Chapter 36: Dreams, Knives and Lies

"You know I can take whatever I want." The words reverberated between them, creating an echo on its own.

Kylo suddenly realised that they hadn't actually been said by Rey's mouth, that the resounding echo was in his head, in hers… they were connected, somehow.

He stared into her eyes, imagining his own to be as wide and shocked as hers, neither of them spoke, the silence in the room making the words in their heads seem louder.

He realised with a detached part of his mind that she still had his blood on her face, her lips. He cleared his throat awkwardly and said out loud, "It wasn't me… In the mask… at least, I wasn't in control… do you, feel it too?"

She nodded, "I knew it wasn't you somehow, but... he was your double, and… That was not my first dream of him either... The first was on Wednesday, the second was late Friday when I… climbed into your room." Her voice sounded shaky.

Kylo swallowed, "It was not my first either, I had one on Thursday night.. And in it, you gave me this." He gestured to the new wound on his face. "And I am pretty sure this matches it identically, though you used a sabre…"

"Made of blue light?" She asked him in a whisper, and he nodded. Rey shivered and he absently pulled a blanket around her shoulders as they continued to stare at each other.

"Did I... did I hurt you? In your dreams?" He was afraid of her answer, yet he needed to know.

She gave a small shrug and he had to pull the blanket back up her shoulders again, "In the first one we fought with the light sabres, there were small wounds, but nothing significant," She blushed and dropped her eyes for a second before carrying on, it made him remember the blushes he'd never found a cause of and he wondered what else had happened in that dream.

"In the second, it was like I was the prey and you the hunter, when you caught me you did… you went in my head, like you did in our dream, it hurt but it was nothing like-" She took in his face and winced, an awful, guilty look on her face, "Nothing like your face." She finished miserably.

Kylo pulled her to him, tucking her under his arm and holding her tightly, "It doesn't matter," He said, and it didn't, it really didn't, they were together now and that was what was important to him.

"But it does!" She almost cried, voice full of confusion and fear, "What is happening to us? Where are these dreams coming from?"

Kylo stroked her hair, another question coming to him, "Rey, did you dream of a red wasteland and being hit by lightning when you were ill?"

Rey flinched against him, "You saw?" She asked, her voice barely a whisper now.

"I did," He said gently, "I pulled you out… it was... awful. I watched as you burned," He swallowed, bile suddenly burning in the back of his throat at the memory, "I couldn't stand it and somehow I pulled you out."

Rey sat up and took his face almost reverently in her hands, "You were the black star?"

Kylo looked back at her, heart swelling inside, "I don't know what I was, but I seemed to be watching from the sky, so maybe that was what I looked like." He didn't ask her what that dream had meant, he thought he might have some idea and it would be nothing she would want to relive.

"Thank you." She whispered, the words like a prayer and plastered herself against his chest, almost as if she would be able to sink into him.

They sat like that for sometime, their bodies against each other, Rey's arms around him, her hands absently caressing his skin, his arms around her, one of his hands stroking her hair.

They breathed in sync, their hearts seemed to be beating as one, and Kylo slipped into her mind by accident. This was nothing like his dream though, like their dream. He wasn't invading, he was just there, mixed in with her thoughts and feelings, it was bewildering, he obviously didn't have the focus his dream-self possessed. But it was better that way, he shouldn't even be there in the first place, he slipped out as softly as he could, afraid she would feel like he'd violated her.

Rey gave a little sigh and he realised she'd fallen asleep, he felt a stab of guilt. In his all consuming need to see her, he had selfishly forgotten how ill she had been.

He tucked the blanket more securely around them, and even asleep, just the scent of her skin and the feel of her body set his blood afire.

He tried to think about other things, instead of the closeness of her; why was her bedding all on the floor? And what the hell was Hux's game? He considered, very briefly, slipping into her mind to try and see her memory of her encounter with Hux, but he dismissed it almost immediately. It would be wrong and it would probably make him so angry he would go and rip Hux's face off immediately.

He allowed himself a small sigh, and Rey murmured softly, shifting to curl herself against his body more firmly, just as she had after he and the Knights had wrestled her to the ground when she had been delirious.

There was no doubt in his mind now that they were somehow meant to be together, but he wondered if there were a bigger picture that neither of them were seeing yet.

