SCORPION - GRAVITY - CHAPTER 34
Walter was looking at his reflection in the mirror, wearing the black suit Toby accepted to lend him. He was lucky they were approximately of the same corpulence, because he didn't have any clothes appropriated for a funeral and given that Paige told him to come just one day before, he didn't have the time to buy any. He sure had a lot of shirts, he liked wearing it, it made him look more grown up and somehow well shaped, even if he would never admit to care for this kind of things. But nothing in his closet was appropriate for this occasion. In fact he never intended a funeral before. He lost his grandmother back when he was in Ireland, but his parents didn't let him come to the service because they thought that he was 'emotionally troubled' and that the odds of him saying or doing something inappropriate were too high. Then he moved to America and didn't have many news of his relatives, and the only people he cared for were his sister and his very few friends.
Megan arrived in his room and saw immediately that he was nervous, so she helped him with his tie knot and brushed his shoulders.
« It's going to be okay little brother. »
« I just… don't know how to behave. »
« I know. But don't put too much thoughts in this. There is no good way of attending a funeral. Just be there for your friend. Show her support you know. »
Walter sighed and closed the button of his jacket. Then he looked back at his sister and saw she had a guilty look on her face.
« Is there something you want to tell me? »
« I… I didn't want to tell you now because it's already a sad day but… well I don't like keeping things from you. I went to an appointment at the bank yesterday and… they refused me the money. I'm sorry. »
Walter stared at his sister for a few seconds. He almost forgot about his project with everything happening with Paige lately, and it wasn't usual for a genius to even almost forget things.
« But… why? »
« It's because of my condition… I had to bring it up you know and they said that… that they can't lend me money knowing that maybe I… I'll never have time to give it back. »
Walter's throat tightened. He always refused to talk about the fact that his sister might die early. It was the only scientific statement he didn't accept. Because he intended to change it, and the sooner the better.
« This is stupid. They can't do that. »
Megan smiled sadly at him. She knew how her little brother was, so stubborn and thinking that there is no problem he can't solve.
« You know Sly offered to marry me and be my warrantor. Of course he is too young but I thought it was really sweet of him to offer. »
« He did what?! »
Walter got used to his sister and Sylvester dating but he never considered that it was this serious. He didn't even realized that they could have been talking about this together. He thought that they just liked passing time together. But maybe that was what it was all about? Megan just made a sign with her hand saying to forget about what she just said.
« That was just the first thing that cross his mind. You're married with Happy now after all so you know he just threw that. » she said casually.
Then something started to bother Walter, something he didn't dare thinking about but that actually made sense.
« Megan do you… l-love Sylvester? »
Megan could see he had troubles saying the L word and she almost wanted to mock him, but she knew it was a serious topic and that him accepting that the concept of love could exist was already something huge. And she knew exactly what it was about, and she wanted to fulfill her big sister - confident job the best she could.
« Yeah, we do love each other Walter. »
Walter looked perplex for a few second, probably trying to process this.
« How do you know? When you love someone I mean. »
This time Megan couldn't hold back a giggle. He was so cute, being a little child wondering about the big thing that is love.
« You just… know Walter. That's the point of love, it's inexplicable, but it is real. You just… feel all those things that you can't identify but you welcome them anyway. »
Walter didn't know if he was convinced. He sure felt a lot of non identifiable things when he was with Paige, but he wasn't sure he wanted to welcome them. Sometimes it hurts him a lot, and being aware of a pain that you know you can't heal isn't something enjoyable. He would have to think about what his sister told him, but for now, he had to go if he didn't want to be late.
« I'll figure out something about the bank issue. See you later. » he said before dropping a kiss on his sister's cheek and running out to his car.
- Paige was in front of the church, taking condolences from people she wasn't even sure she ever met, when she spotted Walter. He was standing a few meters from her, staring at her, and just the fact of crossing his gaze eased a little her pain.
Then she felt Drew's grip on her arm tense when he realized who she was looking at.
