"I'm Waking Up To Ash And Dust, I Wipe My Brow And I Sweat My Rust, I'm Breathing In The Chemicals. This Is It The Apocalypse, I'm Waking Up, I Feel It In My Bones, Enough To Make My System Blow, Welcome To The New Age." - Imagine Dragons; Radioactive.

I gasped and bit back a scream, Cato's arm automatically encasing me to his chest as he ducked us down, multiple screams of fear and shock radiated through the hall. I looked up from under Cato, the opposite end of the hall had been reduced to rubble, the wall blasted open and glass shattered, people rushed around, some helping others and some unconscious on the floor. Cato shouted over to someone across the room, being drowned out by other people, and pulled me up a lot more delicately that he had when I was dragged down.

His hands remained on my shoulders tightly, steering my forward in the crowd, becoming further and further away from the front door, where people flocked out in mobs.

"That wasn't one of ours," I breathed out, looking to Cato momentarily as he cast me one look.

"They must have known … we gotta get out of here now … there's a hovercraft waiting for us on the roof."

I looked ahead of me, Haymitch and Katniss not far ahead of us, the first looking calm and ready, whereas Katniss seemed frantic as her eyes darted amongst the people around us. Another bomb hit, this time it sounded as if it happened outside of the Justice Building, the impact still causing a small quake in the ground, glass shattering from the windows.

Cato dragged us down once more, his eyes watching me carefully, eyes darting to my stomach, causing his arms to tighten around me. We stared at each other then; the both of us fearful, yet hardness took over blue and green eyes, knowing that there were important things that had to be done today. This was the beginning of something so important, something much bigger than us, something that could ensure a completely different and happy future for my little girl.

My arms tightened equally around him, for the first time in months being willing to be held in his embrace. One of my hands rested on the curve between his neck and shoulder, the other holding on tightly to his forearm, burying my head into his chest as another bomb hit, gun shots began sounding outside, meaning that a full blown fight had begun.

"We gotta move we can't stay here," I heard Cato yell, allowing him to pull me up, and running with him towards the hallway leading to the stairwell. Bits of rubble flew through the air as another pillar collapse, and I felt a sharp tug on my arm to pull me out of the way, colliding into Cato as I stumbled over my own feet. This was not what I signed up for.

Haymitch and Katniss were already making their way up the stairs when we reached them, Noelle far ahead of them as she headed up the stairs, only looking back and stilling as we reached them. Karina stood at the foot of the stone steps, a gash alongside her forehead, her hands reaching out to embrace me as we reached her, her eyes watering but face completely calm.

"Where's Drew?"

Her expression to the question I had asked was an answer in itself; lips trembled slightly before she withdrew from me, turning around as she moved past Haymitch and Katniss continuing up the stairs. The sounds of explosions never ceasing as Haymitch and Cato spoke quickly between themselves, and I took that time to wonder where Katniss' prep team must have been, whether they were caught or killed, or had gotten out with several out citizens from Two.

That was when another person entered my mind; Peeta. Peeta wasn't here, he clearly hadn't returned, and with the amount of explosions going on outside I doubted he would risk running through it alone.

"What about Peeta?" I asked, as we stopped on the stairs for a breather, and I leaned against Cato while catching my breath, taken by surprise when I felt his lips brush my left temple.

It didn't take that long for Katniss to go into a frenzy, Peeta's name had struck some chord and before I even knew it she was pushing past all of us, forcing her way down the steps once again, only for Cato to grab onto her arm and yank her backwards.

"Are you crazy? You're who they're looking for!"

"I can't leave him, he went back for me, I can't just leave!"

Their dislike for one other truly came out with every comment they screamed at each other, voices rising as Katniss fought more and more against his grip, my nerves grating on me with every explosion that overpowered their voices, this was not a time of argument. But it was true, we couldn't leave Peeta, he was equally important as Katniss, not to mention the terror on her face at the thought of leaving him.

"You can't force me to leave him!"

"Yes I can fire girl! Even if I have to drag you!"

"If you even think about it I'll tear your-"

"You're really not in the position t-"

"Shut up! I'll go!"

Cato's eyes snapped to me in anger, Katniss' in astonishment, it felt so strange to see her so emotional, she was always so self-composed, that to see her so worked up over one person hit home. She loved him. Whether she knew it or not didn't matter, but she did and she loved him from the pits of her heart. Right then was when I knew exactly how she felt.

"No you're fucking not."

"We don't have time to argue about this Cato, I'm going."

I brushed past the two on the stairs, hearing the thundering footsteps of Cato behind me, feeling his large hand grip onto my shoulder, turning me to face him and grip onto my upper arms.

