Chapter 36
Meulin had been paddling her small rowboat out in the open ocean fur what had seemed like days and nights, only stopping for some sleep and to catch fish with her claws. Her happy, cheerful kitty demeanor had long faded away; now she was frequently tired and hungry. The fact that all her dreams were plagued with nightmares didn't help. But she knew she had to continue on. Eventually she would reach land, and then the kitty sailors at the port would treat her nicely. They knew who she was, after all. Miserable as she was, she knew that she could make it out of here.
She hadn't used the coins yet. Indeed, shipping was fur from her mind at the moment. Quarters hadn't spoken to her since giving her the boat. He was apparently anxious for her to use them, she figured. Maybe soon, but not now.
Instead all of her spare time and methodical rowing had been used for thinking. She thought about what could pawsibly have made her feel like she was half-dead (her dreamself had been killed before she could even sleep once) but she had little idea what it could be. She just felt like a purrt of her had died inside, but a part of her was still alive, and that part just needed to get home.
She had a theory that it was her medicine; she had run out of it after a few days at sea. Kurloz was probably worried sick about her, and he would definitely have wanted her to keep taking that medicine. But now that she was seeing things more clearly, she felt like it wouldn't be right for her to take it. She had never questioned her matesprit's guidance before, but now that she was seeing things without him for the first time, having experiences he would probably never have, she felt like it was only natural to think for herself. Why this gave her a strange sense of fear she wasn't sure.
But as she thought and thought while rowing, her mind drifted to her memories. Memories that the medicine had made her forget. Memories that the medicine had made her remember with fear—and clear understanding.
She had kept a laptop in her sylladex the whole time, keeping it with her right at the beginning of her voyage in case she had needed it. She had only used it once to talk to Mituna, but not to Kurloz. After what she had remembered, she wasn't sure if she could face him anymore. Soon she would talk to Mituna again, but only when her mind was ready. She would have also sought Aranea for some advice—she was apparently trying to keep watch on some of the things that went on—but she had a feeling that she was too busy trying to make sense of things in Skaia that she would pay her no attention. That was alright—no one ever paid attention to the cat.
Normally, thinking wouldn't have been a problem—she would just think about ships and happy things and trivial things—but now thinking was like a chore because she had to rattle her brain to find all those memories that the medicine had hid away. She finally found them when she just a few miles from her hive.
She had been living happily in a cave with her lusus, who she had simply named Kitty when she was just a wriggler. The name stuck, and she remembered that Kitty had had two mouths with the biggest smiles. They had lived happily together, with Meulin and her lusus always hunting for their own food and cooking and eating it. All that meat was full of protein that gave her so much strength despite her small, cat-like frame. But none of it was worth anything when Kurloz came.
She had first met, she could now remember, on a hot day. The Beforan sun was scorching the planet, and the weather channels all said there would be a drought—and consequently a food shortage. It was tough, but Meulin remembered that she had stored up plenty of food well enough. Not Kurloz, though. The poor troll had apparently gotten caught in the heat and had passed out, possibly due to exhaustion or lack of water. Regardless, Meulin had taken him into her hive to try and nurse him back to health. It wasn't long before Kurloz had recovered and was spending the rest of the days until the drought ended with Meulin inside their cave, the two of them bonding together. Kitty trusted Kurloz then and was even ok with them being alone. Meulin remembered Kurloz's voice with sadness; it was so soothing and deep, so reassuring and charming. Every time she heard his voice—well, most times—she felt as if any stress she had was just melting away.
The two stayed together even after the drought had subsided; the two would alternate between staying at each other's hives. It was official; they were matesprits, and they had fallen in love so quickly and so thoroughly that they were practically inseparable. How it had happened, Meulin still couldn't piece together, even with her memories intact—the important thing was that they had fallen in love and that nothing could have separated them.
And then things changed when Kurloz had an awakening.
AN: Sorry this chapter seemed a bit short. I had intended to give Kurloz's backstory in one chapter, but due to the length I've decided to cut it down a bit. The next chapter continues Meulin and Kurloz's story.