« What is he doing here? » he asked in a not too sharp voice, because he knew better than starting a fight right now, but Paige could still feel the bitterness.
« He is my friend. I told him to come. »
Drew didn't look happy with this answer but he didn't reply. Suddenly Paige felt his touch very discomfortable, so she pulled out from him and entered the church, her throat tight at the idea of formally saying goodbye to her father.
During the service, Walter kept his distances and sat in the back while Paige was with Drew and some family of her in the front. The important thing was to show her that he was here, but he knew that getting closer would risk making a scene with Drew and he didn't want that. He guessed that not all of her family was aware about the pregnancy because some of them were giving her odd looks, and he felt sorry that she was judged by all these people on a so sad day.
Paige said a few words for her dad, who sounded like a very caring person from what Walter understood, before bursting into tears again. Walter was on the verge of getting up to go get her, he couldn't stand to see her like this and he just wanted to hold her, no matter what people would think, but Drew was closer so he was by her side before Walter could act on his feelings and Paige went back to her sit.
Walter was surprised to see that Paige's mother wasn't here. Sure, she didn't seem to be the ideal wife from what Paige told him, but it was still her husband who was being buried. He heard people saying that she just paid for the whole thing but didn't show up.
At the cemetery, Walter also kept his distance, staying in the back but still in a spot where he could see Paige, like he was keeping an eye on her. At some point, she looked at him and he felt heartbroken at how desperate she seemed. Her eyes were all red and the very discrete makeup she put on had faded away. He wanted to run to her, and to hold her in his arms, but he just stayed put, a stoic look on his face.
At the end of the ceremony, people were talking to Paige so Drew took the occasion to go talk to Walter.
« Look, I don't know what game you're playing O'Brien, and I won't make a scene today but I strongly advise you, again, to stop whatever you think you're doing with Paige. »
Walter didn't want to make a scene either, but he wouldn't just agree to what Drew told him. He had enough big popular guys who tell him to stay away in his life.
« Oh, so you want me to stop helping her with her pregnancy every time you're away? That's great since she doesn't have anybody to turn to anymore. »
« I sweat to god… »
« Drew, mind if I have a word with Walter? » interrupted Paige.
Drew shot Walter a dark look before mumbling some 'Whatever' and giving them some space.
« Sorry about that, I'll talk to him. »
« You… you don't have to I mean I… I don't want to be of any trouble. »
« You're not. If we're gonna do this together he's going to have to accept my friends. And I don't have many so… Anyway, thanks for coming today. It means a lot to me. »
Her voice sounded weak and Walter couldn't remember seeing anyone this tired and sad before. And Walter remembered everything. He wanted to bring his hand to her cheek and wipe off the few tears that were slowly flowing, but a lot of people were staring at them, including Drew, so he just stuffed his fists in his pockets.
« It's okay. I um… just want to be there for you and… show you support. » he said taking his sister's words.
« I know. » she whispered.
« So um… I… I think I'll go now. Unless… unless you want me to stay of course. »
Paige wanted him to stay, she felt good with him. But even if she was ready to be openly friend with Walter in front of Drew, they still had to take baby steps. There was too much at stake.
« No it's okay. But we'll catch up some other day if that's okay with you? »
« Sure. You know I need to go buy clothes so I figured, since you took me out once to help you with that maybe this time… you could come with me? I mean… I don't know if it's a good time for asking… you don't have to if… if you don't want but… »
« I'd love that Walter. » she said with a faint smile.
It was the first smile he saw on her for days and he was glad he was the one who brought it.
This chapter was kind of difficult to write for me because I lost someone close to me recently and I had a really hard time after that. Besides, I'm not always confortable writing about death, it's hard to find the right words to put on grief, so I tried keeping this sober.
Also, I don't mean it as a pressure or anything but reviews really help me to continue writing this for you, when I have no feedbacks I don't know if you guys like what I do or not so it would really mean a lot to me if you take the time to leave a word :) It can be something negative, as long as it's constructive and said kindly, I just have to know so I can make what's coming next better !