"This isn't just about you anymore! I'm not gonna risk losing the both of you in a suicide mission!"

"It's not a suicide mission," I argued "you said it yourself everyone is looking for Katniss, and you have Ivy and Ellie waiting for you … we need Peeta."

"We can make do without!" He screamed, as he pulled harder on my arm, our faces inches apart, and as always when I was in such close proximity with Cato, the entire world faded away, only hearing the softness in his whispered voice, "I'm not losing you again … I just got you back."

My hands rested briefly on his neck, feeling his hands loosen from around me without realising, and I planted a kiss on the corner of his lips, drawing back to see that his eyes were closed, eyebrows creased in frustration.

"I'd go back for you."

I pulled out of his hold before I had finished my last words, dashing back down the stairs and ignoring his calls, my instincts kicking in, feeling so foreign to me, something I had once considered another limb to me now felt as if it were a stranger. And I ran, I ran faster than I had done in a long time, memories of me outrunning mutations in my games returning.

"Peeta!"

I yelled through the carriages, smoke encasing each and every room, the platform now a rubble mess, how I was supposed to get Peeta out of this I did not know. I had never been one for plans; improvisation was used a lot, even in my assassinations, because we all knew how much they didn't go according to plan. I felt a constant assault of kicks within my abdomen, reminding me of just how dangerous this was, and that despite my thoughts on needing to save Peeta, it was a stupid idea.

But then I remembered Katniss' face, the anguish and fear in her voice as she thought he was being left behind, how powerful and how much I believed his words. Peeta was just as important as Katniss, and more important than me.

"Peeta, where are you?!"

I began to lightly jog down the hall of bedrooms, stopping in my tracks as I heard a chorus of footsteps from the carriage ahead, smoke so thick that I couldn't on my eyes to see them. Peacekeepers. They were crawling all over the place, whoever Snow had tortured information out of, and he tortured them good. He was ready for this.

I yelped as I was yanked by the collar of my jacket into one of the rooms, collapsing onto the floor on top of Peeta, watching as he scrambled on his knees to get the door closed. His blonde hair so bright that it stood out, and I coughed up some more as the smoke left a bitter taste of ash in my throat. His hand covered my mouth in attempt to silence the noise, shushing me softly, and as I looked up at his once clean face I notice his bruising cheek, dirt covering his left side, his face ashen as my coughing fit calmed down.

"They're everywhere," his whispered, his hand withdrawing as men shouted just outside the door, running past us completely, "they're looking for Katn- Katniss! Is she-"

"She's fine," I cut him off, "she's waiting on the hovercraft for us."

His shoulders sagged, a sigh of relief escaping him before his eyes focused me, his head tilting slightly in confusion.

"You came back for me?"

I nodded, and just as he opened his mouth to say more another bomb went off, much closer than I could have anticipated, to the point where I felt the vibrations of it, the train carriage rattling even.

A lot of things were going through my mind then, the rebellion, Katniss, Haymitch, Ivy and Ellie, my little girl, and the fact that the hovercraft wouldn't wait forever for Peeta and I. Grabbing onto his wrist I pulled us both up, neither of us needing to say anything as he opened the door, the both of us simultaneously taking in deep breaths as we left the room, my eyes squinting once more through the smoke, and headed down the direction I had come from.

There were few things I remembered after that, screaming and shouts of 'freeze' were yelled in our direction, and my mind went into autopilot mode, just as it had that last night in the arena, and I yanked onto Peeta's arm. Running back in the direction we came in and into the next cart, my hand yanked down forcibly on the metal handle of the carts door, successfully ripping it off, and ignored Peeta's wide eyes as I carried on.

I remembered hearing his voice, disbelieving and dazed as we continued to the end of the train carts, "how did you do that?"

I would have replied, only the current onslaught of smoke, and with the doors to the back of the trains final cart wide open instantly caused me to panic. I froze, feeling Peeta bump into me from behind and making us stumble. I didn't feel any pain in it, to be honest it was barely noticeable no matter how large the boy was.

I remembered dread, a whole tone of dread, and how the beating of my heart accelerated to a tremendous amount, as I had realised that I had walked right into their trap. The grenade was thrown into the hallway of our carriage, men shouting outside to get back, and I barely gave Peeta any time to understand the situation before I turned us around and pushed him back down the hall. The red light receptively flashing as the bleeping fastened its pace.

And then, all of the sudden, the train was jolting, feeling as if it had been blown off the tracks and half way into the air, my ears exploding as the entire cart was destroyed. I remembered being thrown backwards, my hands instinctively flying to my stomach, and I blacked out before I made any contact with the solid floor.

