Life without Tig.

Ava was home, she recovered quickly – the doctor's were surprised at the speed. Apparently I had passed on my "gunshot wound recovery speed" onto my daughter. After a few days of dialysis, she was weaned off of the procedure and went home strong and healthy. We had settled into Opie's house, I had wanted to get my own apartment but, Jax and Opie made me stay put. I should have known.

"Time for school," I hollered in the kitchen, it was a Friday morning and the kids were ready for school to be out before the bus even showed up. Opie shuffled out of his bedroom, looking hung over. His long hair was a mess and he could barely keep his eyes open. The kids didn't respond, "Kenny and Ellie Winston you have three minutes until the bus gets here, let's go!"

"Please, for the love of God stop yelling," Opie begged, rubbing his temples.

"Welcome to fatherhood," I said, handing Kenny and Ellie their bags and sack lunches.

I walked them to the door, kissed them both and they ran out to catch the bus with the other group of kids that had gathered on the corner. Opie was sitting on the couch, skimming over the paper. He wore jeans from yesterday but no shirt, "Party at SAMCRO tonight," he said, without looking up, "Inauguration kind of thing. Jax didn't want it but, everyone is riding in."

"Sounds like fun," I said, "I'll call Neeta, send the kids to Jax and Tara's." Opie nodded but went back to his paper and sighed dramatically, "What is it," I asked.

"Tig's been asking about you," Opie said, sitting back on the couch.

"And?"

"And I think you need to reconsider your decision."

Opie choked out the words he had rehearsed over and over in his head. He didn't want to send her back to Tig but, he would do it anyway. Gracie was a shadow of herself without him; even with Ava back in her arms. He hated seeing her eyes red and face wet from crying. If he could take her up and kiss her like he wanted, sleep next to her like he wanted; he knew everyone would be okay.

I went and flopped down on the couch next to him, "I miss him."

"Tell me something I don't know," Opie said, turning the page of paper.

"I just can't keep pushing everything he's done into the back of my brain," I said, feeling my eyes moisten, "When this all happened, all I could think of was that it was my fault I didn't get out of there sooner. That it was my fault because I brought a baby into a world like this, that I kept her around a man who would have no problem killing someone's wife."

"For Kenny or Ellie or you or Ava," Opie said, "I would kill anyone I had to. It's what we do."

"He killed my sister, Opie," I said, "How could I ever think… how could I ever forgive," I turned to Opie, "How could you stand to look at me? At him? After all that he did?"

"Because you loved him, Gracie," Opie said, "And, I love you."

I smiled at Opie and hugged him, his chin on the top of my head, "I love you too, Ope. You're my best friend."

"Grace," he said, and my head shot up when he didn't add the "ie", "I love you more than that."

"What are you talking about," I asked, thinking this would be a 'I love you this much' game and end in a wrestling match like when we were kids.

"I love you like Tig loves you. Like David loved you," Opie said, his chest rising and falling, his shoulders sagged like an unbearable weight had been lifted off of them, "I always have," he was excited now and he took my face in his hands, "Always!"

And then, he kissed me. For a split second, I had a mind to kiss him back but, I felt my eyebrows furrow and I pushed him away, "No," I choked out, "No! You can't tell me to go back to Tig and then tell me you love me… like that!"

Opie looked confused, like maybe that wasn't exactly how he had planned that situation. I stood up and quickly walked to my room, could l love Opie that way? No. Ew? Maybe? What about Tig? Well, fuck. Ava was sleeping so I flopped on the bed and closed my eyes, rubbing my temples.

Well, fuck was right.

Neeta was over, bringing Abel and Thomas with her. All of the kids were watching a movie, Neeta was reading when I left. I wore a tight little number, a black dress with a lace overlay and long sleeves that showed my skin – only on my arms. In SAMCRO, a new president party was much like an inauguration ball. You wore your best – or, as best as it got for some. Mostly the old ladies were the ones who showed off their wardrobe and jewelry. I had decided to take two and a half hours and straighten my hair, with the help of Ellie. It was down to the middle of my back and shown in the lights of parking lot. I loved it; I would do it more often if it didn't take all day. The parking lot was full. Bikes and cars and women.

I entered the clubhouse alone. It was a first in a long time; I held my chin high as I was greeted here and there. Word must have gotten around because there were a ton of skanks on Tig and people were blatantly staring at my ringless fingers. I saw Tara in the corner, talking with Jax, "Is it that obvious," I sighed, looking around.

"Only to everyone," Tara smiled, she wore a short blue dress that sparkled, she looked good, "I like your hair."

I glanced that way again and Tig jerked his head down the hallway. Jax pushed me in that direction, "Just talk to him, he is your baby daddy."

"Fuck off, Jax," I said, walking down the hallway, letting Tig follow. He was wearing dark jeans and a dark blue button up. His hair was freshly washed and extra curly. I pushed open the door to the dorm we usually shared; now Happy had taken over it. I turned around and met Tig's eyes after he closed the door. I was done after that.

I pounced on him, kissing his face; nearly crawling up him. It's funny how he could make me feel that way; like I would explode if I didn't have him right then. Something about the look in his eyes, the way his lips parted slightly. The ends of every nerve in my body were on fire and then they all went haywire when Tig pushed me away, "Stop, Gracie."

Tig just turned down a fuck, shit was about to get real.