He had never heard of anything even remotely resembling their shared dream experiences, and he had no idea who he could even ask. It someone else told him that it was happening to them, he'd think they were drunk, high or just crazy.

He could hear birds start to sing, shit, he didn't want to leave but if he didn't now, he'd have to spend all day in her room, (which admittedly didn't sound terrible), but the Knights would miss him and someone might come up to see Rey.

He sighed and stroked Rey's face, shifting her so he could kiss her awake.

"Mmmmm," The noise she made was at once both languid and sensual, and it sent heat straight to his groin.

He took a careful breath in before speaking softly, "It's nearly dawn, I should be going."

Rey sat up, hair messy, eyes sleepy, and even though she was wrapped in a plain blanket she looked like his own personal goddess.

She gave him a shy look then winced as she saw his wounded cheek, "Let me help you get your t-shirt back on." She stood, rummaged around till she found it, then paused, nose wrinkling in distaste, "It's still really wet, would you like to borrow one of mine?"

Kylo laughed at her, "It'll be fine, it's only just till I get back to my room. I doubt yours would fit me, even if they are too big for you."

She rolled her eyes at him then helped him on with his long sleeved t-shirt, the dampness made him shiver and he felt his nipples harden, a few seconds later Rey had latched onto one with her hot mouth, sucked it whilst he stood frozen, then danced away looking ridiculously smug.

Kylo's head spun as he quashed the urge to retaliate, "I will get you back for that," He promised her, voice a low growl, "But now, I really have to go." She let him grab her for a quick kiss then gently pushed him away before he could give in to his desire.

She went to open the window and looked up at him, looking a little shy again, "I could meet you downstairs soon? Unless you need to sleep?"

Kylo smiled carefully, trying not to pull the right side of his face as he did so, "I don't think there is any chance I will be able to sleep now," He sighed regretfully, "But I think you should, you were really ill, and I already disturbed your sleep enough."

Rey opened her mouth to protest and interrupted herself with a yawn instead, Kylo smirked, "That is all the confirmation I need, I'll see you later, at breakfast or if not then, at lunch." He kissed her and put a foot on the windowsill before turning one last time, "By the way, why is all your bedding on the floor?"

Rey pulled the blanket around her securely then shrugged self consciously, "The mattress was too soft, I guess I'm just used to sleeping on the floor."

Kylo's face was an odd mixture of amusement and guilt, the wound on his face looked even worse in the dawn light and Rey felt her own guilt rise, but he leaned in for one last kiss and then he was hauling himself up and away.

She waited for a moment before shutting the window and pulling the curtain closed, then hauled her old t-shirt back on and settled back into her nest, blushing slightly, she could still feel everywhere their skin had touched, his mouth had touched. She shivered and snuggled into her blankets more, there was no way she was going to go to sleep now…

Rey woke with a start of surprise as someone knocked on her door, it was Mara, "Rey dear, may I come in?"

Rey hastily adjusted her blankets and answered, "Okay."

"And how are you feeling- oh my goodness child, why is there blood on your face?" Mara looked horrified and instantly knelt to feel Rey's forehead.

Rey felt herself blush, "Oh, it's okay Mara, I must have had a nose bleed or something, sorry."

Mara frowned, "Well you don't feel overly hot, but it looks more likes it was dropped on you, rather than come from your nose."

Rey gave her a shrug as casually as possible while covering the antiseptic wipes with her feet, but Mara noticed the medical box on the bed, the bloody towel. SHIT.

"Rey, you need to tell me what's going on." Mara said quietly, but her voice was very serious.

Rey dropped her eyes, thinking furiously then sighed as a lie that may be believable came to her.

"Sometimes, I need to cut myself." She mumbled quietly, stars, this had better work.

Mara sighed, as if she wasn't completely surprised, "Okay, sweetheart, you need to show me so I can check, either I do, or I call the nurse."

Rey nodded, then dropped the blanket she had around her shoulders and pulled up the side of her t-shirt, turning wordlessly so Mara could see.

"I need to take the bandage off, okay?" Mara said and Rey nodded again, resigned. "Hmm. This looks older than the last 12 hours, where did the new blood come from, Rey?"

Rey shifted uncomfortably, "I did it on Sunday, but last night I pulled the scab off... more roughly than I intended."

Mara frowned but nodded, Rey wasn't sure if she believed her or not. "Well it looks as if you know how to dress your wounds at least, but I am going to have to ask how you did it and you will need to see the school counselor."

