Caitlin, wearing a pretty pink dress, her light hair done up neatly in pigtails, was ready for her first day of kindergarten. She shouldered her Disney princess backpack and smiled at her mother. "I'm a big girl now," she informed Olivia. "See, I have my big girl backpack and my big girl snack and my big girl lunch and my big girl clothes and my big girl shoes."
Olivia expertly positioned her daughter against the wall. "Smile, Cate."
She clicked two or three pictures before Caitlin folded her arms and pouted. "No more pictures, Mommy," she huffed, grabbing Olivia's hand. "Time to go!"
Olivia smiled and obediently put away the camera. She took Caitlin by the hand as they walked toward Olivia's car. She lifted her daughter into her booster seat and drove to Caitlin's new school.
She took Caitlin by the hand and they went to Caitlin's new classroom. Her teacher smiled at them. "Hello. What's your name, sweetie?"
"I'm Caitlin," she said importantly, letting go of her mother's hand. "And this is my mom."
Her teacher laughed. "I'm your teacher, Ms. Riley. It's nice to meet you."
Olivia nudged her daughter and Caitlin said politely, "Nice to meet you, too."
Olivia nodded approvingly and knelt down in front of her daughter. "I'm going now, Catie. You have a good day at school. I'll see you this afternoon, okay?"
Caitlin nodded.
"Can I have a hug?"
Caitlin rolled her eyes and Olivia smiled, having a flash of what her little girl would be like as a teenager. But Caitlin obediently held out her arms and gave Olivia a hug and a kiss on the cheek.
"Goodbye, sweetheart."
"Bye-bye Mommy." She blew her a kiss.
Olivia smiled again as she left the classroom. She drove down to the precinct and went inside.
"What are you so happy about?" asked Elliot suspiciously.
She shrugged. "Aren't I just allowed to be happy?"
Elliot marveled at how much his partner had changed over the last four years. Olivia never used to smile or laugh, but now she seemed so much happier. It was amazing what this child had done for her.
"It's Caitlin's first day of school," she explained. "She's so excited. She's getting so big!"
"Be careful, Liv. The days will fly faster and faster and soon they'll be gone. Enjoy it while you have it because in ten years you'll miss it. Ten years and she'll be a teenager."
Olivia gasped in mock agony. "God forbid!"
"I know the feeling. Kids are amazing, aren't they?"
"They change your whole outlook on life," agreed Olivia.
"Olivia, Elliot," said Captain Cragen, coming out of his office. "We need you. ACS called us – child abuse case."
Olivia and Elliot looked at each other and sighed. How fitting. "We're on our way."
They reached the apartment ten minutes later. The detectives went up to the fifth floor and knocked on the second door. "Police, open up!" called Elliot.
A woman came to the door and opened it. "Yes?"
"Mrs. Ellis?"
"That's me," said the tall, nervous woman.
"Can we come in?" asked Olivia.
The woman hesitated. "Sure . . ."
She stepped aside and led the detectives into the family room and invited them to sit on the couch.
"Are your children home?" asked Olivia.
Mrs. Ellis laughed tensely. "It's a school day."
"They're at school?"
"Actually, no. Jackson is but Emma wasn't feeling too well. She's in her room."
"Mind if I go in and talk to her?"
"Actually, I do. She's contagious."
"I have a strong immune system," said Olivia. She turned and went to locate the Emma's room.
The little girl with blonde hair and big blue eyes was laying on her bed, stroking her teddy bear.
"Hey, Emma," said Olivia, perching on the edge of the bed. "You're not feeling too well?"
Emma looked up and shook her head. Her arm was bent at an unnatural angle and she had a large bruise on her cheek and another on her wrist. She looked to be about five years old. Olivia's heart caught in her chest. This little girl reminded her so much of her own daughter that it made her especially sad. No, not sad. Angry. No, not angry. Furious. How could anyone hurt such an innocent child?
Emma shrugged. "I'm okay."