Pain, a lot of pain. That was registered first for me, the aching of my bones in my body, the hammering in my head, the feeling of my skin burning. My eyelids were red, something that happened when they were closed, light streaming in from an unknown source. I had no idea where I was, and I failed to remember many things, amidst the pain and confusion I struggled to open my eyes. Attempted to lay a palm on my forehead, only when I tried to nothing happened, my fist clenched, and I felt a burning sensation against my wrist as it wriggled around.

My wrists were bound.

That was when my eyes flew open, the pain of the bright white light hanging above my head causing them to shut back quickly. I blinked several times, green eyes taking several seconds to adjust to the light, a gasp escaping my lips as I finally expressed the amount of pain I was in.

I was laying down on a cold hard surface, I no longer wore my clothes, I had been changed into a plain white shirt and shorts. The fabric rough against my pale skin, and only able to move my head around slightly, I realised now that my ankles were bound as well as my wrists, tight white Velcro. Everything here seemed technologically advanced, the metal gurney I lay on. The white lights built into the white painted ceiling of the room.

I sucked in a breath, my face contorting into one of horror. They had got us, they had gotten to us, and Peeta. Peeta! Where was he?! Was he bound in some sort of medical room? Was he okay? Had they hurt him?

Millions of questions ran through my mind, flying between Peeta, Katniss, the battle beginning in District Two, Cato.

I promised myself I'd return, I'd promised I'd bring Peeta and me back. I promised to keep my little girl safe.

A lump rose in my throat, chest aching and the pain in my head increasing as I fought to keep sobs down, I would die before I told them anything. But my daughter? Who was innocent in everything, and deserved more than anyone else a chance, was stuck here with me. It was my fault, it was my entire fault. I had done someone reckless, I had tried being a hero, I tried to save someone and it had gotten me stuck here.

In a white room containing touchscreen monitors surrounding the walls, glass trays surrounding me with tools, syringes, things I didn't want to know about.

"Please god, please," my soft beginning fell upon empty ears, for there was no god, I should have learnt that by now, no higher being who watched over me, no one was here now.

I lay there for what felt like hours, hearing the cameras situated in each corner of the room shift from left to right, wondering who was watching behind a screen on the other side. Whether there were a bunch of artificially enhanced scientists observing me at the back, and with each exaggerating scenario I became more terrified, because they didn't strap you into place inside a lab just for questioning.

The metal was so cold beneath my skin, and my bonds pressed into my wrists and ankles, and I was sure they'd leave a mark. My hair had been pulled back, brush and put into a tight low pony. It seemed when I was to be finally seen they requested me to look somewhat presentable.

I couldn't see my reflection, and from the impact of the bomb on the train I would have thought that I adorned multiple cuts and bruises, maybe even stains of ash. Of course, the capitol was all about perfection, so I had no doubt in my mind that they had rid me of those.

Only to inflict more scars and pain with my torture for what could be the remainder of my life. Both physical and metaphorical.

I let out a choked sob, not for myself, but for the life inside me. I had promised her so much, wanted so much for her, everything I stood for was so she could have a better life. What good was me fighting for it if she was gone?

I exhaled loudly, attempting to pull myself together. They would come, Cato, and Finnick and District 13. If not for me then at least for Peeta, Katniss wouldn't allow that, she would not allow Peeta to die. He couldn't. I just had to pray, pray that if they did something, it would be soon, because I knew for a fact whatever President Snow had planned for me would be beyond excruciating, and long enough if he enjoyed it.

My head perked up as far as it could, the distant sound of footsteps becoming louder. I couldn't see anything, but I more or less heard the sound of a door sliding open. The voices quietened, and without noticing who it was I felt a large hand rest on my head, smoothing my hair back.

It was meant to be a sign of affection, something a parent would do to a child, only as a shadow cast over me, white hair and penetrating, terrifying eyes made contact with mine did I know that it was taunting. When he spoke, I felt the hairs on the back of my neck stand, my body become numb, and my senses be filled with the smell of iron from his breath.

"I see you're finally awake Miss Willows."

I didn't reply, and I didn't think I really had it in me to reply, that hard edge I once had in me, the edge where I was unafraid of the consequences of my actions and spoke without really thinking it through, that was gone. That was someone who spoke because they had nothing to lose, knew that there was no way to be hurt if they had already taken everything. But now they did, now more than ever in fact I had too much to lose, and he knew it.

That small knowing grin of his said it all; an old man with pure white eye, and steely eyes had the power to destroy every single person in this country.

"It is such a shame to be reunited under these circumstances."