Rey winced, but nodded and careful not to knock the pillow that had her favourite knife underneath, she went to the wardrobe and fished out one of her lesser knives and handed it to Mara.

Mara gave her a stern look and said with conviction, "And the other one."

How did she know? Rey sighed and fished out another of her knives, luckily it was the partner of the first one, they looked like a set so hopefully that would put an end to it.

Mara gave her a firm nod, "Okay, I will book you in to see Mrs. Organa, do you feel up to going to classes after lunch or would it be best to stay off?"

Rey gaped at her then looked at the clock, it was 12.40! Mara gave a small chuckle at her expression, and Rey was relieved to see her smile again, "I think we'll just say you can start back on Monday, put on your uniform and eat lunch with your friends… but wash your face first! After lunch you need to come back here, okay?"

Rey nodded and Mara breezed out, holding Rey's knives carefully. Rey counted to sixty then dived into the wardrobe and pulled out the weapons and tools she had been able to get in her bags, she used the tape from the med kit to tape them to the underside of her table and chair, it wasn't a great hiding place, but it would have to do till she found a new one.

Once she was done, she returned the kit to the bathroom along with the small mirror, then washed her face… which made her think of Kylo… she could feel her cheeks getting warm and had to try several times before she could wipe the silly smile off her face.

As she pulled her stupid uniform on, she wondered what happened now, was he her boyfriend? Would they tell anyone or keep it a secret? Did she want to keep it a secret?

She suddenly felt awfully naive and inexperienced... Maybe she she should put some perfume on?

Fuck, no. This was stupid, she was being stupid. He could take her as she was or not, she wasn't going to change.

She pulled on her coat, straightened her uniform and went down stairs and out. She was halfway to the refectory when Finn shouted "Peanut!" at the top of his lungs, she looked up to see him barrelling towards her, grinning like a loon.

He caught her in his arms and swung her around, ignoring her protests. When he finally stopped spinning, he hugged her to him. "I'm so glad to see you up Peanut! Are you coming to lunch?"

Rey tried not to laugh at him, it was difficult. "Yes, and hopefully by the time we sit down I won't be dizzy anymore!"

He just smiled at her happily and flung an arm around her shoulders as they turned to walk back the way he had come. "You look much better… Oh and there is a scandal afoot! Or at least, a mystery that no one can solve. Someone or something cut up Kylo Ren's face!"

Rey blanched, shitting hell, "Oh really." She said faintly.

Finn didn't noticed her red cheeks, the wind helping to cool them down at least, "Yeah, it's like a slice all the way up his neck and cheek and eyebrow, he's telling the teachers he cut himself shaving!"

Rey snorted a laugh, that was the best he could do? She'd had to give up two of her knives! Then she felt instantly guilty, it was her fault after all.

Finn went on, "None of the Knights will tell anyone anything, not that that is surprising, but some people are saying it was a ghost! Like a poltergeist or something, someone said they'd heard the Knights do black magic, which is why they all wear black and maybe a spell went wrong and a demon did it, someone else said Kylo and Hux had a fight and Hux won…"

He trailed off when he noticed the look she was giving him, it was partly, are you a fucking idiot? and partly, seriously, how old are you?

He looked sheepish for a second, then rallied, "Well it can't have been shaving, can it?"

Rey rolled her eyes, "No, of course not. But I don't know why anybody even cares."

They entered the refectory and got their trays, Rey's stomach loudly reminding her she hadn't eaten since last night.

"So, where is he?" Rey asked as casually as she could as she chose a sandwich and some fruit… and a muffin, and a yogurt and some more fruit.

"Whoa, Rey, did you not have breakfast?" Finn said and Rey shook her head.

"I accidentally slept through it, I only woke up because Mara came to check on me… So, where is Kylo...Ren?"

Finn's frown turned excited again, "He was sent to see the nurse and then sent to Mrs. Organa, at least that is what people are saying, I only saw him at breakfast."

Everyone at Poe's table was very excited to see Rey much to her embarrassment, the girls got up squealing and hugged her, Poe got up and hugged her, Ismasta did too but held it longer than she was comfortable with, so she squeezed in between the girls to eat, trying to answer all their questions and eat at the same time.

"Okay people, let my Peanut eat, seriously," Poe said after sixty seconds of end to end questions. "So, have any of you seen Kylo Ren yet?"