"My name's Olivia," she said. "I'm a police officer and I'm here to help you."
Emma looked at her teddy bear and held it toward Olivia. "This is Mr. Bear."
"Hi, Mr. Bear," said Olivia seriously, shaking the teddy's hand. "It's nice to meet you."
Emma giggled.
Satisfied that she'd won the little girl over, she said, "Can I ask you some questions, Emma?"
She hesitated. "Okay."
"So, Emma, do you get along well with your parents?"
She shrugged. "I guess."
"Does your brother?"
"Yes."
"Emma, have your parents ever hurt you or Jackson?"
Emma paused. "Well, sometimes if I'm bad . . . they spank me."
"They spank you?"
Emma nodded, her eyes wide.
"What happens when they spank you?"
Emma hesitated again. "Daddy does it usually. He makes me take off my clothes and he makes me lie down over his lap and then he spanks me."
"With his hand?"
"Sometimes. Sometimes he uses his belt. Then he makes me lie on the bed."
"What about Jackson?"
"He gets to keep his underwear on, 'cause he's a big boy."
"Emma," said Olivia. "It's never okay for any man to ever hit you when you're not wearing any clothes."
"Even as a punishment?"
"Even then."
Emma faltered. "Olivia, can I tell you something else?"
"Sure, honey."
"But it's a secret."
"Sometimes it's a good idea to tell secrets, especially if they hurt or they make you uncomfortable. And if you tell a police officer, they can help you."
The little girl nodded. "Well, sometimes . . . sometimes at night . . . sometimes after Daddy spanks me . . . sometimes when Mommy isn't home . . . Daddy, he – he pulls down his pants and he makes me take off my clothes and he – he touches me."
"Where does he touch you?"
Emma began to cry and didn't say anything.
Olivia put a hand on the little girl's shoulder and looked her in the eye. "Emma, I know this is hard for you to talk about, but I need you to tell me." Then she had an idea. She grabbed one of Emma's dolls. "Emma, what's her name?"
"Angelina," she replied with a sob.
"That's a pretty name. Could you show me on Angelina where Daddy touches you?"
Emma nodded and took the doll from Olivia. She pointed to the doll's back, bottom, and private area.
Olivia sighed. "Okay, sweetie. Everything's going to be okay. You did the right thing by telling me this. We're going to protect you."
Emma sniffled. "Will you come back and see me?"
The detective nodded. "I'm going to go talk to your mommy now, okay?"
"Don't tell her what I said!"
"I won't," Olivia assured her. "Bye, sweetie."
"Bye, Olivia."
This case had ruined Olivia's day. It was so personal – this little girl was her own daughter's age. It was just luck of the draw that Caitlin was her daughter, born to a mother who loved her very much, and Emma was born to abusive parents. Yet perhaps Caitlin wasn't so lucky after all – she had no father, no grandparents, no family except Olivia. All she had were Olivia's colleagues; Alex, Elliot.
When Olivia picked up Caitlin from school, the little girl chattered about her day. "We went out for recess with the big kids and we played soccer and we sang the ABC songs but I already knew it 'cause you taught me it a long time ago and I had the nicest lunch box. And I made friends with Sarah and Sharon and Lena. And there's boys in our class who always wanna play with us and Jayden tried to kiss Sharon and she let him!"
"Uh huh," said Olivia distractedly, swerving as she narrowly avoided hitting a taxi. She was still focused on poor Emma.
"Mommy," whined Caitlin in frustration, kicking the seat. "You're not listening to me!"
"Don't do that, Caitlin," she said.
"Mommy, what's wrong?"
"Nothing, sweetie. I'm sorry. I just had a hard day."
"Problems with Elliot?" asked Caitlin knowingly, sounding like an adult rather than the four-year-old she was.
Olivia laughed. "No, honey. I'm fine."
But that night after Olivia had given Caitlin her bath and read her a story, she gave her daughter an extra long hug, thanking God for the blessings He had given her and her daughter.