I stared at him for a long time, biting down on my tongue, forcing myself to not reply, I couldn't afford to. He was looking for a reason to move on to the torture.

"A rebellion is very damaging, is it not Miss Willows? Not just for the opposing side, but for their own followers also, blinded by hope and false promises, they lose more than they would should they abide by rules."

He moved away from me, his hands coming to join around his back as he paced the small room, and it was only then I noticed another occupant. A man, not as old as Snow, but with greying hair and dark eyes, large framed glasses and stood with a hunch, almost as if he had spent most of his life looking to the floor.

His persona was the opposite of Snow's, not one of confidence or vindictiveness, in face he appeared to be soft, fearful even, and only connected with my eyes for a second before returning to the floor.

Of course I had learned long ago that appearances could be deceiving, I had learnt that the hard way.

"But, that is a conversation I shall reserve for another day … I am here for an entirely different, far more interesting subject dear."

My focus snapped back to him once more, my heart beat speeding up the slightest bit, nervousness eating away at me as I painfully waited for his next words.

"This here is Doctor Shaw, a man who I believe, worked with your father for many yes."

The colour drained from my face as each word left his mouth, I felt completely exposed, bare in both the clothing I wore and how I was strapped to this metal tray without no way of defending myself. No way of running. Doctor Shaw, as Snow had called him, seemed to find it harder than he had before to raise his head from the ground.

My breath hitched in my throat to the grin on Snow's face, a grin so sadistic and terrifying that I couldn't help but let out the soft whimper from my lips. The tears that stung behind my eyelids took an enormous amount of strength to hold back, I felt as if this was already over.

"In fact, Doctor Shaw is extremely familiar with your father's last project. Until now, he had no way of expanding on the research, simply because there were no traces left by your father."

He stopped to clear his throat, a white handkerchief, smeared with blotches of blood emerged from his pocket, and dabbed his mouth with it briefly.

"You see Miss Willow's, you're fathers remarkable work is a scientific breakthrough, one that would benefit our world dramatically. Think of how unstoppable our armies could be, how far less casualties there would be should the men who sacrifice their lives could protect us. It guarantees such wonderful prospects."

The heavy weight in my chest only increased, worsening as if another brick was placed on top of another. He was dancing around the subject, touching on it and playing only to torment me, and he was enjoying it to no end. It made me feel sick, along with the thick ball in my throat it felt as if bile was rising, and my mouth was too dry to be able to swallow it down.

"It came to my attention long ago Miss Willows, in fact when you entered the games that not all traces of this had disappeared. Your father had cleverly devised a plan, one that had been successful, a man so poisoned in his mind by those of the rebellion that he did not stop to think of the wonder he had created."

"No," I breathed out, a single tear finally set free from my eyes as I stared at him in fear, watching as his snake-like gaze on me increased, his tone losing all softness in it, "you can't do this."

"Yes Miss Willows, I know of what you are."

A chocked sob escaped my lips, and I closed my eyes, a single imagine of Cato forming itself there, the blueness of his eyes, and his arrogant smirk imprinting itself into my mind.

"Rest assured, I will get what I want Miss Willows, whether you give it to me willingly … or by force."

I would die. I would die before I ever gave him anything, and with that thought the ache in my chest for my unborn child and my love for a man so far away from me worsened.

But I would die, because my father had done the exact same thing, because he knew what he had created was something that should not have been done. I was trusted with never letting this get out, that I was the exception. At the age of ten my father had entrusted me with abilities that shouldn't be logically possible. Strength, speed, senses. All enhanced and all the perfect ingredients to make a super soldier.

And I would die; I would die because in the hands of a monster, it would bring nothing but destruction.

But I loved him. I loved him, I loved him, I loved him, I loved him. A man who had stolen my heart, who had understood me more perfectly than anyone else could, and I had wasted time. Wasted time on small things and distancing myself, when I could have enjoyed the remainder of our life together. I felt as if I couldn't say it enough.

I still, and always would, love him.

This has been LONGGGGGGGGG overdue, and I sincerely apologize for that, but I won't lie to you I am truly not loving this story as much as I once did, I also can't promise when the next chapter will be. Hopefully soon, because I don't want to be cruel and keep you hanging on what's going on right now.

I have other projects I'm working on, actually it's an original story that's going to be published in electronic format! So for those of you who have kindles, tablets, etc. it'll be your kind of thing! It's what I dedicate most of my time to, but I promise you one way or another this story WILL be finished, actually I hope for it to be finished before the release of Catching Fire!

Anyway, again I sincerely apologize, and I hope you can forgive me!