Rey was grateful to him for changing the subject, but really wished he could have picked a different subject.

"Not since he was taken out of his first lesson to see the nurse," Poe said.

"It's weird though, I mean, obviously he didn't get it shaving, but he went up to bed last night fine, and then came down with that on his face." Brobard said.

Shaadr nodded, "I mean I know he's messed up and stuff but I really can't imagine him doing that to himself."

"Yeah, I mean, I know I shouldn't say this but he is pretty cute, why would he cut his face? It's the only good thing going for him." Kenjad said as she picked at her food. Most of the guys looked at her horrified, "What? He is, seriously… and I mean Rey must think so, she kissed him."

Rey sunk down in her chair as everyone looked at her, wishing the floor would open up and suck her in, dying right now seemed like such a good idea.

"No, Ken," Ismasta said and thank the light they all looked at him, "He kissed Rey, she didn't kiss him." On the other hand, no, the light could fuck right off, this was almost as bad.

"Dude, it doesn't matter who-" But Brobard was cut off as he saw who was walking up to their table, Rey turned with the rest, oh, of fucking course, why had she left her nest? Why, why WHY?

Hux looked down at her and smiled thinly, "Scavenger, a word. Now"

Rey gave him a withering look, putting all her irritation from the last twenty minutes into it, which turned out to be quite a lot. "Get bent, Hux."

If it were possible, his lips got thinner, "Okay, fine, you can either come and talk to me, or we can talk about the nurse's office here." He smiled, it was horribly smug as she scooted out of her chair.

"Peanut? What's going on?" Finn stood too, looking concerned.

Rey shot Hux a furious look then turned to Finn with a smile that didn't quite fit on her face, "It's fine, I'll be back in a sec, don't let anyone touch my food." She said and she walked off to the side of the room where the glass doors were, Hux following.

He stood too close, her blood sang with acid in her veins, "What?" She asked before he could open his mouth.

Hux looked disappointed and sighed, "Not afraid of me anymore? Shame. It's okay, I can change that." He lifted a finger to touch her lips and she jerked back.

"I really wouldn't touch me, if I were you. Unless, of course, you would like to lose each and every appendage starting with your dick."

He just moved closer to her, but this time she stood her ground, they were a breath apart, "Someday soon, you will scream for me," He said softly.

Rey smiled at him, it wasn't a nice smile, "I never scream, and there is nothing you could ever do that would make me."

Hux took a sharp breath in, "That sounds like a challenge. I will take it… By the way, why did you stab Kylo Ren?"

Rey didn't blink, didn't even blush, she was very proud of herself. "Whatever makes you think that was me? Apparently the Knights summoned a demon, who was pissed."

Hux studied her face for a moment then shrugged, "Just a theory I had, nevermind. See you later, Scavenger Scum." And he sauntered off.

Rey took a deep calming breath, she was going to beat the living shite out of him, she was going to wear his skin like a cape and drink milk from his empty fucking skull.

Finn looked at her oddly when she came back to their table chuckling. "What was that about? You didn't look happy but now you're laughing?"

Rey grinned at him, "It was Hux, so obviously he was being a dick. I was just laughing about what I am going to do to him." And she told him, he looked amused but also faintly sick.

Kylo had not gone back to sleep, he changed out of his soaking wet t-shirt, carefully taking it off so as not to touch his face, then he had to... take care of himself, or he would never be able to do any thinking today, and there was a lot of thinking he needed to do.

His orgasm, unsurprisingly, came quickly and left him gasping, the memory of Rey in his arms, wrapped around him, her tongue in his mouth, made him shudder.

He lay on his bed for a while breathing fast, waiting for his heart to stop hammering, then he had a shower, carefully not getting his head or face or collarbone wet, which wasn't easy.

Then he dressed and went downstairs for coffee… And that is when all the trouble started.

Stold, who he never seemed to see unless he really didn't want to be seen, walked through the kitchen, face like thunder (though that was normal) then walked backwards through the door to stare at Kylo's face.

He glared at Kylo, then unnecessarily shouted, "Mara! It's that boy again!" Then walked out after giving Kylo another filthy look.

Kylo had time for another mouthful of coffee before Mara came in, looked at Kylo, blanched and ran to him, "Whatever happened, Kylo?" She said horrified.

