well, no not exactly. I was originally supposed to be the main character, then Threebranch thought I was too Mary Sue and made me a side character. You, Kronos, was originally supposed to be the villain."
"Wait! What!? How could I be the villain!?"
"All you really did was give out marijuana to traumatized Lincoln's in the multiverse using a multiverse travel device that you invented."
"But you… gave me telekinesis."
"Half the time in the original story, you were actually helping me out with fighting inbreeder Lincolns, Sister-wives, and even sin kids. The idea was scrapped because it was way too cringey. You became the main character. Lincorp and BlairTech replaced your role and the council went from five to seven members with the introduction of Rocket. The telekinesis came from an idea Threebranch had when watching a certain rap music video that he thought you would like. The movie, Chronicle, is just an add on."
"I… I need some time to take this all in."
"I suggest you go back to Detroit. I'm gonna destroy this church!"
"WHAT!"
"I would not have known any of this if it wasn't for Threebranch! I'm tearing down this church! I don't need it and neither does anyone else! Now go on… L is waiting for you. Now remember! I'll allow you free roam in the multiverse but I have one rule!"
"Ummm… Only judge the Lincoln Louds and hurt the sisters or the sin kids ONLY when necessary."
"You feel that? That's Threebranch speaking. Now get out of here!"
Kronos speed walked to the exit but just when he's about to open the door, I shouted out,
"HEY, SON!"
He quickly turned his head around. Any quicker and he might have broken his neck.
I detached the telekinesis gem from my crown and shouted,
"YOU'LL NEED THIS!"
I threw it at him, which he caught.
"T-thank you…"
He exits the church. Now it's just the two of us.
If you're reading this, take a moment to pat yourself on the back for enduring through the many chapters of this… stupid story.
About two-thirds of all readers quit after Chapter 2 and about another twenty percent quit during Jigsaw's game.
That means you're part of the… twelve percent who actually made it all the way.
Well, that was 'Things Are Happening!' It has been a very educational eight months and it's great that we can share this story with you guys.
There were plans for a fanfiction about me, Mellark, and Jigsaw having a podcast debunking Lyra and her teachings, but that's too boring.
I'll let you off with this: If I remain self-righteous, I can't ever have the righteousness of God. I need to stop comparing myself to others. Especially the other Lincolns.
Christ died for me. I'm still a dirty, rotten sinner. There is none good.
Alright, I'm done boring you all. I really do hope to see you all soon and thank you all again for reading.
Oh, before I forget.
"The grace of our Lord Jesus Christ be with you all.
Amen."