Kylo sighed in resignation, "I cut myself shaving," He answered dryly. In retrospect, he really should have come up with something better.

Mara gave him a hurt look, as if he'd just kicked Poe's stupid little cat or something. "Kylo, that is a serious wound! You need to go and see the nurse and you need to tell me what happened!"

Kylo sighed again and gestured vaguely to his face, "I'm fine, see? I fixed it."

Mara gave him a derisive snort, "Benjamin Solo, if you do not do as I tell you, I will go and find your mother."

Kylo glanced around quickly to make sure no one had heard her call him that, then glared at her. "I am fine. And my name, is Kylo Ren." He stalked off to the games room so he could kill things, but when he heard the outside door slam he legged it up the stairs instead and woke Ingalan up.

"Blood and bloody ashes Kylo, what happened to your face?" Ingalan said once he'd woken up enough to register it.

Kylo sighed, "I'll tell you over breakfast, come on." When Ingalan started to protest Kylo added, "Mara's on the war path and has gone to find my mother."

"Oh, fuck. Fine give me a second." Ingalan muttered and started to get up.

Kylo barged into the others rooms too, perversely enjoying waking them up- it was usually the other way around.

He filled them in as they hurried to the refectory, chose food they could take elsewhere and went to sit in the workshop to eat as there was no way Han would be up yet.

"So what's my excuse?" He asked when he was done, "I can't think of anything other than shaving and that is so obviously bull shit."

Zainmar shrugged, trying to wipe the grin off his face as he did, "I got nothing. If people hadn't seen you go to bed looking fine then it wouldn't be so hard. I suppose one of us could claim it was us, but, it is pretty bad and I have a feeling we might get expelled or something."

There was a pause then Javiell said, "And you really like her? Even though she carved you up like a side of beef?"

Kylo couldn't help grinning, "Yeah, I do… and to be fair, I blame Hux." His grin slid off as he felt anger flush through him.

Leonmar grimaced in disgust, "He has an awful lot to answer for, but I still can't believe he did that… It's so fucking creepy."

They all nodded. "Well, your new girlfriend is seven shades of crazy, maybe she can come up with a good idea for his payback." Javiell said.

Zainmar laughed, "Yeah Kylo, it's like she was made for you."

Kylo smiled, "Yeah, I really think she was." Then he sighed, "Guess it looks like I am really shit at shaving then."

They'd barely entered Miss Holdo's class when Luke came and got him, "Sorry Amilyn, but I need Kylo to come with me."

She nodded, unsurprised and Kylo picked up his bag and followed Luke, the Knights giving him sympathetic looks as he left.

Once they were out of earshot Luke looked at him with concern, "Ben, what is going on?"

Kylo forced down his irritation at that name, if he let Luke get to him now his mother would have a bloody field day. So he shrugged as nonchalantly as he could, "Shaving accident."

Luke's lips twitched, but he didn't smile, "Don't insult my intelligence, Ben."

"I wouldn't dream of it," Kylo answered blandly, smirking on the inside.

Luke's eyes narrowed like he knew about the secret smirk, "My problem is, you can't be afraid of anyone, no one can be bullying you, so you must be protecting someone… But why would you protect someone who had done that to you, Ben? Unless of course you have regressed several years and you did it to yourself, on purpose."

Kylo kept silent till they got to the nurse, who then repeated it all again as she tended his face. "Well at least you did a very good job with cleaning and binding it. The scar won't be as bad as it could be, I will give you some Bacta cream to put on it, three times a day and after you wash, though I would advise not getting it wet for as long as you can avoid it. You are very lucky to get away without stitches, young man."

Kylo tuned she and Luke out, they were just going round in circles now anyway... this was where Rey had been when Hux had… had molested her. Why the hell had Joselor thought it was okay to leave Rey alone with Hux? He'd never liked her, but he loathed her now.

"Ben." The name was quiet but Luke and Joselor stopped talking and Kylo's head snapped round to the door.

And there she was, his mother. She was tiny but she still made him feel like he was half her size, how did she do that? He stood up so he could look down on her, but it didn't make him feel any better, it never did.

She gave Luke and Joselor a tight nod, then said, "Come with me." And glided off.

Luke almost looked sorry for him, almost.

A/N: So I got a bit of fidgety writers block, consequently, this chapter is brought to you by a lot of gin. (Praise be to gin, in all its forms).